Author's Note: Hello, my dear and beloved readers. 'Tis I, the Absent Authoress, PenNameless1994.

Moving on from my melodrama... We all know that the book Death Omens: What to do when You Know the Worst is Coming is found in PoA, in Diagon Alley's Florish and Bolts after Harry's initial sighting of the dreaded "Grim."

So, I wondered what the book would actually say...

Death Omens: What to do when You Know the Worst is Coming

The Grim is one of the most feared death omens in modern magical society. Taking the form of a large, black-furred dog, the Grim is said to herald sudden death.

Several well-known and oft-tried methods exist for dealing with the after-math of a Grim Sighting.

These include:

Running away.

Running far away.

Taking the Knight Bus to the next town because you just saw a Grim.

In that next town, purchasing a flying carpet through the blackmarket.

Riding that flying carpet to the next country because you just saw a Grim.

Disembarking and running away on foot because you are so screwed.

Boarding a magical train to Translyvania (no matter where you are comming from, you must go by train).

Finding an abadoned castle.

Screaming in this castle, which should be far, far away (unless you are from Translyvania) and very isolated so that no-one can hear you.

Because the Grim is actually the Grim Reaper's animagus, and he's coming for you.

Because you are going to die.

And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

So you might as well scream.

Then, going home.

Going about your daily routine and as you do so:

Constantly check your surroundings for a large black dog that you saw briefly and, therefore, must be following you.

Continually bite you nails out of nerves.

Start talking to yourself about the stalker-canines.

Blindfold yourself so you may longer see a Grim by chance.

Become so nervous that you have a stress-onset heart attack and die.

Above all, in the case of a Grim Sighting, it should be remembered that the Grim is only an omen, a sign of potential happenings, in a highly uncertain, unpreditable, and unknowable field of magic.

As such, a Grim may be a Grim indicating a future that never actually occurs or a friendly neighborhood stray.

Readers are encouraged to not panic and/or remember to take their potions for high-blood pressure.

Author's Note: Yep, those're my thoughts.

Please review?