Strongly Worded Letter
Dear Unimaginative Writers of Fanfiction,
I am a freak. I dress in pink feathers and can control people's bodies with just the dainty twinkle of my fingers…Does that not scream KINKY to you? I am such an awesome character, but there's only 43 stories about me…seriously? Out of the five digit number of One Piece fanfictions, I only get 43 starring roles?
And all you've done there is pair me up with either Crocodile or Mihawk.
Really? Those two?
Out of all the strange and fun characters of the show, you can't see past Mr. Sandman and Mr. Creepy Eyes? They are the two most boring Shichibukai! You might as well pair me up with that Bible-thumping Kuma! Come on, people, give me someone good!
And no Mary-Sues, or the male equivalent of them either. I'm a kinky bastard – I don't care if you pair me with a guy or a girl, just make sure they're fun and into some weird shit. No relationships please – that's too much drama. I just want a good time.
I don't care if I've never met them before – I'm a Shichibukai, dammit! I can go wherever the hell I please. So pair me up in a completely noncannon way – that chick Bonney looked like she knew how to have a good time, or maybe that leopard guy, Lucci, if he's not dead.
So please, writers, for the love of Oda and all that is holy, let me have some fun!
Sincerely,
~Doflamingo
I was looking at the number of Doflamingo fics, and there are seriously only 43 (44 now that I've added mine lol). I thought he'd be a little pissed off about that so I let him write you all a letter. Hope you liked it!