DISCLAIMER (Read by Kevin Stoley): The following is a fan-based parody, South Park, South Park: The Stick of Truth, and South Park: The Fractured But Whole are owned by Matt Stone, Trey Parker, and South Park Studios. Please support the official release.

"They take our attacks like it's nothing! They're wearing bicycle helmets!" Said Thelspar the Theif.

"T-T-They've t-t-taken the kingdom!" Said Jimmy the Bard.

"WHERE'S THE KING?!" Said Kyle, the High Jew Elf.

The moorish were attacking the Kingdom of Kupa Keep, the allied forces of the humans and the elves were trying to defend the Stick of Truth, which had been thrown into the depths of Stark's Pond the evening before. Meanwhile, the king they were talking about was taking a crap. Dovahkiin, known to his new friends in South Park as King Doucebag, was reflecting on the past few days.

"Jesus, these last few days have really been crazy." Said Dovahkiin, "I get into a LARP game, I sneak into a top secret government base disguised as a Taco Bell, I perform an abortion on a man, kill Nazi Zombies, go up a gay man's ass, and stop a snuke from destroying the town. Oh, and I fight a Nazi Zombie version of my friend, who is dressed up as a princess, and can't die."

Dovahkiin then went out and found his parents argueing. He knew they had been fighting, even though they tried to avoid fighting in front of him at all costs. They would always argue, and Dad would go smoke some pot, and Mom would drink wine. This was why he didn't stay home often. He went to the door, and found the High Jew Elf, Kyle, and his first friend in South Park, Paladin Butters standing outside.

"NEW KID! THE MOORISH ARE ATTACKING!" Said the High Jew Elf.

"You gotta come save us!" Said Paladin Butters.

After a fight with the Moorish, Dovahkiin came to Cartman's front door, only to find red LEGO bricks scattered all over the front steps.

"Halt! You cannot pass here! It is lava!" Said a Moorish guard.

"Well, now what?" Said Dovahkiin.

"Now you die! Release the dragon!" Said another Moorish Guard.

"Really? A god damn dragon?" Said Dovahkiin.

After the dragon battle, in which Dovahkiin summoned a giant hammer to kill the dragon, he hopped onto Paladin Butters' garage roof, and into Kupa Keep, there he saw the leader of the Moorish, Kevin Stoley, who he didn't expect to see playing this, as he was a Sci-Fi fan.

"Where's the stick?" Said Kevin.

"I told you, the Wizard King threw it into the ocean!" Said the Bard.

"Not so fast!" Said Dovahkiin, "We are here to stop you once and for all! Once the Wizard King come, and, hey... Where is Cartman?"

"Yeah, where is Fatass?" Said the High Jew Elf.

All of a sudden, someone leaped down, Dovahkiin could see it was Cartman, wearing some kind of raccoon outfit. Cartman was wearing his Coon costume, and holding a missing poster.

"There you are!" Said Kevin, "Where is the Stick of Truth?"

"Shut up Kevin." Said Cartman, "In my time, there is a crime wave, and cats are missing."

"Dude, we are done with superheroes." Said the High Jew Elf.

"Oh really Kyle," Said The Coon, "Do you want to get the $100 reward, or do you want those god damn sellouts Freedom Pals to get it?!"

"Fuck the Freedom Pals man." Said Kyle.

"Oh yeah, you guys can't play with us anymore, we're playing superheroes now." Said The Coon.

Dovahkiin couldn't believe it, he wasn't King Douchebag anymore, he was just an ordinary kid. Well, a kid with fart powers. He saw that Cartman had equipped his basement door with an electronic lock. He needed to find th code, so he found the code in a notebook Cartman kept hidden in his room. The code was 307. He put it in, and of course, the code had insulted his mother as well. He opened the door to see a number of costumed superheroes talking.

"What the hell?" Said Dovahkiin.

Well guys, welcome to my novelization of the new South Park game! I just finished playing thought it, and though I'd make a novelization of it. Give me what you think of this fanfic down in the review section. The disclaimer at the beginning is a reference to Dragon Ball Z Abridged. Remember to follow, share, like, and review. This is SMG4's SuperFan, signing out.