Chapter One: Matthew and Mary come in from the cold, newly engaged.
Matthew spun Mary round in his arms, clinging to each other in utter glee at the thought that finally, they were allowed to be like this with each other. She thought back to all the other times she wished she could have embraced him as she was now. Before he had left for the war, when he had appeared at the concert after having gone missing, when he learned he could walk again. If only she had been able to hold him, kiss him, laugh with him, cry with him as she was now. But none of it mattered anymore. He was hers. She was his. The past was past.
As they came to a halt, she pulled her face from his shoulder to look at him, confirming that the tears in her eyes were in his as well. They shared a smile between them that they had clearly been holding back for years, waiting for this moment of such pure happiness. Without putting her down, or releasing even an inch of his tight hold of her waist, they kissed. As they did, Matthew slowly set Mary back down to the snowy ground. As her feet connected with the earth, they parted.
"We should probably move back inside," Matthew said, his voice quiet and still full of love.
"What, already?" Mary asked in a tone that even she was surprised to hear from herself. Matthew laughed a little at her giddiness and impatience. "I only mean that…" but what did she mean? She let the thought die to replace it with its truth: "I'm so perfectly happy."
Matthew caressed her cheek, moving an odd strand of hair behind her ear.
"Me too." he said. Mary leaned up and gave him a sweet but lingering kiss. She could hardly contain herself. The prospect of this event had only minutes ago felt an impossibility. Now it was a reality. She had waited so many years to correct her mistake of turning him down. And now she had. All the fantasies she had had of a future with Matthew, growing old together, having children together, they no longer had to be cast aside as fancy.
"I love you so much, you know." Mary surprised both herself and Matthew at being the first one to say it aloud, but it had been a night for surprises anyway. Besides, it was a declaration so obvious that to waste one more second without saying it after years of wanting to seemed ridiculous.
Matthew's smile widened, his large blue eyes flooding with fresh tears of joy and comfort.
"I love you," he answered, not as a response, but as if he were the one to say the words first. Mary brought a gloved hand to his cheek and gently caressed it. He reached up and held it to his face before taking it and kissing her palm gently.
Out of the corners of their eyes, the pair noticed candles going out throughout the front hall of the house. The ball was winding down, everyone was off to bed. Night was creeping through the house.
Matthew looked down at his future bride.
"Darling, you're shivering." He said in vague alarm, immediately slipping off his jacket to place around her shoulders.
"Am I? I hardly noticed." Mary replied with a small laugh. She was still so winded at the idea of what had just happened, what was happening.
Matthew led her back into the house, where there was no longer a soul to be seen in the now vacant front hall. The two parted and stepped away in either direction of the room, somehow feeling unsure of expressing intimacy whilst under the roof of her family.
"Everyone must've gone to bed," Mary observed. She turned back to Matthew, unsure if he would take this invitation offered by their solitude, unsure if it even was an invitation.
"Sounds like the right idea. Perhaps we should say goodnight." Matthew said, though with great reluctance. His propriety was clearly in direct conflict with his desires, both noble and otherwise.
"I suppose," Mary began, not wanting to seem too eager, "if you think so. It is getting rather late."
Matthew seemed crestfallen at her agreement. Even now they were no experts at taking the initiative.
"Quite right. Well…I'll be off home then…" he began, regaining his composure. He moved to Mary to retrieve his jacket from her.
"I'll call the car round for you."
"Oh no, please. It's far too late, and after the servants just had their ball? Hardly holiday cheer to ask them to resume duties now."
"But you can't possibly walk back to the village in this snow, you'll catch cold. Or worse, even."
Matthew laughed. "So what do you suggest we do, then?" He moved closer to her.
"I suppose…I suppose you could stay here. It'd be less trouble to get a room ready than it would be to call the chauffeur if that's what you're worried about." She said, smiling at the opportunity to tease him, which he gladly accepted.
"If that's what you want." Matthew said with a coy smile, his voice low and steady.
"I think it's what's best," Mary's face softened, "I couldn't have you ill on our first official day of engagement. I won't face Papa alone while you're holed up in bed with a cold."
Mary moved to the edge of the room and pulled the chord to ring for a staff member. Matthew approached her slowly.
"Heavens. We couldn't have that, could we?" Matthew said with a snarky grin that Mary greatly appreciated. He closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Very well. I'll stay." He whispered.
"There's no need to be quite so smug." She said teasingly.
"On the contrary," he kissed her lightly on the lips, "I've gotten Lady Mary Crawley to agree to marry me, haven't I? So in fact I think I am quite entitled to some measure of smugness."
"Touché." She whispered before kissing him, this time deeper, with a clear point to be made. Matthew could sense the kiss becoming more and more intense, and made the sensible decision to stop it before it went past the point of return.
"I think it's time I headed off to my quarters, you to yours." Matthew said, pulling away slightly.
"Indeed. There's plenty of time for everything." Mary moved away, remembering herself and doing her best to restore the cool demeanor her status required of her, but still, she could not completely wipe the school-girl grin off her face.
At that moment, Carson appeared. He was halfway into his pajamas, but retained the dignity he worked so hard to impose. Mary smiled at the sight of him, but wondered if it was too early to tell him. It was important to her that he be one of the first to find out.
Carson took in the situation: Mary and Matthew alone in the hall grinning like absolute idiots.
"You rang, Lady Mary?"
"Yes, Carson, could you trouble someone to fix a room for Mr. Crawley? It's far too late to call a car and I insist he not walk home in this weather. Surely there's a bedroom for him?"
"Of course, m'lady." Carson replied with a knowing smile. He was steadily beginning to put some pieces together. Perhaps he hadn't figured yet that they were engaged, but there was definitely something different. He hadn't seen Mary smile like this in…well, probably her whole life. At least, certainly not any moment in the company of Richard Carlisle.
"M'lady, if I may say so, none of the staff is quite in their right mind at the moment, so if Mr. Crawley wouldn't object, I would be happy to assist him myself." Carson would rather perform duties beneath him than risk any embarrassment for the house with an inebriated valet.
"That would be splendid, I'm sure." Mary answered, looking to Matthew to confirm.
"It would be an honor, Mr. Carson." Matthew said with kindness. Carson bowed his head slightly in thanks. He turned his head up and noticed that the two young people could hardly keep their eyes off of each other. He knew the look well. This was his cue to let them have a moment alone.
"Very good, my lady. I shall be upstairs preparing a room if you need anything more."
Carson disappeared. Matthew walked Mary over to the staircase that led to her section of the house. She began to ascend, but stopped and turned to him.
"Tomorrow we'll tell everyone. First thing. They'll think it's strange enough that you've spent the night."
"I don't think I could wait longer than that anyway. I'm bursting to shout as we speak."
She smiled. "So am I." She took a few slow steps down the stairs toward him for one final kiss goodnight.
"Tonight, if I'm able to sleep at all…it will be the first good sleep I've had in many years," she said.
"Me too. Just imagine what it will be like when we can wake beside each other."
With that, he removed the glove from her left hand and kissed the back of her palm before watching as she slowly made her way up the stairs, every step or so stealing a glance back at him. They were still beaming.
As Mary made her way hurriedly down the corridor to her room, she passed Anna coming out of Lady Edith's bedroom.
"Lady Mary are you turning in for the evening?" she asked.
"Anna! Exactly who I was looking for. And yes, I am."
"I was just on my way to check if you were upstairs yet or not."
Anna went to open the door to Mary's room, but she beat her to it. She pulled Anna into the room and slammed the door shut in excitement.
"Is everything all right, m'lady?" Anna said, winded and frankly a little worried. Then she noticed the enormous grin on Mary's face.
"I can't hold it in anymore. I'm bursting to tell someone." Mary said, pacing around the room.
"What is it?" Anna said, eager and a little flustered.
"Matthew and I…" she began but hardly knew how to put it into words, "We're engaged!"
Anna yelped with joy and surprise, a nice feeling when her own troubles were weighing so heavily on her. It was nice to hear good news from someone. The two young women embraced like young girls, not as mistress and servant but as the very close friends that they were.
"Oh, m'lady! Congratulations!"
Mary sat on her bed where Anna joined her, looking for the story.
"So…what happened?" she asked. Mary laughed and began to regale Anna with the events of the last half hour.
"Oh, Mary. I'm so happy for you," Anna said, hardly noticing the lapse in formality with the way she addressed her friend, taking her hand and squeezing it in encouragement.
"Well, then…I suppose neither of us will be going to America after all." Mary said. After a moment, she and Anna burst into inexplicable laughter, relishing the feeling of something to smile about after a holiday season of such melancholy.
Matthew handed Mr. Carson his shirt as he finished dressing for bed in the mirror. The young man had been unusually silent, Carson noticed. However, he kept a quiet smile, as if he were lost in his own thoughts. Out of his own curiosity (and a certain amount of his loyalty to Mary) Carson felt it appropriate to investigate.
"I see you and Lady Mary are on rather pleasanter terms," Carson prodded.
"Yes, I dare say we are." Matthew said with that same secret, knowing smile.
Carson felt a kind of paternal instinct toward Mary, and he knew how often this man had broken her heart. He was in no mood to play coy games with the gentleman.
"Mr. Crawley, would you allow me to speak frankly with you?"
Matthew was a bit struck by the words, but he was too happy to really consider them.
"Certainly, Mr. Carson."
"Lady Mary is very dear to me. With no disrespect to his Lordship, I consider her to be a rather daughter-like figure in my life. Therefore, it is of great importance to me that she be made happy…"
Carson trailed off a bit as he noticed Matthew beginning to laugh.
"Mr. Crawley, if I may say, the matter I speak of is not intended to be taken lightly."
"No, no of course not," Matthew replied, suppressing his laughs. "It's only…Mary will have my head if she isn't the one to tell you."
"If there is something you feel I should be privy to, I should hope you would feel comfortable enough to say so." This was Carson's best effort at remaining dignified without giving away his utter suspense.
"Well, Carson…You see…the fact of the matter is…" a smile spread across his face in quiet relief that he could finally say it aloud to someone, "Lady Mary and I are engaged to be married."
Carson's face went blank. It was instantly replaced by a jolly grin.
"Congratulations, dear fellow!" he said, holding out his hand which Matthew shook. "How wonderful indeed."
"Thank you, Carson. But I must ask that you try to act surprised tomorrow, for Mary's sake…and mine, I suppose. I don't want her to be cross with me quite so soon."
"Understood, Mr. Crawley. Perfectly understood."
By now, Matthew was in his night clothes and prepare for bed. Carson realized this and resumed his post.
"Will you be requiring anything else this evening, Mr. Crawley?"
"No, thank you, Carson. I think I'm quite fixed."
"Very good, sir. Have a pleasant sleep."
Matthew nodded in thanks. Carson gathered the discarded clothes and moved toward the door, but stopped himself just before leaving. He turned back to Matthew, who stopped to acknowledge him.
"Congratulations again, sir. We've all been rooting for it. All these years." Carson smiled politely. Matthew reciprocated.
"Thank you, Carson."
With that, the butler disappeared out the door. Matthew turned down his covers and crawled into bed. Across the house, Mary was doing the same having said goodnight to Anna. As they laid their heads on their pillows, they turned to look beside them, imagining the other laying there. Within moments, Matthew and Mary fell asleep to dream of each other and the future that lay before them. It seemed everything had finally fallen into its proper place. Life could begin now.