One Messed Up Story

by purduepup

PARODY. On Halloween night, Kagome is dared by her friends Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, and Rin to jump down her family's shrine well. However, when she doesn't return, they jump in after her…and then meet their past lives, break some jewel, and stir total chaos in both the feudal and modern eras? Not. Good.

1. Vol 1, Ch 1: The Accursed Youth

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or its volume/chapters in any way whatsoever… though I do wish the character Inuyasha owned me… *drools*

A/N: Hey, new story! *throws party* Anyways, this one's kind of confusing. It's technically what the series would've been like if things were different—aka, if Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, and some other characters existed in the present time as well as the past. There will be some things that are the same as the manga (which I'm basing the titles off of), and each chapter in this story will be like two chappies in the manga. Oh, and this is InuYasha/Kagome, Inuyasha/Kikyou, Feudal Miroku/Feudal Sango, Modern Miroku/Modern Sango, Modern Rin/Feudal Sesshoumaru, and Modern Rin/Modern Sesshoumaru with some InuYasha/Kikyou and Inuyasha/Kagome to spice things up. ;P

Summary: Kagome and her best friends have a Halloween party at the Higurashi Shrine. However, after hearing about the legend of the Bone Eater's Well, the guests force Kagome to go down. When she doesn't respond or come back up, Inuyasha goes in after her. When he doesn't show any sign of life and the flashlight's shined down in it, the remaining people realize they're missing. Technically, they all go into the feudal era, travel into a village, and Inuyasha's mistaken for someone else and pinned to a tree in which Kagome immediately frees him from, and she's claimed as the priestess Kikyou's reincarnation. But revenge-seeking, Naraku-hating Kikyou's not (entirely) dead, Kagome's pretty sure she's not a miko, and Inuyasha's past self is apparently a half-demon whom Kagome releases as well? Wait - there are two Inuyasha's, not to mention Miroku's, Sango's, and Shippou's? What madness is this? What are spiritual powers? WHAT'S GOING ON? Just let me tell you: it's only grows even more confusing along the way. And thus begins an unforgettable well-jumping spree in which time isn't of any essence when it comes to the Shikon no Tama and a group of teens whom have multiple identities they don't even understand themselves...

Warning! STRONG LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL HUMOR LIES AHEAD OF THESE CHAPTERS! O:

Note: Future/human Inuyasha is "Inuyasha" with a lowercase y whereas Sengoku-Jidai/half-demon InuYasha is "InuYasha" with a capital Y, like in the series' original title.

---

(Halloween Afternoon in Sengoku-Jidai Tokyo)

"Lady Kaede, tell us again!" begged one of the children of their small village. The group of huts was nearby rivers and nature of sorts, its most famous structure being a large forest that held a half-demon. The boy, Taru, implored once more, "Please!"

The aging Kaede sighed, but nonetheless smiled at the seven or so children gathered in her hut on this eerie night. "Ye never grow tired of the story of InuYasha," she muttered, and the kids grinned back cheekily. "I shall tell ye the tale once more.

"Fifty years ago, an inu-hanyou by the name of InuYasha came across this small village. He was the descendant of the Inu no Taishou and half-brother to the current Lord of the Western Lands. Very strong and feared, people kept their distance from the half-demon, for he was not merciful enough to spare even a child's life if they were in the way of that which he desired. He was selfish, ill-mannered, and untrusting of others. That is, until he'd come across my elder sister, the miko of this village—Lady Kikyou.

"Now, Kikyou was a wise child. Though quite gentle and silent, she was loving and strong. At the time, she was in charge of the famous Shikon no Tama, a jewel that demons and evil beings alike yearned for because of its ability to grant one's darkest desires. Lady Kikyou was assigned to purify it, thus she protected our village from demons during the day and healed the jewel during dusk. She had been out gathering herbs when she came upon InuYasha, though they did not kill each other. They would meet many other times, though Kikyou wasted many arrows by just pinning him to trees and never killing him off."

"That's ironic," Taru's twin, Tomo, snickered.

Kaede smiled and nodded in response. "It was long ago, on this day, but the event occurred during the evening. They had made an arrangement that would free Lady Kikyou of her duties as a miko and would make InuYasha's shame for being a hanyou go away: If InuYasha was to wish upon the jewel unselfishly, the Shikon no Tama would disappear and Kikyou would be an ordinary woman. Thus the two had decided that InuYasha should wish himself human so that he and Kikyou could pursue marriage together. My sister had been off to meet him early that afternoon with the jewel so they could carry out their plans when she was attacked by a figure oddly familiar to her—InuYasha."

Kaede grinned again when the children gasped in mock surprise. "He took the Shikon no Tama and promised her he would kill everyone within the village. Despite her wounds, Lady Kikyou made sure that this would never happen. She stumbled into the village in the middle of the chaos and came to forest clearing where Goshinboku resided. Once there, she aimed her arrow right as InuYasha passed and released when he was directly in front of the tree. From there, we regained the Shikon no Tama, but Kikyou would die soon after with the wounds she had obtained. We cremated her body on request, burning the jewel as well so she could take it with her to the next world.

"Fifty years have passed, and much has happened. Since Kikyou's death, I have become priestess of this quaint village while InuYasha has remained untouched since his pinning. Not too long ago, an evil ogress put together earth and bones to create my dear sister's body before calling back her soul. When Lady Kikyou's soul did come back from the afterlife, the first thing she did was defeat the ogress. Since then, she has discovered that what happened fifty years ago was not InuYasha's fault, but a ningen-turned-hanyou Naraku's. Since this realization, Kikyou has been traveling the lands searching for him, eager to undo the wrong that has been done to this world. She seeks to defeat Naraku in order for her and InuYasha's souls to move on and rest in peace."

"The doggy already looks peaceful to me!" a girl, Yumiko, insisted. "He looks so nice yet so tired! I don't think he's mean in any way!"

Kaede smiled and was about to answer when someone stepped through their small doorway. "I hope I'm not interrupting," her elder sister said, "but since tonight is a bloodthirsty one, I thought it'd be best to stay here and help protect the village."

The children gasped, though this time, it was out of pure shock. "Lady Kikyou?"

Kikyou smiled at them before sitting across from her younger yet much-older-than-she sibling. "I overheard your story. Would you mind if I replied to the girl's statement, sister?"

"Not at all, lady," Kaede insisted.

Kikyou grinned her soft smile again before turning towards the youngsters anxiously awaiting her words. "InuYasha may have died peacefully—though the reason to his mood eludes me—but somewhere within his soul, there still lingers hatred for me and what I had done. After all, I had, in a sense, betrayed him as he had I. Besides, if I ever do release him from the tree, he will be his old self, not a transformed, matured man." She stood abruptly, making her way to the door. "This is why I intend to overcome Naraku before moving on with InuYasha into the afterlife. Hopefully by defeating our common enemy, my love will be able to forgive me and oversee our mistakes, thus change for the better."

She was about to leave when a small murmur from the girl furthest from her, named Nori, reached her ears. "Why not free InuYasha from the tree now so that you can fight Naraku together?"

Everyone turned to Kikyou expectantly, and she felt some negative emotions arise. "Because," she whispered in an emotionless tone, "I have the feeling that if he wakes up now, he'll choose to live a normal life in this world. I have the feeling that if he wakes up…he will choose to not move on with me." And with that, the undead miko walked out of the hut, leaving a stunned audience in her wake.

After a period of silence, Tomo piped up, "Well, if she's back, then where's the jewel? Wasn't she supposed to guard it in death?"

"I do not know of its whereabouts," Kikyou answered from the doorway. They all fell over, taken aback from her sudden reappearance. She ignored this as she looked at her younger, alive sister in the eyes. "My soul has not yet been reincarnated since I am currently using it, so my reincarnation cannot have the possibility of holding it at the moment. If my theory is correct, it should be in the other world right now, waiting for InuYasha's and my reappearance. And once we are there, we will finally wish for the thing we've been wanting all these years."

"For InuYasha to be human," Kaede whispered to herself, though her sister overheard and nodded. Once more, Kikyou disappeared into the newborn twilight, walking off to her post at the Bone Eater's Well, and this time, it was obvious she wouldn't haphazardly return to Kaede's hut.

Kaede drowned herself in her thoughts of the whole story. It'd bothered her somewhat that Kikyou was unwilling to release InuYasha from the tree. At that, her elder sister also acted as if she hadn't ever loved InuYasha as an individual. Kikyou spoke of his foul behavior and hanyou blood as if they were raunchy and vulgar, though her tone did not show it. She almost always discussed him becoming human by using the jewel, and for some reason, it was more of the fact of him turning human than her doing what was right that was fueling her journey. Kaede thought this to be sad since her sister did have a good heart, but never showed it when it came to the subject of her old and first romance. Kaede had to wonder whether or not Kikyou truly did love InuYasha, or just forced herself to be with him since there was no one else around.

It grew quiet in the old miko's hut again. Then—

"Can you tell it again, Lady Kaede?" Taru implored yet another time. "Please!"

---

ONE MESSED-UP STORY

Vol. 1: "Turning Back Time"

Ch. 1: "The Accursed Youth"

---

(Halloween Evening in Modern-Day Tokyo)

"I love Halloween! I love Halloween!" Kagome sang as she shimmied a little on the ladder she was using. "I love Halloween! I LOVE HALLOWEEN! C'mon, Sango, sing it with me!"

The magenta-eyed brunette, Sango, gave her blue-eyed, raven-haired best friend a dumb look. "Kagome, you're really annoying me. I hope you know that— No, wait, that's probably why you're doing this."

Kagome huffed. "I didn't know you found offense in my singing," she muttered, finishing the final touches on her wall decorations for the spooky holiday. "Yay! I'm done!"

"Yippee," Sango said very unenthusiastically. Kagome's smile fell as her eyebrows furrowed, demanding an explanation. Sango only said one word—one that could define an entire essay of what happened. Sigh. "Miroku."

"That idiot!" Kagome proclaimed, stepping down from the ladder. "I swear, one of these days…"

Sango could find a million ways to end that sentence—that cut-off threat/promise—but decided to keep them to herself. "Hey, Kags," she began, readjusting one of Kagome's mother Saya's vases, "when is the gang supposed to be here?" And by "gang", she was referring to their friends Rin, Inuyasha, Miroku, Kagome's little brother Souta, and Souta's best friend Shippou.

Kagome tilted her head as she thought about it. Normally on Halloween night, she'd be out trick-or-treating with Souta, but since he'd suddenly grown out of it, she was going to have her first boy-girl sleepover with all her closest friends as the guests. Hecks, her mom even forced Jii-chan and herself out of the house so that Kags and the gang could have the best time ever. The guests were to arrive at the Higurashi Shrine at five o'clock, so—

Oh! Kagome rambled off the time to Sango, her assistant for this party, who checked the clock. "Well, we got everything cooked and the living room cleared," Sango told her, glancing at the door. "And it's ten 'til, and if my calculations are correct—" Kagome rolled her eyes at Sango's mock-nerd voice. "—and Miroku's guiding them all here, they should be here in 3, 2—"

Ding-DONG.

"GODS-DAMMIT!" Sango yelled, collapsing to her knees. "WHY?"

Kagome rolled her eyes again before walking over to the door. She swung it open and smiled brightly when she saw Inuyasha and Miroku waiting for her, the others coming out of Saya's sedan. Kagome's mother had promised to leave once dropping off their four friends. As Sango called for Souta to come down from his room, Kagome smiled cheerily at her friends. "Hi, Inuyasha, Miroku."

Miroku instantly grinned back. "Hello, Kagome," he said, then scanned the room until his eyes fell on Sango, who was glaring at him murderously. "Ah, well, excuse me, but there's business I need to attend to." With that, he trotted inside, sleeping bag and backpack in tow.

Kagome rolled her eyes playfully again before giving Inuyasha a warm greeting hug. She hadn't noticed how he at first stiffened before returning it happily. She pulled away (all too soon for Inuyasha) in order to take in his appearance. She frowned as she shook her head. "You're such a party pooper, Inuyasha. It's Halloween, and you're not even wearing a costume."

"Keh" was the black-haired, violet-eyed boy's response began with. "I did—this is my fucking costume." Kagome, who was dressed in miko attire, just rolled her eyes again. Inuyasha wondered how many freakin' times she could do that before her eyeballs popped out. He looked down at his red kimono he wore whenever he worked out at the local dojo, then glanced at a nearby mirror and took in the fake dog ears and white wig—everything was his brother's doing. He sneered as he remembered that Kagome asked they all dress like Feudal Era people just because she wanted to wear her freakin' miko outfit.

But Inuyasha participated for Kagome, not because he found it fun. Ever since he'd met her, he knew there was something off about her, and, well… He had a crush on her, okay? Nothing big, nothing small, just a normal crush between friends.

At least, that's what he told himself.

Inuyasha sighed inwardly. Shippou, who was dressed as a kitsune, scampered across the floor to Souta, who was in a traditional farmer boy's clothes. Sango, who was dressed in her family heirloom—a black and coral "demon slayer" outfit—ran away from Miroku, who'd decided to dress as a Buddhist monk so Kagome wouldn't be alone in the religion area. That, and he thought it was quite hilarious and ironic to be dressed as a spiritual being while rubbing Sango's bottom. Rin, like Souta, was also dressed in pheasant garb, though hers was an orange-checkered kimono with a green obi.

After feasting on pizza, the teens and smaller boys set up their sleeping bags in the living room, but they weren't going to bed anytime soon. Inuyasha was right beside Miroku and Souta while Kagome was right across from him with Sango and Rin adjacent to his companions; Shippou rested between Souta and Rin, the two besides Kagome that he got along with most. Kagome chirped, "What do you guys wanna do next? Movies, games, talk—"

"Truth or Dare," Miroku said menacingly. Rin and Sango raised doubtful eyebrows while Kagome just shrugged. He repeated, this time with Shippou and Souta, "Truth or—"

"Fine, we'll do it," Sango snapped, sending the boys hateful glares. They only high-fived each other as if they weren't being killed in Sango's imagination. "Rin, truth or dare."

"Truth, please," she answered as if she were at a restaurant.

"Do you like this newfound puppy-version of Inuyasha?" Sango bit her lip to hold in her laughter as Inuyasha glowered her way.

Rin tapped her chin before shaking her head. "Sorry, I'm not into bestiality. But as friends, if he let me touch his ears, then I'm sure we could get along…"

"You guys suck," Inuyasha said, though everyone easily overlooked him when Rin exclaimed, "Sango! Truth or dare?"

"Hey, that's not fair," Miroku pouted. He had, after all, suggested the game, and he hadn't even been able to go yet.

"Sucks to be you then," Sango murmured. "I choose dare."

Rin smirked sinisterly—a very un-Rin-like thing to do. "I dare you to confess your undying love for Miroku."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Sango yelled as Miroku whooped, "YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Finally! Miroku could get some! Sango groaned and mumbled, "I confess my undying love for you, Miroku…"

"Oh, Sango," he said, grasping his heart, acting touched. "I've been wishing for this day—"

"…when pigs fly," Sango finished with a simper.

"Well, that's okay," Miroku insisted with a wave of his hand. "It's not hard to glue wings to pork and they don't mind being thrown off buildings—"

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?" Sango exploded. By now, everyone was chuckling at their antics, and Kagome and Shippou were secretly high-fiving Rin. Sango huffed, sat down, and mumbled, "Lecher, you're out of the game." Miroku pouted at this new information. "Who'll go next?"

"Not me," Inuyasha muttered.

Sango batted her eyelashes. "Well, since you eagerly volunteered—"

"FUCK YOU!" Inuyasha yelled while pointing angrily at her. Kagome and Rin tumbled over with laughter while the men just shook their heads at his colorful language. Inuyasha hmphed and sat back down unwillingly. "Fine. Kags, truth or dare."

His choice of Kagome didn't surprise anyone. Everyone except Kagome knew he had feelings for her, but everybody minus Miroku knew just how deep they ran. Hecks, not even Inuyasha knew how strong his feelings were.

Kagome bounced excitedly in her seat. "Dare, dare, dare!"

Inuyasha blinked, trying to think of a good one. "I dare you to…"

"Jump down the well," Souta finished for him, and Inuyasha almost choked on air at the suggestion.

He glared at the small boy. Kagome could get hurt that way! he screamed in his mind. I'm not taking any fuckin' chances! "Kags, don't—"

"I'll do it!" Kagome hummed, always the optimist. "I bet you wanna see if the legend's real or not, eh, Souta?" Her brother smiled sheepishly, and she returned the expression. She explained to her friends, "The Bone Eater's Well says that whatever drops down there disappears on sight. Souta must want to get rid of me or something."

"Hey!" her brother whined. Kagome laughed and winked at her little brother before going to the doorway. Inuyasha sat, bewildered as everyone went to follow her, to witness what would happen when a schoolgirl jumped down a well. For a moment, Inuyasha was alone in the room, blinking senselessly, before what was happening finally hit him and he went into full-panic mode. As he ran to the well-house, he thought angrily, What kind of idiot dares someone to jump down a well? Oh, right—their younger brother. Inuyasha's fists tightened and wound themselves up. She could break an ankle or somethin', fuckin'— She could hit her head and fall into a COMA!

That made him even more frantic, and in less than five seconds, he was at the well-house as she sat on the rim, about to jump down to prove her brother wrong. "Kagome!" Inuyasha shouted, racing over to her.

Kagome, to say the least, didn't expect his utterance, and unconsciously shifted her weight. Then she didn't feel herself sitting on the well anymore as she fell straight into a blue and purple array of streaks, lighting, and stars.

Inuyasha screamed into the well, "KAGOME!" Everyone else stared down the wooden structure, hearing their friend's yells echo back at them. Wow. They didn't think it was anything to freak out over, and yet here was Inuyasha, carrying on as if she was in life-threatening danger.

Which she may have been, because she wasn't answering.

Without saying anything except Kagome's name, Inuyasha jumped down the well after her. He expected to land on the soil—or, sadly, Kagome—but instead, felt himself flying. Wha—? He looked around to see a starry sky filled with cool colors, stars, and designs alike. What's going on?

"Well…," Miroku slurred after they'd called down the well for the tenth time. "I'm beginning to think they're not there." Sango and Rin gave him a blank look at that, and he shivered. "Do not grow angry with me." He finally flashed their only source of light down the well. "I'm sure that they're—"

"GONE!" Sango, Rin, Souta, and Shippou shrieked. Rin wheezed, "Oh, my Gods, they're gone!"

Miroku blinked a few times before looking down the contraption himself. Sure enough, there wasn't an Inuyasha or Kagome. "Well," he whispered, "I'll be damned."

"You better be!" Sango screeched, forgetting that Souta was to blame, not Miroku. "WHERE ARE THEY?"

"Now, calm down, my sweet Sango," Miroku insisted, deciding right now would not be the best time to feel her up. "I'm sure they're safe—"

"IT MUST LEAD TO SOMEWHERE!" Rin gasped. Everyone traded quick glances before running into the house to grab supplies such as clothing and food for their little adventure. Where had Inuyasha and Kagome gone? They didn't know, but they were about to find out. And just in case things went awry, they'd be prepared.

(~(^(~(^)~)^)~)

"Ugh, what happened?" Kagome groaned once the blue lights were gone. Her head hurt like heck from all the dizziness inside of that tunnel-thing, and she looked up from the well, where she'd fallen. Did I hit my head? Kagome wondered as she began climbing up the wooden wall with the help of a vine, forgetting that her well-house had a roof, not a setting sky, much less its own vegetation. "Guys!" she grunted as she hoisted herself on the lip. "Inuyasha! I'm okay-ay-ay-AY?"

There, before her, was a great amount of forest, and besides that was a large area of water and grass similar to her country's farmlands. "Um…" Where am I? What happened? Her thoughts turned calmer as milliseconds passed. "Okay," she told herself out loud, though she knew it was unhealthy. "If I'm at the well, then I just have to navigate my way back home, that's all." She brushed herself off before heading to the west, where her house would be located.

Inuyasha emerged from the well shortly after her. What's going on? He couldn't help thinking of all the possibilities. Why am I in a forest? Kagome doesn't live anywhere near a forest, unless you count some trees near the shrine gates. Clenching his fists, he took off into the forest until he reached a clearing of a large tree. He walked up in front of and stared at it in total marvel. Finally—it looked like Goshinboku, that stupid old tree on the shrine grounds, but this one didn't have white papers tied around it and it didn't have a small fence. This one looked…younger?

"INUYASHA!"

He turned around and was pierced in the chest by something sharp. He didn't focus on the pain, however; instead, he gazed in complete shock at the sight before him. She looked slightly different—her eyes held more sadness than light, and her hair was straighter and longer—but he was sure of what he was seeing: a miko with a bow, missing her arrow. She'd hit him with an arrow, hadn't she? Kagome… was his last thought before drifting off into a slumber.

Meanwhile, Kagome kept walking, turning right a few times, before something caught her attention—something red and white. Inuyasha! Kagome thought with utter relief. She ran ahead, gasping the whole way, "Inuyasha, I'm so sorry! Do you know what's going on, or—" She cut herself off at the sight before her.

A boy her age—a boy who just looked like Inuyasha. Except this Inuyasha wasn't awake and screaming like he'd been a few minutes ago; this one was asleep and wrapped in vines, tied to what she recognized as Goshinboku. He looks so…peaceful, Kagome thought in awe. She slowly walked up to the tree, gazing at him with astounded eyes. Of course, she'd seen him in the costume before, but for some reason, right now, she was really admiring it, almost thinking he was…attractive.

Kagome shook her head furiously at the thought, blaming the newfound setting and his relaxed features for its arrival, before climbing up the vines. She considered bonking him on the head, but since Inuyasha looked so peaceful, she didn't want to disturb him. But, those ears must've been so uncomfortable… She bit her bottom lip as she grasped the dog ears and tugged them gently, trying to get the headband off.

It didn't come off.

Believing herself to be delusional, she tried again. Befuddled, Kagome tried for a second time. Unsatisfied, she did it another time. Officially freaking out, she did it once more. Still no use. She blinked rapidly before coming to the conclusion that he must've glued them on, the sly dog. (No pun intended.) She laughed as she gave the dog ears a good yank, and was welcomed by amber eyes.

"Kikyou…," he growled murderously. "YOU BITCH!"

Kikyou jumped when she heard a voice she hadn't heard since death. InuYasha…?

She turned back to Goshinboku, running at top speed. She stumbled slightly, but grew more confused to see him pinned, just as she left him. Just moments ago, she didn't know how, but he'd escaped the bond—and she re-pinned him. She'd never stepped in Goshinboku's clearing before, afraid to have the urge to awaken him, but tonight, when she'd gone on patrol, she saw him, hit him, and he gave her the most shocked, hurt look.

It was just like that night.

She sighed furiously when she saw him there. At least he hadn't escaped her grasp—

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" a feminine voice demanded. Kikyou jumped in place again, scanning InuYasha for any movement. He hadn't moved an inch. Why—?

"Don't play dumb with me—Kikyou!" He spat her name like venom. Kikyou walked slowly towards the other side of the tree as she listened to the argument escalate.

"My name is not Kikyou," the girl said once more. "It's Kagome. Why in the hecks would I be this Kikyou person? Where am I? Why won't your ears come off? Why don't you recognize me?"

Kikyou had now made it to the other side of the tree to see InuYasha's irritated expression. "Kikyou, you're—" He took a few sniffs before realization dawned on his face. "You're not her…"

"Told you," the girl huffed. Kikyou took in her features only to be surprised that the girl looked exactly like her, except her eyes were fiercer, lively, her hair bouncy, wavy, and lustrous. She was slightly younger than Kikyou, maybe fifteen, whereas Kikyou died around seventeen.

InuYasha still looked stunned, but managed to growl at her. "Why the fuck are you asking me all these questions? Wench, I don't know you, and I don't know who you are!"

"Did you just say the same thing twice?" the girl, Kagome, questioned.

InuYasha sighed. "Does it matter?"

"No," Kagome answered honestly. "But how did we get here?"

"WENCH, THERE AIN'T A 'WE'!" he yelled, glaring her down with deadly eyes.

Surprisingly to Kikyou, Kagome wasn't frightened. If anything, she was pissed. Inuyasha was denying their friendship? "GRRRRRR!" she shouted out in frustration. "I hate you, Inuyasha!"

That made both Kikyou and InuYasha stiffen. Kikyou was a little shocked InuYasha hadn't caught her scent yet, but then again, she did smell of a grave and not her usual self. InuYasha was also caught off-guard. Being awakened from a sleep that was supposed to last forever by someone who wasn't the one who sealed you was kind of confusing. And at that…

The bitch knew his name.

"I don't care!" he screamed some more. "Why are you even here? Wench, this is my tree! That means 'no touching'!"

"What are you talking about?" Kagome asked incredulously. "You idiot! You know just as well as I do that this tree is on my family's shrine! If anything, it's mine!" Wait, why was she even arguing with him? She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Gods, I'm so confused. First of all, you're stuck to a tree. Second, your ears won't come off. And third, your eyes changed color."

InuYasha was about to say something when Kikyou decided to intervene. "Excuse me…"

The half-demon's head turned to the sound of her voice while Kagome gasped at the similarities between herself and the woman also in miko garb. There's another me! Kagome thought even more recklessly as InuYasha's eyes softened then hardened in remembrance. Kikyou…

"I truly hope I'm not intruding," Kikyou said solemnly, "but I'm wondering how you broke his seal?" Kagome tilted her head. Kikyou grew more curious. Was the girl unaware of InuYasha's predicament? But she knew InuYasha, didn't she? "Fifty years ago, I pinned InuYasha to this tree, yet never stepped nearby the area. However, the moment you came here, he awakened. Would you mind explaining that?"

Kagome blushed in embarrassment. "I… I don't know. What's a seal? What's happening? I'm so confused!"

"Ugh…" The three looked around at each other, though InuYasha could not move his head, searching for the source. "Fuck, that hurts… Who the fuck attacks someone with an arrow?"

"Inuyasha!" Kagome cried, running over to the other side of the tree while Kikyou flushed from embarrassment. Wait… The other voice was InuYasha? Kikyou looked at the hanyou staring angrily at her, and then she walked over to the other side to see an excitedly anxious Kagome. "Oh, gods, how did you get pinned? Why is there a guy who looks just like you on the other end?"

Kikyou was very, very confused. InuYasha, a frozen bystander, was even more baffled.

"There's another guy like me?" Inuyasha asked, so happy to see Kagome despite her pinning him to— No, wait, the woman who just appeared next to Kagome was the bitch who shot him to a tree. He glared at her. "You!"

Kikyou blinked before grinning softly. "This is indeed an odd sight."

"Is your wig bothering you? What about the ears?" Kagome asked, removing them for him. Kikyou blanked out at the sight of a human who would've easily passed for InuYasha were he differently genetic. Kagome glimpsed at the arrow, then looked back at Kikyou, who indiscreetly hid her bow behind her back. "You shot him?" Kagome asked in disbelief.

Kikyou laughed nervously—surprising herself by feeling apprehension, an insecure emotion a miko was never meant to feel. She'd never felt so young, but being around this girl, just now… She felt young. Like she was finally experiencing normality and such, since no villager would speak to her the way this girl was—since no one, not even InuYasha, had arisen anxiety in her before. "Whoops," Kikyou said tensely, still wondering how the Inuyasha's were freed from their seals. "Let me remove it—"

"Nah, I got it," Kagome said, grasping the arrow. And just like that, it turned into pure light, shining with spiritual power before fading into air.

After Inuyasha fell from the tree and flat on his face, Kagome looked scared. She turned back to Kikyou with a remorseful expression. "I'm sorry," she whispered guiltily. "I didn't mean to make your arrow vanish or anything. It just…happened."

Kikyou stood there, catching flies with her mouth. Then she turned back to Kagome, who still looked blameworthy, and the boy with the same name yet slightly different appearance than InuYasha. Kikyou hummed, "Follow me, strange miko and man. There is much to discuss."

As Kagome and Inuyasha followed Kikyou, not knowing what the hell was going on, InuYasha grumbled behind them. "OI! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED OVER THERE?"

---

A/N: Yes. They really did leave InuYasha pinned on the tree. -.-, Oh, and I'm adding deleted scenes to each chapter; they're moments that would've happened, but I decided not to (or didn't think of putting in there). They're the scenes that would've made this story even more messed-up, honestly. o.O

DELETED SCENES!

(Scene 1, Kagome's Living Room)

Kagome bounced excitedly in her seat. "Dare, dare, dare!"

Inuyasha blinked, trying to think of a good one. "I dare you to…"

"Drink from the toilet," Souta finished for him. Everyone stared at him, wide-eyed from the suggestion.

After a moment of silence, Kagome spoke, motioning to Inuyasha. "Wouldn't that be dog-boy's job?"

Inuyasha glared at her, and then all of their amused friends. "I hate every fucking one of you."

(Scene 2, Goshinboku)

Believing herself to be delusional, she tried again. Befuddled, Kagome tried for a second time. Unsatisfied, she did it another time. Officially freaking out, she did it once more. Still no use. She blinked rapidly before coming to the conclusion that he must've glued them on, the sly dog. (No pun intended.) She laughed as she gave the dog ears a good yank, and—

RIP. "YOWWWWWWWWWWW!"

The glue wore off and she stood on the vines with two fake dog ears in her grasp.