Sins of A Father
Spoilers for Season 2. Set during Episode 12 Sins of the Fathers after Nathan's conversation with Garland at the cemetery but before that cliff-hanger ending.
Nathan couldn't say that his father never praised him, no the Chief occasionally passed a remark that suggested that Nathan was something approaching acceptable, though these comments were mostly directed to others, an overhead "ah he's a fine boy" or "he'll make a good officer one day my boy." Garland wasn't heartless. But he didn't believe in spoiling children, and he wanted to make sure Nathan was tough enough to cope with the heavy burdens of his role and his affliction, so he was sparing in his praise, excruciatingly so.
Nathan could count those good times, the times when he caught The Chief praising him, on one hand, but the number of times his father had corrected him? That list was uncountable. He tried helping in the garden, his father scolded him for holding the shovel wrong. He brought home a wood-shop project from school and his father pointed out he'd forgotten to remove a pencil mark before lacquering it, or pointed bluntly asked, "What are you ever going to use that for?" with a dismayed look as if he was looking at further proof that his son was just a little bit too much of a dreamer, Nathan wanted to argue the teacher had picked the project but he knew it would make no difference. Growing up the Chief always remarked that Nathan was a bright boy, he just needed some common sense, and that was the problem, with the Chief common sense counted for everything, being a bit soft, a bit sensitive, counted for nothing, and good grades didn't please him though bad ones made him cross because he couldn't stand laziness so Nathan ended up feeling like he couldn't win.
As heartbroken as he was when he Chief passed, a small part of Nathan was relieved to no longer have to worry about having his father's critical eye watching everything he did, picking it to pieces like a teacher correcting his grammar. Then the impossible happened, and he got the chance to speak to his dead father, and what did he tell him? Don't fall in love with Audrey? Even after his death Nathan couldn't stop disappointing Garland, but maybe that was okay, maybe it was just something he had to accept. Maybe it was just part of life, and if it made him stronger, made him work harder, made him fight harder to protect her, to prove that he was worthy of her, then maybe it was okay.
Nathan would spend the rest of his life trying to prove himself to a dead man and maybe that was okay, because while he was trying to live up to Garland Wournos he still had a family, it wasn't a family you could invite over to for a Sunday grill or open presents with at Christmas, but the little voice in the back of his mind that told him he wasn't good enough was, oddly, affectionate, and with both of his parents in their graves Nathan Wournos has to make the most of the family that he had left – the obstinate, cantankerous old man complaining even from the grave, the sweet but too long gone mother it hurt to think about, and the living people who had filled in their places around his dinner table – Audrey, remarkable, passionate, kind-hearted Audrey, and, strangely, Duke, cavalier, easy-go-lucky, annoying, frustrating but seemingly inescapable, Duke.
A/N: Sorry I'm not writing at the moment (except for this, which isn't much) I'm not disappearing from the fandom, I'm as eager as ever for Season 3 and I want to get back into writing I just don't have the hours in the day at the moment. I should be able to do some writing in October and then after Christmas but hopefully some free time will pop up before then.