"Bye mom, I'll miss you." I watched a girl say to a middle-aged woman. Tears were filled to the brim of her eyes.
"Bye hon. Remember, I'm one phone call away." She replied, giving the girl a hug.
I sat down, with my Sour-Patch Kids candy in hand, and just watched as I always do. Probably going off to college, I thought as I observed. It would make sense. It was late August, so most kids here where on their way to college. I live by an airport, so occasionally; I walk up to it and watch. Just watch people go about their lives. Oh, I always buy Sour-Patch Kids. Always. Don't know why, but I've always done it.
I got up and walked towards the exit. That's enough for today.
"Ready to leave?" My cousin, Jarrod, asked me. He was my guardian, for all intents and purposes. When my parents died a few years back, he was the only family I had left that was over the age and in the country. Nevertheless, the state thought it'd be better if I went to live a foster home than live with my 20 year old cousin. The eight months I spent in a foster home were… horrible. So, that led the state to leave me be with my cousin. Now I live with him and his fiancé, Gin, and Gin's brother, Skip. Well, Skip's real name is Kevin and the reason his nickname is Skip is still a mystery to us all. Not even Skip remembers how he got it.
"Yeah. Let me just throw this away…"

"I swear, you have to be the toughest home-school teacher in the history of home-schooling. I mean, whenever someone thinks about home-schooling, it's awesome. Starts later, less homework, you can eat whenever you feel like…" I said to Jarrod. "Uh huh. You just believe that kid. You don't know how lucky you are. I am providing you a rich a full education. Plus, you do get to eat whenever you want and you get less homework. Waking up at seven in the morning isn't that bad anyways." Jarrod said as he tossed a thick envelope in front of me.
"What's this?" I asked. I never get mail. I don't even think anyone but Jarrod, Gin, and Skip knows who I am. Or cared, for that matter. But nevertheless, on the front of the envelope, in a neat script that looked like it belonged to a girl, it said my name. Very clearly too. Jonathan Scott Hemper. The envelope smelled like lavender and was written in pink ink. So yeah, it was probably a girl. Oh, and no return address.
"It's a chocolate bar." He replied with a small smile. "Or maybe… your mail?"

"Yeah, but from whom? Who would write to me?"

"Open it to find out?"

"Right." I said. I had a strange feeling I should open it in private, so I walked over to my room and shut the door behind me. Even though Jarrod was following me.
"Can I come in?" He asked, knocking lightly on the door.
"No. I have feeling I have to do this alone." I said slowly.
"Oh. Ok then. Well, Gin and I are gonna go to a drive-in later on… tell me if you want to come." Jarrod said. Gin loves drive-ins. It's her absolute favorite thing to do.
"Sure, sounds like fun." I said as I sat on my bed. I happen to enjoy drive-ins as well. I listened for Jarrod's footsteps to lead to the stairs and slowly drift away. I waited until silence to open the envelope. Slowly, I pulled my little finger across the back, opening it as if it were a matter of life or death. I kept thinking, who would write to me? Why is this so thick? And why does something seem so… familiar? When I opened it, there was a letter and a package of photos. I opened the folded paper- which apparently was the letter- and before even reading it, my eyes followed down to the end of the letter. The first thing I saw was the signature. I couldn't believe it. Below the neatly written "Love," was the name Vaida Arabella Contagi. The letter read:
Dear Jonathan,
Okay, I know one letter isn't gonna change anything, but I just cannot live with myself. I'm so sorry. I'm truly sorry. What I did was... well, horrible, and you didn't deserve that. Wow, it's been 3 years and I still can't get you outta my head... Any who, I found some pictures of us while cleaning out my dark room. I hope you like them.
Love,
Vaida Arabella Contagi

P.S. I'm moving to Vermont. Weird, right?

Vaida? As in, Vaida Contagi? I couldn't even open the pictures because I was stuck on the name. She was part of my old life. The life I tried to forget. The life that I kept buried in my head, trying to convince myself I didn't need to remember.
"Vaida." I said out loud. A small tear escaped from my right eye. Suddenly, all the memories I had kept locked away for years came rushing in my head. I had trained myself never to think about her, and to never, ever, think about what happened on September 23, 3 years ago. Ever since, I've thought of my life in two parts; The Before and The After.

The Before:

"Wake up, John! Vaida came to visit you." My mom said as she opened my curtains. Reluctantly, I got up, grabbed a plaid shirt that I had laying around, a pair of jeans and walked across the hall to the bathroom. I switched the lights on and got dressed as quickly as I could. When I finished, I ran down the stairs to find my beautiful neighbor waiting for me. Vaida's a very petite girl with long wavy dirty blonde hair with brown streaks in it. Her big, crystal blue eyes met mine and her soft pink lips lifted at the corners.
My relationship with Vaida isn't very clear. We flirt a lot, we even kiss sometimes, but we never became exclusive. I've always wanted to be, God knows I've always wanted to be, but whenever I ask Vaida to be my girlfriend, she just replies "Shh, Johnny. We're at a good place, we don't need labels."

"Good morning, Johnny. I was wondering if you'd be oh-so kind enough to join me for breakfast." She said smirking.
"Sure. Where'd you have in mind?" I smiled back at her as I tried to flatten out my shaggy dark brown hair.
"Why, the International House of Pancakes, of course." Ihop wasn't too far from my house, so we walked there. As we walked, Vaida held my hand and told me about a girl in her photography class.
"I swear, that girl does not like me! She torn apart the picture I took of us sitting by the dock!" Vaida said with a small pout.
"I don't see how anyone could possibly not like you, Vaida. You're absoultely amazing and intelligent, and beautiful, and insightful. You have a great sense of humor and you're caring. You're talented and down to Earth. You have the world's best smile and you're the best at making others smile with you. You're just... well, you're just you. And you're the best person there is," I looked over to her and locked my eyes with hers. "Anyone who disagrees with me is probably jealous. And with good reason too. Because you are the most amazing person I know. And that girl? Well, she just gave us an excuse to spend more time together." I smiled weakly.
"You're too good for me, you know that?" Vaida said as she leaned in and kissed me. Whenever we kissed, I got this feeling in my stomach that felt so... pure. It felt like happiness.
The rest of the way there we walked in silence, holding hands and smiling. I'm postive we looked like a happy couple; it felt like we were a happy couple. But for some reason that wasn't enough for me.
"Table for two, please." Vaida said with a smile as she pulled my hand and followed a waitress.
"Here ya go." The waitress said as she brought us to a booth and handed us menus. She was a rather plump middle-aged woman with curly dark red hair, and a wide bright smile. "My name's Bertha and I'll be your server this mornin'. What can I get for y'all to drink?" She said with a slight southern accent.
"Hmm... for now, I'll have some iced tea, please." Vaida said sliding into the booth, still holding my hand.
"I'll have the same." I muttered as I scooted in close to Vaida.

"Alrighty. I'll be right back with your drinks." The waitress said right before disappearing into the kitchen.

"So, Johnny, you know that pool party Martha Beon's having next week?"
"No." Truth be told, I'm not exactly "cool." I'm average. The only reason the "cool" kids hold a converstation with me occasionally, is Vaida. Everyone loves her, therefore, the figure they'd like me too. Which they don't. Not really.
"Oh, well, she invited me and told me you could come too. So, will you be my date?" She said with a sly smile.
"Do you even have to ask?" I said rolling my eyes at her.
"No, but I thought it'd be nice." She wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my shoulder. Of course she knew she didn't have to ask. I love her.

That following week consisted of hand holding, snuggling, and a lot of smiles.
Two hours before the party, I found myself in Vaida's room, watching some documentary about praying mantises. It was pretty grotty; the females always seem to rip off the males' head after mating. Interesting, but really grotty.
"Ew. What on earth are you watching?" Vaida said as she reached for the remote and turned the t.v. off. "Are you ready to go?" she asked.
"Mhm." I said as I got up and reached for my gym bag that had clothes to change into after the party. "You?"
"Of course." Vaida said with a smile as she grabbed her pale blue bag that was on her bed. "Let's goooo!" She practically ran out of her room.
Once we reached the door and Vaida yelled goodbyes to her parents, we walked to Martha Beon's house. The party was in full bloom when we arrived. Mr. and Mrs. Beon led us to their backyard where the pool was. "Snacks and drinks are in the pool house. There's also a bathroom and a bedroom there, in case anyone starts to feel sick or needs to rest. If you need us, Mr. Beon and myself will be in the house. Just call us and we'll come, m'kay darlings?" Mrs. Beon said to us. "Oh, Vaida, you look lovely in your sundress!" She added as Vaida smiled to her.
"Why thank you, Mrs. Beon. You look beautiful in your dress as well." Always polite, Vaida was always polite. With another smile, the Beons left. Vaida flashed me a smile and ran off to find Martha and her other friends to say a quick hello while I made my way to the snack table in the pool house. When you entered the pool house, you walked right into a hall with three doors and one arch. On the left was the arch, which led to a kicthen like area. Further down from the kitchen was a door. On the right, there were three doors, two slighty opened. I could see that the one closest to the front door was a bathroom and the room next to it was a bedroom. I made my way to the kitchen area to get something to drink.
"What'll it be, John?" Roger, Martha's older brother, asked me once he saw me. "Beer, vodka, or-" he made a mocking face, "sodaaaa?"
"Uh, I'll take some beer, Roger." I replied even though I don't really drink. But hey, it's a party.
"Atta boy!" He said with a drunken grin as he handed me a plastic red cup. Bet his parents didn't know about this.
I exited the pool house, occansionally sipping my drink and looked for any friendly faces.
As I scaned the crowd, I noticed that almost everyone was either a)making out.
b)smoking behind the pool house.
or c)grinding on eachother.
"Alright everyone, can I get your attention?" Martha Beon yelled as she turned off the music. "We're going to play some truth or dare in the bedroom in the pool house and EVERYONE has to participate! Let's GOOOOO!" Cheers followed her and everyone piled into the pool house.
It was pretty cramped inside the bedroom but everyone seemed to fit. Vaida somehow found me and sat right next me on the floor and held my hand.
"Alright guys, since it is my party, I'll start us off! Lauren Higgins, truth or dare?" Martha said as she closed the door behind her.
"Dare!" Lauren Higgins, a really pretty girl with short brown hair, eagerly said.
After several more tedious dares and scandalous truths, someone called on Vaida.
"Vaida! Truth or dare?" James Porge asked her.
"Hmm... Well, I'm not feeling very daring today, so, let's try a truth." She said smiling.
"Alright then, if you love John or whatever, how come you won't be his girlfriend?" He said with venom in his voice. It was no secret that he liked Vaida and that he envyed me, so it really should have been expected. Regardless, the room went still and Vaida's face went pale.
"That's none of your business, you don't have to answer that Vaida." I said. I really wanted to know, but being told in front of my classmates why the girl I love rejects me is not something I'd fancy.
"Yeah, Vaida doesn't have to answer that!" Marhta said angirly. "My turn again..." her voice faded into the background, along with several others. All I could hear was Vaida's soft voice, calling me.
"Johnny, let's go. Into the other room. Please."
"Yeah, okay."
We slipped out while everyone was busy fussing over Martha's objection to do some silly dare. No one seemed to notice.
Vaida pulled me into the room at the end of the hall, which was another bedroom apparently. She looked up at me, her bright blue eyes shinning with sorrow.
"Vai-"
"Shh." She put her fingure to my lips. "Let me talk." She took a deep breath and turned away from me before continuing. "John, I love you. I really do. You know that I'd do anything for you, I'd give anything for you. I'd venture through a thousand troubles just to see you smile. I know someday we'll end up happy somewhere, together." She turned to me and held my hands in hers. I hadn't asked for this talk. Why was I getting it? Her eyes looked straight into mine as she said her next words. "But I can't agree to be your girlfriend. You know that too. I mean, we're so young! We're only 15! We have forever to be together and if we start now we'll grow a part." I wanted to protest but she kept talking. "I know that somewhere inside you know I'm right. And you understand. That's why I love you so much, Johnny. You get me." She leaned in for a kiss but I jerked away from her, shaking with anger. She didn't get it, did she? She didn't understand how I felt. She didn't care. As long as everything was picture perfect in her little head, nothing else mattered.
"Sorry Vade, but I don't understand. And I don't think you're right. In fact, I think you're wrong, very wrong. You can't toy with me like that Vaida! It isn't fair! God, do you ever stop to think about the other person in this non-relationship? You made me fall in love with you, Vaida, do you understand that?" I felt my face get hot. I realized that I was nearly yelling but I didn't care. Who was she to tell me what I understood? Who was she to tell me that I'd be okay with this?
"I think about you all the time! There's hardly a moment when I'm not thinking about you!" She was shaking her head and looking at the floor. "I love you John."
"No you don't. You know you don't. You might fancy me a bit, but you don't love me. I know. It's okay. I'm not trying to force you to love me. I just want you to know that I love you. I want you to know that I'm crazy for you. I want you to know that I'd do anything to wake up to your smile, to listen to you talk about your day, to hold you, to do everything we can imagine together. You don't seem to understand my feelings towards you and I hate that. I hate how much you affect me. I hate how I'm a fool for you." I looked down at the floor and held my breath, waiting for her response. Part of me wanted to hear her response but the other part told me to run. I could hear her breathing along with faint footsteps that told me that the party had moved back outside "I'll prove it." She whispered. She looked as though she was in a trance.
"Come again?" I was slightly confused.
"I'll prove it. I'll prove to you just how much I care about you." She looked up at me with a determined look on her face.
She walked to the door and locked it. Walking towards me like a graceful feather, Vaida pushed me on the bed and climbed on top of me. Her hand cupped my face as she stared into my eyes.
She leaned down and kissed me, so gently that I knew what she planned to do.

That night, I lost my virginity to Vaida Arabella Contagi.

When I woke up, the room was dark and the only thing that I could see was the digital clock that beamed 3:39 a.m. in green on the night stand beside me. Slowly, the memories of the events that had happened came back to me. I smiled, thinking that this had to make me closer to Vaida.
She was right. We had our whole lives to make our love official. Why not just live for the time being? We didn't need labels; we were fine the way we were.
I turned to see Vaida sound asleep beside me.
This, I have never felt this happy.
This isn't happiness. This emotion had to be completely different.
What I feel is so strong, so powerful, so comusing...
Is this love?
No, it sounds to corny.
Whatever this is, I just wanted to hold on to this emotion and never let go.