Author's Notes: The story is slightly based on Janet Jackson's "Again". Future setting. This is my first fic, gomen if it's not very good. Constructive reviews would be very much appreciated.
Disclaimer: Slam Dunk is the property of Inoue Takehiko. I'm just an SD aficionado who wants to have some fun with some of its characters.
............
AGAIN
"Kaede! Open up! Don't do this please."
"I don't want to see your damn face again Hanamichi! I've had enough of your crap! Back off and just leave me alone!" I replied full strength, the whole time having tears pour down my cheeks. By God, I've never screamed this loud in my whole life. Neither have I been so furious. Nor hurt this bad.
I can't believe he's done this to me. We've been together for a whole 5 years now. And he cheated on me, for crying out loud! Now, could that be the least excusable?! I don't care if it was because I was away for some time and he was lonely. I was working for Pete's sake! I was making money for the both of us. And what has he been doing the whole time? Shitting on my frickin' head! And goddamnit, he cheated on me with my archrival –Sendou Akira! Cheating is one thing. Doing it with your biggest adversary is another. I don't give a single damn on anything he has to say to justify his dirty deed. And I don't give a single damn if he's at the door right now, apologizing.
"Kaede, please. I'm sorry. I told you that was just a one-time fling. It was nothing, it was just for fun. C'mon, this is not fair. Let me in and let's talk," Hanamichi pleaded, pounding mercilessly on the oak wood door to the point of actually possibly knocking it down on the process if not for the door's sturdiness.
"Oh, it's not fair to you know, is it? What about what you did to me? Haven't you realized yet if it was even fair, huh? Look, just drop this whole thing Hanamichi. It's over. We're over," I answered, now a bit calmer than I was just a while ago, but still quite haven't stopped from crying yet.
"Look, I know it was all wrong, and I admit it was entirely my fault. But please, give me a chance. That was a stupid mistake and I swear to Kami- sama, I would never do it again, Kaede, never. I love you baby. I need you. Please, I'm begging Kaede, don't leave me. I-I can't do it without you," Hanamichi said desperately.
"Do you honestly think I'm as foolish as you are to believe every bloody word you're telling me now? You blew it, Hanamichi. You screwed up. Now just go away 'cause I'm never going to open my door to you again."
............
I sighed, recalling every bit of that one awful memory. That was already six years ago, but still, I can't help but remember those tads of my break- up with the only person I've ever truly loved – Hanamichi Sakuragi.
Oh well, not anymore.
"Rukawa-san, I've been calling your attention for a long time now. You seem to be off. Are you alright?" Toyama Sahiru, the company president asked me worriedly.
"Gomenasai Toyama-san, I just remembered something. I'm perfectly fine. Please proceed with what you were saying," I replied, feeling a bit embarrassed for the draw of attention.
Stupid musings, I never should do that at work.
"Alright, as I was saying, I've been considering a merge between our company and Saremu Corporation, one of the biggest companies here in Japan. As you can see, the economy is quite low nowadays and our business is not doing very good on the market. We are very much in need of financial support and that's exactly what Saremu Corporation could provide for us. I've already talked to their president, Sajjan Kanri. The negotiation's going well, but I need one of you to handle all the dealings. Rukawa-san, I think you're most appropriate for the job. You do it?" Toyama Sahiru asked me, already expecting what my answer would be.
"Who would I be working with?" I asked my boss. I have a feeling this is going to be tougher than any work I've had, but I'd be damned if I defy my superior's orders.
"That's brilliant. This is going to be quite difficult but I always knew you're never one to back out of a challenge, Rukawa-san. You'd be working with the vice president, he's a pleasant man. I'm sorry but I couldn't remember his name, oh I'm getting old, but don't worry you're going to be meeting him soon," my boss said almost quite excitedly, if I may say.
"How soon?" I asked again.
"Oh, still tomorrow," Toyama replied, with all smiles. "Don't worry; you still have all day to study the company's files."
I should have known. Alright. I'm afraid this is going to be a long day.
............
I looked at the wall clock of the coffee shop for the nth time. It's already 8:30 am and said vice president of Saremu Corporation has not arrived yet. Damn it. He was supposed to be here an hour ago. Oh well, at least there's the coffee. I haven't had sleep at all last night, considering that I had to look through all the company's records. Coffee should be good to keep me awake today.
I took a swig of my coffee, tapping my fingers lightly on the glass table. I was supposed to ask for another cup when I heard the entrance door swung open. That should be the stupid prick.
Ha! I'm not going to wave for him. Let the bastard find me, he should make up for his delay.
"Excuse me; are you the representative of Toyama Corporation? I'm terribly, terribly sorry I'm late, I was caught in a jam."
Wait. That voice sounds familiar. EXTREMELY familiar. I turned around to get a good look.
SHIT.
Sakuragi Hanamichi was looking straight at me.
"K-kaede?" Hanamichi asked, apparently shocked to see me.
He's looking good. Handsome as ever. But I can't speak a word. It's the "us" thing again. Tell me nothing could get worse.
Kami-sama. Please tell me he's not the vice president I'm supposed to meet and be working with.
"I'm Saremu Corporation's vice president."
DOUBLE SHIT.
I never thought I'd see him again. But then, here he is, standing right in front of me, waiting for me to say something.
"Oh I see. Nice to see you again, yes, I'm the one from Toyama Corporation," I told him blatantly. I'm shaking all over, I could feel, but I don't think he's seeing it.
I'm not in love with him anymore. Then why the hell am I feeling this way?
I waited for him to say something in return. But I guess it's always the unexpected that happens.
"I've missed you, Kaede."
Before I knew it, his lips were on mine.
I want to push him away. I want to curse him and let every word I say cut him deep. I want to beat him to a bloody pulp 'til he can't get up anymore. It still hurts, it awfully hurts. And I want him to feel the pain I'm exactly feeling right now. I want to, I badly want to.
But the thing is, I can't. I was getting weak. I've lost all the courage to stop him. So I responded. I kissed him back with all that I had; pouring every tiny bit of emotion I knew he was only capable of invoking in me.
The kiss made its way. The next thing I knew, the negotiation was forgotten, the dealings were beyond, business was ancient history.
............
They say it's always the "morning after" that's difficult and awkward. I've never really believed in that. But I guess I'm thinking twice now.
"So, how've you been?" Hanamichi asked me still quite uneasily.
"Great," I answered. I think my monosyllabic self is back.
"I thought so."
"How have you been?" I asked him back, making up for my lack of words.
"Oh, I-I... Well..."
"What?" I asked, quite impatiently.
"Alright. I can't say I've been great, just like you, because I have not."
I rolled my eyes. Yeah, right.
"When you left, I was in a wreck then, it was hard. I always thought you were my means of survival. And without you then, it was painful, extremely painful. But then they say time heals all wounds so as the years went by, I guess I was okay."
"That's good," I told him, for a lack of a better thing to say.
For a while, not one of us uttered a word. There was silence, a long, uncomfortable, deafening one.
Hanamichi broke it.
"Why is it so hard to get over you?"
"W-what?" I asked, surprised. Not because of what he said but because there were tears rolling down his cheeks. Hanamichi's not the crying type.
"I've never been peaceful Kaede. I went from a wreck to being okay but I've never, never been peaceful. It was still you, it's always been you. I've never been able to forgive myself for hurting you, you know. And Kami- sama, I still love you. I'm sorry Kaede, I'm so sorry," Hanamichi said, burying his face on his lap.
He was sobbing.
He can't do this, no he can't. He's not supposed to cry. He's not supposed to show that he cares. He's not supposed to make me feel this way now.
"Stop it Hanamichi. Let go."
"I can't let you go, Kaede. I just can't."
"You don't just barge in to somebody else's life just because you want to. I'm fine now."
"All I'm asking for is one more chance to let me prove myself to you. If even then I could not, I'll be out of your life faster than you say go. Just give me one last, Kaede, one last."
I can't love him again. I can't experience the same pain once more. I don't, I can't...
But I don't want to lie anymore. He's still the one. Despite everything, I still love him. And as of now, I don't want to resist what I want. I don't want to fight back what I long for. I don't want to deny what's real.
I kissed him. The one that sends shivers down your spine.
"Alright Hana. Don't screw this time okay?"
We both smiled.
It seems that I've opened my door to him once again.
............
Again by Janet Jackson
I heard from a friend today
And she said you were in town
Suddenly the memories came back to me in my
Mind
How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again
A wounded heart you gave
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many
I know you did
I come from a place that hurts
And God knows how I've cried
And I never want to return
never fall again
Making love to you
Oh it felt so good and
Oh so right
How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again
So here we are alone again'
Didn't think it'd come to this
And to know it all began
With just a little kiss
I've come too close to happiness
To have it swept away
Don't think I can take the pain
No never fall again
Kinda late in the game and my heart is in
Your hands
Don't you stand there and then
Tell me you love
Me then leave again
Cause I'm falling in love with
You again
Hold me
Hold me
Don't ever let me go
Say it just one time
Say you love me
God knows I do
Love you
Again