AN: Alright before you read this story I'm going to tell you I have completely went outside of the box (again) and completely lost all logic on this one changing everything around, messed with time lines and brought in some supernatural other worldly stuff. This story came about by watching a Fullmetal AMV that completely blew my fucking mind made by Umika (Your awesome with videos) the song 'Orchard of the mines' by Globus then hearing a Christian song called "We fall apart." I also took my emotions, rage and confusion from losing a friend that was like a brother to me and mixed it in. (I still miss you to this day Gil and I hope you're in heaven with God and his angels. I've been through struggles and fought demons and I'm here today to tell you that there is a God and a savior and they do forgive.)
Collaborators: Here Kitty Kitty Kitty (Aka: my daughter, Her OC Valoren,Aka: Riza in my house) and my nephew Kyle(Aka: Lyle, Lolly from my other stories) for some of his deep dark thoughts.
Disclaimer: I own nothing of FMA or the video but it was a mind opening experience (I did use some scenes from the video and ideas that I ran with) those belong to Umika! But the craziness woven in between is all me (Aka: Edward)
Comfortably Miserable
It was a warm night and visions of death and regret plagued Edward's dreams as he was jolted awake by the scene of his younger sibling Alphonse lying near death on the ground next to him. It had been almost eight years since that fateful day when his one decision to take a walk to town turned into tragedy and they were attacked by thugs on the road and his brother was stabbed. They had shattered his arm beyond repair so Winry and Pinako had to replace it with automail. As sweat poured off his face he sat up in the bed pulling his legs to his chest and wrapping his arm around them 'I go inside my darkest desires I'm lost slowly losing hope. I'm alone, all around me I feel loneliness, wishing I could be understood and fully known.' That was the thoughts that would plague him for years. He put his head down and shook it slowly as he reached up and wiped the sweat from his brow.
He had buried his mother then his brother only two years apart. How could he go on? How could he live a life they would be proud of? That's when he decided to join the military and dedicate his life to service but he never figured he'd turn out to be one of Mustang's best assassins. His life was filled with emotionless rage and a conscious free killing spree that he had perfected down to a science. His conscious had died that day he burnt down their childhood home and left the Rockbell residence and his childhood friend Winry behind. Winry had known as she watched him walk away that day that he was not the same boy she had known. Now at fifteen he was a picture perfect henchman for the military.
Not being able to go back to sleep he threw the covers off and got up. He was usually sleep deprived due to the awful nightmares of the people and blood he had on his hands. He had so many near death experiences because he had a death wish that he couldn't count them on both hands anymore. Something had to be protecting him he knew because he had tried to get himself killed many times but he always survived. He figured that his number would come up someday but he had been in this damn military for over three years and he was still alive.
There was nothing in his life anymore that made him feel human. He was a walking emotionless corpse that would snap your neck for just looking at him sideways. The rage that drove him was inconsolable and unstoppable and that's why Mustang chose him for all these unorthodox missions because he knew the kid would get it done without hesitation.
Edward Elric had become the one thing he hated most, a monster and a killer and all he was trying to do was find a way to die. He had nothing to live for it had all died with his brother and mother and he was on a mission to find his father who had left them and kill him too. He blamed his father for Al's death 'If that bastard would have just been there to protect us Al would still be alive.' Driven by psychopathic thoughts and guilt, his mind was now more warped than anyone could ever have imagined.
The sun rose and the phone rang in his room and as he answered it he knew who it was "Colonel, do you have another job for me?" He said with no tone of emotion in his voice.
Mustang figured that in order to keep Edward alive he needed to give him a bodyguard and there was a promising young sniper that had joined the military that was perfect for the job. Her name Valoren Cartier and at age sixteen she was almost as good as Hawkeye, she had joined the military to become a sniper and she trained under Hawkeye for two years now and this would be her first mission to protect Major Edward Elric.
"I want you to come to my office today Elric, I have something I want to give you." Knowing if he told Edward what his plan was he wouldn't show up.
"Fine" Edward groaned out as he hung the phone up. He turned and got dressed in his black pants and shirt and he threw his boots on, barely combing his hair that now hung down into his face. It was a face people rarely saw with his cold and dead amber eyes hiding behind his long bangs. Walking out the door he locked it and continued down the hall bumping into a man "Excuse me" the man said and Edward looked up some "Is there one for you?" he said before scoffing at him and continuing on his way.
Everyone in Central just moved out of his way as he walked down the hall. No one wanted to encounter the rage that was Edward Elric. Valoren turned to Mustang "May I ask sir what he's like?"
Mustang looked at Hawkeye then back to Valoren "He's completely out of his mind. His rage drives him and he has uncontrollable psychotic thoughts." He smiled a slight smile at Valoren "He's damaged goods Valoren." He turned to look out the window "But deep inside of him he's also so fragile that the slightest thing could make him completely snap."
Valoren thought to herself 'Great leave it to me to get the completely fucked up one.' She smiled a slight smile at Mustang "Okay sir thank you for that information."
Opening the door to Mustang's office he walked in and walked to the couch and sat down never lifting his head to look at anyone. As Valoren looked at him all she saw was a boy who looked really depressed and lonely but she remembered the Coronel's words.
"Elric, I'm giving you a sidekick and a bodyguard." He turned to her "This is Valoren she's going to be tagging along with you for the next couple of weeks."
Edward's head slightly went up and through his bangs he looked at the girl standing in front of him. Her burgundy eyes with dark brown hair that was just below her shoulders in a side fishtail braid. Her fair skin was slightly tanned as he looked her up and down 'She is quite easy on the eyes' he thought as he sighed "So you're strapping me with a babysitter now huh?"
"She's not a babysitter." Mustang got annoyed.
Edward just laughed a cocky laugh "Well what would you call it then?"
Valoren stepped forward "I am a sniper capable of taking out anyone who threatens your life sir." She saluted Edward and he just stood up and looked at her through his hair never lifting his face up "Fine then I guess I'm stuck with you." She smiled but then it turned to unease as he leaned in near her face "Just don't get in my way or-"he said through gritted teeth "I'll bury you out there."
She nodded horrified and behind his hair he smiled a half ass smile then relaxed some knowing he had control of her and the situation. 'Great! Now I have to deal with a snot nosed wet behind the ears sniper' he thought knowing he couldn't argue with Mustang's decision.
"Good now that you two have met I suggest you get to know each other better because you'll be depending on each other to watch one another's backs." Mustang said smiling because he could tell Edward didn't like the idea of having someone around in his space.
'I do not play well with others' Edward thought as he smirked at Mustang and dropped his head lower and turned to exit the office "Come on" he groaned at Valoren as she turned and followed him down the hall and out the door into the streets.
As they walked down the street she noticed he would see children and he would stop and get a far off look like he was remembering something then he would shake it off and start walking again. He led her to a café where they entered "Are you hungry?" He asked her as he sat in a back booth that faced the door with his back to the wall. She nodded slightly and sat across from him as he told the waitress to bring him his usual and then motioned to Valoren.
After the waitress left he slightly looked up "Look Vulcan." She gave him a strange look "It's Valoren Mr. Elric."
He chuckled behind his hair "Its Edward not Mr. Elric." The waitress came back with their food and placed it on the table as he grabbed a fork and started shoveling food into his mouth as he talked "I don't know how this is supposed to work."
Being her sarcastic self she looked at him "Why don't you quit shoveling food in your mouth before trying to talk." He stopped and stared at her with those amber eyes that she saw through his hair and she saw so much more in them than being cold and dead. She tried to imagine them happy and full of life as he gave her a blank stare while putting his fork down "Like I was saying I don't know how this is going to work."
She smiled at him hoping to get him to let his guard down for a minute "Well I'm here to watch your back and make sure no one kills you."
Meanwhile back at Mustang's office Hawkeye was having second thoughts about putting Valoren with Edward "Are you sure about this sir? He's a complete psychopath." She cared for her student and she didn't want to see her get hurt. Valoren was a prodigy with a gun at age twelve she was the best shot around when Mustang recruited her and Hawkeye always thought he did it just for this particular mission.
"She's a very social person and I think being around her will help Fullmetal. Maybe since she lost a brother too they'll have something in common." Mustang stood up and walked to the window "Something or someone needs to get through to him."
"Well sir you sending him out on these crazy ass missions doesn't help his outrageous thinking." Hawkeye said very strongly "He is just a child."
"Yeah he may just be a child but he's also the ultimate weapon." Mustang said closing the conversation as he picked up Edward's file and began reading it again for the twentieth time.
When they finished lunch Edward stood up and looked at Valoren "I hope you have money to pay for your food because I'm not."
She stared at him "Sure I'll pay for mine I mean after all we're not dating." He turned to her as if to say 'What the fuck?' but instead just shook his head. He really didn't know how to take this girl.
"I hope the Colonel made arrangements for you to stay somewhere." He looked back at her still not raising his head. She smiled "The Lieutenant rented me the room right next door to yours." Edward rolled his eyes "Greaaat!"
Getting back to the hotel he went to open his room and she turned to him "Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."
"I can hardly wait." He groaned out as he stepped into the room and the phone rang. So walking over and picking it up "Hello"
"Fullmetal" Mustang said softly "Did you take care of that little problem that I wanted you to?"
Edward smiled a devious smile "Did war break out in Ishval?" He was having nightmares about that. He didn't like shooting that kid point blank in the head while looking into her eyes but it was a mission and orders were orders he had just blocked it out and stuck it deep into his mind and locked it away.
"Yes war broke out now your orders are here so you need to come in tomorrow and get them." He knew Edward wasn't going to like the orders he got. They were putting him right on the frontlines of the war he started.
"Fiiine!" He said "Do I have to bring the babysitter too?" He really didn't know how he was going to deal with this girl.
"Yes you don't go anywhere without her." Mustang snapped "Do you hear me Elric? She's there to protect you."
"I don't want protection and I don't need it." His voice lowered.
"Do you know how many people want to kill you?" Mustang growled "SO YES THE BABYSITTER STAYS!" then he slammed the phone down.
Edward looked at the phone "Asshole." he said softly putting the phone down 'I knew she was a fucking babysitter' he thought sitting on the bed trying to contemplate a way to kill Mustang before Hawkeye killed him. Then he stood up and got undressed down to his boxers and a shirt. As he lay on top of the bed and jamming a pillow under his head he thought of his childhood friend Winry and he smiled, it was the only thing he actually held onto from that part of his life that comforted him as he fell asleep.
Valoren was awoken hours later to moaning and yelling in the room next door and she got up and grabbed her pistol thinking Edward was in trouble. Walking out onto the hall she realized that no one was there as she got to his door and tried it and for some strange reason it was open so she turned the knob and went in. She saw him thrashing about on the bed as she walked over. She stared at him trying to see the face no one ever saw. His hair was over his face as he slept on his back with his head turned slightly to the side. Walking slowly over to him she reached her hand out and gently moved his hair from his face. She was startled when he reached up and grabbed her hand "What are you doing?" he asked wickedly.
She tried to pull her hand back but his grasp on it was tightening "I-I was just checking on you. I heard noises and thought you were in trouble." She gave into his grasp and sat on the bed "And I was trying to see your face."
His eyes narrowed behind his hair as he lifted up and looked at her then he let her go. He couldn't believe she had just said that so he decided to show her the real him as he moved his bangs back some from his face "There. Get a good look because this is why I don't show people."
She looked at him and she smiled "Yeah your right maybe you should keep it covered up."
He got a confused look "What are you talking about?" She reached up and moved his bangs back "Your face. Maybe you should keep it covered. I mean you look really scary with the bangs and all but when you pull them back you just look like a normal boy."
He groaned "Would you just get out." And as she got up to leave he stared at her as she walked out not knowing how to react to her. 'I'll have to say she's different' He thought putting the pillow back behind his head 'Who the hell does she think she is? She's lucky I didn't snap her arm off.'
She waited till a little later then went back and opened the door to check on him and when she opened the door he was on his back spread across the bed and his face was in full view 'He is kind of cute now that I see his whole face.' She closed the door slowly and all she heard was him scream "ALPHONSE!" and she swung the door back open and saw him sitting up breathing heavily, wide eyed and scared "Are you okay?"
"You again?" he said softly trying to gather his thoughts as she walked closer "Who's Alphonse?"
Edward pulled his leg to his chest and put his head down "He was my younger brother that was killed."
She walked over slowly and sat on the edge of the bed "I lost my brother too." Her head lowered as she said softly.
He actually looked up at her this time and into her eyes and she could see the hurt in his as he starred at her 'Is that why the Colonel put us together?' He thought not pushing the subject seeing the look on her face. She looked like she had her own demons and regrets she didn't want to talk about.