Emma parked the car on the quiet street in front of their grey, Victorian style, white picket-fenced house and turned off the engine. She turned to look in the backseat at little Hope, confirming that the two-month old had indeed fallen asleep in her carseat just minutes before they had arrived home.
"Impeccable timing, as always," said Killian, winking at Emma as he noted Hope's unconscious state.
"Yeah," Emma sighed tiredly. "I really wanted to feed her one more time before bedtime. I feel like I'm going to burst."
"Well," Killian replied, "perhaps we can convince her to wake up and have a go at a late supper. I'll get her."
He gave Emma an encouraging nod and a small, warm smile, which was enough to pull her out of her exhaustion so that she could exit the driver's side door.
Killian got out of the passenger's side and opened the back seat door of their sensible, family-friendly SUV (they'd bought it shortly before Hope was born, but Emma still used her trusty yellow Bug for any errands she ran sans-baby, and tonight it sat in the driveway cheerfully greeting them.) Killian gently disconnected Hope's carseat from the base so that he could carry it and her inside. Emma preceded Killian and Hope up the front steps, unlocked the front door, and kicked off her heels with a sigh.
"Oh thank the lord," she breathed. "That was enough grand royal coronation-ing for me for, well, ever. Or I guess until we have to crown little Neal king...or Henry...or whoever. I still don't really get how all of this works now." She shrugged out of her leather jacket and handed it to Killian, who reached for it after he set Hope down in the foyer and removed his own long coat. He hung his coat and her jacket in the closet before carefully removing his boots and placing them neatly by the front door.
"Well," Killian replied as he picked up Hope again and moved her into the warmth of their living room, "and I can't believe I'm saying this, hopefully our benevolent Queen Regina will rule for many happy years, so that we don't have to attend another such pompous event for a long long time."
Emma grinned at him in response as she followed him, then looked down at her beautiful, sleeping little girl in the carseat and weighed the cost of disturbing her against the current aching in her milk-swollen breasts. "Nobody ever tells you about the complicated logistics of this breastfeeding stuff," Emma complained.
"I don't know," smirked Killian, "I feel like your mother tried to warn us a bit."
"Yeah," Emma countered, "but Snow White always puts the most beautiful, positive spin on everything. I could have used more warning about all the excruciating pain and these Catch-22 decisions about whether to wake a peaceful baby now or deal with her in an hour when she's hungry." She rolled her eyes, then smiled as Hope stirred a bit and opened her tiny mouth in her lightly sleeping state. "Okay," she decided. "A late supper it is."
"All right, love," Killian replied, snapping into breastfeeding-support crew member mode. "Would you like to do it down here or go upstairs to the bedroom so that you can change first?"
Emma eyed the steps tiredly in response.
"I have it!" Killian proclaimed. "You get started here on the couch, and I'll run up to fetch your pajamas so that you can get comfortable down here. Sound good?" Emma smiled and nodded gratefully. "Would you like some herbal tea or water?" he asked before he set off.
"Tea would be great," she replied, wistfully thinking how good hot chocolate sounded right about now, but the last thing she needed was extra sugar or caffeine just before she had a chance to grab some much-needed sleep.
Killian nodded, stole a quick glance down at Hope, and moved to put the kettle on. Emma placed Hope's carseat next to the couch, then grabbed her downstairs nursing pillow from the corner armchair and brought it over to the sofa. Then, she looked down and contemplated her pale pink, spaghetti-strapped formal gown. She'd chosen the simple style in the hope that she might get a chance to nurse Hope at the party that followed Regina's coronation as queen of the merged realms, but the size of the occasion and her new role as (symbolic, she kept trying to insist) sheriff of a much bigger kingdom made it difficult for her to find any quiet time at the party.
Emma's parents, Snow and Charming, who were known and loved throughout the realms, and Regina, who had been elected Queen, had worked hard to provide assurance to subjects from all over that the central governing council and realm support services, like the sheriff's department, would help them smoothly manage the transition to their new state of unity. That didn't stop everyone from having a thousand questions for Sheriff Emma Swan and her husband, Deputy Killian Jones, about exactly how law enforcement was going to work in practice in the new realm, as each land was used to its own very different brand of law (or lawlessness, Emma thought, picturing the jungles of Neverland with a grimace.)
People were polite enough to Emma at the party. Most of the residents couldn't help but spend a minute or two gushing over baby Hope before peppering her parents with their lists of questions. Henry, Ella, Tink, and Snow had eagerly taken turns holding Hope while Emma and Killian mingled and tried to assuage everyone's fears. Henry and Ella had even managed to grab a few minutes at the end of the party, as Killian and Emma were starting to say their goodbyes, to get Hope a fresh diaper and change her from her frilly party dress into the cozy one-piece sleeper patterned with tiny yellow ducklings that she wore now. Their attempts to feed her at the hectic party, however, had proven futile, as Hope was still a bit picky about where (and from-whom) she would take a bottle.
So, Hope hadn't really eaten in hours, since Emma had squeezed in a quick feeding after work and before getting dressed for the party, and Emma hadn't nursed or pumped, meaning that she now had a swollen chest that was going to make shrugging out of a zipped formal gown difficult. Just as she was about to turn and call for her husband, he appeared beside her, having anticipated her needs as he so often did.
"Do you require my services, getting out of that dress, darling?" he smirked, unable to resist flirting with her despite the very unsexy reason for her need to be unzipped.
"Please," she replied, turning her back to him and lifting her hair. He placed his (baby-proofed) hook on her lower back and slowly unzipped her dress with his right hand, leaning down to lightly kiss her shoulder as he did so.
"So romantic," Emma joked, even as she felt the goosebumps on her arms and shoulders, and the familiar stirring low in her belly that was starting to return more and more often despite her newborn baby and accordant physical challenges and hectic life.
Killian chuckled with his lips still on her shoulder and then placed an additional firm, slightly sloppy kiss just to the right of the first. She turned to face him and grinned.
"All right?" he said, eyes twinkling with love and mischief, "you two okay if I run upstairs?"
"Yep, good to go," Emma replied as he turned toward the stairs. She shrugged out of one strap of her gown and leaned down to unbuckle and pick up her sleeping daughter. Hope stirred lightly as Emma removed the carseat straps and gently lifted her, but she did not wake up. Emma gathered her into the crook of her right arm as she grabbed her nursing pillow with her left hand and placed it in her lap, resting her right arm and the sleeping infant it cradled upon it. Hope sighed contentedly, her round cheeks and button nose the picture of cuteness, and nestled into Emma's arm.
Emma sighed and said "Sorry, kid, but you have to eat before bed and I've got to get rid of some of this milk before I burst. We need each other!" She smiled and and stroked Hope's head with her left hand, then tickled her chin and talked to her a bit, murmuring to the sweet girl about how she'd been the hit of the party. Finally, she gently opened Hope's mouth with her index finger, triggering a suckling reflex, which must have awakened an awareness of hunger in the baby, because she opened her eyes briefly and began to make an effort to suck Emma's finger.
"Okay, good girl," Emma breathed. "Just gimme a sec."
She moved the infant up to her right breast and let her root for a moment. Hope woke up a bit more and latched. For a few seconds, Emma celebrated internally, anticipating the release of pressure, but then she realized with a sharp, stinging pain that Hope had latched onto too little of her nipple, and that it was going to hurt like hell if she let her do the whole feeding like this. Emma gently pulled back, disconnecting the latch, then adjusted herself and her, now more awake, daughter into a more comfortable position, with more of her nipple in the baby's mouth. She sighed again as Hope started to feed in earnest and the soreness in Emma's chest abated.
"That's better, kid" she said quietly. "Nobody likes to feel like they're getting needles pulled out of their nips. Mary Margaret never mentioned that!"
She sighed and relaxed as she fed Hope, and she soon heard Killian's familiar strides down the steps. He grinned as he saw them nursing comfortably on the sofa. He had changed into sleep pants and a t-shirt, and had left his brace and hook upstairs. He brought her own comfy pajama set over to her and looked at her and Hope's perfect state of mother-daughter symbiosis with a raised eyebrow.
"Do you want to change, or…?" he asked.
"Mmm...how about when I switch sides?" Emma replied after contemplating the happily feeding baby. "Just a couple of minutes."
"Wonderful. I'll get the tea."
He returned after a few minutes and set down a steaming mug on the coffee table in front of her just as she was removing the sleepy-again Hope from her right breast. Emma gratefully handed the baby to her father for a quick burping, and so that she could take a break to change and sip her tea.
She watched Killian with a smile as he took their daughter into the crook of his right arm and gazed at her adoringly.
"Hello, little love," he cooed. "Are you having a nice supper? I'll bet it's a right bit better than the lasagna buffet we were forced to eat at that bloody party."
"Killian," Emma warned, suppressing a smirk.
"What?" he replied, as he rocked Hope. "She unites all the lands and all the realms, and still the best we can do for food is a pan of noodles that is somehow burnt to a crisp on the outside and cold and soggy within?"
Emma, now in her pajamas, laughed in agreement and relaxed back onto the couch as she took another sip of the chamomile tea.
"Yeah," she mused. "It might be time for Granny to retire from the catering business once and for all. There's got to be a better option now."
"As much as she complains about all the work, the old bird won't give it up without a fight," Killian noted.
Emma chuckled again and relaxed deeper into the couch. She loved watching Killian rock and burp Hope. He was a natural, even though his missing left hand meant that he had to find his own ways to manage certain tasks that would have been easier for someone with two hands. When it was time to burp her, he had found through a little Internet research (he no longer called it "the magic box") and some determined (and adorable, if Emma was being honest) practice that it worked best if he laid the infant stomach-down across his right arm, her head turned to the side and resting just above the crook of his elbow with her stomach against the inside of his strong forearm. The light pressure against the baby's stomach as he gently rocked her in this position usually caused her to burp right away, and he rubbed her back with his stump to further soothe her or ease a bit more gas out of her tiny tummy.
His method did the trick again now, and after he placed a tender kiss on Hope's tiny head, he helped settle her on Emma's left side so that she complete the feeding.
When Hope was suckling again (a bit lazily this time, but enough to relieve the pressure and hopefully fill her tummy for a few hours) Emma leaned her head back against the couch and turned to Killian, who had nestled in next to them and was watching them adoringly.
"So," she said, hating to break the quiet haze of love and contentedness but needing to talk to stay awake. "It was a nice party."
"Aye," Killian conceded. "It was. I still can't believe everyone agreed to this, but it was a nice party."
"I guess they really believe in her," she replied. "I give her credit. She's managed to build up a lot of trust with all those people since her Evil Queen days. Of course, it helps that my Charming parents have become her number one and one-a cheerleaders."
"Aye," said Killian darkly. "Not to mention that any lands that were struggling with poverty and lawlessness now get the services of our modern technology, plus plentiful food, and the lovely sheriff, who also happens to be The Savior."
"I know," Emma replied, gently nudging Hope with the left arm on which the sleepy baby was resting in order to coax her to keep nursing. "Trust me, I'm worried about the trouble spots too, and that people might try to take advantage of the situation. But at least Elsa should be able to handle The Southern Isles. Hopefully, her trip down there this week will prove to her that they're not up to any kind of meaningful rebellion."
"And not conspiring to team up with some secretly discontented faction of any other realm, which is suddenly just a few miles away by land or sea," Killian added, furrowing his brow.
Emma sighed. Politics and military strategy were not her strong suits, and any time she started to think about the possibility of coups d'état or conspiracies, she felt queasy.
Appearing to sense her unease, Killian added, "We're fortunate to have such wonderful friends, like Elsa and Jasmine, governing our new neighbors. If anyone can keep the peace in their lands and quell any potential unrest, it will be those women."
Emma smiled, "Right. See, the merged realms thing has its good points. I know you're happy to have all your BFF's just a car or boat ride away."
"BFF's?" Killian frowned, searching for the meaning.
Emma rolled her eyes and said, "You know, Best Friends Forever. I guess it's been longer than I thought since we've had a teenager in the house! Anyway, I know you love that we can hang with Elsa, Ariel, and Jasmine any time now. Don't worry, I won't tell David," she added with a chuckle.
"I'll admit, having our friends from the other realms close by and able to meet Hope has been an unexpected gift. Seeing you introduce our daughter to Elsa for the first time is a memory I will always treasure," he added, his voice suddenly thick with emotion.
Emma smiled warmly, remembering the pure joy and tears in the Queen of Arendelle's eyes when she first met Hope. Togetherness did have its joys, and she implicitly trusted the rulers of most of the adjoining realms. Her most immediate concern just happened to be that realm that up until now had no ruler, and no rules, Neverland.
"You're still planning to come with me on Monday, right?" Emma asked quietly. Hope was barely suckling at this point; she'd be fast asleep in a minute or two.
Killian looked down at the drowsy baby and smiled before meeting Emma's eyes again and replying, "Of course, love. You're not venturing into Neverland without me. I don't care how many of those Lost Brats want my head on pike. They're going to learn to play by the rules."
"OK, great. Just...let me and Tiger do most of the talking, all right? It really seems like she's starting to get a handle on things there."
"Aye, she's an ideal constable. She knows the land, knows all their tricks."
"Right," Emma encouraged. "Plus, giving the Lost Boys all the food they can eat and the promise of new toys and electronic gadgets for good behavior has been a big hit. It's just a good thing we're still able to convert your gold to real money that buys real stuff."
She smirked and added, "Maybe if you join Tiger and me on Monday, they'll start to see you as part of the benevolent law enforcement team rather than, you know, a devious, nefarious pirate who was their enemy for decades."
"Oh, I'm still a pirate, love," he replied with his trademark raised eyebrow, even as his eyes sparkled with humor and awareness of the irony of the statement given his happy, domestic circumstances.
"Okay, Captain," Emma played along. "Your little pirate princess is quite asleep at this point. Do you want to put her down?"
"As you wish," he replied, standing and reaching to take the sleeping infant as Emma gave her one last gentle nuzzle with her nose, breathing in her perfect baby smell.
Killian picked up the baby, supporting her bottom with his left arm and laying her little head against his shoulder, his large right hand supporting her head and neck. Emma adjusted her nighttime nursing bra, buttoned the top buttons of her pajama shirt, and stood. Killian winked and kissed her the hair on the side of Emma's head lightly as he passed, carrying their sleeping daughter to the stairs.
Emma sighed and picked up her tea, taking a few sips of now lukewarm drink before rinsing the mug out in the kitchen sink. She started to think about Neverland again as she did so, and Hans down in the Southern Isles, and everything that could go wrong in the new land of which Storybrooke was now just a small part. Her workload as (not-so-symbolic) Sheriff was daunting, and she worried that in her constant state of exhaustion and need and desire to spend most if her time with Hope she would make a mistake or miss something that threatened the realm. The thought continued to trouble her as she ascended the stairs and quietly walked to the doorway of Hope's room.
They had only recently moved their daughter from a bassinet next to their bed to her crib in her own cheerfully-decorated room, which was just caddy-corner to their master suite at the end of the hall. The third bedroom, which to Emma was still "Henry's room," was farther down the hall on the other side of the stairs. It had made sense to transition Hope to her crib now that she was giving them five, or even six, hours of sleep at a time after a good pre-bedtime feeding, but Emma and Killian were still both in the habit of waking up and creeping in to check on her even if she hadn't cried for them.
As Emma stepped into the room, she heard Killian singing softly as he rocked Hope against his shoulder:
Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly
Into the mystic
Emma smiled at the familiar melody and his quiet but assured and lovely singing voice. Killian actually had a surprisingly diverse selection of favorite musicians from the modern world. She'd once caught him bopping around the kitchen to Beyonce, and he loved to blast The Rolling Stones whenever he was working on fixing up the Jolly. But she thought that his love for the old fashioned, whiskey-soaked, romanticism of Van Morrison particularly suited him, and this song was a bedtime favorite for all three of them.
She tip-toed up beside him as he sang the final notes and gently laid Hope down on her back. The baby stirred a bit but then settled herself, tiny fists on either side of her head, which was turned slightly to the side as she began to take deep, even breaths. Emma resisted the urge to reach down and stroke her cheek, not wanting to risk disturbing her. Instead, she lightly kissed the tips of her index and middle fingers and placed the "kiss" gently on the baby's sleeper just over her heart.
A few minutes later, after they'd finished getting ready for bed, Emma settled in next to Killian, resting her head on his chest and enjoying the warmth of their bed on the still-cool spring evening. Because sleep was still at a premium, they both knew that they would have to try to fall asleep soon, but they also relished these few moments of alone time when Hope was sleeping peacefully.
"It will be alright, love. We'll find a way to bring everyone along" Killian said softly, still sensing her fears and misgivings about their daunting task of keeping the peace in the realm. "We make a hell of a team, remember?"
She nodded against his chest, then leaned up to kiss his cheek, ever grateful for his instincts and ability to say exactly the right thing just when she needed it.
"That we do," she replied, raising her head once more to meet his gaze and seeing in his eyes the same adoration she felt for him reflected back at her. She smiled, then settled back down onto his chest as he tightened his grip around her, and for a little while at least, she gave into the kind of blissful, peaceful slumber that you only find at home.