I don't own glee or the characters just the story idea.
You know that feeling where it literally feels like your chest has been ripped open and someone has reached into it and is squeezing your heart? And at the same time it feels like your stomach is in your mouth and your eyes are watering because you can't comprehend the feelings that are rushing through your veins and are invading your cells? Well it is happening to me right now as I clutch my phone in my hands, staring at the message that is on the screen.
'I've told her' those three words have managed to stop me in my tracks, they have managed to make it difficult to breathe. I feel a hand on my shoulder,
'Quinn what's wrong?' I turn to look at Puck, we've become a lot closer since Shelby came back. A sob escapes my mouth and I hand Puck my phone before I drop it, everything hurts, my eyes become blurry and I squeeze them shut trying not to let the tears fall, I feel Puck drag me into the janitors closet and I remember that we are at school and I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown.
'Quinn look at me' I raise my head, I lock eyes with him, all I can see is rage. 'the fucking bitch, she had absolutely no fucking right to tell Santana about your feelings, when I get my hands on her, well I mean I can't actually do anything considering I'm a man and I don't hit women but she is going to get a piece of my mind and it won't be pretty' I stare at him in shock, Puck never swears this much...he must be really mad. He takes a calming breath.
'now you need to pull yourself together, you are going to go out there, walk up to Santana and explain what the fuck is going on, because she has just text you asking if it's true' panic spreads through my body and I know he sees it.
'I...I...wh...I can't' I finally manage to get out of my unresponsive mouth, even if my voice cracks at the end. A sigh escapes Pucks mouth.
'yes you can, you have been through a lot worse Quinn, don't let fear and Rachel get in your way.' I find myself agreeing with him, I can't let this affect me, I'm stronger than this, I give Puck a small but confident smile, wipe my eyes and hope I don't look to bad seen as I am about to confess my feelings to the girl I love, I grab my phone from Pucks open hand and walk out of the closet and in the direction of Santana's locker. I feel Puck right behind me, even though I can't see him I know that 1) he is super pissed at Rachel and 2) he is routeing for me. I take a deep breath as I approach Santana's locker, where she is stood with Brittany, she has her back to me so when Britt spots me I hold a finger up to my lips so she knows to be quiet, I don't need San to see me until I am fully prepared for what I am about to say to her. When I eventually get to her, I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans and take another deep calming breath before I clear my throat so she knows I'm there. When she turns around the smile that was once on her lips drops and is replaced my a frown, I give a small sad smile.
'umm...hi' I give a small pathetic wave and internally punch myself.
'hey' well at least she's talking to me.
'look San...what Rachel said its...' she holds a hand up to stop me talking.
'you don't need to explain anything Q, I know Rach is just angry at you and is making things up' my heart drops, I feel Puck put a hand on the bottom of my back to stop me from running away, which is something is am seriously considering.
'that's the thing San, it is true...I do love you' I am now thanking whatever God there is that it's the end of the day and everyone is gone home for the weekend, it's gets so quiet I'm sure they can hear my heart trying to escape from my rib cage, Santana's face is unreadable but Brittany is smiling widely which I take as a good thing, Puck clears his throat nervously.
'hey Britt, why don't me and you go get some ice cream and go feed the ducks' he says in an overly cheerful voice he puts on for her, I smile internally at their friendship.
'Sure! I can go see Donald then' we both must pull a confused face because she then goes on to tell us that Donald is her favourite duck but he stalks her and takes all her bread, Puck drags her away before she can elaborate further, he mouths 'Good luck' behind Santana's back with a smile and a dorky thumbs up. I lock eyes with Santana who's face I still can't read.
'San say something' my voices comes out pleading and whiny but I can't find it in me to care, because it seems like forever since she's spoken but realistically it's only been a couple of minutes, my chest is starting to hurt with my heart beating so hard and fast, I wipe my palms on my jeans once again and start to regret not going straight home, curling up in a ball on my bed and crying. Santana runs her fingers through her hair and let's out a sigh, but I can't tell if that's a good sign but I truly doubt it can be anything but bad, I can feel my chest about to be opened up and my heart ripped out so everyone can see how it beats pitifully for the girl standing in front of me, said girl opens her mouth as if to speak but she closes it straight away, this happens a few times before she finally speaks, I hold my breath for the painful rejection that is about to come.
'Quinn...why didn't you tell me sooner?' I look at her questionably, what exactly did Rachel tell her.?
'Rach told me that you've had feelings for me fore a while'
'oh...umm...I was going to tell you sooner but I didn't want to lose your friendship, I mean we've been friends since forever and you mean to much to me for me to just lose you, even if I can't have you the way I want I still wanted you as a friend, I still wanted to be able to talk to you everyday, to look at your gorgeous eyes that every time I look in them I fall deeper and deeper in love with you, I wanted to be able to laugh and joke with you because your laugh is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard...well apart from your voice. I just wanted to be near you, to help you and to protect you. I know it sounds stupid, lame and a little but cheesy but that's just how I felt...how I still feel' my eyes never once leave her beautiful brown ones, which are now shinning with tears.
'shit...San don't cry, I'm sorry, I'll just go now' I move to turn around but a hand on my arm stops me, and soon I feel a pair of soft luscious lips fall on mine, the lips I've wanted for over a year and I can't help but kiss back, my arms tangle around her waist and hers go around my neck, eventually we break for air it we keep our foreheads resting on each others.
'that speech was beautiful Quinn, if you wouldn't have guessed it I'm kind of in love with you as well' I let out a laugh.
'but why didn't you say when I told you? I thought you were going to break my heart, I thought I was going to lose you' I can feel tears spring to my eyes but I refuse to let them fall because this is a happy moment.
'I wanted to make sure you meant it and you weren't saying it' she puts her had over my mouth when I go to interrupt.
'I love you so much Quinn, I didn't want to get hurt, so when I got the text from Rachel and she said you loved me I thought she was making it up so I put up my wall so I didn't get hurt, I'm sorry if I made you think I didn't love you back' I just shake my head and tell her its okay that's when she leans forward and kisses me again, I feel my chest put itself back together, and my heartbeat slow down and I can't help but smile because for the first time in quite sometime, I feel whole.
A/N; I've been wanting to write this for a while now, but I couldn't find the words. This is a product from a sort of personal experience and like everyone says- 'write from your experiences' so thats what I did...sort of. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you did please review and if you didn't review anyway and tell me why you didn't like it and how I could improve. Thank you! Oh and please mind any grammar mistakes, I am working on getting it right.