A/N: A little something written in record time. Record time for me anyway. Nothing serious, just an extremely short ficlet I toyed with during History class while my professor droned on about America's quest of Expansionism towards the West and the whole shebang. The class would have been fascinating if he hadn't started ranting about spoiled produce on the market...
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ACQUISITION OF TEXAS
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"Give them to me, you big meany!"
"Dije que no!"
"You know what? I've had it with you! I offered you jalapenos, tequilas and even Chihuahuas and you still don't want to give them to me. This. Means. WAR!"
"Oh? I'd like to see you try, Americano hijo de puta!"
Alfred ran out into the dry dessert, picking up deadly weapons as he went and placing them on his horse before riding back to the Great River.
"This is your last warning! Give 'em up, México!"
"No. Tan sencillo como eso."
"Uh, yeah, that. Well, you asked for it! Charge!"
A legion of armed cowboys ride up to the 'Rio Grande' border, whooping and agitating their lassos and… throwing cactuses at the others.
"Okay, okay, stop! I give up! Here! …I don't need any more cactuses, thank you very much."
The Mexican threw something into the air, across the river, making it gleam in the severe sun. With a triumphant grin, America picked up the object and turned on his heels.
"Pleasure doing business with you!" America then slipped the item, a pair of spectacles, up the bridge of his nose. "Wow. I can actually see well." He then tapped his glasses with a grin. "Welcome home, Texas!"
Further up north, in Oregon, England popped up and shouted: "Bloody idiot! I still get Canada!"
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[END]
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Translations:
Dije que no! – I said no!
Americano hijo de puta. – American son of a bitch.
Tan sencillo como eso. – As easy as that.