Good Things Come to Those Who Act on Wishes
She looked at herself one last time in the mirror and smiled in satisfaction. She looked good, if she said so herself. Her golden hair was pulled together into a neat chinese bun, decorated with a tiny blue flower, and with a set of locks hugging her face, her bright blue eyes shining with excitement. Black lace hugged her chest and continued down into a dark blue pencil skirt, showing off her long tonned legs and black heals adorning her tiny feet. There was a scent of mint and oranges floating around her, the subtle perfume having an inviting effect on anyone smelling it. Currently, it was only her, but she would be soon walking through a crowd of people and smelling her best was vital.
She chuckled to herself, placing a hand to her blushing cheek. ''Oh, Kami… I'm being so silly.''
She couldn't really remember when was the last time she felt so excited. At least in the area of romance. She had been very successfull when it came to her career, but her personal affairs had been a little dry as of for a few years now. Because of mentioned successfull career. Perhaps, now came the time for her to be successfull at both? Who knew? She'd know very soon.
She took a look at her watch. There was still some time left. She liked to be early. She moved away from her mirror and walked into her kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. She almost danced into the open room, humming her favourite song while grinning from ear to ear. To think that her boss would make her smile that hard… No one would have believed her two years ago. She wouldn't have believed it. She would have laughed histerically at the person who'd have said this and suggest mental health. Because she and her boss did not start out in a very good way. At all. If anything, the day they met, the apocalipse had begun – for them and specially for everyone working with them. An exchange of exactly ten sentences was enough for them to be in each other's hair and it stayed that way whenever they got in contact with each other – and that had been every day since.
It had been a Monday morning when Natsu Dragneel started working as the new boss of the Fairy Tail CEO financial department. In the past eight years, Mr Dragneel had come from a position of a sale's manager to an Accountant, then to a position of a Manager for Financial Services, to the Financial Manager, and finally rose to the position of the Financial Direktor. He'd had half a year of practice already, but it had been mostly with the previous director himself. The majority in the financial department had known the man, some by face, some only by name, and Lucy Heartfilia had been one of the latter. The reason for that is that Lucy's career had been a bit more complicated. As one of the top students of the University of Management and Finances, she had been asked to join the Fairy Tail CEO right after she had received her degree. Before she joined, she had put her own coins into a stock market thing and almost broke the market. Her unusual, almost bordering on genius, knowledge with numbers and combinations turned her into a very wanted person by any respecting marketing company in Asia. However, she had decided to build her career in Fairy Tail. She started out as one of the finance assistants for sale and once again proved that when it came to selling, she was unbeatable. To put it simply, she felt bored after three years and changed to the marketing department, putting together her own team and own branch. She did many projects with different departments at the same time, and so it just so happened, that the CEO's financial depratment got a new director, who, in that aspect, would also be her director, her boss. It could have easily been her on that seat, everyone was aware of that, but she chose a more interesting path, knowing very well that her success would mean nothing if she were disrespected by her coworkers. And that would have happend because of a simple reason – she's a woman. It might be the 21st century and women might go for any position they wanted, but that didn't mean the asian culture was any closer to modernisation than it was centuries ago – at least in the gender equality aspect.
So, on that Morning, two years ago, eight years since both joined the company, Lucy Heartfilia and Natsu Dragneel had met. It was as if the lightning illuminated them both when their eyes met, and their strong characters faced each other. They had shaken hands with a polite smile, exchanged a sentence of greeting with introduction and then proceeded to talk about their co-operation. It was all good until they exchanged project ideas. But when they came to talking about the work approach – now that's when the clash had happened. It were just a few strained sentences at first, polite but obviously unagreeable. When neither side didn't back off, they started the attack strategy by raising their voice and losing the strained smile. A minute later, they were both full on yelling at each other – not insulting each other, simply screaming their arguments. And the first week had been terrifying for the whole department because the two of them were obviously alergic to each other. Three months into the arguing but successfull co-operation, and not to mention the splendid results, the department had to start hiding the giggles and keep down the jokes, because Lucy's and Natsu's communication turned into quite a spectacle every time they had to discuss anything related to a project. However, half a year into their screaming, the giggles turned into rolling eyes and tired sighs, with fingers pushed into ears and painful groans leaving anyone's mouth as soon as those two came in sight.
''I swear to Kami I will throtle him one day!'' were Lucy's usual threats as Mr Dragneel was out of earshoot. Nevertheless, she did as they had agreed they would do. Natsu hadn't been any better. On one occasion, he became so frustrated by her argumentation that he locked himself into the toilet cabeen and screamed. His co-workers had pretended they hadn't heard him, while Lucy was obliviously in another meeting, getting ready for another project.
More than a half a year ago, however, the usual argument went in a different way.
''-the numbers would be all wrong! We need to hit the second degree target instead!'' Natsu Dragneel had been yelling, while shaking papers in front of Lucy's annoyed face. The two of them and a few managers were having a meeting in Natsu's office, discussing the best approach for targeting new clients. Lucy had been the only woman in this group, and therefore didn't get more than amused chuckles from the manager whenever she pointed something out. Dragneel was the only one taking her seriously and was therefore arguing her like a lion. Lucy finally threw her hands in the air, frustrated by the meeting, by the machistic managers and by her boss. ''I will show you the calculations and the statistic I made yesterday! Just think this through, for Kami-sama's sake!'' then she had walked out of the office to print out what she needed to prove her point.
''She's got spirit.'' Gajeel Redfox chuckled, being one of the rare ones who actually agreed with her. The other managers agreed, making Natsu roll his eyes. He didn't say much while Lucy was away, but instead, he had to listen to his co-workers' comments about Lucy. Dragneel had a policy to never discuss a topic he and his co-worker worked on if the co-worker wasn't in the room – in this case Lucy – because that would be stupid, knowing he needed the co-worker to work with any way. Another thing he refused to do is mix unprofessional with professional, and the lads he was sitting with seemed to have forgoten that. And all their good upbringing.
''She seems to be the loud type.'' Laxus Dreyar threw in, laughing at his own perverted joke. Natsu didn't even get the chance to voice his outrage, when the others started agreeing and discusing manly things. And while all this was happening, Lucy just happened to be standing in front of the closed door, having stopped in her tracks when she had heard the comments. ''I'd like her more if she talked less and showed more.'' The Dreyar chuckled lowly, giving away his perverted mind, and Lucy felt chills of disgust and horror run down her back. She felt her expression turn into a spitefull grimace and was ready to barge into the office and acuse them of sexual harrasment, when Natsu had finally spoken up. ''Why?'' had been his innocent question. ''She's very competent and very hard working. She brings the best results. And only because I know she's not interested in the director's seat, I'm not concerned about my position. She'd easily kick me out if she wanted to. I can easily argue that no one can compare to her in this building.''
There was an awkward silence and Lucy couldn't help but blink at what she had heard. With surprize all over her face she had stared at the door, awed by what her constant fighting partner said. She made a few steps back, completely in disbelief, cluching the papers to her chest.
''I would watch out, Dreyar. She might be a woman in a man's world, but that might be reason enough for you to be very careful around her. Specially what you say. In the end, we're all about making results, and not what sex made the results.'' Dragneel had said lightly, but Lucy could hear the subtle threat in his voice, reminding his coworkers that this were not the middle ages anymore, and that they should behave accordingly – respectful, regardles of gender.
That had been the day, she started looking at her boss with more respectfull eyes. And as she had entered the meeting again, a few minutes later, just to allow the men to settle into serious mode again, pretending she hadn't heard anything, she threw herself into another argument about her being right and Dragneel being half right. She had won of course, and Natsu had to give it to her that she's good at what she doing.
And for the first time since they've known each other, Lucy had smiled at him. Not smirked, not grimaced. But smiled. In that slow, teet-showing way that brightened her eyes. In all his embarresment, Natsu Dragneel went mute for a moment, unable to utter anything, too awed by the sudden sunshine revealed in Lucy. She had walked past him them, a scent of oranges floating behind her, and the man couldn't help but lean towards her, as if tied to her hand and forced to follow her. Of course he had stopped the second he noticed what he was doing, but his shock didn't go unnoticed by Lucy who was bathing in her victory and pleasure of being defended by someone of Natsu's position. The thrill of arguing with him changed into something more, and it seemed she hadn't been the only one feeling it. Since then, their arguments have turned into something different. Still loud, still very heated, and for the most part, still very annoying for an outsider; but there was this – this new thing in the air, between them. A chalenge of another sort – tension, threatening to explode into something far less innocent thant the everyday banter, and far less professional than it was acceptable.
Lucy made the first move. The same as in her professional life, she liked to take thing in her own hands. Although, she was more careful in this situation. Sexual tension or not, he was the financial director, and she was a project leader, technically working for him. Mixing her job with her personal life was dangerous. So what she did was nothing she really planed. It happened on its own.
''-I get what you're trying to say, but if we take this approach, it will take longer!'' Natsu had yelled in frustration once more, papers flying as he tried to persuade Lucy he was right. Lucy had been stading opposite him, tapping her foot impatiently, while having her arms crossed, groaning in annoyance. ''It will only take a few days longer! In the long run, it doesn't really matter, because the safest would be doing it like this! You can make those phone calls if you want to, sign the papers, if you must, but if the numbers don't come together as they should, our loss will be bigger than last year! Why risking it if we have a perfectly safe and 100% guarantee succesfull way to do it?'' she had raged, making everyone in the open office where they were currently fighting flinch in fear. Lucy may not be the boss officially, but everyone knew that when it comes down to it, she was the one leading this whole company into success. No one could deny it.
Natsu pressed his lips togehter, sighing. His shoulders fell as he gave up, knowing she was right again. Now, usually, Lucy would have harumphed and walked away, but this time, as she had done on very rare occasions in the previous weeks, her lips slowly pulled into a happy smile, her dark eyes catching his. He opened his mouth to say something, but he seemed to have turned speechless. Lucy didn't want to seem weird and unprofessional, so she didn't stare at him for long. She had turned around with a soft chuckle and made her way to her desk, where she proceeded to work. Like a cheeky teenager, she had secretly glanced his way, noticing the confussion on his face, the awe in his expression. He had scratched the back of his neck and turned around to walk back into his office. This little situation didn't go unnoticed by the rest of their coworkers, but no one dared to say anything while the two of them were still in the office. The rumour mill would be working on full speed as soon as the majority would be out of the office. However, Lucy and Natsu didn't give them much to talk about after that. They would have if people stayed at the office longer or if they vitnessed their disputes in Natsu's office, but they didn't, so most of it stayed a secret.
Well, secret… It's not like they were purposly hiding anything. There wasn't anything to hide in the first place. However, the thing was that their arguments had changed. They weren't any less loud or any less frustrating, the way they ended, however, wasn't the same anymore. Rarely did it happen now that one of them threw their hands up in frustration, walking away. Mostly, it simply calmed down with one of them sighing or one of them playfully glaring at the other, while the other smirked in content. Then, a few weeks ago, Lucy had made the grand step.
''-I just don't understand where we should put this part then? We sign the contract, have the product done and send it over. Why bothering with-''
''No. Wait. Look.'' Lucy had interrupted her boss, resting her hand on her front head, massaging a spot at the side. She glanced at the papers in her hand, then at her watch and groaned. ''All right. Let's do this after lunch. I'm terribly hungry and I can't concentrate.'' She had suggested, walking back to her desk and placing her papers back into the folder. ''Or we could discuss this during lunch.'' She casually threw in and only the moment of tense silence was an indication that this might not have been as innocent as it seemed. Mr Dragneel had shrugged, grabbing his jacket from his office, and walked out with her to the company's canteen… Where they continued to argue while eating Ramen. People looked at them as if they were crazy and bipolar, but mostly they were just entertained by the new scenarios the two offered. ''I'm jhus' sayn' ish no' poffibl'!'' Natsu had munched at his food and was talking at the same time, and Lucy didn't seem to care. She had simply rolled her eyes and handed him a napkin. ''Of course it is.'' She started, then proceeded to explain. In the meantime, Natsu purred her more juice and handed her the soya sauce when she asked for it.
It had been the first of many times the two of them went to lunch together, behaving like an old married couple, arguing about this and that. Of course this and that was always work related, but the sight was still amusing.
And finally, last week, it had been Natsu Dragneel who made the next step. It came as a surprise if she was honest. She didn't really expect him to do anything. She didn't really expect anything out of this. It had been a nice thing, whatever it was between them – love/hate work relationship if you must, that entertained her during her otherwise uneventful life, and it gave her a very pleasant feeling of having the abbility to make someone speachless and perhaps gain his interest in a work-unrelated way. But honestly, she didn't really think anything would come out of it. But then the man went and finished work the same time she did. Which of course wasn't weird, but then…
So they were walking down the stairs, chatting, surprisingly in a very normal way, when Natsu Dragneel cleared his throat. Lucy wouldn't have thought anything of it if the man hadn't started staring at his shoes. True, it had been for less than five seconds, but for a man like Dragneel, who had the ego and the confidence of a dragon fighter, that seemed a little odd. Then he had looked at her in that casual way and opened the door for her to walk out of the building first. They had stopped in front of it to continue chatting.
''Next week it's the annual charity ball. Want to go together?''
Lucy paused for a second, looking up at him, a seemingly casual smile on his face. But then she noticed his hands deep in his pockets, his shoulders hunched a little, and a tinge of nervousness dancing around his lips, and she coudln't help but feel her chest cluching and warmth spreading through her lungs, making her take a deep breath. She smiled. ''Of course. That would be nice.''
Natsu baunced on his heals back and forth, his nervous smile growing into a happy grinn. ''Yeah?'' He sucked in breath and chuckled. ''All right. Good. What time would you like to meet? I have an early business dinner that afternoon, but it won't take long.''
Lucy giggled softly, looking at him from under her eyelashes. ''We can always agree on the time and place on that day. It's still a week. But if you want, we can meet there at the entrance.'' She looked to the side for a moment then back at him, a little embarrassed. ''Or you can call me once you're ready and pick me up from my place.''
Natsu's eyes started to shine a little brighter, and his smile seemed a little wider, when he nodded, scratching the back of his neck. ''Yeah. I could pick you up.''
After a moment of awkward silence and stiffled nervous giggles that would be more appropriate for innocent teenagers than adults with the number three as the first number in their age number, they finally exchanged a few other details about the annual ball, and finally said goodbye for the day. ''Then, see you tomorrow.'' Lucy smiled, then once again gathered her courage, and stepped closer, giving him a gentle hug with a touch of a kiss on his cheek. She could feel her cheeks burning as she pulled away with a bright grinn, and she could see a shadow of red on his cheeks too. ''Good night.'' She told him softly, feeling his hands on her back hold her a second longer, before he let go. ''Good night.'' He replied with a gentle smile, watching her as she turned away and walked to the train station around the corner. She could feel his eyes on her, and she couldn't stop her heart from beating faster. She glanced over her shoulder, smiling when she saw him watching her, and entered the train.
Thinking about the way they had agreed upon going to the ball together made Lucy smile again. It had been a very sweet moment, which caused a few awkward moments during the days before the ball, but they made it through with light chatting and lots of work-related arguing, followed by soft smiles, letting each other know this was getting somewhere. They hadn't talked about the ball until this afternoon, when Lucy reminded her boss to not drink too much at the dinner, so he wouldn't embarrass himself later at the ball. He saluted her with a cheeky grinn and a promise he would come to pick her up.
Which still hasn't happened.
Lucy glanced at her watch with a frown.
Ten minutes past their appointed time. It wasn't much, but he could have called her if he was trapped in traffic or at the dinner. Another ten minutes later, she tried to call him. He didn't pick up. She tried again, then waited for another ten minutes.
''Hey, I'm ready to go. Still at the dinner?'' she texted him but didn't receive a reply.
''Is everything ok? Did something come up?'' she texted half an hour later.
No reply.
An hour after he was supposed to come around, Lucy's concerns turned to panic. What if he had an accident? What if something had happened? She walked around her small appartement not knowing what to do. In the end she decided to call Erza.
''Hello, Lucy?'' Erza picked up the phone, having loud music from the annual ball in the background. Lucy relaxed a little, knowing she could ask for help. ''Hey-''
''Lucy, where are you? The ball has already started!'' Erza interrupted her, sounding a little concerned.
''I'm ok. No worries. I was just wondering if you could call Mr Dragneel for me. I've been trying to reach him all evening because he was supposed to call me before the ball, but he doesn't pick up the phone. I'm a little concerned.'' She explained without giving away the fact that she and Natsu were supposed to go to the ball together. If Lucy was something, she was a private person. She didn't want to share things like that with her friends unless she was 100% sure it was all right.
''Dragneel?'' Erza must have walked out of the main hall because the music sounded muffled. Lucy reached for her purse in order to make her way out of her appartment.
''Dragneel is here.'' Erza told her, surprized at her concern.
Lucy stopped in her tracks, uneasiness rushing through her chest. ''At the ball?''
''Yeah. He, Miss Strauss, Dreyar, McGarden and Redfox arrived two hours ago. They had had dinner before that if I'm not mistaken and they came together.'' Erza explained, then laughed. ''You should see them. They're all drunk.''
Lucy's mind went blank for a second and she didn't know how to react. She felt her chest squeeze in a very painfull way, but she pushed it aside, trying to understand what was going on.
''Ah… That's ok then. I'll be there soon.'' She finally answered, feeling the shock taking over.
''Right. Then I'll see you in a few.'' Erza replied happily, having no idea how stressed Lucy felt. When they ended the call, Lucy kept staring at her phone for a few moments, not understanding what was going on. Then she looked around her empty appartement and caught the sight of her reflection in the window. She looked like she had seen a ghost; she was pale and grimacing, her eyes wide with uncertainity. When she placed her palm on her cheek she felt it shaking.
Did she misunderstand something?
Did he forget?
That can't be.
She quickly grabbed her keys and phone and put them into her purse as soon as she locked up. Then she rushed out of her appartement complex and called a taxi to get there as soon as possible. She needed to see for herself. She could feel the dread crawl through her like poison, and she couldn't help but go through many plausible scenarios in her mind. She was deep in thoughts and the driver had to call her twice before she heard him say they've arrived. She paid him and exited the car. She stopped in front of the Round Annual Ball Hall, lit with warm bright lights, having classical dance music coming from the inside of it. There were quite a few people walking in and out, chatting, smoking, and just taking a break from dancing. Feeling her feet getting heavy, she slowly walked towards the entrance. She showed her invitation and made her way in. Many people stopped her on her way to greet her and chat with her, and Lucy was only glad for the short distraction. As she moved through the crowd, elegantly making her presense known, she was too focused on finding Mr Dragnel to notice the awed eyes on her enchanting body.
''Heeey!'' Erza greeted her once Lucy had walked into the main dance hall, and hugged her. ''You took your time, girl!'' the red-head smiled at her and looked her up and down, approving her dress choice. Lucy smiled weakly and didn't even have the chance to reply when Juvia and Wendy hugged her, obviously quite tipsy. ''You really look nice!'' Wendy complimented her. ''Where the hell have you been so long?'' Juvia asked instead, but Lucy just shrugged. She looked around in hopes and fear to see her boss, but the dance hall was packed with dancing pairs and tipsy people standing in circles, telling jokes. The small orchestra was on the right side, while the bar with food and drinks was on the left. The whole place was breathtaking. She could feel her heart squeeze a little. ''It's amazing.''
Erza nodded. ''They really did try this year. I must say I'm enjoying it. Even Jellal likes it.'' She smiled then. ''Now that I've mentioned him – I'm going to look for my hubby and force him for another dance.'' She sent the girls an air kiss and a wink before making her way through the crowd. The women laughed at their usually very serious Management boss, and made their way around the hall, greeting and chatting with people. Lucy plastered a smile on her face and pretended she was very happy, when in reality she couldn't get around the mystery of her failed date. She glanced around one more time, and this time she caught the sight of him. She stopped in her tracks in shock once again. Juvia and Wendy bumping into her, complaining a little. Lucy didn't hear them. She only saw her very happy and very much laughing boss dance with no other but Miss Lisanna Strauss, who seemed to enjoy her time with him. They were both obviously drunk, but that didn't stop them from twirling on the dance floor.
Wendy and Juvia laughed when they saw who Lucy was looking at. ''Who would have thought our boss could dance? They've been having fun since they arrived. It's actually really funny to watch.''
''Really…'' Lucy didn't laugh. In fact, she didn't do anything but stare at them. Wendy and Juvia looked at her in concern once they've realized what might be the problem. ''Uh… I'm pretty sure he's only trying to be polite to her – having signed the contract with her earlier this afternoon.'' Wendy tried to make her friend and co-worker feel better, but Lucy simply shrugged her shoulders, seemingly cool with everything. ''That's all right. The thing is, Mr Dragneel was supposed to call me before the ball so we could discuss something. I was a little concerned when he didn't. I see now what had happened.'' She vagually explained, making her friends frown at the dancing pair. ''He forgot? That doesn't happen that often.'' Juvia crossed her arms, staring at her boss. ''They've stopped dancing. Let's go chat with them.'' Not waiting for Wendy or Lucy, she already made her way towards Mr Dragneel, Miss Strauss and other co-workers who were now chatting happily, while standing in a circle. Lucy wasn't sure if talking to him right now was a good idea, but she followed Juvia, as did Wendy. On their way there they noticed Erza dance with Jellal, who looked very much embarrassed, while his wife seemed cheeky and satisfied.
''Hello, Mr Dragneel!'' Juvia called and only then did Lucy realize they already reached them. The moment she turned her head from Erza and faced the front, she caught Mr Dragneel's eyes. His smilling expression soon turned into a horrified one once the realisation hit him. ''Oh, Kami…'' he mouthed, remembering what he had obviously forgotten. Lucy's heart broke a little and she smiled weakly. The others around her started to chat about this and that, while she was forced to face the man who forgot he had asked her out to this exact ball.
''Lucy… I am so so sorry!'' he finally spoke up over the loud music, stepping closer to her.
This time, Lucy's heart did break. She heard so much more from this sentence than she would have liked. She took a shaken breath and took a step away, dismissing the issue with her hand. ''It's ok. But I'd rather have seen you notified me beforehand. I tried to contact you many times.''
Natsu's eyes widened and he rumaged through his pockets for his phone. Lucy didn't wait for him to find it. ''Well, uh… I'll just go around to greet people.'' She wanted to get away from him right now, feeling a sense of betrayal and hurt. And having Miss Strauss hanging on his arm, while obliviously chatting with someone else didn't really help either. She saw a waiter with a tray of red wine coming their way and she was about to reach for a well-deserved glass, when Natsu stepped forward, clumsily reaching for her to stop her from walking away, and knocked the tray of wine right all over Lucy's dress. The circle of her coworkers gasped in horror, while no one else seemed to have noticed the small incident. Erza had. And she was already making her way towards her, concern written all over her.
''Oh, Kami!'' Natsu gasped, appologizing again and again for what had happened. Lucy could feel the red liguid making its way down her whole beautiful blue dress, but it all seemed so surreal. The waiter was panicking next to her, trying to gather all the empty glasses and appologizing to her. Juvia and Wendy have already pulled out a handfull of tissues, trying to rub the red out of her blue. They were appaled.
Lucy glanced around the small chaos around her and finally settled her eyes on Mr Dragneel. He looked panicked. She was in so much pain right now. She blinked away tears, pushing the hurt she felt aside and stepped away when Natsu appologized again. She dismissed everyone around her with her hand and looked down at her chest. ''Well… I'll make my way out. I can't really walk around like this.'' She joked weakly, making everyone around her smile warily. She didn't look at Mr Dragneel again. ''Er… Right. It's ok. No worries. I've seen and talked to everyone important, so…'' she grabbed a few tissues from Juvia and Wendy and slowly made her way back towards the exit. Both women were right behind her, walking her out, when Erza joined them as they reached the exit. ''What in the world happened?'' she exclaimed. Then she noticed the pained smile on Lucy's face and suddenly she realized there was more going on than her friend was letting on. Wendy and Juvia explained to her what had happened, while Lucy called a taxi. The car was there a minute later and she was ready to open the door when Erza reached for her hand and pulled her into a gentle hug. She didn't say anything, only looked at her with a motherly expression once she let go. Lucy couldn't handle the pitty and quickly rushed into the taxi, waving to her friends in good night.
It hadn't been two hours since she arrived. Now she was driving back home.
The inside of the taxi was dark, only lit when they passed a street light. Lucy sat in the back, leaning with her elbow on the window, her silky dress hugging her curves, its colour unrecognisable. Her eyes felt wet and glassy, but she didn't allow herself to cry. She felt disappointed and sad. Very sad. Very hurt. She stared through the window into the night, the city illuminated by lights, skyscrappers illuminating the stars. This night could have been very romantic, but obviously she had wished for too much. She overstepped the boundaries. Clenching her purse to her chest, she grimaced. She had turned off the phone as soon as she sat into the car, and she felt so stupid to be doing all these childish things, only to avoid any kind of confrotation from her boss. Or the lack of it. She didn't want to know right now. Once they've reached her appartement complex, Lucy paid the driver and made her way inside. Entering her flat, she didn't turn on the lights. She stood inside her dark home, glancing around.
She was all alone.
She felt the tears spill down her face.
She sniffed and put her purse away, and slowly walked into her bathroom. She took off her ruined dress and threw it into the washing mashine. She stepped inside her shower and let the water fall on her while she softly cried over the loss of her almost romance.
She lay awake in bed with sheets up to her chest, her arms bend next to her face, her fingers gently touching her cheeks as she gazed through the window, her head resting on her soft pillow. Tears were still running down her cheeks, but she didn't produce a sound. The stars illuminated her room with a soft light, only reminding her how unexpected her evening had been.
She had allowed herself to believe it would all turn out all right, forgeting that she never really had any luck when it came to matters of the heart. Of her heart. Her parents must have jinxed her when they've told her that her childish and ungrateful behaviour of putting her career before marriage would cost her love. She hadn't taken them seriously, and she still doesn't, but her parents breaking her heart was the first of many and was still a painful thorn in her heart, and she couldn't help but think of them now. They had yelled at her and slapped her before throwing her out of the house, and thinking of those spiteful words and hateful voice only broke her heart more than it already was. She thought about her childhood, of her time playing with other children in the playground, of her time studying like crazy for her final exams, of her time sleeping in a hostel for a whole month because she had been kicked out of her own home. She thought about her parents, her relatives, her friends. She thought about her coworkers. Her happily married coworkers, who were successfull in business at the same time.
Why couldn't she have that too?
She sniffed and placed her palm over her eyes. With the other hand, she grabbed the big old teddy bear she had received for her 10th birthday, twenty years ago, and pulled it close to her body, hugging it. She spent the rest of the night wallowing in her sadness.
Saturday morning started late for her. She stayed in bed until noon, then, without getting out of her PJs crawled on her couch with her teddy in her arms and threw a blanket over herself, turning the TV on. She didn't even glance on her dead phone. Later that afternoon, she made herself a warm ramen soup, and sipped at it, while staring at the TV. She ignored the doorbell that rung a few times late in the afternoon, thinking it was most probably Erza or one of the girls, and spent her day alone and in silence. She knew she shouldn't push people away, and she knew she was only making herself feel lonelier by the minute, but imagining anyone seeing her like that only made her feel more humiliated and hurt than she already was. Because yes, she finally admitted to herself that it wasn't just hurt that she felt – it was the humiliation.
The man she worked with, her boss – the man she has been flirting with for a long time, the man who had asked her out – forgot about her and decided to spend his night with another. Then he publicly humiliated her by appologizing as if he wanted everyone to know she was desperate for him and he couldn't answer her wishes – and then he even purred wine all over her.
The memory of that embarresment made her cringe and grimace into another pittiful cry.
She knew she'll have to face him and ask for an explanation – maybe it wasn't as bad as she thought – but she really really didn't want to see him. She didn't want to speak to him. She didn't even want to work with him if it meant she'd have to see him pitty or patronize her for thinking they could be more than just coworkers.
She shouldn't have made that step towards him.
She shouldn't even be so dramatic. Behaving like a love sick teenager.
It was embarrassing.
Gathering her strenght, she woke up early on Sunday and went for a long refreshing run in the park. She had missed jogging in the morning, the fresh crispy air she could breath in and the gentle wind in her face. She felt her muscles work and she was sweating like a pig, but she felt better, her mind clear. She felt ready for Monday to come around.