I think this story, my first story, is a little overdue considering how long I've had this account. I'm also probably being a bit ambitious, posting two stories at once (for those who are interested, check out my account for my other story. It's a Pokémon fic called Amaranth, it'd be awesome if you checked it out) but I guess I'll keep going and see how this ends up.

Enjoy!

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There aren't a lot of reasonable thoughts to be thought when you're reincarnated incorrectly. Sure, there's the obvious 'what the hell is happening?' or the understandable 'holy shit, no way'.

There's the denial which is to be expected; 'this is not possible, there has to be some sort of scientific explanation, right?' or maybe, if you're more religious, 'how the hell did the gods/God fuck this up so badly?'. All these thoughts and more came to me later on.

But, if I'm honest, my first thought as soon as I realised what was going on was something along the lines of this; 'I'm gonna have to do puberty all over again, aren't I'.

Followed closely by; 'I just witnessed the miracle of birth from the wrong end and I've only lived for 2 minutes but I am significantly traumatised for the rest of my second life.'

When I look back on that day, I realise I was in shock. I was silent and still as I was passed around from person to person, still trying to process that this was real and was actually happening to me. A bunch of blurry, unfamiliar faces faded in and out of my vision as they seemed to try and garner some sort of reaction. What a creepy baby I must've been at first. It wasn't until my vision cleared up a little and I was placed in the arms of a very much familiar person that I began to react.

I honestly cannot say if Uzumaki Kushina was happy that she managed to get the first reaction or if she was scared out of her wits thinking she broke me as I began to freak the fuck out.

I didn't cry. Oh no, no tears here. I may be half an hour old physically but I was mentally 22 and stubborn as hell and I was not going to let this body get the best of me. I survived hormones the first time, I would survive this.

Instead, I opened my mouth as wide as I could and screamed bloody murder.

I'd seen Naruto, obsessed over it in my early teens even, and I recognised the protagonist's mother with no small degree of horror and revelation.

I couldn't form words out loud yet but there were plenty unfavourable ones running through my head at that moment.

Kushina's face vanished from my sight and I was passed back into the arms of who I would later recognise as my new mother.

She looked a little familiar. Not her face exactly, but her features reminded me of someone.

Black hair, dark eyes, dark clothing...

Wait a second...

No...

The universe couldn't be that cruel, right?

I'd been good in my first life. I mean, sure, I recognise I was kind of childish, I swore constantly with all the decency of a pirate and was an absolute nightmare of a brat until I hit around 17 but I didn't kill anyone! I got decent grades! I did my chores! Didn't that count for anything?!

There were other black-haired, dark-eyed people in the village, right? Like... uh... ooh! Shikamaru! That's it! I'm probably just a Nara! Or maybe just some random civilian family with similar hair and eye colour!

It wasn't until a little while later, when I had finally stopped screaming — I didn't really account for the lack of oxygen that comes with screaming constantly — and a doctor stepped forward to talk to my new mum that my worst fears were confirmed.

Now, I was born in Adelaide, South Australia. The only fluent language I spoke was English, but I'd been learning Japanese in school since I was about 8. Sheer luck or fate, I don't know, but it was one of my favourite subjects as I developed a mild interest in languages. It meant that even after I graduated high school, I made sure to remember the basics in case I ever decided to study it again.

This helped me a lot later on when it came to learning to communicate with everyone around me and meant that I could still pick out a couple of words even through the hysterical blubbering mess that was my train of thought, words like 'home', 'days', 'father' and a name he addressed her by.

Uchiha-san.

I was a fucking Uchiha.

Seriously?! The universe was just fucking with me at this point!

Unfortunately, I was still a bit out of breath so I had to settle for glaring at everyone in the room. Oh yes, I was angry at the universe, at life and they were all going to know it.

And they did.

I was the most annoying, the most harrowing, most reckless, loud, grubby, little brat this world had ever seen. Well, at least to most. I learnt quickly that my mother was a jounin and was not to be pushed around.

My father, on the other hand, got the brunt of it. He was a ninja, as I quickly learnt, who had married into the Uchiha clan. There was nothing particularly special about him. He was a good ninja, a chuunin, and he'd alternate between spending a couple of weeks dedicating himself to being a part of my life and going on long missions.

He was my personal chew-toy but he loved me too much to care.

"Kaida-chan, look here," he cooed, taking advantage of the ten minutes reprieve I had given him after gnawing on his sleeve for an hour to hold up a pointy ninja-star from out of nowhere, "this is called a 'shuriken'. Repeat it after me, shu-ri-ken."

"Ah-bahbahbah," I blubbered cheerfully, pushing my pudgy little hands against his cheeks with each syllable.

"Shu-ri-ken."

"Ahbah-bahbahbah?"

"Shuriken."

"Bahbah!"

Dad was never a subtle man, especially for a ninja. While I knew that everyone expected me to be a kunoichi when I grew up, being part of the renowned Uchiha clan and all, dad had always been very excited at the idea of teaching me about the ways of the shinobi. He often showed me his forehead-protector and traced the carved leaf while telling me stories about his more exciting missions. He never got angry when I slobbered all over his forehead-protector or chewed on his fingers and never let me forget that he loved me.

He was a good father.

The sound of someone entering through the front door, however, had him hurriedly storing the shuriken away with all the behaviour of a guilty man.

"Don't tell your mother," he whispered in panic.

Mum had a thing about sharp and pointy objects near me ever since I threw a dart into my dad's leg. He'd thought it would help me get some aiming practice in while I was still young and that was during the short but painful period in which I got annoyed at my limbs which wouldn't react or move like they did when I was 22.

Mum loved the idea of me becoming a ninja as well but she never really approved of dad trying to introduce it to me before I was old enough.

Another thing about mum was that she was beautiful. Like, super pretty. I wasn't very attractive in my previous lifetime. I mean, I wasn't terrible looking but nothing stood out either except for my gangly, too-long limbs and the freckles that were everywhere. But now, every time I looked at my mum, I had hope. I mean, between her and my slightly-better-looking-than-average dad, I felt pretty confident.

Heck, sometimes, I'd look at my dad — my sheepish, fumbling, goofy, new dad — and think, 'how'd you score her?'

He'd always scowl back as though he knew what I was thinking.

Mum strolled into the room, carrying at least four bags of groceries, and glanced at us studiously. My dad grinned a little too widely back and reached out to pat my head as if to say, 'look at me playing innocently with our little tyke, isn't she adorable?'

"Welcome home, Miu, darling," dad greeted, breaking the suspicion-filled silence. I resisted the urge to slap my forehead. He really was a bad liar. Truly, I didn't know how he ever ended up becoming a ninja.

Mum's eyes narrowed. "Akio... you haven't been pulling out any kunai around our little 3 month old daughter again, have you...?"

Ha! Nothing got past those monster instincts!

"Of course not," her dad denied instantly. Technically, he was correct. It wasn't a kunai after all.

I grinned and if it looked just a tad malicious, hey, my mother taught me well.

"Shu-we-ken!" I squealed, sounding out the syllables and bursting into a fit of giggles, acting every bit the part of the innocent child seeking approval.

My dad blanched and stared at me in horror.

"Shuwiken!" I clapped excitedly.

My mother growled.

"Akio...!"

Deciding that this little situation didn't need any witnesses, I suddenly found my little baby socks very interesting as my dad let out a very unmanly shriek and my mother advanced like the grim reaper.

"Bah-bah!"

"Miu – wait – no – mercy!"

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

Kushina, as it turns out, was an old friend of my mother's. They were on the same genin team, surprisingly enough.

Kushina had been a little freaked out when I, you know, started screeching like a temperamental eagle when I saw her face so she'd dodged meeting me again until I was 4 months old. I was prepared to meet her again though.

I was not, however, prepared to see her at least 6 months pregnant. I stared at her stomach with wide eyes as I slowly processed this.

What month was it now? July? August? Naruto was born in October, right?

Naruto would be born soon. I was right in the middle of the main timeline. I mean, I judged by Kushina's age and the fact that the Uchiha clan was alive that everything would happen somewhat soon but fuck, I didn't know it was that soon! I wasn't ready!

Did that mean Sasuke was born already? The Third Shinobi World War was definitely over then. Wait, how old did that make Itachi? How old was he when he killed all the Uchiha? Shit, I needed to start thinking. I needed to write everything down before I forgot it all. I needed to do something.

"Kaida, this is my friend, Kushina," mum said gently, tilting my in her arms until I could clearly see the nervous redhead. Kushina fidgeted awkwardly, evidently caught between keeping her distance in case I freaked out and immediately pouncing on the adorable blubber of a baby that was me. "Kushina, this is Kaida."

"Uh, hi, Kaida," Kushina spluttered, before muttering to mum under her breath, "you made this? She's so cute!"

Mum laughed and stepped closer. "Why don't you try holding her?"

"Wait, what-ttebane?"

Kushina didn't have time to protest as mum took advantage of her surprise and deposited me into her arms. I giggled at her alarmed expression and reached up to pat her cheek reassuringly, taking pity on her nerves.

"Kushi-bah!" I exclaimed, throwing every bit of acting I had into my cutesy baby expression. She softened instantly and held me close. "Kushi-bah-bah!"

"Oh, she's too cuuuute-ttebane!" Kushina cried out and suddenly I was crushed in a tight hug. There was a lot of red and a lot of pressure and I flailed a little in shock.

'Breathing... not... working...!'

"Uh, Kushina, please refrain from suffocating my child."

"Ah, gomenasai!"

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

The nine-tails attack came two months later.

It was a sobering experience.

One moment, I was dozing in my cot, drifting off to sleep. Then the world shifted, the air thickened with death and I screamed for the second time in absolute terror because the stench of fear suffocated me and no matter which way I twisted and turned, I couldn't escape it.

It took mere minutes before a large figure slipped into my room and unfamiliar arms scooped me up. A glint of light off the metal on their forehead instantly told me that this was a shinobi and they were here to save me so I clung to them as tightly as I could, burying my face into their chest and whimpered.

It wasn't the first time that I had felt utterly helpless, hell, it wasn't even the first time in my new life, but it was one of the most traumatic. I found myself thinking, 'how the hell am I supposed to change a world like this? How am I supposed to survive a world like this?'

And then it struck me, right in the middle of my panicked craze, amidst the deathlike atmosphere.

I wasn't supposed to survive.

I was an Uchiha. There was a plot, a specific way things had to go in order to reach a happy ending. I was an anomaly. A glitch in the system. I was not supposed to exist.

And I was fine with that.

They say that after you've experienced an event, after you faced a fear once, you tend not to fear it as much the second time you do it. Perhaps this had some truth because the thought of dying didn't scare me so much now.

In fact, I think surviving in this world scared me just a little more.

So, as Kurama's chakra slowly leeched out of the air hours later, I had long since stopped screaming. When my mother finally showed up, her relieved face streaked with dirt and blood, and launched herself at me in the desperate way that only worried mothers could, I watched her calmly, understanding and accepting. Hell, I may have even smiled.

I would live the next 7 or so years as I wished. I would follow my parents' expectations, I would make everyone around me as happy as I could for as long as I could. And then I would face Itachi head-on and hope it would be quick.

I was not one to struggle against fate.

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So. There it is. Heh. Yeah.

Unfortunately, I don't actually have a beta for this story, or anyone really to read over and help edit it so the quality may be dodgy. I just hope to god there're no spelling mistakes (or grammar or punctuation, etcetera...) If anyone finds any, feel free to let me know so I can fix them up. And please, review! Like I said, there's no one to help edit so I'll take suggestions, advice, feedback, anything from wherever I can get it. Then hopefully I can make this story more enjoyable. (Maybe expect a rewrite in the future once I get more practice)

I will also try very hard to avoid a mary-sue protagonist but it's always a bit difficult to tell what contitutes a proper mary-sue. Evidently, my character will end up a strong character since, you know, I do want to keep her alive until the end.

As for the storyline, it'll probably stick fairly close to canon for a little while but be prepared for some major plotline destruction in the future. Also, I don't tend to hold back on the swearing. Be warned.

Ok, until next time~!

- Dragon