Disclaimer: I own nothing beside my crazy mind and my computer… and sometimes it's more them owning me…

Note: I was angry at the haters for calling Regina a rapist when we don't know what really happened with Graham. So this happened.

You are straddling him. He is tied up to the head of your bed, not making a sound. completely quiet. Good. You'll make him beg. Your rage is blinding you. He failed you like all the men in your life. But this time, right here, right now, you will take your revenge on all of them for what they did to you. For letting you down when you needed them the most. For taking advantage of you when you were innocent. You begin to rub him through his pants. Still not a sound. It's only when you move your hand to sneak into his pants that you hear him plead:

"Please don't…" you snap your head and lock your eyes in his.

That's where you see it: you see yourself, not so long ago, pleading, begging for another, for him, to stop.

Then you remember. You remember all you've been through. All he put you through. How ashamed you felt. How dirty you were even after a thousand baths. How hurting your body was. And the promise you made to yourself: to never inflict this pain on anyone, not even on your worse enemy.

You were used to your mother's magical discipline. But the pain of that particular punishement was nothing in compare.

"I'm…" what? Sorry? Would it even change anything? You quickly withdraw from his lap and snap your fingers to untie his bounds. Putting on a robe, you turn your back on him and head for the large window. Ashamed of how you've become.

"My guards will show you to your quarters now. You may go, Huntsman."

You almost forgot how kind this man is. You just ripped his heart out and yet…

"What happened to you, my Queen? You were going to… and then I saw in your eyes… What happened to you?" you hear him ask in a whisper as he comes closer to you.

And suddenly, you feel your emotions take control. You feel Regina coming back and the Evil Queen take a rest, fading away for a moment. Tonight, she'll allow you to be yourself. To be the Regina you were once…

"Sit down… please…" it's not an order. More like a request. "what do you know about me?" this isn't a tricky question. You want to know what your people say and think about their Queen.

"I know what everybody knows, even if I don't pay much attention to rumors and hearsays. I heard that you killed your loving husband, a kind King, leaving his beautiful daughter an orphan and now you want to kill her too because she stole something from you, you think she robbed your beauty and power. That is all I know… your Majesty." he breathes the last part, probably fearing for some punishment of any kind. You see him slightly relax as the expected pain doesn't come.

"My loving husband as you nicely put it, raped me night after night on our first year of marriage. He came into my chambers, unannounced, not even caring for what I was doing or what I wanted. He forced himself on me, whispering the name of another as he came inside of me. Then he would leave, looking at me with disgust, when he looked at me that is… You see, the kind king this whole kingdom loved was actually the most cruel, wicked and violent man behind closed doors.

You see the Huntsman quietly listen. You see caring on his face. Yes. He is an honorable man: crying over wounded animals, over preys. You turn your gaze away from him, not wanting to look him in the eyes. You know now that all you've been through wasn't your fault, but the shame you felt then is still very present now. The shame of letting it happen without fighting back.

"As time went by, his… visits… rarefied to once or twice a week then once or twice a month then a few months passed and I foolishly thought I was safe, that he grew tired of me, that he was fucking someone else. And I was happy that she was suffering instead of me, I knew I shouldn't have been, but I wasn't hurting anymore. Until that night… He was drunk. I was deeply asleep. I didn't hear him enter my chambers. It was the excrutiating pain that woke me up. I… He… I had to stay in bed for 3 days after that night…"

You take a deep breath, trying to take back the tears in your eyes, preventing them to fall. But only failing as you feel them roll down your cheeks, leaving a burning trail behind them.

You don't have time to add another word that your Huntsman kneels in front of you, putting his hands softly on your knees as a gesture of comfort. You remember that from another time. So long ago.

"Let me show you. Let me love you. Allow me this one single night to show you how it feels to be go to bed with someone who cares. We'll never speak of this again if that is your wish. But you shouldn't think that what you've lived is the only way to have someone, the only way to be loved. I can… I want to show you… if you let me…"

You search his eyes for deceit, mockery, treachery… But there is no sign of any of these… There is nothing but care in his eyes. Before you have time to think this through you feel your head nod, almost without your own accord.

He takes your hand and lead you to your bed, lying you down on it and softly kissing you. Feelings you lost long ago are coming back and a tear of joy escapes your eyes as you kiss him back.

—

In the morning, the first thing you think about is how good you feel. How good he made you feel. How good Daniel could have made you feel… You life should have been filled with this kind of feelings. A life with a stable boy is a far cry from a life as Queen. How right he was saying that back then… A life, a simple life, yes, but filled with love and devotion, far from all politics and arranged marriages and abusive husbands.

This life she ruined fo you. On that simple thought you feel the Evil Queen taking back her control and locking Regina again in a place too bright for her to handle in your heart. A place the Evil Queen rarely visits because it is there that you keep your love safe as the Evil Queen take reins of your hate. There is no point in thinking about the past. What has been done is done. Now it is time for revenge.

It is also time to get rid of the man in your bed. For once, you'll be the one to kick one out of it.

"Get up and get out of my chambers!" you yell at him, pushing him out of your bed with magic "and I trust you to never speak of this… moment of weakness… to ANYONE! You won't be visiting my chambers again. Now, !" this last part is said in a threatening growl. Something threatening enough to make him run away. But he doesn't. Instead he calmly grabs his clothes.

"Love isn't a weakness, Regina. It is the most powerful magic of all. It creates happiness. I sincerely hope that someday, somehow you'll find it and have your happy ending. You too deserve to be happy, your Majesty."

His words… they feel like sharp blades in your heart. And as a wounded animal, you react with the most violent venom you can think of.

"I took you for a wolf when you are merely a sheep. Now be a good pet and go to your doghouse! Tell the guards I don't want to be disturbed… by anyone!"

You stay cool until the doors close.

Then the mighty Evil Queen you are curls up in a ball and lets Regina cry over what she felt last night, over her lost life, over her lost True Love. She cries over Daniel and the life they should have had.