Author's Note: Before I start, Similar to how Ghostbusters The Video Game is supposedly a sequel to Ghostbusters 2, set a few years afterwards, This story will be set at the turn of the millenium, before the roll-out of digital cinema, for reasons that will be apparent soon enough. The framing device will be records kept of an ongoing investigation into why Gremlins 3 seemingly never released.

Where a narrative element is as a fictional story, I will make a Fourth Wall Note. Otherwise, I will use the framing device to describe the elements as if in universe. An example is that the disclaimer, instead of being a standard one, is in the form of an old copyright. I chose 2001 as the production date due to the fact, it could be assumed, the film was redone at the start to have a topical speech by Daniel Clamp, with it's release being planned for Christmas that year. I stress 'planned'...

GREMLINS 3 © 2001 AMBLIN ENTERTAINMENT. DISTRIBUTED BY WARNER BROTHERS. ANY DISTRIBUTION OUTSIDE OF TRUSTED AND AUTHORIZED SOURCES IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. THIS DIRECT TRANSCRIPT OF THE ONLY SHOWING OF THE FILM WAS MADE AS PART OF AN ONGOING INVESTIGATION, AND ANY ERRORS, MISTAKES OR INCONSISTENCIES WITH THE ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY ARE DUE TO DAMAGE TO THE FILM.

POLICE REPORT

CASE FILE: WARNER BROTHERS 'GREMLINS 3' LAWSUITS

This is primarily a transcript of the film, along with selected commentary and interview transcripts from people related to the film and it's release, created as part of the ongoing lawsuits against Time Warner's Warner Brothers film production company, as well as several related personnel. These lawsuits concern the events surrounding the non-release, and apparent disappearance of practically all copies, of Gremlins 3 The Final Showdown, hereby referred to as Gremlins 3, during the Christmas holiday period of 2001. It was temporarily put under non-disclosure agreement, and only unsealed recently.

According to the Warner Brothers official statement, Gremlins 3 was officially never made, and the studio took a massive undisclosed loss even before taking into consideration the delays and issues on set which we found out about while investigating the first court action, opened by Time Warner itself. The police involvement began when we were called over a report that every single copy for advance release had not been delivered. What was unusual about this theft was that no group was found to have released these stolen copies as an illegal pre-screening or even for distribution online.

In fact, practically every copy that was found, even the one described in the attached transcript, had damage to the film's casing, and in most cases, when the casing was opened, the film itself had been shredded or rendered unplayable, with the copy recorded in the transcript being the only discovered playable copy.

What was sealed under the non-disclosure agreement, and is transcribed below, was that they were able to organise a showing of this single copy within a single cinema, to an audience who were not aware of what they were about to see, with the benefit of a new security system being piloted at the time.

This allowed the observation of the whole theatre area to attempt to stop people bringing in cameras. In hindsight, It was unfortunate that the projection area was not covered by the same security system, and was why we suspect what happened later escalated so quickly. For those same reasons, there was no red carpet premiere.

Interview Transcript 1: Name Redacted At Request

Ah, Gremlins 3. I sometimes feel that you could consider it one of the biggest disasters in movie making history. I remember when I was helping with the filming. They'd managed to get this office building, dirt cheap, to stand in for the Clamp Centre from the original. Built a perfect 1:1 replica out of it. Didn't use it very much for actual filming, the whole thing was wired up for the grand finale.

The finale had the building destroyed, with the Gremlins trapped inside as it came down. Admittedly, the building was up for demolition anyway, so...

From what I could see, it was a picture-perfect demolition, the equipment they'd left in there getting some great shots of the animatronic gremlins trying to escape. However [Amblin] declared something was botched about the finale. It wasn't something like crew being on site, the place was deserted, all the puppet work was done from several miles from the demolition site.

Hell, Any shots with the cast in the building done with the same sets as Gremlins 2 on an earthquake rig, so I don't have a clue what was wrong.

Oh right, the film showing. Well, I only watched the first few minutes. All I did was help with Steve announcing the damn thing. The audio was distorted all to hell, the corporate bumpers played as if the film strip was put in outright the wrong way up, all backwards and upside down Hell, there were several points where Steve and the other studio representatives looked warily at the screen, where there were a lot of glitches that could be attributed to broken or damaged film, with more than one trailer having patches of very visible damage, including frames that were missing and audio cut-outs.

I was among those who left after the film genuinely snapped, the final trailer just frame after frame of slowly decaying film. They went on stage as I was leaving, stating the projection system was being respooled, apologizing about the fact the film had snapped. They made it very clear this was the most complete version of the film, not that anyone actually played it through to check. Well, with the state of the trailers, who would or could. What I will add, as a bit of trivia…

The whole process of respooling was done automatically, no human interaction. There was meant to be a person in the booth, and if they'd been on duty, the film would have been taken off and they'd have used a strip of pre-made trailers. If I'd known why they hadn't done that, I'd have evacuated the entire audience right then and there, because something wasn't right. But, as I said, I didn't, and I didn't even watch very much of the film…

In some ways, I wish I had...

In even more ways… I'm thankful I didn't…

GREMLINS 3: THE FINAL SHOWDOWN

FIRST TRANSCRIPT: INTRODUCTION

Trailers Skipped For Copyright Reasons

For Clamp Industries, the Clamp Centre Incident had been one of the worse corporate disasters in US history. Billions of dollars was wiped off the value of the company due to what was the most surreal event in Clamp Cable's multi-year broadcast schedule, as well as the damages done to some of the broadcast equipment and sets, one entire studio written off along with a expensive industrial microwave.

One transmitter was still broadcasting on several channels an endless marathon of Snow White even a month later, the only remaining feed of that dying abruptly when there was a Technical Difficulties splash card throw up when the tape snapped, the last showing distorted and warped in places as the film wore out.

Daniel Clamp himself went on record as stating that he didn't know who swapped the Clamp 'Apocalypse Tape' for the Snow White tape, but that they were not planning on doing any more showings, and had different plans for their Christmas movie marathon, for the foreseeable future. He added that the emergency broadcast system had been effectively disabled by the incident, so there would no longer be anything playing constantly on every channel like that again.

He had also gone on record as stating that the reason for some of the surreal programming had been some research by Dr. Catheter, formerly of Splice Of Life. Unfortunately, due to a power surge in the laboratory, he was unable to comment in his defence. His widow requested that his research and finances be transferred to Clamp Research for use as they see fit. Splice Of Life itself went into genetically modified food instead of their original bio-research grant.

This once minor research project saved the company financially due to discovering a way to apply the ability to throw a tomato like a baseball safely to foods like bananas. This meant that, a few years later, foods notorious for wastage due to bruising were now cheaper to ship and supply. As a result, hey were now more well known as a supplier of crops that could survive even the worst weather, which especially helped third world countries, who couldn't grow crops otherwise, to have food all year round.

Meanwhile, their original research grant now was changed to the nature of the Gremlins, using donated samples of Gizmo's blood and DNA, along with most of the remains of the Gremlins, one petrified Bat Gremlin as well as the Female Gremlin. This was all supplied in exchange for the only supply of the genetic sunblock, for the personal use of Gizmo, and the destruction of any material which could be used to reproduce it.

Due to this last part, Gizmo now sat, pride of place with Kate Peltzer as Daniel Clamp walked on stage for the reopening ceremony of the Clamp Centre.

"New York endures. A saying that has become very important in recent times. On September 11th, I was one of those people who had to watch as an iconic part of our skyline was permanently and terribly destroyed... We already consulted with Splice Of Life, It was definitely terrorists. There's not been a viable specimen of the Gremlins outside of lab conditions since then..." Daniel Clamp declared, the audience chuckling with his joke.

He then continued, "Over a decade ago, Clamp Industries, due to the unsanctioned and illegal research of that company, lost it's corporate headquarters, and several members of our staff, whose names are listed in the foyer of the new concourse, in an incident which cost several billion dollars in damages to the buliding and our corporate image..."

As he paused, Billy stepped up to join him. "I personally wouldn't be here if it wasn't for William Peltzer here, my new VP of Operations, who helped spearhead the remodelling of the Clamp Centre, both helping with the modernisation effort, as well as adding in specialist security features that will ensure none of the now-sanctioned, and heavily controlled, research into those things by Splice Of Life will get much further than the testing areas, and if anything like what happened all those years ago does again... Clamp Industries will endure."

For Forster, President of Operations, he didn't need to hear the cheers of the crowd as they ate up his boss and the Peltzer boy saying about the brand new vision of Clamp Industries. He watched them from one of the overlooking observation areas, before opening up his folder.

A moment later, he took out a pair of sunglasses and removed a breathing mask from a pocket, putting both on as he tapped a control on the tablet computer in his folder. The compartment was abruptly sealed off from the outside, heavy duty lamps hidden in the roof shining down as the air was sucked out.

"Observation Area 2 - Test complete," A voice stated in his ear, and he waited for the light to normalise and the shutters to open before he removed the sunglasses and breathing apparatus. He then cycled the empty pods through the same process.

If a Gremlin was able to survive the bright lights, the sudden loss of air would ensure they'd not be lasting much longer. The final solution was inelegant but brutal, and was basically small explosive charges built into the walls of the pod, designed for if lifesigns remained in the pod when active.

The observation pod would be immolated in a split second. He stepped out, studying the heavy duty bulkheads, as well as the capability to seal off and turn any part of the building into a vacuum. Fire extinguishing was done using non-liquid foam, and drinking fountains had been removed and replaced by canned drinks machines imported from Japan.

Peltzer had effectively gone from top to bottom, testing everything for compliance with the first two rules of Mogwai care, and ensuring several major breaches of the third would activate upon something less than human being in an area, ensuring even a minor infestation would be dead in moments.

The fact that Peltzer's pet Mogwai was completely immune to sunlight, and they'd managed to figure out how to artificially induce the right mix of bright light and UV radiation to fry a Gremlin on the spot was satisfying. Even more was pressing the button that fried the damn bitch that seduced him, while stating smugly that their relationship was over.

Notably, as a concession to his original hands-on approach to the running of the Clamp Centre, most of what had originally used a bank of computers in a control room was slaved to a tablet computer, built into the same slim folder as he had walked round with before the remodelling. They'd even made sure that the barcode reader and sensor wand he used to interface with it originally was updated to work with it as well.

He opened the folder and checked the display within. A few rapid taps, and he was grinning like a shark. There was something so much more hands-on about having those massive banks now turned into a set of tools he just called up whenever he got an alert. And so much faster. This originally took him going to a bank of monitors when an alert occurred to look. Now, he got the image in front of him instantly.

"Mr... Jones, you are in an area that is off-limits to your pay grade. If you do not return to your mandated area, You'll be escorted out of the building since even your former office ALSO will be above your pay grade, since you'll no longer work here..." He stated into the wireless microphone clipped to his ear.

Five minutes later, a message on his screen showed Mr. Jones back at his desk. He checked the various meters that were across the top of his tablet's screen, before tapping an icon when he noticed a second alert. "Susan, I'm showing that the ambient light levels of Sector 9 of Floor 15 are below acceptable levels. Please send two janitors, one with a torch, to check that area..." He stated.

Even if it had been declared the building was clean, Mr. Peltzer's new regulations required that no-one did any form of maintenance to lighting without a second person to shine a light in the area. The fact every single light had two modes, standard light and what was nicknamed 'the portable sun', was not mentioned.

"We now join Sachiko Kawai, in Chinatown, by the Wing Memorial..." The news reporter announced, Billy sighing as he viewed the program. The Wing Memorial was a shrine, depicting him sat inside, built on the exact spot where Wing's original store had been in Chinatown within Clamp's Chinatown Marketplace, to show tribute to the old man. It was better than he'd expected, and a fine tribute to him.

He opened up his own version of Forster's folder, calling up the videophone after it cycled through the Three Laws test, checking the water, light and situation in any area with food supplies. All food concourses closed at midnight sharp, and there was no way to access the food or drink until they reopened.

"Martin, Martin..." He stated, the two scientists nodding, "How goes the research?"

"We have confirmed a hypothesis that there is a small number of, shall we say, good Mogwai within a breeding group, the criteria of which is still unknown," The first stated.

"We should be able to render the water trigger null and void within the next few months, and no Mogwai with an… acceptable disposition even wants to eat before midnight." The second offered, "We did a simple test..."

"Even the really sneaky Mogwai, if you wave a chocolate bar near them before… The latest tests lead us to believe it's 5am… will try for it. We do not test our luck on the validity of the 5am tests, since we cannot confirm any hypothesis at this time" The first explained. Billy then hung up. He knew how crafty a bad Mogwai could be.

Gizmo looked up at him hopefully. If they could breed 'safe' Mogwai, and distribute them to people who could be trusted, it would be an even better tribute to Mr. Wing than a statue. He looked towards the second tribute, in the Clamp Centre's new concourse, a replica of Mr. Wing's store. The storefront was largely inaccessible, but Wing himself, merely an animatronic replica, sat behind the counter, a cage nearby with a recording of Gizmo's song coming from it.

"Ah, Billy, Gizmo, I overheard your conversation..." The animatronic stated, "Make sure of the time, you should. One mistake, disaster will befall us all..."

Billy nodded. It was odd, but it seemed almost like Mr. Wing was there, dispensing advice to those who walked past. An identical tribute, this one accessible, was in Chinatown, in the exact spot Daniel Clamp had been promising Mr. Wing if he had sold his store.

Mr. Wing's sole living relatives respected how Daniel Clamp did make sure to honour his side of the agreement, even if a large amount of Mr. Wing's stock had been lost, by opening a Wing's Curiosities store in Chinatown, exactly where he'd promised, and the Wing family found more items for the store constantly. He'd also agreed franchising rights with his family, and now ran a slate of curio stores with Mr. Wing's image.

Interview Transcript 2: Name Redacted At Request

Ah yes, The tribute to Keye Luke. What they don't mention is that they managed to, don't know how, reconstruct Keye Luke using audio sampled from various sound recordings. If he'd not had his stroke, it would have been voiced directly by him. There were two versions of Mr. Wing done for the film. A million dollar advanced animatronic, mainly in that it looked pretty damn convincing, and a fiberglass mock-up for when it gets destroyed later in the film.

Can't say much on what causes it, but they'd not exactly go round destroying something that cost that much to make. There's several scenes where it appears, mostly in the background, but, quite literally, Keye Luke, even after his death, got some pretty good scenes in. According to Steve, the original plan was for Keye to possibly just sit in the sealed off store, puff his pipe and offer advice.

They had to spend a small fortune on the replica because of his abrupt death, and even more on creating his posthumous performance. Anyway, You're not here about that, you're here about the film. I wasn't in the cinema, or in on the subterfuge. I do know one thing though.

The projectionist was hospitalised and they hushed it up, since the film was set up in the booth, ready for showing. I'd love to know who was in the booth though, if not the normal guy...