When I was younger, I would always imagine that a tall, dark, and handsome Prince Charming would come rescue me from a tower after battling an evil dragon just to save me and marry me and make me his princess.
I later learned that I had an overactive imagination.
But this. This isn't right. Of course he's not my Prince Charming come to sweep me off of my feet. At first he was. But this constant fickleness. The random texts saying "I think we need to take a break." Or the notes left next to me on the bed in the mornings that read "Sorry. I can't do this anymore." They altered my fairy tale.
But I love him. And when he comes back like he always does. He tells me he loves me. He tells me that he'll love me "forever and always." Of course I believe him because it's exactly what I want to hear.
I reread the note. He left it on the table this time.
Maria
I just can't.
I'm sorry.
Randy
I wipe away the tears that began to fall the second I saw the note. They'd been threatening me since I woke up alone.
I clean up my breakfast and hop in the shower. I get dressed in a pair of light wash skinny jeans and a purple T-shirt before blow drying my hair. I pick up my phone from it's charger and call my best friend.
"Again?" She answers.
"Yeah. Maria. I just can't. I'm sorry. Randy."
"What an ass." She spits into the phone. "Ria you deserve better than him. How many times has he done this?"
"Well…" I start as I count in my head, "Eleven, I think."
"MARIA!" She shouts. I hear her breathing deeply. "Hun, that's eleven too many."
"What do you want me to do, Micks? I love him."
"Meh. I know you do. Honestly, I think you should give him an ultimatum."
"I can't give him an ultimatum."
"And why not?" I can just see her putting her hand on her hip and giving me that look. The look that says you know what you're doing, now stop. And I do know what I'm doing.
There is a long pause as I try to think of an answer. "We're not even together. I can't give him an ultimatum saying either pick me or leave. He already left."
"Exactly!" Mickie states desperately. "Maria. Listen. He left you eleven times already. I bet you he's already flirting with some other girl right now like he always is. He left already. Sure he may come back but he will do it again just like he did the past Eleven Fucking Times. You need to say no."
"But… I can't."
"Why?" She presses me.
"I love him. I want to be with him. I don't want to let him go."
"Sweetie, he's messing with you. I don't know why he's doing this but I know you don't deserve it."
"I don't deserve what he's doing to me but I want to be with him. Sure, he flakes on me once every other week or so, but when we're together… I don't know it's like magic. Like we were made for each other."
"But what he does to you. Did anything happen to make him want to—"
"No!" I interrupt her. "We had sex last night. It was incredible. He was so in tune. It lasted until about three. I could tell by his face that he liked it. Nothing happened last night to make him want to leave."
"Maybe he was faking," She suggests.
"Micks, guys don't fake it. Especially not with the—"
"Nu-uh, Maria. Stop right there. I don't need to know all the exact details of your sex life with your dick of an ex-boyfriend."
There was a silence before I decide to ask, "Mickie?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think he'll be back?" I ask hopefully, my voice cracking. I know what she's thinking as I await her answer, but I want to hear what she tells me.
"He came back eleven times before didn't he?"
I agree with her, but I still wonder if maybe this time is different. Maybe he's
really left for good.
"I guess. I'll talk to you later, Micks." I say goodbye and click my phone off as the tears start to well up in my eyes. I head for the couch to watch The Notebook and have a good cry. I won't be proud of myself later, but right now, I need a this.
.:.
About a week later, I'm in my hotel room. I had seen Randy a few times this week. I left before he could see me. I couldn't bear that. You would think that after going through this eleven times, I would be used to it. Wrong. Each time he does this to me is just a new hash in my heart.
I just got back from a training session with Mickie so I decide to take a shower and clean myself up.
After my shower, I am about to get dressed when I hear a knock on the door. I readjust my towel before going to see who it is. I open the door to a bouquet of yellow tulips, my favorite, at eye level. I see the flowers lower to reveal a Randy Orton, looking like he just found out Charlotte died.
"I could open up a flower shop with all the bouquets I have," I comment.
"Who's giving you flowers?" He angrily asks me as he lowers the tulips so they are upside down at his side. It looks as if the stems with snap off with the pressure he has them.
"You are." I answer.
"I haven't given you flowers since—"
"Since you last decided to come back." His head drops. "Are you going to say anything?"
"Like?"
"Like an apology. This is the twelfth time you've put me through this, Randy, and it needs to stop."
"I know. You know I'm not used to being in a relationship. When we get too serious, I… I don't know. I just book."
"Well look where that's gotten you now." I tell him angrily, crossing my arms over my towel-clad chest.
"Do you think I want to keep leaving?"
"Sure seems like it."
"Wh—" His fists clench again as his anger flares again. He calms himself down with a few breaths. "Can I come in? I really don't want to discuss this in the hallway."
"Fine." I sigh. "Wait here while I change." I tell him as I grab my clothes that I had placed on the bed and walk into the hotel bathroom. I come out in a white T-shirt and dark purple cloth shorts. I see him sitting on my bed. I sit on the one opposite him and he gets up to sit next to me.
Randy grabs my hand and sandwiches it between his. "Look at me, Maria."
I shake my head. If I look into his eyes, I'll fall for it, I know I will. He sighs before starting.
"Maria, I've never been in a serious relationship. I'm not used to being comfortable around women. I…" He pauses, trying to find the right words. "I feel like I'm not good enough for you. You deserve someone who knows exactly what to say. Who can give you everything you want. Who is everything you've always imagined. Sometimes I don't feel like that guy is me. I want you to have what you want because you deserve it."
My hands start to tremble. Damn he's good. Why can't he just be an asshole so I can say no. I don't want to say no to him. But I can't keep doing this. I can't let him keep hurting me.
"Maria, please say something." Randy tells me, I hear his voice shaking from nerves. He caresses my jaw and turns my head so I'm looking into his deep grey eyes. Why was I mad again?
"Do you forgive me?" He asks me.
"Randy, you need to understand that you are everything that I want. If I didn't want you or to be with you, I wouldn't have spent the last year letting you frustrate me. I love you, but you can't keep doing this to me. One day I won't forgive you. You keep breaking my heart. I think if you break it again, it might not be able to be fixed."
Randy caresses my cheek and I lean into the touch. I always love the way he touches me.
"Can you give me a second chance?"
"I've given you eleven," I correct him.
"What's one more?" He gives me a little smile, but it's big enough to meet his eyes. He knows that's a look I can't refuse. He knows me too well.
"Randy." I groan as I lie down on the bed and cover my eyes with my forearm as I feel tears begin to well up. I feel him move so he is lying next to me and I protest as he brings my arm down.
"Maria. I want to be there for you. You have to let me. I love you. Forever and Always." I look into his eyes and see that he is speaking the truth.
I sigh lightly before whispering, "I forgive you."
I see his eyes light up and he leans in to kiss me. Just as his lips touch mine, I stop him.
"What?" He asks me wrinkling his forehead in confusion.
"I swear, if you do that to me again…" He stops my rambling with a sweet kiss.
"It won't happen again." He promises me as his hands slide up and begin to remove the shirt I just put on.
.:.
I breathe deeply as I lie sprawled out on the bed, the duvet barely covering my body.
"Randy." I groan in an exhale. My chest heaves as I turn to him. Randy has a smirk on his face that hints to a dimple in his cheek, the grey-blue of his eyes barely visible from the lust-driven dilation, which is receding as the flush leaves his face.
He turns to me when his breathing is under control and looks at me.
"You know I love you, right?" He asks me.
"Of course." I tell him. "And I love you too." I maneuver my way so I am closer to him and he wraps his arm around my waist. I pull the sheet up as my body cools down in comparison to my air-conditioned apartment. Randy adjusts so he is lying on his back and I rest my hand on his stomach and my head on his chest so I can listen to his heartbeat.
"You know our one-year anniversary is on Sunday." I inform him.
"Is it really?" He questions in disbelief.
"Yep. It'll be the 24th." I confirm.
"What a year…" I hear him whisper.
When I hear his heart rate come back down to normal, I disentangle myself from his embrace and return to my side of the bed. Not because I want to. But because I have to. I move quite a bit in my sleep and I don't need to be hurting any innocent bystanders. If I could, I would hold onto him and never let go. Because if I let go, he might leave again.
.:.
I open my eyes the next morning to see my alarm clock deriding me. 7:43. Too early. I turn over in my bed to find that I am alone. I sigh nervously as I look around for a remnant that he was still here. His clothes that were on the floor last night are missing. I listen for the shower but hear a reply of silence. I look to the bed side table that flanked the other side of my bed to see a note using the lamp as a kickstand.
Maria
I recognize his handwriting as the tears easily fill my eyes, blurring my vision, warning me.
I only need to read the next sentence to realize that he left me again. A sob cringes my shoulders as I turn over and try to muffle my sobs into my pillow. No one's here to see my like this but the echoes of my sobs in the empty house will mock me.
.:.
Normally, I would have seen him all week. But this week was different. I didn't see him at the house show. Or the next house show. Or the appearance. It was different. And I missed him. I do miss him.
I miss the way he would cuddle me and rub my back before I went to bed. I miss the way he would kiss me in the morning. And when he would call in the middle of the day to check up on me. He truly loved me. And I completely loved him with my being. Maybe that's why it hurt so much to see him go. Even though we've only been together for a year, he means the world to me. I hate to let him go. I guess that's why I take him back so easily. Because I feel whole again when he returns. He has a part of me with him that I can't live without—my heart.
A/N: So I was gonna make it a happy ending, have Randy come back again. But It seemed… better fit to have it end this way. I suppose if enough people want me to, I'll write a sequel or another chapter where they get back together. Maybe. But for now I am focusing on my other stories. I'm lagging. So here's Forever and Almost Always.(: If you want more Jackie then just go one my profile. There's oodles of me there! Have fun with your lives. Review! ily all! *heart emoticon* BTDubbz, this story was inspired by the song Forever and Almost Always by Kate Voegele. Great song! Look it up! Love it! Be happy!
PS: review! (: