I don't mean to be a (bleep) to Rick Riordan, but sometimes I feel that there's that little something missing from the whole dating affair. So here's my version. Percy's POV.

I stood up and threw a ripe, juicy apple into the brazier. I went back to the Poseidon table.

Yet another lonely dinner for me.

I picked at my barbecue and stared at the woods. Is that a pair of hellhound eyes I see.

Nah. Must be my imagination.

I picked the drippy slab of meat up and bit into it. I gagged. Did the nymphs confuse the barbecue sauce with the maple syrup again?

"PERCY!"

Huh? Whoops. Too late.

I screamed as a hellhound four times larger than Mrs. O'Leary jumped on me.

Yes, not a single scuff on me, but invulnerable lungs didn't exactly come in a special package with the whole Achilles thing.

Ugh. Headache.

"Percy."

Oh, it's Annabeth.

"You okay?"

"Y-yeah."

"You passed out."

"Really? It thought the hellhound jumped on me AND then brought me here." I quipped.

She looked hurt.

I sighed. This is a long and stressful night.

"Can't get a joke, eh?"

Still looks hurt. Wow, really smooth, Jackson.

"I'm just worried, okay?!"

She stomped out of the room. I tried to run after her, but my headache disagrees.

I am in deep shit.

"Look, Annabeth, I didn't mean it!"

"Whatever! Get off my face, Jackson!"

That hurts, Annabeth.

I snooped around the Athena cabin. How can I get inside?

I just wanna talk to her. How did such a simple statement upset her?

"Need some help?"

The all-so-emotionless-and-mysterious Hephaestus kid, Sam Hatchkins was behind me. I only remembered her because she fixed my door once after Tyson broke it. Not that I look down upon them, but how could you expect me to remember over sixty names?

"Yep."

Just when I thought that she'd go all locksmith and stuff, Sam kicked the door down.

"You're welcome."

Peahead. Now I'm responsible for the fact that the cabin's door was kicked free of its hinges.

I looked in. Nobody inside.

I gave the empty cabin a taste of my colorful language and ran off.

"OW!"

Oh my gods. Am I swearing at an inanimate beanbag stuffed toy?

Never mind that.

I kicked the offensive M&M plushie around the room.

Oops.

I kicked the tiny microbeads and stomped on them. Annabeth... I couldn't even remember what we're fighting about! What the Hades is wrong with her?

"Perseus Jackson!"

I turned around sheepishly. "Uhhhh..."

"Did you just kicked the hell out of my plushie?"

"You own a plushie?"

"DIE, YOU EVIL SEA SPAWN!"

"I'M SORRY! I'M-OH MY GODS, HELP!"

I pushed the flailing daughter of Athena of me and pinned her on my bed.

"HELP ME! RAPE!"

I clasped a hand on her mouth. I guess it's that time of the month again. Believe me, she's scarier than Clarisse with PTSD.

"Will you shut up for a moment and let me explain?"

"EXPLAIN WHAT?!"

Her voice was muffled, but it still made me wince.

"Your... plushie?"

"NO! YOU PERVERT! HELP! R- ARGH!"

I fell on her as she pushed my arms off the bunk.

She wrapped her arms around me and smirked.

"Now that you destroyed my plushie, you're now my temporary teddy bear."

"Temporary?"

"Yes, and that is because I can't stand hugging a pervert for the rest of my life."

I raised an eyebrow at her. I grabbed her arms, pulled her off the bed and pinned her against the wall.

I kissed her fiercely and slipped my hands up her shirt. I moved my lips to her neck and she started screaming.

I ran my hands on the smooth skin on her back. I reached up and fiddled with her bra clasp.

Annabeth stopped screaming and looked at me with lust.

I ran my tongue over her lips, and she gladly opened her mouth. She moaned against my lips.

I pushed myself off her.

"Joking."

She glared at me and pushed me onto my bunk.

My mind fogged over as she ripped off my shirt.

What were we fighting about again?

Yes, I know, crappy fanfic. But I was too lazy to update my other stories. Please don't kill me yet. Laziness is already eating my conscience.