Ani: Okay, so this didn't turn out exactly as I'd intended it to, but that's okay. I'm not even sure if I like it, but whatever. So, if I happen to post another fic that starts out similarly to this one, it's just me trying to get my original thought out. I blame my muse.
Icy: Nice, placing all the blame on me.
Ani: Kiss my butt. Anyway, enjoy the strangeness.
Because Sora is never alone.
He's never alone, clawing at the walls of his false sanctuary, waiting for someone to save him for once, not the other way around. He's never alone, when he's rocking back and forth, calling out for Riku, Kairi, Riku, Kai – Riku, Riku, Riku. He's never alone, because there are hands touching his face, and lips pressing against his own. Someone's wrapping his arms around his body in the dark, and holding him close. Someone who knows the darkness the way he does – with all its pain and emptiness and hollow beauty. He feels like his eyes are bleeding black tears, because he can only see black, unless he's seeing blue. Blue eyes far too similar to his own.
"Sora?"
"I'm Sora," he whimpers weakly. The arms rest lightly around his shoulders.
"I know." Gently, fingers stroke his cheek, just like…
"Just like he used to."
"Sora, I think I'm in love with you."
He laughs, but there's no light left in it.
"You can't be in love with me. You are me. Almost."
"Maybe that's true. Maybe we are the same person." A blond head rests against his own brunette locks. "But I love you anyway."
"But you're nobody. You're my nobody. You can't love me. That's like loving a mirror."
"Are you sure about that?"
"What?" But there is a frantic pressing of lips to another's, and they taste exactly the same. The taste of a wilting flower. He doesn't stop the desperate tongue, the wandering hands. He just tilts his head to the side and takes all that nothing can provide.
"Have you ever heard of Narcissus, Sora? He fell in love with his reflection. Trying to reach the beautiful face in the water, he drowned."
"Is that's what's happening, Roxas? Am I drowning in you?"
The hands pause. Roxas slowly reaches up to cup a smooth cheek, wiping away black tears. "You haven't drowned yet Sora. Something's holding you back."
"Riku." Sora presses his hands to the sides of his head, but he can't quite recover the image of his silver-haired friend. The one weed that tied around his ankle and refused to let him go, and for that he was grateful. He didn't want to slip into the water. "But what's holding you back?"
"Nothing's holding me back. I am nothing. Something can't hold back nothing."
"Roxas."
Their eyes truly meet for the first time, and Sora sees how much brighter Roxas's eyes are compared to his own.
"Roxas, I'm the image in the water."
A sharp intake of breath.
"I think you're Narcissus."
----
"Sora, are you all right? You seem a bit depressed lately."
Sora cocks his head to the side at the sound of Riku's voice and grins at him.
"Don't worry. Nothing can keep me down for too long!" He flashes another one of his trademark smiles, but the aqua eyes refuse to smile back. "Riku?"
"No. That's where you're wrong," Riku quietly says. "Nothing has been keeping you down for far too long."
Sora's grin slips off his face and into the water. "What do you mean?"
Riku doesn't answer him, but pulls him into a breathless kiss. Sora responds eagerly. Riku notices the brightness in his eyes. And maybe it was just the angle of the setting sun, but Sora's hair looks blonder than usual. So when he pulls back, he knows who he's truly talking to.
"Pull him out," he whispers into Roxas's ear. "Or you will be plucked ruthlessly, my dear flower."
"But I'm Sora," Roxas insists. But Riku simply glares coldly and walks in the other direction.
----
Because Roxas is never alone.
He's never alone, clawing at the walls of his false sanctuary, waiting for someone to unlock the doors and let him out. He's never alone, calling out for that damned voice to just shut up for once, while he's calling for Riku, Axel, Ri – Axel, Axel, Axel. He's never alone, because there are hands clawing at his face and arms, begging and pleading. Someone's tearing at his clothes, holding him back. Someone who knows the loneliness like he does – with all its pain and emptiness and hollow beauty. He feels like his eyes are bleeding blue tears, because he can only see blue, unless he's seeing black. Black hate far too similar to his own.
"Roxas!"
"I'm Sora," he whimpers weakly. The hands persist at their beating.
"No you're not." Fingers tightly grip his arms, just like…
"Just like he used to."
"Roxas, I think you're in love with me. But you can't."
He laughs, but there's no light left in it.
"I can't be in love with you. I am you. Almost. And I love Riku."
"You think you love Riku. But you don't. You love me." A brunette head is resting against his blond, and they can both feel the throbbing headache. "And maybe someone else."
"But that's not right. I'm Sora. You're my nobody. You're pretending to love Riku."
"Are you sure about that?"
"What?" But there is a desperate scraping at the flesh, and they both bleed the same. The color of a wilting flower. He doesn't stop the angry nails, the free-flying pain. He just tilts his head to the side and takes all that everything can provide.
"Have you ever heard of Narcissus, Roxas? He fell in love with his reflection. Trying to reach the beautiful face in the water, he drowned."
"Is that's what's happening, Sora? Am I drowning in you?"
The hands pause. Sora slowly reaches up to cup a smooth cheek, roughly wiping away blue tears. "Yes. You're drowning Roxas. In me."
"Riku." Roxas presses his hands to the sides of his head, but he can't quite recover the image of his silver-haired lover. The one weed that tied around his ankle and refused to let him go has red hair, not silver. He didn't want to slip into the water. "But what's holding me back?"
"I'm holding you back. You are nothing. But you are me."
"Sora."
Their eyes truly meet for the first time, and Roxas sees how much brighter Sora's eyes are compared to his own when they see the truth behind it.
"Sora, there is no Narcissus."
A sharp intake of breath.
"We're both the image in the water."
"No, Roxas. We're both Narcissus. Because we need those images in the water. We're seeing each other from opposite sides of the lake."
----
"Sora. Are you all right?"
Sora cocks his head to the side at the sound of Riku's voice and looks at him weakly.
"Don't worry. I think a found the fault in our flower." He looks away, but the aqua eyes refuse to lose his gaze. "Riku?"
"No. That's where you're wrong," Riku quietly says. "There was no fault. Just a mistake."
Sora's confused, and his face reveals that. "What do you mean?"
Riku doesn't answer him, but pulls him into a breathless kiss. Sora responds slowly, but he's soon holding on for dear life. Riku notices the brightness in his eyes. And maybe it was just the angle of the setting sun, but Sora's hair looks darker than usual. So when he pulls back, he knows who he's truly talking to.
"I'm glad," he whispers into Sora's ear. "I'm glad you found the mistake."
"But it's not gone," Sora insists. But Riku simply smiles and kisses him again.
So Sora and Roxas are never alone. Because they will forever stare at the images in the lake, pulling the other back, until they fall in together. And that's weeds will tie around their ankles, and refuse to let go. And their cycle will continue.
Because Sora will never be alone while Roxas watches hungrily in the dark.
Because Roxas will never be alone while Sora relentlessly fights back.