Bernie had arrived at work early in order to go and see Fletch. She felt the need to apologize to him for what happened to him.
"Hey superdad. Just came to check on you and to say I'm sorry for what happened. I should have listened to you Fletch. All of this could have been avoided if I just gotten that assessment. I am so so sorry Fletch I really am" Bernie has to force the tears back as she strokes the top of Fletch's hand. Bernie stood there for a few more minutes. Her evening had been plagued by the memory of the kiss she had shared with Serena. She had taken a risk and it had been rewarded. Cameron had been right. She did have feelings for Serena and it appeared as if the brunette reciprocated
"You must be Berenice Wolfe" Bernie turns quickly at the sound of Connie's voice. "Fletch thinks very highly of you"
"You're Connie Beauchamp. I'm very sorry about your daughter I hope she's full recovery" Connie smiles sadly and nods her head "Do you ever make mistakes?"
"More than I care to admit to Ms Wolfe. But they make us better people and better doctors. Mistakes are lessons" Bernie looks back at Fletch then at Connie before smiling weakly
"I haven't learnt mine yet then. I left the army to right, at least, some of the mistakes I've made yet I ended up making more. This one... the worst of them all." Bernie sits down and closes her eyes. She had managed to get little or no sleep the previous night with her guilt about Fletch and her feelings for Serena rolling around in her head
"From what I've heard it wasn't your fault. The psych consult was pushed back, you did what you had to. You had no idea that the patient involved would try to hurt someone. None of this is your fault Ms Wolfe"
"Thank you Mrs Beauchamp. A friend said the same to me last night" Bernie smiles ruefully at the thought of Serena. How would the brunette act today? How would she act? Bernie looks at the clock and sighs "Better get back to it. AAU and my trauma unit can't run themselves" Bernie nods at Connie, glances at Fletch then heads down to AAU. She heads straight for the office to grab her cigarettes but not before she sees Serena sitting at her desk. Bernie takes a deep breath and walks into the room "Morning" She says shyly glancing at Serena as she takes her cigarettes from her coat pocket
"Morning..." There was an awkward silence between them before Bernie closes the office door. She knew they needed to talk
"We need to talk" Serena looks at the door then at Bernie who was staring at her with those beautiful eyes "About last night"
"It was nothing more getting caught in a moment. It was a mistake" Bernie stumbles backwards at the sting of Serena's words. "We were both tired and emotional"
"Mistake... I see." Bernie could feel her heart breaking. She fights back her tears as she shakily puts a hand on the door knob "Excuse me" Bernie rushes from the office, hand over her mouth to stop her sob escaping. She escapes to the roof and lets out of the tears she had been holding back. She had trusted someone else with her heart and it had been shattered and this was the worst broken heart she had ever had. Serena wasn't Marcus or Alex. Serena was... Bernie's one. She was the love of her life. It was then Bernie made the decision that she could no longer work with Serena. If working with Serena meant heartache she couldn't do it. She gathers herself before heading down to Hanssen's office.
Meanwhile back on AAU Serena couldn't move from her desk. She saw the heartbreak in Bernie's eyes when she had told the blonde it was a mistake. Serena knew it wasn't a mistake but the last thing she needed was the hospital rumour mill spreading the news she had feelings for her co-lead and friend. She knew how vicious the rumour mill was. Bernie's affair with Alex as one example of how vicious the mill was. She didn't want that to happen with her. Then there was Jason to consider. Robbie wanted nothing to do with him. She couldn't be in a relationship where Jason wasn't part of the package but Bernie already knew that surely. She couldn't risk it. Serena's thought train is brought to an abrupt stop when Raf knocks on the door. She looks up at the Scotsman "Yes Raf?"
"ICU called down. Fletch is doing better and is ready to taken off sedation" Serena sighs in relief and nods her head "Are you heading up?" Serena was already on her feet and heading for the door
"Yes. Page Ms Wolfe. Have her meet me there" They needed to get on with their work no matter how strained things were between them right now. Raf nods his head and heads over to the desk to page Bernie.
Bernie had just left Hanssen's office when she received the page and rushes straight down to ICU finding Serena already there standing vigilant at Fletch's bedside "What's happened?" Bernie says sounding strained
"He's ready to be taking off sedation"
"Thank goodness" There a clear look of relief on the blonde's face. Bernie had never faced anything like this not even on the front line. There was a sort of detachment when you treat a fellow soldier but when it's a close friend and colleague it's so much harder. The couple watch as Fletch is taken off sedation. The doctor who treated him looks at Bernie and Serena and shakes their head.
"He's not responding." The doctor looks at Fletch's stats and shakes his head sighing heavily "We need to do further tests. I'm sorry" Bernie drops her head and sighs heavily. This wasn't the result they were after. Unable to be here Bernie heads down to AAU. She felt the guilt swell up in her like a disease. Serena watches her go and swallows the lump in her throat before she enters ICU. She approaches Fletch's bed and takes his head
"Oh Fletch... You can get through this you're too strong not too" Serena sits down and looks at the broken man laying in the bed "Fletch." Serena closes her eyes and shakes her head. She needed to confide in someone and it may as well be Fletch "After your op last night Bernie and I... we kissed. And I have never felt so alive in all my life. It was... well there are no words to describe it but there is no way Bernie and I could have a relationship and it's not because she's a woman. I'm terrified of this hospital's vicious rumour mill. The damage it would cause. I can't do it Fletch I can't." Serena was unaware of Connie Beauchamp laying in the next bed who had heard everything
"Serena? Ms Campbell?" Serena knew that voice and turns to see Connie sitting up wearing a sly smile "When it comes to affairs of the heart forget what other people think and listen to yourself. I had the pleasure of meeting Ms Wolfe this morning. It's not like a woman like her comes around everyday. If you have feelings for her don't lock them away you'll only regret it" Serena smiles and nods her head. Connie Beauchamp: The Pearl of Wisdom. "Don't let her get away" Before Serena could respond her pager goes off. Hanssen. What did he want?
"I have to go. Thank you Connie" With a soft smile Serena heads up to Hanssen's office to find out what he wanted
"Ah Ms Campbell please come in" Serena closes the door behind her and takes a seat "I've had Ms Wolfe in my office requesting a transfer back to Keller" This news hit Serena like a freight train. Bernie was leaving her. Leaving what they had built "She is stating personal reasons. Is there anything I need to be made aware of? Anything as to why Ms Wolfe would find it so uncomfortable to work on AAU after all these months?"
"Hmm..." Serena couldn't speak, she couldn't process what was happening. Was this what her rejection had done? Was this her doing? "Forgive me Henrik I must speak with Ms Wolfe immediately" Serena didn't listen to Hanssen's objections as she bolted from his office and straight down to AAU. Bernie was standing over the bed of a patient who had been admitted the day of the helicopter crash "Ms Wolfe a word?" Bernie knew what this was about as she replaces the patient file in the holder at the bottom of the bed
"Yes Ms Campbell?"
"In the office please" Bernie nods her head and walks to the office waiting for Serena to follow her. Every staff members' eyes followed them into the office as the door closes "I've just had a brief meeting with Hanssen. Why Bernie?" Bernie looks at Serena swallowing the lump in her throat before she speaks
"Because working with you would be too hard." Bernie sits on the edge of her desk and looks up at Serena. She could barely keep her lip from quivering "You said last night was a mistake but not to me. God Serena. You have no idea how much I want you and gods know I've tried to hide it but I can't any more. I've never felt like about anyone not even Alex. You're something else entirely" Serena looks away ashamed of her behaviour towards Bernie this morning. "I have to get back to work." Bernie stands from her desk and move for the door of the office only to be stopped by a hand on her arm holding her back "Serena please" Bernie's whisper was desperate and shaky. This was the effect Serena had on her
"Bernie. I. I'm scared. I'm scared of what I feel for you, what that kiss meant to me. I'm scared my love life will become the gossip of the hospital. I couldn't bear that Bernie." Bernie turns so she's looking at Serena and looks down at the hand on her arm "Then there's Jason to consider. He and I are a package deal. Robbie and I broke up because of Jason and he was devastated I can't put him through that again"
"Serena I understand. I do. I know better than anyone about this hospital's rumour mill I experienced it remember. Yes I was angry at Dom, at everyone but then I realised I didn't need to hide anymore and it was freeing but yes I understand you're reasoning. I would never push you into revealing our relationship until you were ready and as for Jason I am well aware you're package deal. That doesn't matter to me. You're all that matters to me and when you're ready I'll be here. I promise." There was that soft smile. The same soft smile she had seen in the theatre last night. Bernie feels Serena's fingers tighten their grip on her arm. Bernie decides to take the plunge (again) and kisses Serena softly cupping the back of her head. It was just as like in that operating theatre but not as rushed or as fierce. It was loving and soft "I'll always wait for you" Bernie says pulling away from the brunette. "I'll tell Hanssen not to put that transfer through. After all the trauma unit needs it trauma lead and you need your co-lead. We'll figure this out. Together"