A/N: This is a story with songfic in each chapter. I noticed that most people who have songfics always only have one chapter, so I'm making a songfic story! . Enjoy it. I know what Haru is thinking because of pervious experiences with my b/f.

I do not own any character except Kagyaku. You'll see what I mean soon enough.

Chapter 1

"I've been waiting by the phone,

Not to hear from you in 4 days,

Don't want to be alone,

Like I'm waiting here now…"

My hand was cemented to the phone. I haven't spoken to Rin in almost a week. She was starting to worry me, we always talked, it wasn't like her to do this to me. What happened?

Ring! Ring! Ring!

I felt the slight vibration of the phone under my hand as it rang.

I picked it up as fast as I could, "Hello?" my voice was kind of shaky, was I really that worried?

"Haru? Is that you?" Rin's voice was soft and meek, not like her usual tones of hard and sarcastic phrases.

"RIN! What's wrong?" I cried grasping the phone with both of my hands.

"Can you come over to my house?" she asked quietly as if she were scared.

"Yeah no problem, I'll be over there soon, just wait for me. I'm heading out right now."

"Thank you…" she replied with a sob that she was trying to hide.

"I love you Rin," I said, there was silence on the other end and then a sigh.

"Thank you," Rin almost cracked I could tell, she then hung up.

I put my shoes on fast, not even tying them, I needed to see her. I almost tore the door off of its hinges.

"And I don't know, where you go to sleep at night,

It could be anywhere, with anyone.

You said you wanted flowers,

'Cause he took yours.

And now you can't give those to me,

And I can't take mine back,"

I was at Rin's house; Kagura's family car wasn't there, so I let myself in. All of the lights were off. My eyes needed time to adjust to the sudden darkness. I stumbled around for a bit trying to find a light switch until I found one. I flicked it on and it lit the way to Rin's room.

I made my way to Rin's room, the door was closed, and no light was escaping from under the door. This was unusual…what happened I asked myself again.

I knocked softly on the door and heard a quiet, "Haru?"

I poked my head into her room. A vision of Rin huddled against the wall was all I saw in the darkness. I opened the door a little more and the light I turned on to guide my way caught her eyes. Her knees were drawn into her chest, like a crying child. I fell to the floor and crawled to her, however the closer I got the more she looked like I was going to hurt her.

I tried to wrap my arms around her, to cradle her fears in my arms. I wanted to comfort her with my words and warmth. She began to scream and pull at her long raven hair.

"NO! DON'T! Please don't…" she begged crying harder into her knees.

I pulled back in shock, she never did this before. Of all the things she has said and done to me, this was one I had never thought she would do. Rin was always showing a strong façade, was she falling apart?

It tore me up inside to see her backing away from me. Some one I love so much crying so hard when I tried to hold her tightly. My heart had a hole torn through it, she was in so much pain and I was in the dark about it all.

"Haru," she finally whispered, her voice not losing any of that same fear that I heard on the phone of just minuets ago.

This was the only time I ever saw her stripped of hatred and her cover was long gone by now. At this moment she was only scared.

"Please don't hate me…I didn't want to…he was too strong…" Rin broke down again.

What is she talking about?

"What happened, Rin?" I asked trying to remain calm, my hands were shaking however.

"And I still remember all the things you brought to my life,

Even though you're not here to remind me…"

"He…H-h-he…raped me!" She yelled falling to pieces again.

My mind was infected by 'Black Haru'. I bit my lip and punched the wall with all my might. A hole formed under my clenched fist.

"How? No, When? How did it happen?" I yelled standing up and pacing the length of the room fast.

Rin sobbed into her knees, "I don't know how, it just happened…" She said between sharp intakes of air.

"Who was it? I'll fucking kill him…" I swore biting my lower lip again.

"'Cause I can't sleep at night,

And I'm too scared to die without you,

Not to hold you tight,

It's killing me you're killing me,

And I don't want to fight,

So please don't let me die tonight,

And I'll cry again for sure…"

I felt hot tears form behind my eyes. I tried to hard so hard to hold them back. But they just fell onto the floor like I did. Tears kept coming and coming it seems like they had no end. I was on my knees sobbing into my hands like a spoiled child.

"I love you Haru," Rin's voice assured still filled with fear and sorrow.

I put our faces close together, like I was about to kiss her.

"And to lay with you was the same as if,

And I don't want that,

Like I don't want you…"

"How can you say that?" I asked in my black tone.

"And you say, 'I love you',

But do you mean it?

How could you really mean it?

And I still remember all the things you brought to my life,

Even though you're not here to remind me."

I wasn't thinking! It was my black side talking! I didn't mean it! Rin backed up into the corner again and tried to hide her loud sobs. I could tell she was hurt deeply by what I just said, with good reason too.

Oh god, what have I done? I hurt her so badly, why am I being like this?

I crawled towards her again, "I'm so sorry Rin, I didn't mean it…"

Her chocolate pools met mine. Her eyes were so full of pain and agony, it tore at my soul. I tried to wrap my arms around her again. Her whole body shuttered against mine. Rin's arms didn't wrap around me, they only lay still close to her sides.

"I love you too Rin," I agreed holding her tighter still. "But, the fucking bastard is going to die…he won't hurt anyone anymore. I swear to you."

"'Cause I can't sleep at night,

And I'm too scared to die without you,

Not to hold you tight,

It's killing me you're killing me,

And I don't want to fight,

So please don't let me die tonight,

And I'll cry again for sure…"

I took her by the shoulders and made her face me, "Tell me, who did it?"

Rin looked away and tears fell down her cheeks. I made her face me again, I needed to know.

"Rin, please tell me. Please I beg you," I got on my knees and held her waist.

Rin started freaking out; I think it was because I was holding her the wrong way. She pushed me off of her and huddled to the corner again. I bounced back from the push. I rushed back to her.

I put my hands on her face, "Tell me, I NEED to know!"

"'Cause I'm falling down,

And you can't pick back up this time,

'Cause I'm falling down,

And you can't pick back up this time."

She screamed and cried harder, I was lucky that no one was home to hear this all or they would hurt me. Rin tried to escape my gaze but I wrapped my arms around her neck (like a hug not strangling her). She pushed on my chest but I stood my ground. Rin crumbled to on the floor and I guided her down to there.

"It was…" She started. "Kagyaku, that guy from your class that I met once when I came to get you after school…"

My blood boiled over into hatred.

He will fucking die! Kagyaku, you will never lay a hand on my Rin or anyone's love ever again…

"'Cause I can't sleep at night,

And I'm too scared to die without you,

Not to hold you tight,

It's killing me you're killing me,

And I don't want to fight,

So please don't let me die tonight,

And I'll cry again for sure…"

Rin clung to my shirt and cried into my chest. I just sat and stroked her silk like hair.

I whispered in her ear, "I love you, and I'll never let you get hurt again."

I know she must have been tired of hearing that, I always say that when she gets hurt. I can't protect her…I'm just useless in that way. I drew her closer to me again. The only way I could make sure she was safe was to touch her smooth skin, to feel her in my arms. That was the only way…

'Cause I can't sleep at night,

And I'm too scared to die without you,

Not to hold you tight,

It's killing me you're killing me,

And I don't want to fight,

So please don't let me die tonight,

And I'll cry again for sure…"

I started crying so hard, I felt like she was no longer mine. Had Kagyaku taken something from me, something that was so special that I couldn't take it? No, I won't let him win…

We eventually fell asleep on the floor where we cried so hard last night. I will start making the plans for Kagyaku as soon as I can.