Title: Shampoo
Summary: As Jack prepares to clean up he remembers something else he still has to clean up. Jate. Drabble/one-shot. Spoilers for "The Whole Truth".
Disclaimer: Lost is owned by J.J. Abrams and Co. at ABC.
He was sure the water would be cold. As he watched it run down the drain, he tried to detect the water's smell, but something told him he didn't want to know. Then suddenly..
"It smells a little like sulfur."
Jack looked up, handed rested on the shower rod above. A single bottle of shampoo sat on a shelf. It was new, and Jack was certain that the last person who used it was..Kate. Stepping into the shower and closing the glass door behind him, Jack picked up the bottle, ignoring the rushing water at his feet.
"I saved you some shampoo."
Remembering the phrase he shivered. That day he felt slightly betrayed at Kate for using the supplies, but only for a second. He'd seen a beauty in her that day that he'd never seen in her..nerves. She was nervous to see him. And that's when the betrayal stopped. Because Jack was just as nervous to see her, just as taken by her beauty, by the tension that eased between them..
And then just a few days later they kissed. Jack closed his eyes. Then Kate ran. Since then Jack had only talked to her on vital occasions, though he was well aware of her presence. He'd watch her from across the beach, just hoping she'd turn around, catch his eye, and smile. Like she used to do. But now..now things were different. Things were distant, but no longer distant, so to say, as they had been a few weeks ago. Trust was earned, yes, but trust was also taken away. Jack had to refrain from smashing his fist against the hard walls, thrusting the shampoo bottle across the room at the thought of his mistake. Because that would only mean throwing part of Kate away too. They were already too far apart. And he missed her.
And so when he finally remembered where he was, that there were people waiting for him, and that very little time could be spent wishing on fallen stars, Jack turned the water on full blast, letting it run down his neck and cease the tension there.
But the thing was, he really didn't want to think of Kate as a fallen star. She was just a star that was slowly orbiting away, and if the energy wasn't picked up, she'd burst, becoming nothing but another thing in the universe. Something out of reach, something fading away. Something that teased you, inching closer before pulling back away, poking fun at your emotions. But he didn't want it to be like that. This relationship could work, he knew it. He knew it because of the chemistry between them, the tension, and yet the comforting ease, all there at once. The variables all added up. Everything was set. Now the equation just needed to be solved. And it could be. He knew it. He deserved it. Kate deserved it. And it exhaust him to think of their fears, the pushing and pulling of the numbers, signs, everything that stopped them from becoming one. The final solution.
A promise came to mind then, that after he cleaned up he'd see Kate and talk to her. Exchange comments, smiles, and maybe- just maybe- squeeze in an apology. Then again, how many times had he made himself that same promise?
But looking down at the shampoo bottle in his hands, water trickling down it in calming drops, Jack remembered what they had only days ago- a friendship. And at least that was something.
Just then, something unexacting happened. The water turned warm, almost at a burning heat. And Jack laughed, giving out an ironic snort, because the water wasn't cold at all. Another sign, he figured, another number. Maybe things wouldn't be that difficult after all.
Realizing his time was running short, Jack kept his promise in mind while he took a deep breath, and set the shampoo bottle back on the shelf.