Author's Chapter Notes:
I was asked by a few on here and another site for a sequel to this... It's not romantic, more pragmatic and honest. My muse is driving me to insanity...
Daydreams Will Get You Killed
"-dark and handsome. Yah know like those old cartoon movies with a 'happily ever-after' ending."
Dim sapphire eyes stared at the emaciated girl across the cave from him. Small children, damaged by this unprecedented war huddled together in groups against the damp rock walls, trying to keep warm as dusk set in. Joints swollen, skin caked with dirt and blood, wounds wrapped in dirty rags-some festering, some scarring over into rough disfigurements. The smaller ones, younger and more susceptible to disease and death, were showing signs of poor diet and hunger, bellies swelling forward, pregnant with liquid as their tiny forms strained to survive.
Jim shifted at the edge of the cave, alert eyes scanning the darkening forest for movement. He controlled his body's need to shiver as the cold slithered under the tattered remains of his clothes, embracing his weary bones. He was their strong leader, unable to show signs of weakness.
It was their eyes, as he watched the weak ones die slowly, which truly destroyed his innocence; not the murdering, the hunting, witnessing the torture of others just like him. War was bloody and no one came out unscathed; jaded, disassociated, but never again innocent. He had watched 23 other children and teens slowly fade into stillness, their eyes bloodshot, weary, bright with hope as they lived another day, as they survived together, as they protected each other… innocent eyes grayed over with misery. Dulling in color until they were as blank as their body was still.
Jim knew everyday, as he observed his charges, who was closer to death, who was healthier, who had the highest probability of surviving this hellhole.
His desperate calculations were interrupted by one of the youngest, a small sweet Andorian boy, who had been recently found, one of the healthiest in their crew of 18.
"JT, do you believe in happily ever-after? Or in finding love with a princess?"
His innocence was not corrupted yet, his family had protected him for many months and only now was he exposed to the slimmest horrors they suffered. Jim stared at the boy, face controlled through the tidal wave of emotions his question elicited.
He wanted to lie, to vent his frustration and anger, to unleash the hopelessness his soul was suffering… instead JT shoved his emotions away, focusing on being present and calm knowing his resentment would only wound the suffering children more.
Scanning the entrance once again, he swallowed dryly.
"Do I believe in the classic fairy tale ending?" Jim clarified, observing some of the children nod, all eyes focused on him. "No." Blue eyes watched as they deflated, hopelessness pouring from their burden filled eyes. "No, I don't believe in the idea that everything will be perfect, if I ever meet the perfect person. Such an ending to life would be… boring." Jim smiled as some of the older teens nodded or chuckled. "I don't want perfection. Never really have. Nor have I ever believed in the romanticism of love making everything rainbows and unicorns." The younger children smiled weakly, paying close attention. "We've all seen what love and good intentions have done to our people, to this world. What I seek is even more elusive, more rare. Some people wish for others like themselves, falling into the safety of routine. You guys know me, I could never live such a life…"
Rylie, an older Orion girl, spoke from the back of the cave her voice comforting though weak and strained. "What you need, JT is a logical protector."
Jim laughed outright. "Since when do I need a protector?" Rylie raised one eyebrow in disbelief. "I can account several occasions before and after the fungus devastation in which you needed a protector. Or perhaps a sounding board might not hurt your pride as much."
Jim smirked, checking the charge of his weapon and acknowledging the truth of her statement. There had been many close calls over the past half-year. Had he such a companion, perhaps they would have been in a better situation.
"I'll concede to that. A logical companion who will protect me when necessary and go along with some of my more eccentric schemes. They'll have to be highly intelligent too…" Blue eyes crinkled, "to ensure my bored mind does not destroy the world in it's hunger for adventure."
The children sat still, listening as Jim went on, describing a being that was honest to a fault, whose perception of the universe was fascinating and whose mind hungered for knowledge. They smiled as he described their bad traits too, of the misunderstandings and misimpressions. Of how even though they might argue and fight over logistics, their trust of the other would over come all trials.
Scanning the dark tree line once more, Jim finished softly; knowing most of the children had fallen asleep to his voice.
"They will be an outsider, like me. Lost and searching. Perhaps they yearn for me as I do for them. Maybe destiny and fate will allow us to meet and recognize the other. The other half of myself… the other half of my soul…" Then he stepped out of cave, into the bleak darkness knowing no such person existed solely for him. Blending into the shadows, he focused on searching for intruders, because right now he was the only thing keeping those children alive and he could not afford to daydream about a perfect mate…
"Or unicorns and rainbows," he whispered. For now there would be no happily ever-after…perhaps only in his dreams were no others trod, could James relax and embrace the connection to another made just for him…
Fin…?
Tell me what you think.