I unfortunately do not own Glee or any of the characters
I look at Rachel from where I am stood against my locker, waiting for Santana and Brittany,its the end of a very long day, Rachel is currently hanging all over Finn and it breaks my heart to see. You see the thing is I am in love with Rachel Berry, but of course I am not going to tell her this considering the fact she is straight and we have only just become friends, I really don't want to mess up her relationship and our friendship. Rachel stands on her tiptoes, cups Finns face with her hand and kisses him, I think I actually feel my heart break at the sight. I feel a hand on my shoulder, I turn around and see Santana and Brittany stood there with concern in their eyes, I told them of my feelings shortly after I realised them they reacted quite well to the news, they said that they already knew, that they could see it in my eyes every time I looked at her.
'Come on Q, lets get out of here. Its Friday we get to get drunk' she says sounding very excited about that fact, I fake a smile and follow them out of the doors of the school, I notice that Rachel has already left most likely with Finn, I ignore them feeling in my chest. I climb into Santanas car and head to her house to get wasted, we walk into the kitchen and San heads straight to her mothers liquor cabinet.
'San, you do realise that it is only 4o'clock' she turns to look at me, holding a bottle of vodka in her hand.
'Yes I realise that Quinn, but you have been on such a downer lately that we need to get you wasted as soon as possible, to get your mind off of Rachel' I smile at her way of showing concern.
'Okay, lets get absolutely fucked' I say trying to sound enthusiastic but failing, Santana just laughs but hands me a shot of vodka, she hands one to Britt as well. I down it ignoring the way it burns my throat, I put the empty shot glass on the island in the kitchen and smirk when Santana fills it back up straight away.
About 9 shots of vodka and God knows how many of tequila I am struggling to stand, Santana and Brittany have gone up stairs to get their 'lady kisses' on as Santana so nicely put it. I am sat on the couch with half a bottle of vodka in my left hand and my phone in my right, I am staring at Rachels number contemplating whether or not to phone her, in my intoxicated state it is seeming to be a very good idea because before I know it I have pressed the call button and pressing my phone to my ear while taking a swig of the vodka not even feeling the burn any more. I wait patently for her to answer.
'Quinn?' I smile brightly when she answers.
'Rachel!' I shout down the phone
'Quinn are you drunk?' she asks her voice thick with sleep, I glance at the clock on the wall in front of me trying to make out where the arrows are pointing but failing completely.
'Did I wake you Rachel?' I ask lowering my voice, trying my best not to slur my words.
'Quinn, it is 3 in the morning. So yes you did wake me, now answer my question are you drunk?' she sounds annoyed, I frown at myself and take another swig of the vodka wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.
'Yes' I whisper, sounding ashamed 'sorry for waking you Rachel, I'll go now' I am about to hang up the phone when Rachel shouts
'No! don't hang up, you obviously wanted to talk to me otherwise you wouldn't have phoned me at this hour intoxicated. Now what is wrong?' I smile at the obvious concern in her voice, I take another drink of vodka, and ignoring a quite loud moan that comes from upstairs, before answering her.
'I need to tell you something Rachel' I am concentrating very hard on making my sentences make sense that I am slurring my words slightly, I also notice that I am talking quite fast.
'Quinn, I need you to slow down a little so I can understand what it is you are trying to tell me, okay?' she says slowly so I can understand her in my drunken state, I nod before realising she can't see me, I clumsily stand up before making my way quite unsteadily to the kitchen to get something else to drink.
'Okay I can do that' I say only slurring my words a little, I grab the half empty bottle of tequila and take a drink before continuing what I was saying 'so anyway, I wanted to tell you something and it is quite important so I need you to listen very carefully and not interrupt okay?' I ask her all in one breath, I hear her yawn which makes me yawn, I take a big swig of the tequila to try and gain some confidence.
'Okay Quinn, I am all ears' I take a deep breath before speaking.
'I am in love with you Rachel, I have been since I first met you, I love the way your eyes shine when you smile, or when you just randomly come out with something, I love your hair even though you sometimes say you don't like it, I love making you laugh and helping you when you're stuck on something and even though it breaks my heart I love giving you advice about Finn because I know he makes you happy in a way I can only dream of making you. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to ruin our friendship or yours and Finns relationship but I am really drunk right now and I couldn't hold it in any more, please don't hate me.' I grab onto the island in the kitchen so I don't fall, 'please say something Rachel' I don't even try to hide the fact I am begging. I hear her sigh on the line.
'Go to sleep Quinn, you're drunk you don't know what you're saying' I feel my heart shatter.
'I do know what I am saying Rachel! I love you!' I shout down the phone, I hear footsteps coming from behind me 'please Rachel don't reject me, please, I need you, I love you so much. I can't lose you, please' tears start running down my face and I don't try to stop them. I feel arms wrap around my waist from behind and I know its Brittany trying to comfort me, Santana stands next to me and takes the bottle of tequila out of my hand.
'Quinn, I have a boyfriend, I'm straight, I only see you as a friend. I'm sorry' I don't even try to stop the sob that escapes my throat, 'but I know that you won't remember this in the morning so it doesn't really matter what I say now, just go to sleep Quinn' I let the phone drop out of my hand and onto the island next to where Santana is standing, I see her pick up the phone and put it to her ear but I don't hear what she is saying, all I can hear is Rachels voice in my head 'I only see you as a friend' I I turn around in Brittany's grip and bury my head in the crook of her neck and just cry, I know she is hand making soothing motions on my back, I know she kisses the top of my head and I know she is dragging me to the couch but I don't feel it, all I feel is numb she lays me down on the couch and drapes a comforter over me, I see that Santana is still on the phone she looks sad. I look at Brittany.
'She doesn't love me' is all I can say before sleep overcomes me.
A/N: this is just a little something that came to mind, just a little one shot, please read and review. Happy New Year!