Once upon a time, there was a little ogre named Scott who lived with his parents in a bog by a tree. It was a pretty nasty place, but he was happy, 'cause ogres like nasty. On his seventh birthday, the little ogre's parents sat him down to talk, just as all ogre parents had for hundreds of years before.
Mother: Listen son, you're growing up so quickly
Growing up bigger by the day
Father: Although we want you here, the rules are very clear
Mother: Now you're seven
Father: Now you're seven
Both: So it's time...
...to go away!
Father: Your mama packed a sandwich for your trip
Mother: Your papa packed your boots in case of snow
Both: You're gonna make us proud
No backing up allowed!
Mother: Just keep walking
Father: Just keep walking
Both: And you'll find somewhere to go
It's a big, bright, beautiful world
With happiness all around
It's peaches and cream
And every dream comes true
...but not for you!
It's a big, bright, beautiful world
With possibilities everywhere
And just around the bend, there's a friend or two
But not for you!
Mother: We're ugly, son
Which means that life is harder
People hate the things they cannot understand
Father: And when they look at us, they tend to make a fuss
Mother: Burn our houses down
Both: And chase us off our land
Father: It's important that you find a cozy cesspit
Mother: A place no one would ever dare to tread
Both: And if they happen by, make sure you terrify them
Mother: If you don't son
Father: If you don't son
Both: Then you'll surely wind up dead
Scott took all of his belongings in a small bag and left the bog for good.
Mother: Goodbye!
Father: Goodbye!
Mother: Watch out for men with pitchforks!
And so, the little ogre went off and found a muddy patch of swampland far, far away from the world that despised him. And there he stayed for many years, tucked away and all alone, which was just the way he liked it!
Scott: Keep your big, bright, beautiful world!
I'm happy where I am, all alone
I got all I need, so read the stinkin' sign!
Keep your big, bright, beautiful world!
I party on my own, anyway
Doing what I can with a one-man conga line
Yeah, your big, bright, beautiful world is all teddy bears and unicorns
Take your fluffy fun and shove it where the sun goes down!
I prefer a life like this, it's not that complicated
Sure I'm fated to be lonely and I'm destined to be hated
If you read the books, they say it's why I was created
But I don't care
'Cause being liked...
...is grossly overrated!
Who needs a big, bright, beautiful world?
I've got my own little patch of the world
It's not a big, bright, beautiful world...
...but it's mine!
Alone, it's mine!
And it's mine!
All mine!