Why did I have to be the one to walk her down the aisle? I didn't deserve to; I didn't take care of her, she took care of me. Where would I be without her? Still at the Y for all I know. At the time Janet and Chrissy asked me to be the third roomate, I just took it as sheer coincidence that they needed someone to fill Eleanor's void but I've come to find that it was more than that; they saved my life. Did they know that? Will they ever? I don't think Chrissy thinks about much of anything but Janet had to have known what she was doing. Why else would she lie to the Ropers about my sexuality? I don't care if I have to live with that lie for as long as I live here as long as I had a place to stay. I'm not sure I even want to live here anymore if this means Janet won't be here.
God, she's beautiful. As we make our way down the aisle that in reality is just our hallway, I have to keep looking at Phillip. It wouldn't look good for me to be staring at Janet the whole time. It's not long until I see Larry and Mr. Furley sitting in the front rows and I have to take a deep breath to stop from throwing up. I look at Teri smile at the both of us and for some reason that took the nausea away.
"Dearly beloved," I hear the preacher man say. Good Lord, help me. "We are gathered here today to see this man and this woman wed in holy matrimony. Anyone who has objections, please speak now or forever hold you peace."
"I do," Phillip says.
Everyone was shocked. Their gasps pierced my ears and I'm sure mine alone was deafening. I couldn't look at Janet anymore; I was too heartbroken for her, even now. I watched as Phillip took Janet's hands which made her turn away from me.
"Why are you doing this to me now?" Janet said, her voice cracking.
"You deserve better than me, Janet."
"Phillip, I don't..."
"Yes, you do, Janet," Larry of all people ended up saying.
"You tell her, Larry!" Mr. Furley shouted in agreement with his signature bug eyes.
"Don't waste your breath," Teri said as she pushed me aside. For a nurse, she sure could be hostile when she felt like it. For a moment I felt sorry for Phillip because I know what he's in for dealing with Teri. "Now listen, buster, I'm a nurse. You know what that means?"
"You help heal people?" Phillip guessed.
"It means I work in a hospital where I can get another nurse to help heal you right after I beat you up."
"You wouldn't."
"You're right because assault is a felony and I would get fired over a felony and you aren't worth the felony charge."
The wedding guests applauded Teri's verbal lashing and appluaded even harder when Phillip turned around and left without saying another word. Teri was proud of herself as she should be but I couldn't take Janet's shell-shocked face. I signaled for silence as I prepared to finally say something.
"Listen," I croaked once everyone quieted down. "Stick around. There will be a wedding today. Janet, will you be my wife?"
"What?"
That was all Janet could say in response. Her hands covered her mouth in disbelief while I nodded. Our living room was full of gasps again.
"Talk about not worth it," Mr. Furley sneered.
"Mr. Furley!" Teri sneered back at him. It was more than enough to shut him up.
"Janet," I said softly as I walked over to her. "Don't take this as an insult, but I bet you will never meet another man who wants to marry you as much as I do right now. Will you be my wife?"
"I do," Janet said as she looked up and laughed as she realized we were at the altar already. "Please continue with the ceremony, Reverend."
Our living room again erupted with applause. Janet smiled at me so big and so genuine that my stomach fluttered. I kissed her hands as the reverend began to carry on.
"Now do you..."
"Jack," I replied, never taking my eyes off Janet. "Jack Tripper."
"Jack," the reverend proceeded. "Do you take Janet Wood to be your lawfully wedded wife? For richer, for poorer. Through sickness and in health. Until death you part?"
"I do."
"May I have the rings, please?"
Teri had our rings. I should have known something was up when Phillip came with no best man. It was times like these when you wish your intuition wasn't right.
"Jack," the reverend instructed as he handed me Janet's ring. "Place this on the third finger of her left hand and repeat after me: With this ring, I give you my love. I thee wed."
"With this ring, I give you my love. I thee wed."
I meant every word as the ring glided on her finger perfectly.
"Janet," the reverend instructed as she was handed "my" ring. "Place this on the third finger of his left hand and repeat after me: With this ring, I give you my love. I thee wed."
"With this ring, I give you my love. I thee wed."
The ring didn't fit my finger. She wanted so badly to get it on there that she ended up jamming my finger. I welped in pain a little bit as the guests laughed.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. I wasn't sure if she was trying not to laugh or trying not to cry. Maybe a little of both.
"It's okay, honey," I said as I slipped the ring into my tux pocket. My other hand never let go of her.
"Well," the reverend continued. "By the power vested in me, by God and the state of California. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
I held her face in my hands as I kissed her. While we were kissing, the last eight years ran through my mind: her cammeo; her sleazy high school crush; the willpower challenge; when I offered to give her my services for "home decorating"; when she went on a date with my date's father; when I danced her around the dance studio and that one time I got drunk and thought I took her virginity. I knew that for years to come, right now, in our eighth year, this would be my favorite memory.
"You're crazy," Janet whispered as she hugged me.
"No, I'm not. I'm in love, I have been."
