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Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

This was a oneshot that popped into my head last night. So when I got a chance to get on the computer, I wrote it down. Here it is:


Tony was in the bathroom, leaning against the door. It wasn't his door, It was Jeanne's, his girlfriend. Technically he wasn't hiding from her while she fixed dinner, he was just thinking things through. Taking each thought and twisting it into every angle possible to get the full idea of it. Trying to make sense of the feelings he had hidden. And he couldn't do that while he was with Jeanne. No, this was something he had to do without anyone around. And since he had hardly any time to himself, between NCIS and Jeanne, he chose to think whenever he had time to spare. While Jeanne was cooking for him tonight, that was the time.

Jeanne Benoit and him had been together for awhile now. What had brought them together was the assignment that Director Jenny Shepard put him on while Gibbs was still out. He had to get close to La Grenouille's daughter, Jeanne, so he could meet her father. Tony had no idea what Jen had against this guy, but he would as sure as hell help her to bring him down. He and Jeanne had gotten closer than he had expected, but it was hard to turn back now. He had already told her that he loved her, but he couldn't say that it was true.

He had someone else in mind. Someone that he loved and no one knew about. Someone that most people would find surprising. Well except for McGee, since he had written about them being romantically involved in his book. They had both denied it and gave McGee a hard time about it, torturing him and such, but it was something that he wouldn't have minded happening. It's too late now though, he had gone much farther than he intended to with Jeanne and she already knew about his new girlfriend anyway.

That person was the one and only Ziva David. He liked Jeanne a lot, don't get him wrong, but there was something about Ziva that made him feel something more inside. Even though she didn't act nice to him anymore. Ever since he had started the case with La Grenouille and had hooked up with Jeanne, Ziva had become more hostile with him. She didn't sit at his desk to eat with him anymore, or laughed like she meant it. He missed that. He missed that way about her and wished that he could bring it back. Sometimes her words could be so harsh and filled with emotion. He didn't know what to make of it. It was sad that because of Jeanne, they couldn't be friends. He had no idea what Ziva had against her. Maybe she was a little jealous of Jeanne?

Even so, he couldn't just drop the case to be with Ziva. How would he explain that to Jeanne, or for that matter, the Director? He had to stay with Jeanne a little while longer. Maybe the case would end soon and La Grenouille would be Jen's problem no longer. After that, maybe, just maybe, he could explain to Jeanne that he didn't want to waste her time when he was in love with someone else. He hoped that she could and would understand. Otherwise, his life would probably be a mess. His mind and heart were already at war. Tug-o-war that is, each woman pulling a side of him in a different direction. Jeanne was the one in his mind, the one with whom he knew he had to stay for some time because of the case. Ziva was in his heart because he loved her at free will. This war was causing him to rip futher apart from the other one. He really didn't want to spend the rest of his life with Jeanne. And he wouldn't, even if the case took that long. He would have to tell Jen that he couldn't do it any longer. Sure she would be disappointed in him but hey, he wanted to live his life the way he wanted to.

He lifted his head off of the door as Jeanne called for him. Dinner was ready and if he didn't come out now, she would know something was wrong. Walking out he thought to himself that he hoped Ziva would wait for him. Jeanne took him by his hand, pulled him to the table and he sat down. Next, getting two glasses and pouring champagne into each of them. "A toast to us," she said, and they clinked glasses. She smiled sexily at him. This was going to be difficult, Tony thought.


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