The Other Side
Yipes! What's going on? Sit back and relax as our favourite Dragon Ball characters enjoy some mind-bending adventures that we never would have dreamed of seeing when we were youngsters looking forward to the next DBZ episode. Rated M for language and drug use.
We all know and love the characters of Dragon Ball. Growing up with them, there was a sort of innocence that came through to us, even though the show was all about kicking ass. Goku, a deadly warrior, has brought many a foe to a state near death. Yet, he is portrayed as a fun goofball who loves eating and never seems to get angry. Gohan, even after driving his fist through Bojack and disintegrating Cell, is the very definition of innocence.
Well, say goodbye to that! What you're about to read is a close look at some of the ridiculous shenanigans the Z-team gets up to when we're not watching. Unrealistic? Sure. Crude? Maybe. Hours of intoxicated escapades and waking up in the middle of a dank alleyway on a Sunday morning? Absolutely. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the other side.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Dragon Ball/Z/GT. Although owning a real life replica of Goten would be pretty righteous. And don't let me get started on that foxy Android 18… heh heh heh… uh, right.
Author's Note: These short stories are meant purely for entertainment. I don't condone this kind of behaviour one bit (I actually encourage it wholeheartedly, shh…), and anything you read shouldn't be what you're experiencing in real life. Otherwise, my son, you are FUCKED. No offense. I'll try to keep the characters the way you like them, just… with a little psychedelic twist added in ;) Enjoy!
Oh, and I guess you need the timeline. Very well, this takes place right after Kid Buu is defeated, before the 10 year gap in the show.
Ready?
One Month Later…
It has been a month since the nefarious Kid Buu has been defeated by the saiyan Goku's Spirit Bomb on the Kai's planet. With no global threat in sight, the Z-fighters have decided to take a break from all the hero-type stuff, and let loose for a bit. After all, when you're the savior of the world, don't you think you deserve a bit of relaxation from time to time? Yeah, I thought so…
Chapter One: The Dynamic Supper
With all the time in the world to rest now, the Z-fighters have all gone their separate ways…
Krillin and Eighteen have taken off with Maron to Disneyland in hopes of finally enjoying some quality time with their daughter (and each other, giggity giggity). Piccolo, Dende, and Mr. Popo have returned to Kami's lookout to once again assume the position of Earth's guardians.
Meanwhile, Bulma and Trunks remain at home, relaxing, while Vegeta trains harder than he ever has before. Likewise, the Son family has returned to their home in the wilderness, enjoying the peace and quiet, while the beloved Goku continues his daily training routine in hopes of becoming even stronger.
Gohan has returned to Orange Star High, as well as the rest of his classmates. With the disaster of Majin Buu come and gone, normal life could resume. Videl, however, has found a change in her life…
"Hey! Videl!"
A tall young man with short hair that stood up in the air was running towards the daughter of Mr. Satan, who was standing at her new car right outside the school. The final bell had just rang, signalling the end of the day at Orange Star High.
"Gohan! Where've you been?!" asked the intimidating young woman. Her hair was cut short and she sported a pair of fierce but determined blue eyes. "I've got something really cool to show you!"
Gohan, who consistently radiated innocence, scratched his head, evidently confused. Videl had been skipping her classes a lot more often lately, even with complete peace in the city. She had also seemed to be acting a bit different recently… always tired, like…
"What's going on, Videl? Why weren't you in class today again? Don't you know we have that algebra exam next week? We should be cramming!" Gohan panicked as he sputtered the words. "Even Sharpner's hitting the books!"
Chi-chi's disciplinary methods had obviously taken a strong hold on Gohan since he was a young child; still hard-working and innocent, the teen Gohan was what most of us would call, there was no other word for it, a nerd. Marks were definitely first priority for this Son.
"Oh, Gohan. Don't worry about algebra, there's still a week left to study! Come check out what I bought off Yamcha last week…"
"Yamcha?" thought Gohan. "Not exactly the best influence, if you know what I mean…"
His thoughts were cut short as he stared, dumbfounded, at the large plastic bag Videl was pulling out of her backpack.
"Hahahah! Videl, if you wanted to buy flowers for your room, you could have asked me! Besides, stuffing it all in that big plastic bag and sealing it will only end up killing them, I mean, they look dead enough already as it is! No petals or anything!"
Videl giggled and lightly punched Gohan on the shoulder. "No, silly, these aren't flowers!" She grinned devilishly at the boy. "This is weed!" she hushed, as if she wanted to keep this information to be kept concealed.
For the second time that afternoon, Gohan scratched his head in confusion. "Weeds, you say? Well… why didn't you just throw them out? It's hard enough to get rid of those buggers as it is…"
Now laughing, Videl whispered right into Gohan's ear, "It's marijuana, Gohan!"
The young saiyan froze. "No way! Videl?! MARIJUANA?!"
His surprise must have travelled to his face, because Videl quickly pulled him behind her car. "Shhh!!!!"
"But Videl! Marijuana… didn't we learn something about that in physical education a few weeks ago?" Gohan recalled the lecture. "Marijuana! It'll fry your brains!"
"Hehehehehe, no no no! That's all a huge lie! They're just telling us that so we won't try it!"
"No way! Videl, this can't be happening! What's gotten into you?!"
"Gohan! I'm fine! Just… calm down!"
Videl couldn't help but feel a bit frustrated with her friend. Studying hard was one thing… but having such an old fashioned way of thinking? "Listen, Gohan, this stuff doesn't do any of that nonsense, I've been smoking it all month-"
"SMOKING?! NOW YOU'RE SMOKING?!!"
"Of course! How else-"
"VIDEL! What were you thinking?!"
"Now really, Gohan! It's not as bad for you as you think it is! I wouldn't have tried it before doing research on the Internet and finding out that it was much safer than I thought it'd be!"
Gohan, still fuming, sat on the curb, not saying another word. Videl took a seat next to him.
"So… you wanna… wanna try it?" she asked.
"Are you crazy?!" retorted Gohan. He was still shocked at the news that Videl would suddenly be doing things like this. "I'm not smoking anything! I never will!"
"Hm, there has to be a way around this…" thought Videl. "Ah ha!"
The girl got to her feet. "Okay, Gohan, you win. Why don't we come back to my place and watch some TV?"
Gohan smiled. "That's more like the Videl I know. Let's boogie!"
RING RING RING!!!
"Hello?"
"Hey Yamcha, it's me, Videl…"
"Hey! How were the goods?"
"The stuff was great, it had me seeing stars…"
Yamcha laughed. "Hey, why are you whispering?"
"Shh… I'm driving me and Gohan back to my place. He doesn't seem to like the fact that I'm using marijuana, so I'm going to show him that it's nothing to be afraid of."
"Yeah? Did you let him sample the stuff I gave you?"
"No, he won't smoke… that's where you come in! Do you think you can bake us some pot brownies in the next three hours? I have the money!"
Yamcha checked his watch. "3 o'clock… sure, why not, I'm free until tonight anyway. Want me to deliver them to your place?"
"Yeah, please... Just call me when you're done. Okay, thanks!" Videl hung up.
"Who was that?" asked Gohan.
"Oh, just calling my dad to let him know we'll be home any minute."
"Oh, okay, cool. You know, Videl, you don't need drugs to have a good time…"
"Oh brother," thought Videl.
"Alright, Puar, let's get down to business! Haha!"
Puar was a small blue cat-type animal, and she looked worried. "Are you sure this is okay, Yamcha? Gohan's not exactly the type to enjoy that kind of thing!" she squeaked.
"Not to worry little buddy, with my recipe, he won't even taste it!"
"You're missing the point…" said Puar, exasperated.
Yamcha grinned. Formerly a desert bandit, Yamcha had been rivals with Goku when they first met. These days, there was quite a change about him. He had cut his hair short, but he still had scars across his face, giving him the look of a troublemaker. And that's not far off, either!
"At any rate, those two won't know what hit 'em, hahahah…"
"Whatever you say, you're the boss..."
"Mooommmmm!!! I'm hungry!!!"
The pint-sized Saiyan Goten ran into the house, and, having been playing in the woods all day, had worked up quite an appetite. He was the spitting image of his father Goku, other than the fact that he was scaled down about 3 times. Nonetheless, his innocence and cheery attitude brought warmth to all those he met.
"Mom!"
Chi-chi was nowhere to be seen. Nor was Goku, but that was to be expected. Shrugging, Goten collapsed on the couch, turned on the TV, and flipped to channel 412. Like Goku, Goten was quite useless when his stomach was empty. Deciding that it wouldn't help to wait until Chi-chi was home, Goten called his big brother's cell phone.
"Hello?"
"GOHANNNN!!!"
"Hahaha, hey little guy, what's up?"
"I'm hungry and I can't find mom!"
Gohan looked at his watch. "Hmm, it's 6:45 already… listen Videl, I should probably get going." Nowadays, it was normal for Chi-chi to be out of the house when Gohan came home. Ever since the defeat of Kid Buu, Chi-chi had taken full advantage of the fact that her beloved husband was alive again. They often spent their time walking along the lake and admiring the beautiful scenery, perhaps going into the city for the evening and returning later into the night.
However, this didn't bother Gohan. He was able to scrape by with his meals. It didn't bother Goten either, as long as Gohan was around to cook.
"Alright little bro, I'll be home in a flash! Thanks for the brownies, Videl, they were delicious! I think I'll bring some home for Goten, he's starving, the poor kid, heh heh…"
"G-g..Gohan! Wait! You can't give those to Goten!"
"Hm? Why not? The little guy runs around all day, a few brownies won't harm him, haha!"
"N-no!!! You can't!"
Gohan stared at Videl. "What's wrong? They're not poisoned or anything, are they?"
Videl couldn't think of an answer, so she simply shook her head, bug-eyed at the thought of Gohan's little brother devouring the brownies, and facing what was to come…
"It's settled then! I'll cook you dinner sometime, drop by whenever you feel like it, Videl! Seeya tomorrow! In class, I hope…" Gohan's eyes narrowed as he stared down Videl, as if he was a headmaster who had just caught a student spraying paint all over the walls.
"O… o-okay…" Videl stammered. As Gohan closed the door behind him, Videl let out a long sigh. "Oooh boy, this stuff is starting to kick in… oh, hi dad, hehehe!"
Gohan pushed off the ground and set off for his house. "Heh heh, poor Goten, he must get bored being all alone all day, what with Trunks living so far away…" As Gohan thought to himself, he noticed the sun setting in front of him.
"Wow, the sun's really beautiful at this time… I'd better fly lower so I don't crash into it…"
It took Gohan a while to register what he was saying to himself. "Wait, crash into the sun? What was I thinking? Hmm…"
As Gohan tried to recall what it was that had gotten him to start talking to himself, he paid no attention to the fact that he was holding onto a tray wrapped in aluminium foil. Suddenly, the sun shone onto the foil and the glare got right in Gohan's eyes.
"YEOW!" He jerked around in the sky, doing a full 360 before coming back to his senses, or at least what he thought were his senses. "Hmm, what's going on? Why am I holding onto this plate? What good could come of it?"
Hopelessly lost in his thoughts, Gohan had no idea that the weed was getting to him. All the way home, he thought of the most curious thoughts, none of which seemed to tie in with each other, or the task at hand. Boxes… engineers… heavy metal music… psychiatry… windows… Boxing engineers who listen to heavy metal music and drive their psychiatrists insane enough to climb windows!
Gohan almost rolled out of the air from laughing. "Hahahaahhhhaa…. Hahhahahhaahah! Hahhahah!!!!"
Tears in his eyes, the unsuspecting Saiyan just couldn't stop. The sky, the surrounding woods, the plate in his hands… none of it mattered. All that mattered was that he had suddenly solved the problem of the universe… the problem he had been trying to solve ever since he could speak.
"Hahahah! I've done it! Hhahhaahha…! What the hell's going on… hahahah!"
It all made so much sense! Finally! Now if only he could remember what the problem was that he had solved. Wait… what was the solution to said problem? Nothing was going right! Oh no! Wait, what?
"Hahhahh… hahhahah…"
Unable to fly anymore, Gohan fell to the ground in hysterics. As luck would have it, he landed right in front of his house, where Goten rushed out to meet him eagerly.
"Gohan! Yay! Gohan!"
"Hahhaahhaaha! HAHAHHHAHAHA!!! Oh my god Goten! Hahahahah!"
Goten stopped in spite of his hunger, and stared at his older brother in amazement. "Uh… Gohan? Let's make some dinner! Oh boy!"
"Hahhahahaahahh!!! HAHAH!! DINNER!!! Hahhahahaaaha!!!"
Not knowing what in the world was going on, Goten stepped closer, and noticed the plate in his brother's hands. "Oh boy! Brownies! Gimme!"
Taking a brownie from the tray that had fallen to the ground, Goten stuffed the sweet in his mouth. "Mmmm! This is good, Gohan! Did you make these?"
"Hahahah… oh my god… psychiatrists!!! Hahahahhahah!"
"Videl, what's gotten into ya? Yer actin' real odd today…"
"Oh daddy, I didn't hear you come in!"
Hercule shrugged. Didn't his daughter greet him three times already? "Well, come an' get some dinner, it's already 8 in the evenin'! Hey, Buu, let's get to work!"
Mr. Buu stepped across the threshold of the living room door as Hercule called to him The good half of the original Majin Buu, Mr. Buu seemed to look like anything but a destruction craving villain. It was Mr. Satan himself who had made Mr. Buu see the error of his ways.
As Videl looked at Buu, everything else blanked out. Unable to stop herself, she began laughing like it was her job.
"Why you laugh? Buu make you laugh? Hahahah!"
Hearing Buu's high pitched voice made the situation that much more unbearable. Videl collapsed on the ground. Here was a pink alien who acted like a child, cooked dinners, crumbled whole cities, ate cake factories, and with the most child-like voice she had ever heard. It just didn't add up!
"Hey uh, Buu, I think mah little angel might be a little sick… maybe it's best to send her to bed for the night, hehehah…"
"Buu bring Videl to bed! Bed time!"
"Yum! Yum! I love brownies!"
Goten smacked his lips as he ate his third brownie. The tray was now half empty. Gohan was amusing himself with some paper clips he found at the dining table. "Hey Goten, look at this! I made a rhinoceros!" The older Saiyan lifted up a bunch of paper clips that were linked together. Clearly, nothing could have looked less like a rhinoceros.
Goten applauded. "That's amazing, Gohan, it looks just like one! These brownies are really good, hahah!"
"Goten! How many have you eaten?!"
"Uh, three, why?"
"You'll get fat!" Gohan stared his brother down like a hawk. "You should know better than to eat so many sweets at a time!"
Goten looked bemused. "But Gohan-"
"ENOUGH! GO TO YOUR ROOM!"
When Goten didn't say anything and simply stared at his fierce brother in amazement, Gohan spat out in laughter. "Hahahahhhah! I had you, you little rascal! Hahah!"
The two brothers doubled up with laughter. They laughed so hard that they fell off their chairs. Also, Goten had unintentionally turned into a Super Saiyan at this point. But to them, it was all good. In fact, it just helped to accent the humour of their current situation.
"Gohan! Hahhh..ahaahah… Gohan! I… hahhahah… I can't stop… hahah… laughing!!!"
"Hahahhhah! You're ridiculous, little buddy! Hahhhahahah!"
And into the night, the two Saiyans laughed and laughed without stopping. They eventually both fell asleep exactly where they were on the ground, comfortable as one could hope, but never expect. But of course, if a bed's good anywhere, then the ground is just as good, since it obviously is located somewhere. Capiche?
The next morning, Goten and Gohan picked themselves up off the floor, feeling groggy and light-headed. Their mother was at the kitchen counter making breakfast.
"Oh, you two. What am I going to do with you? But you looked so comfortable on the ground that I just couldn't get your father to lift you up and risk waking you… breakfast will be ready shortly."
"Gohan, what happened last night?" asked the curious young Saiyan eagerly.
"I… uh… I don't remember very well… it all seemed like scenes from a movie, or something… I wonder what came over us?"
Suddenly, Goku came into the kitchen. "Good morning, boys! Oh boy, brownies!"
Snatching up the tray of brownies, Goku took one and shoved it in his mouth. "Mmm… delicious!" he said through a mouthful of chocolate.
Shrugging, Gohan and his younger brother grabbed one each and started eating, not knowing of what was to come…
"Yamcha!"
Videl had woken up in her bed with her stomach growling, and her whole body feeling like it was made of feathers.
"Hello?" answered Yamcha sleepily. "This better be good, or I'm going right back to bed…"
"Yamcha! It's Videl! Just how much did you put in that batch of brownies?"
"Um, two ounces, I think?"
Videl sighed. "No wonder…"
So, that's what it'd be like if Goten and Gohan ate magic brownies, eh? Quite a trip, oh yes. Comments? Death threats? Anyone? If there's any negative feedback (apart from the story's direction), I'd be happy to hear it out. Before I end this chapter, here's a word from our sponsor...
Piccolo: Drugs are baaaaaaaaaad!