HEY, EVERYONE! JUST WANTED TO WRITE A QUICK ONE-SHOT LIKE THIS CAUSE… WELL, CAUSE I FELT LIKE IT. SO YEAH. HAPPY READING!
I DON'T OWN ONCE UPON A TIME.
Neal sits on the couch, watching her pace. It's a habit she's always had, he notes. She always feels the need to move when she's frustrated, even if it's just from one corner of the room to the other. But mostly everything else is different, right down to the way she walks. It isn't so obvious when she's pacing, but he remembers walking around with her, Rumple, and Henry in Manhattan, remembers thinking that she walks faster now, more on her heels and with a slight swagger as opposed to the bouncy gait she used to have.
"Emma?" He says quietly. The blonde stops short, and turns around to face him, looking just a tiny bit irritated.
"What?" She nearly snaps.
"Henry's fine." Neal assures her. "You know Regina can't cross the town line and she won't harm him or do anything to take him otherwise." Earlier in the day, when Regina had asked to have a special day with Henry, Neal had been all for it while Emma wasn't. In the end, she got outvoted two to one, which led to her pacing the length of Mary Margaret's apartment for the thousandth time.
"I know." She says, her face unreadable, which tells him that yes, she is most definitely worried. When he had first come to town, Mary Margaret had warned him that Emma may not be exactly how he remembered her… while also threatening to shoot him in the eye with an arrow if he hurt her again. He'd gathered from the little time they were actually talking in New York that she was different but he wasn't aware of just how much so. Old Emma would let him console her and hold her and tell her that Henry was absolutely fine. But nope. Not this Emma. And it frustrates him. He wants to be able to make her feel better. Yes, he's engaged to another woman, but he still cares about her. He wants them to be able to at least be civil to one another, for Henry's sake, but while he's being completely honest, he wants them to be friends.
"Emma…" He starts again, fully intent on making a more in-depth speech this time.
"I said 'I know' he's okay!" This time, it's a full on snap, and she doesn't seem to regret it at all. "You think I would let him be with someone who would hurt him? If you think that just because you supplied the sperm that makes you his father, you have another thing coming because that doesn't define who a father is!" And Old Emma never yelled at him. His eardrums are still getting used to the random decibel changes. Going into 'Father Territory' ignites his own flame.
"I love him, Emma." Still, he keeps his voice low before he provokes her further. "I think I qualify."
"The Hell you do." Suddenly, she moves into his personal space and halls him off of the very comfortable couch he had been occupying. "You think I didn't love him when I was sitting in the jail cell staring at that purple plus sign? Or when I felt him kick? Or how about when I held him for five minutes and he was ripped from my arms!? And do you know why he was ripped out of my arms? Because of you!" She spits out the last word as if she can't stand to say it, and it breaks his heart.
"And do you think I don't regret it, Ems?" The quiet, caring voice and the pet name really aren't fair, and he knows it, but if it gets her to calm down, he's going to pull out all the stops. "I wish I could have been there for you, holding your hand through each contraction. I wish I could have smiled with you when you held him for the first time. I wish we could have picked out a name for him and moved to Tallahassee and taught him to walk and talk and swim, but I wasn't there. I abandoned you, and you can't possibly know how sorry I am for that." While she bites firmly on her quivering bottom lip, he stares into her green eyes, searching for some sign that the Emma he used to know is still in there.
"But you moved on." She says it so quietly he barely hears it. He isn't even sure she wanted him to, but he did, and it's out there. He feels stupid and like an ass because she just said the words he's been trying to forget about for the last eleven years. How can he respond to that? At Neal's silence, she turns her back to him again and stomps to the kitchen to put water on for hot chocolate.
"I'm not the only one who changed that night, Emma." He follows her into the kitchen and sits at the breakfast nook.
"What's that supposed to mean?" She demands, spinning around yet again, arms crossed, glaring daggers at him. Seeing it was the wrong thing to say, he sidesteps with,
"For what it's worth, Tamara wanted to move to Tallahassee. She said it had a good school system and a beach, but I said no."
"How considerate of you." Emma rolls her eyes.
"What do you want me to say, Emma? How many times do you want me to apologize?"
"I hated you for so long." She walks over to the counter and leans on it. "And after I stopped wanting to kill you, I decided I'd just go look for you. Tell you about the son you'd never get to see because of what you did. I spent two years in Tallahassee, but you weren't there. You were off with Tamara, being happy, while I was alone. Utterly alone, like always. It was like you and I never even happened, like it was all just a dream. And sometimes I actually believed that. Except I'd look down and see the stretch marks and I couldn't forget! But I had a stable job, and I was living in pretty nice apartments, but once I started liking a place and the people in it, I'd move. I went on bogus dates and I never had anyone. Until one day a little boy showed up at my door on my twenty eighth birthday claiming to be my son, and I got dragged into this town, and my life changed. Henry asked about you. He asked about his dad. And guess what? I lied to him. I told him he was a firefighter and died in a fire. All so he wouldn't get hurt by you like I did." The teapot whistles, putting an end to the conversation. "Do you want tea?"
"That would be great, thanks." He smiles, not only because she's stopped yelling at him, but at her. He'd always wanted her to see herself the way he saw her, and maybe now she is. After a moment of comfortable silence, he says, "So you uh… you mentioned something about bail bondsing?"
"I don't think 'bondsing' is a word…" Emma allows a small smile to tug at her lips. "But yeah, I did that right up until Henry brought me here."
"Must've been fun." He gladly accepts the white mug and takes a sip. Perfect.
"It was." She nods. "I don't know which was better: their faces when they realized what was happening or the chase." They both laugh. Emma raises her hot chocolate to her lips.
"I hope we can continue to do this, Em." He says, honesty in his eyes. "Talk. I want… I know things will never be the way they were, but I still care about you. It feels silly to say, considering we're grown adults, but I want to be your friend. I want to get to know you."
"Get to know me?" She raises an eyebrow. "You already do. Better than… well, everyone except for Mary Margaret."
"Not really, not anymore." He shakes his head. "You're really different now."
"Oh?" Another sip. This is heading into dangerous territory, but considering she just yelled at him twice, she's willing to let him have his fun for a little bit. Cleary taking that one syllable as a cue to continue, Neal gladly does.
"I have to say, I was really surprised when I looked up after you tackled me, and it was you. I mean, you were like a freaking lion. You have the blonde hair and everything. You've always had anger management problems, but you're angrier, understandably. And there's something about you that's stronger now. You're more confident. And sassy. But that hopefulness you used to have? That's gone. like to think that behind that hard shell, Fun Emma's still in there."
"I'm very fun." She says, choosing to ignore everything else he'd said. "I mean, I'm a very fun person."
"Really, cause lately you seem like you have a stick up your ass."
"Neal, I just learned that fairytales are real and my parents are Snow White and Prince Charming. And you're back in my life. As a friend."
"To friends." He raises his mug, and she does too. The clank.
"You know, this morning, I was seriously considering adding some alcohol to this. But now? Not so much."
"That's always a good thing." Neal says, then looks at his watch. "I should probably get going. My dad wants to have lunch."
"I'm glad you're talking to him." She says, walking him to the door.
"Yeah, well…" He scratches the back of his neck. "I figured if you haven't even punched me yet for what I did, I can spend some time with the man who's half the reason I'm alive."
"Go. Have fun with him." Emma playfully pushes him over the threshold. "You can't take parents for granted."
"No, you can't." He agrees solemnly. "Well, thanks for the tea. See you around?"
"See you around." With a smile, she closes the door behind him.
THIS TOOK A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PATH THAN I HAD INTENDED IT TO, BUT I'M STILL HAPPY WITH IT. FEEL FREE TO HIT THE BLUE BUTTON!