He dreams, rather than hopes, that the beautiful roses he holds in his hands will say something she can finally really hear. But then they find her in the hospital corridor with a phone glued to hear ear and he knows, rather than suspects, who's she talking to. And the thought comes back to his mind, though circumstances are so much different…

Why am I here?

What am I even doing here?

He asks Oe-san to take a bouquet and uses some lame excuse about forgotten errand only to get a chance to run away.

He doesn't want to come back.

Ever.

It takes her some time,

Too much time, Kana thinks,

to realize Taichi's not there with the rest of the team. It seems strange and unnatural. So unexpected that she's not even sure how to ask what happened. In the end she doesn't ask. But the thought doesn't leave her mind for the rest of the afternoon, at least not until she starts watching the game between Arata and Shinobu-chan once again this evening.

Later on, falling asleep in slightly uncomfortable hospital bed, for a last conscious moment her tired sight lands on the roses Kana-chan gave her with a surprisingly sad face and some small comment about Taichi regretting he was not able to be here.

Where is he?

Why wasn't he here today?

Next day some of the visitors come back. She's trying to write poems when Kana-chan finds her in the hospital canteen. Sumire-chan is with her and Chihaya briefly wonders whether it's out of genuine care or just because her kouhai hoped to meet Taichi here. If the latter, then she's not the only one surprised he's absent. The more Chihaya thinks, the more she's confused. Should she be angry? Sad? Or maybe worried? Maybe something happened, something serious that would prevent him from spending time on visiting friends in hospital. In any other case what could have stopped him from being here? She had a surgery two days ago – maybe not life threating but for her, not being able to continue playing karuta was almost as being executed so in the end it was big, if not huge. So how is it possible that her best friend didn't even call, not to mention visit, to ask how she was?

- How the summer break going for everyone in the club? Are you practicing? – she asks knowing how stupid it sounds. They were here yesterday, she asked the same question. Maybe Sumire-chan won't care, but she can feel intense and suspicious stare Kana-chan is giving her.

- Me, Tsukue-kun and Nikuman-kun are spending few hours each day at our Society. I wish you could've seen yesterday's game they had! For a moment there I actually thought Tsukue-kun will win – Kana-chan says suddenly really excited. – In the end Nikuman-kun won only with 5 cards!

- That's really amazing! – Chihaya's impressed. She thinks how incredible the confidence boost is for a player who had just advanced to a higher class. She remembers her own fire when she got to class A. Then she looks to Sumire-chan and ask, maybe too shyly for her taste:

- And what about Shiranami Society, Sumire-chan? Have you visited them during summer break? – why is it so difficult to simply ask what she really wants to know?

- Yes! I have been there every day! – girl exclaims, visibly excited and somehow… with pride? Chihaya finds this even more amazing than Tsukue-kun's excellent form. – Yesterday I've managed to take one card from Harada-sensei! I couldn't believe that, senpai!

Chihaya smiles, seeing how such a small victory fires up a girl who only few weeks ago said she's not interested in karuta in the slightest. She remembers very clearly how amazing it felt for herself when she took her first card from her Sensei.

- And today I got to play with Mashima-senpai! – there it is. Without being aware of it, Sumire-chan is making Chihaya's heart skip a beat when the name she was afraid to say out loud is finally in the air. So he's been at Society? He's practicing? He's been there today, maybe still is there. Instead of being… here?

- He's so amazing! Everyone is impressed and the other day they even thrown a small party at Society for Mashima-senpai because his advancement to class A. He then said it was embarrassing but I think he was touched. I thought that after today's game he will come here with me, but he said he had some other things to do and… – Sumire is babbling, hard to say whether her words are meant for Chihaya, Kana or maybe just herself, but each sentence is doing something to Chihaya's breath and she feels as if sharp claws are closing around her throat.

- So he's fine and he's playing? – she asks with a voice so different, so stiff and serious that it shuts down Sumire right away. There is a silence no one knows how to break, but Kana feels she has to so she says:

- Prez seems to have a lot on his hands right now and he's trying really hard to use his momentum in karuta. It's a good thing he doesn't let go even if he finally reached his goal and advanced, don't you think, Chihaya-chan?

With karuta being mentioned, Chihaya somehow comes back from her initial shock and quickly tells herself that she would probably do the same – use every spare minute for practice and not wasting it for travelling around the city to visit someone who's in a perfect shape and will be released from the hospital tomorrow.

Except…

Taichi is not like me, he's never selfish, he's never putting himself on the first place…

- So, Chihaya-chan, what are you working on? – Kana asks pointing at one of the cards on the table, clearly wanting to change the topic.

After another half of hour her friends are leaving, but when they are by canteen's door, Kana-chan suddenly turns around and after saying something to Sumire, comes back for a moment to Chihaya's table.

- Chihaya-chan… I think you should call him and ask yourself. You cannot expect he will always reach out first – Kana says looking her right in the eye. Before Chihaya manages to answer, her friend is back at the door waving her goodbyes.

Long after her leave, Chihaya still doesn't have an answer, but on the other hand it wasn't a question, so maybe that's why there's no good reply.

Next day, finally she decides to give him a call. No biggie, she says out loud, to give herself some courage. She thinks about that time when she first called Arata. Of course she was nervous back then – after not having any contact for so long, it was exciting and scary and so difficult all at once. But this is nothing like that. It's Taichi. It's like calling a family member, she tries to convince herself.

It takes him six signals

not enough to give up on reaching him, just enough to feel like her call is unwanted

to finally pick up.

- Hello – she hears it right away, the indifference in his tone. It freezes her and all the thoughts about being casual as with nothing more than family member are long gone.

- H-hello – she stutters and after taking deep breath, she almost yells. – Hi Taichi! It's Chihaya – and immediately she thinks how stupid it is to introduce herself, like he didn't have her number and wasn't already aware when picking up the phone, who's on the other side.

- Hey, Chihaya. How are you? – he asks and even though he doesn't sound very genuine, she decides to go for it.

- I'm fine actually. I'm still in the hospital, but they are releasing me today in the afternoon. I still have those stiches and won't be able to play for some time, but they told me now my bone is strengthened and I can use my hand freely.

- It's good to hear – he says and there's this silence full of unasked questions and unsaid answers.

Taichi… Taichi? What is wrong with you? What is wrong with us?

And maybe for him it is also at least slightly uncomfortable because finally he's speaking again:

- I've heard from Oe-san that you were working on your homework. I mean the poems. Good that you could use this time productively…

- Ah, yes, definitely. Especially since, knowing me, the minute they release me I will go back to spending all my time on karuta so no chance for anything homework related – she forces a laugh and wonders how within only few days casual and effortless relationship they shared for years has turned into something so stiff and constrained.

- I thought your doctor forbid you to plan karuta for few more weeks – he says suddenly and there it is. She clearly hears concern in his voice. So whoever this stranger on the other side is, he still have Taichi buried deep down inside.

- I wasn't talking about playing actively. But I will definitely go to Shiranami Society to watch all of you play – and then she adds, hoping to bring some humor to their discussion. – You know, Taichi, now you're my rival and I need to look closely at your progress to not get surprised next time we meet in an individual tournament.

And then, again, only silence responds. She waits few more seconds because clearly it's his turn to say something. Anything. It can even be about this silly homework. Just…

Say something!

- Yeah, well, I guess you're right – he's tone is so flat she's completely unable to tell what's hiding behind those indifferent words. If only she could see his face, see what she cannot hear.

- Say, Taichi, are you going to be at Society tomorrow? Because I was thinking maybe we could then meet. You didn't come to the hospital, so it's been awhile…

- Yeah, sorry about that. I was kinda busy with homework, matches and everything… - it's like he's not even trying to come up with some sensible lie.

- I understand… Then, what about tomorrow? – she tries once again, feeling that he's deliberately avoiding any sort of promises or planning.

- I don't know for sure… I suppose I will be at Society in the afternoon. Not sure when exactly…

- Afternoon works perfect for me! – Chihaya exclaims. At this point if he were to tell her he was planning to go there at midnight, she would gladly go with it. – OK then, see you there!

And she hangs up not even waiting for his reply. She's almost sure that if she gave him the time to answer, he would come up with some implausible excuse that would prevent them from meeting. But now it should be good. She'll go there at noon, just to be sure not to miss him. They'll meet and she will make everything better, she will fix this. She has no idea on how to do that but she's more than sure it's doable as long as they are standing face to face. In the end he's like a family and her experience with family is that even if you're not talking to each other, it usually takes for one person to say "I'm sorry" and then everything goes back to as it was before. Of course she doesn't have even the slightest idea why she should apologize to Taichi, but she doesn't really care. The important part is to make up and have him back to normal.

Next day she's at Karuta Shiranami Society two minutes before noon. Just in case.

First person who greats her is Harada-sensei. First, he congratulates her winning at team tournament in Omi Jingu. Secondly, he scolds her for jeopardizing her health by taking part in individual tournament with injured hand. Thirdly, he asks about her operation, how is she and how soon can she go back to playing safely. She's touched and grateful and wonders why all of those things are coming from her Sensei, instead of her best friend.

When he's done, she simply asks:

- Say, Harada-sensei, is Taichi here already?

- Matsuge-kun? He left, not even an hour ago – her Sensei replies simply, but seeing her surprised and somehow disappointed face, he adds:

- He was here in the morning, but said that today he had time for only one match. He mentioned there's something he has to take care of in the afternoon.

It's as simple as that. Yet Chihaya's stunned and there are no words she can find to answer her Sensei.

- Don't worry, Chihaya-chan – he says lightly. – Matsuge-kun is here every day, I'm sure you'll see him tomorrow. In the meantime you should watch some matches. I'm sure you're dying to be on tatami after so many days away from karuta – he laughs and rushes her into one of the rooms.

They call her airheaded. They call her oblivious. Sometime even dense.

And maybe she is. All of those things at once.

But no matter how slow she can sometimes be, she finally sees things as they really are.

Taichi is avoiding her. Actively. Deliberately. Completely on purpose.