Disclaimer: ToV and Taylor Swift's "Back to December" don't belong to me.
It's not a songfic... it's just inspired by this song, so yeah... still have to give credit where it's due, so close to the SOPA incident. One-sided Karol/Nan in this fic (for those who like the pairing, be warned: I'm neutral.) Also implied Yuri/Karol, because darn it, this is my story, I can do what I like! Really only Yuri being overprotective, though...
Halure's tree was beautiful.
Really, Nan didn't know why she hadn't realized this earlier. Maybe because, the last time she'd been here, the tree hadn't been in full bloom. Now, though, petals fell like raindrops, swirling in the wind and creating an atmosphere of peace and tranquility, reinforced by the light glow of the barrier hovering around the tree's upper branches. One would say the feel was... romantic. The ambiance of the moment faded, but did not break, when Nan's instincts alerted her to an approaching presence from her rear. Nan turned slowly, savoring every gaze upon the very reason she was in Halure in the first place.
Karol had changed since the last time she'd seen him. She couldn't understand how, though. His clothes, albeit a bit tattered, were the same, as were his hair and weapons. There was something serious, almost wise, about the look in his eye, though. But whatever it was had been hidden behind layers of ice that hadn't been there when they'd first met, and Nan would guess that it hadn't been there five minutes ago.
Despite this, she smiled warmly, trying her best to look friendly and inviting, "Hey, Karol."
Staring her dead in the eye with the straightest, most serious face she'd ever seen him make, Karol nodded in greeting. The huntress' heart dropped slightly at the impersonal acknowledgment, but she dared not give up hope. Instead, she continued talking.
"How are you?" She asked, trying not to wince as she glanced at the gentle scarring across his face and went on, "...how's your eye?"
The ice in the young boy's eyes melted slightly, giving Nan a slight glimpse of pain, before Karol regained his composure, "Fine. I'm fine. It's... fine," The young guild member looked down. After a brief pause, the boy added, "Still have trouble seeing things, though."
Nan nodded, really not knowing what else to do. It was a touchy subject for both of them. Instead, Nan leapt for something she hoped he'd be more comfortable discussing, "So how's your guild? Brave Vesperion, wasn't it?"
"Brave VESPERIA," Karol corrected harshly, looking her straight in the eye, "And they weren't too happy with my decision to see you. The only one who really accepted it is Yuri," At the mention of the older swordsman's name, a little ice melted from the boy's eyes, "Even so, I wouldn't be too surprised if he followed me up here or something."
She didn't doubt that, with what she'd heard about Lowell, but Nan had a feeling he wasn't just saying it. He mentioned it for the sole purpose of her knowing it, so she wouldn't try anything.
They were still on very thin ice. Nan tried changing the subject again, turning towards the tree of Halure, "So... you guys fixed it, huh?"
From behind her, a sigh reached Nan's ears. Karol walked forward so he was in front of her, crossing his arms, "Alright Nan, what's this about?"
If his cold treatment hadn't broken her heart, the bluntness of his statement and the impatience in his eyes definitely had. Even so, Nan didn't let her emotions reach her expression. She didn't deserve to have the pity or relief that crying would allow her. Why should she? After all, Karol's treatment, the ice in his eyes... even the scar that marred his face was all her doing. All her fault...
Without meaning to, Nan felt herself drift into memories...
They were losing, and losing bad.
It wasn't even the fact that it was two of them against six of them -seven if they included the dog. No, Nan had taken on many more monsters and even people alone, and Tison was with her now. It was the simple fact that Karol's team was BETTER than they were. The young weakling she had left back in Halure had... well, not matured, but definitely grown. He was stronger now, and even while fighting him, Nan couldn't help the teensiest bit of pride seeping into her heart.
They had a pretty solid strategy: the mage-girl cast spells in a corner against some rocks, with the princess-girl and the archer protecting her. The dragon riding Krityan woman was holding her own against Tison, desperately protecting the cavern where the monster was, with the swordsman backing her up. The dog went wherever support was needed.
Which left her and... Karol. He wasn't really doing much damage at a time, but he wasn't letting her cast spells and even bug-bite attacks take their toll over time. Instead of directly attacking her, though, he took more of a defensive strategy, countering her moves without really trying to hurt her. Nan, not used to this technique, was at a loss as to how to beat it: more often than not, her opponent was offensive and easily caught off guard. Karol however, didn't have any weaknesses to his strategy...
A light bulb went off in her head. Nan charged forth, arranging her weapon for attack and advancing simultaneously. Karol, as predicted, went into a defensive stance, and, when she brought her weapon over her head, performing a Rending Drop, Karol swung his ax- hammer- sword- thing and knocked her off to the side.
Instead of jumping up as she normally would have, Nan went limp. She heard Karol cry in alarm and footsteps racing towards her. It took almost as much concentration as that attack for Nan not to move a muscle, feigning unconsciousness. She heard Karol arrange himself next to her, shaking her a few times... and then she struck.
Beginning an attack with your eyes closed, however, had the drawback of not being aware of just where you're striking. Instead of hitting his chest and knocking him onto his back, as she'd planned, Nan's attack connected with his face, creating a fine slice that rolled right across his eye. The momentum sent him flying and, to Nan's horror, he went sailing right over the cliff.
Nan went numb. She heard voices cry out behind her and felt actual wind as the swordsman and his dog raced passed, looking down the cliff. His gaze then shifted to her. Had Nan not already been frozen with shock, she would have become paralyzed with fear at his stare, a dead-empty coldness glazing over his eyes. But instead of attacking her, he ran past her again, running down the hillside.
The next thing Nan knew was the pain in the back of her head. Then... darkness.
It wasn't until later much later, after she'd awakened and recovered a bit, that she had learned what happened: Yuri Lowell, as he's called, obtained Karol's bruised up body from the bottom of the cliff side and the princess-girl, Estellise, had healed him. The truth about the Entelexia and the situation with the aer came out later, when one of the Hunting Blades had reported on what had happened at the Guild meeting. Even then, she hadn't been able to do anything. The cold, impersonal manner that he'd treated her with in the Crystal Lands, even after having the princess-girl heal her still stung when she thought about it.
Now, all she could do was apologize. With all her courage, Nan repeated the two words that had been replaying in her mind over and over again since she'd awoken from her injured sleep.
Karol sighed again, shaking his head.
"Is that all?" He asked, and Nan felt insulted. What, was her apology not good enough? As if hearing her thoughts, Karol shook his head again, this time losing some of the impersonal manner of communication, "Listen, it's not that I don't want to forgive you -some part of me does- but... the short of it is, I can't trust you anymore."
Nan's heart broke for what felt like the hundredth time since Mt. Temza, but she stayed silent, this time resolving not just to hear, but to actually listen to Karol's words.
"You knew-" Karol's breath grew heavy, and he looked down, balling his fists, "You knew how much I cared about you. How much you meant to me. You knew and you used it against me without a second thought. Has it occurred to you, just once, that you're the first person to really show me genuine kindness? The first person to have me believe in them not just as a fellow guild member, but as a friend?"
This thought had crossed Nan's mind only twice, in fact. Despite all the thinking she's done in between their meetings, she'd never once considered that she'd been the first friend Karol had ever had.
"But..." he continued, "even then, it wasn't enough. I believed in you... but now that I can think back on it without personal attachment, I know that you never once even considered believing in me. You may have hid it better than the others, but you didn't see me as much more than a hopeful child either, did you?"
Nan wanted to deny it, to tell Karol that some part of her had always believe in him, but even she knew that she'd be lying. There was a point in time, before Halure but after Temza, where she hadn't believe in any of his abilities. Where he was just some annoying little sugar-hyped kid. Where she had been relieved to realize that at some point, they'd lost each other.
Karol was silent now, staring at her with no coldness in between her and his eyes. They were strained with the pain of betrayal, waiting to hear whatever she had to say to respond to that. What she said now, she realized, would make or break their friendship. If she messed up now...
No, no time to think about that. Instead, Nan attempted to compose herself, searching for words that wouldn't offend Karol, yet get her message across, "Karol..." she began helplessly, then took a deep breath and continued, "I... I'm not going to pretend you're wrong. I'm not going to say or, worse, wish that I can go back in time and fix things. But..." here, she dared to pause and stare Karol in the eye. He was waiting expectantly, with lessening pain in his eyes. Simply being around her was reducing his anger, and that inspired her, "But I've admitted I've made a mistake. I've gone out of my way to apologize to you and... I can't deny that the Hunting Blades just aren't the same without your corky personality around. I have no right to expect forgiveness, but at the same time... I just hope..." Nan's eyes were watering, and she hoped she was being discreet when she wiped them away, "I hope that maybe, someday, you can open up to me again..."
Karol was now staring at the ground, fists clenched. It took a moment for Nan to realize it, but he was sobbing silently to himself, tears leaking from the edges of his eyes and trailing down his face. An instinct she'd long pushed away chose now to kick in and, without even thinking about it, she embraced him, rubbing his back soothingly as he now sobbed openly.
After a few moments, Karol looked up at her again, "I don't forgive you," she nodded, not quite sure what else to do. After all, she'd half expected that, "but... I'll give you another chance. I- I want to be your friend again, but I need to know you're not going to attack me the next time we meet first. I need to learn to trust you again," Nan nodded, smiling under her skin. Here she was, having had the gall to hope for something she was trying openly to get, and, well, she hadn't quite received it yet, but she was almost there. She had the chance to gain it. And that had been more than she'd expected.
Karol nodded at her, "I'll see you soon, okay?" He half-smiled at her, before turning around and running down the hill, to the inn where his guild was probably staying. She didn't follow. There was no point to it. She'd done all she could... the rest was up to Karol. She smiled, closing her eyes and thinking back to the good times they'd had, the times that had been meaningful. Her eyes snapped open when the hairs on the back of her neck stood up, and she spun around.
Neither her nor Karol had noticed it, but Yuri Lowell was standing under one of the roots of Halure's tree, just in the shadows. How long he'd been there, she had no idea, but he knew that she'd seen him, because he stepped out into the pale moonlight. The once romantic atmosphere became tense, two warriors staring down each other from across a small plane. In any other circumstance, this meant a fight, and Nan knew this very well.
Lowell had his sword, but he that didn't mean anything: from what she'd heard, he carried it around everywhere. He didn't draw it, didn't even move it to a position he could fight from. Either he was cocky or not looking for a fight and, frankly, Nan wasn't sure which was worse.
He approached her slowly, coming to a stop by her side and standing next to her, leaning against the tree of Halure. For a moment neither spoke, and Nan wondered what he was waiting for before Lowell finally turned his head, staring him down with eyes not unlike Karol's earlier. The only difference was, in this case, she had no desire to make that ice melt. She didn't know Lowell and, frankly, that suited her just fine.
After searching her eyes for a little bit, Lowell turned his head back to neutral position. Nan didn't know what she expected him to do, but she was surprised when Lowell spoke to her.
"He doesn't love you."
The sheer bluntness and forwardness of that statement almost knocked Nan off guard, "I'm sorry, what?"
"You heard me," Lowell pushed himself away from the tree, turning to face her, "He doesn't love you anymore. He did once, but you fixed that for him on Temza. Now, you're lucky to get friendship. It's more than you deserve."
Nan sighed, another image of her rounded blade slicing across Karol's face entering her mind, "I know-"
"No, you don't," Yuri interrupted, annoyed, "You're beginning to realize how much you care about him, just when he's finally getting over you. Life hurts that way," Lowell turned away and began walking, though whether it was because he didn't want to look at her or was heading off, Nan wasn't sure, "I'm only going to say this once: don't you dare hurt him again. If I ever have to repeat myself, it's likely you won't survive the encounter."
For a moment, the girl just stood their, blank. Finally, she found her voice again, "It's good..." she began, "that someone's looking out for him."
"Brave Vesperia takes proper care of their own," Lowell responded, stopping but not looking back, "Karol is much like Estelle in the fact that he's got a kind and trusting nature. And like Estelle, there are people out there who'd take advantage of that. Someone's got to protect him and, frankly, I don't think you're up to the task, what with abandoning him to fight Eggbears."
That was one thing they hadn't discussed, what had happened in Halure and the aftermath, and Nan found herself on the spot, "T-that was-"
"Different?" Yuri guessed, throwing his hand into the air, "Of course it was. Look, just heed my warning and we'll get along fine. Don't..." Yuri let it trail off, walking away from the young girl.
Nan stood there, under Halure's tree, thinking. She wasn't going to hurt Karol, right? Karol was her friend, and he- well, he must care about her to some extent, or she wouldn't have been forgiven, right?
Right?
Once Lowell was out of sight, Nan took off. Master was probably wondering where she was, and she didn't want to keep him waiting.
Ending was weak but, as much as I thought the beginning out, I didn't have a good ending lined up. I just wrote and let the creative juices flow naturally.
My goal with this story was to make all the characters justifiable. I wanted Nan to genuinely want forgiveness, but also to imply she was in denial. I wanted Karol to genuinely have gotten over Nan but, at the same time, still value her friendship. And Yuri... all I wanted for him was to come off overprotective. Anything else came out in the wash.