A/N: Waaah I had so much fun writing this! Never enjoyed writing a fic as much as I have this one, so I hope you like reading it as much as I did!
I apologise in advance for spelling and grammar mistakes. My spell check is broken.
And so inspired by a 3 hour road trip of my own a while ago, with a silent companion and her ipod for company, I present to you this beautiful crack of mine~
Silence Is Golden
"Naruto, if we're listening to music, it's going to be my music, not yours." Raven eyes glared at the hand that already began hovering above the switch of his CD-player as he revved the engine of his Range Rover.
"But your music is shit" Naruto whined with the dejection of a candy deprived toddler. The blonde could barely manage putting on his seat belt... and to think Naruto had actually asked him if he could drive... his baby.
As if.
"My music is not shit." He mumbled, too focused on escaping the rowdy crowds of the road and finally getting the hell out of this city to defend his musical preferences. "It's an acquired taste." He half grunted out, as he leaned over the steering wheel, trying to see past the fucking idiot that decided it was a good idea to park on a double yellow.
"Yeah the taste for screaming depression" Naruto looked on with scepticism, mocking without any real malice behind his words. Sasuke shook his head, puffing out a sigh as he turned the corner, just about missing the speeding fury of another car.
"What the actual fuck?" Sasuke threw his arms up in resentment, quite frankly ignoring Naruto's rambling. Couldn't anybody drive today? It seemed as though Sasuke was the only one that seemed to value his youth; he did often wonder how these lunatics managed to get a licence with such atrocious driving.
"There's so much more good stuff out there... I mean come on..." Naruto paused, completely oblivious to the utter chaos going on around him, as he tried to think of the crap he'd often caught Sasuke listening to, or rare enough, hear him singing.
"Evanesenenecence?" he stumbled clumsily over the name, having to repeat himself to get it right as Sasuke muttered out another string of curse words under his breath. The Uchiha couldn't tell you how glad he was to be out of that hell hole he called a home, he just hoped the vacation villa they were heading to hadn't fallen down or caved in with the high strength winds and torrential rain they'd been having recently.
"It's Evanescence, and, the only woman I'd willingly go straight for" Sasuke responded, without even having to think about, it. Naruto didn't know their songs well enough to be fixed with a look that said 'I just ate a sour grape.'
"Black veil brides?" Naruto grimaced. Scratch that. 'I just ate a whole bowl of sour grapes.' It was almost as if Naruto was waiting for each grape he picked at to be better than the next.
"They're hot as fuck" Totally justified.
"That makes me jealous" Naruto pouted childishly, smoothing stray spiky blonde locks to cover his eyes. Emo style.
"That makes you an idiot" Sasuke tried to hide the smirk that wanted to break out across his face as he chanced a look at Naruto. Definitely an idiot. Relinquishing the grip of one of his hands on the wheel, he reached over to ruffle flat blonde spikes into the mess that Naruto normally made his own.
The pout turned into a smile.
"So, can I turn it on?" He asked, before darting his eyes between Sasuke and the CD-player suggestively.
"No"
"You know I'm going to anyway right?"
"I know"
Sasuke sighed.
***A few hours later***
Don't even ask him how it happened.
"Lovingggg youuuuuuUUUuuuUuu~~~ is easy cuz your beaaauuuuutifullll~~~ Making love with you is all I wanna doooo~~~~~~" Naruto blurted out at the top of his very vocals and had his voice not been so rough, he might've actually been considered quite good at singing, but to Sasuke's dismay, this wasn't the case.
"Lalalalala lalalalala la la la la laaah la la laa laaaaahhhhaaaa" Naruto cherped right beside Sasuke's ear, bopping his head to each note as though he were performing some kind of ritual dance for courtship.
Yeah, Naruto really wasn't doing it for Sasuke. The only thing Naruto was doing was steadily making him deaf. The raven tightened his hand around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white with rage.
"AHHHHHHAHHAHAHHHAHHHHHHHHH"
"NARUTO. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP!" Sasuke slammed his fists down on the unsuspecting car wheel, just about missing the temptation of the horn, and barely managing to keep them on the road. Naruto seriously had a fucking death wish, and if he kept on making faces at him like he was, he would make that wish come true.
Sasuke sighed heavily through his nose, his rage-trembling hand reaching for the volume dial. The thing was so damn loud Naruto might as well have been stabbing his eardrum with a knife.
He froze Naruto with a firm look, eyebrows raised with utter seriousness.
"Are you done?"
Looking conflicted for a split second as he darted his gaze from the radio to the stern look on Sasuke's face. Naruto smilled mischiefly, before further deafening Sasuke's poor unsuspecting ears with an irrelevantly loud, "Yes sir!" before saluting him like he was his commanding officer or something.
The raven narrowed his eyes, turning back to the long road, and carried on driving.
That was his second mistake.
***Several songs later***
Sasuke should've turned back while he could, he was steadily begining to realise that.
"I've never been afraid of the highest heights, Or afraid of flying nahhh. I've never been afraid of the wildest fights, not afraid of dyinnnnn~~~" Naruto waved his body against his chair like some kind of retro dancer, arms outstretched, over exagerating each word with the motions of his hands like he had some kind of audience.
He could feel Naruto's stare on him with the seriousness and dedication of a performer "Now i want off this ride cuz your scaring me and i don't like where we're goinggg~~~~~"
Sasuke scoffed, as he glanced aside to see Naruto singing to him, "Yeah I'll scare you alright" he mumbled under his breath, stamping his foot down on the acceleration pedal before glaring with a malice that promised death as Naruto screeched even louder still beside him. "I garantee you'll miss me~" The sound of Naruto's voice wavered as Sasuke revved the car, the g-force pulling him back against the headrest. "Cuz you changed the way you kiss me." he belted out, and the beat dropped. Naruto bopped his head like he'd gone crazy thinking it made him look cool, but to Sasuke, he just looked like a strangled duck tied to a chair.
He sighed.
"Don't break my car" Naruto started bouncing his leg like he really was going to try and stand up and dance, he was suddenly glad for the button that opened the sun roof being on his side of the car. He breathed a sigh again, more of relief this time. "I paid ten grand for this baby."
Naruto paused his flailing limbs and shrugged, taking his time to look around it for the first time. It was a beast, both inside and out. He didn't know why Sasuke liked big cars, Naruto was more a ferrari man himself, small, sleek and downright sexy. Yeah and expensive, the small voice in Naruto's head reminded him, but he ignored it. Yeah yeah. "You got mugged."
"I did not get mugged."
"If you say so"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You got mugged." Naruto started toying with the buttons that sat invitingly bellow the radio.
"Whatever," Sasuke dismissed him frustratedly, "Don't touch," He shot Naruto a pointed look, slapping his hand away thinking that for the umpteenth time he'd done it, that it might actually work this time.
Yeah, right.
Naruto paused for a moment, looking around at unfamiliar surroundings before setting his eyes back on Sasuke. With the song utterly blaring in the background, he somehow managed to hear Naruto's suddenly strangely quiet voice over it. "Where are we going again?" his eyebrows knitted together, his expression contorting into one of confusion.
Idiot.
Naruto was an idiot.
"You're asking me where we're going when you're the one that suggested the idea?" Sasuke shot a glare at Naruto, he was really reaching his limits, and he wasn't referring to the speed limit. The only sweet silence he knew he would have the pleasure to bask in throughout the entire journey was quite frankly ruined by the rusty noise of broken clogs turning needlessly in Naruto's head. He ground his teeth.
"The beach Naruto," He hissed, "we're going to the beach."
***One song later***
The radio hated him, with the next song that came on; he couldn't have come to any other conclusion. A mix of dread and humor drowned him as he stiffened at the wheel.
He watched Saphire orbs light up with excitement, as Naruto's naturally sun-kissed skin glowed like it really literally been hit with the summer fever. Staring from the corner of his eye, he braced himself, knowing the start of the song was going to make the blonde completely expload.
"Let's go to the BeAch, EaCh, LEt's go get a wAvE
ThEy sAy, whAt tHeY gOnNA sAY?
HAvE A drINk, cLINk, fOUnD thE bUd lIGHt,
BAd bItcHEs lIkE mE, is hARd to cOmE bY
The patron, Own, Lets go GEt it On
The zOne, Own, yEs i'm In the zOne
Is it tWO, tHREE, leave a good tip
I'ma blOw all mY mOnEY, and dOn't gIve tWO shITS~"
At this point, Sasuke honestly didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or cry. One part of him wanted to park up somewhere, anywhere, and watch Naruto make a complete idiot of himself, the other, either wanted to kill himself, or silence the blonde forever. All options currently seemed favourable.
All Naruto needed was the green hair and the Bikini and he'd have his very own Nicki Minaj- yeah that really was an image he didn't want plaguing his mind. He cringed, focusing his eyes back on the road for a moment, opting against closing them to rid himself of that mental image lest he really kill them both.
Still wasn't sounding like a bad idea, he thought, what with Naruto's vocal range progressively worsening.
"Please Naruto" He was begging now, and Sasuke, he never begged. The word 'Please' wasn't part of Sasuke's vocabularly, but at this point, he was practically desperate to try anything. "Can we go just one song without you singing over it like you wrote-" Sasuke turned to regard Naruto with pleading eyes, only to have them widen to the very size of saucers "Where the fuck did you get that wig?"
Naruto mirrored him, pinning him down with a look that was just as confused.
"Naruto-why did- we're going to the beach- why did you even bring that?" He was absoluely horrified, if his expression didn't scream it, then his eyes darting to and from the windscreen to the bright green wig that was sitting on top of Naruto's head mocking him did.
"What are you talking about? What green wig?"
Sasuke was going insane.
Sasuke was honestly going insane.
***About an hour later***
You'd think he would get tired, singing countless songs, for hours on end, regardless of knowing the lyrics or not.
No such luck; this was Naruto we were talking about afterall.
It was getting worse, it was honestly getting worse. After Nicki Minaj, he didn't think anything else could possibly top his list of most hated as the sky darkened, the songs that drowned them both with their melodies steadily turned slow and- which, Sasuke couldn't be more greatful for- quieter, until of course...
That song came on.
Darting heavy eyes away from the road, he caught the fleeting glow of sadness that had faintly drowned Naruto's otherwise beautifully expressive face as the rhythm of the guitar filled their ears. The raven fixed his eyes back on the road, not really seeing it as he clenched his teeth. The only thing he could seem to focus on was Sakura as Nelly grunted the start of that god forsaken song.
"I was thinking 'bout her~ thinking 'bout me ~ thinkin' 'bout us~ what we gon' be~~ and I open my eyes, and what I had, it was only just a dreeeeaaaam~~~" Naruto bopped his head slowly at first, before turning into something more aggressive as he shook his head to the beat once more, whole heartedly singing along in a way he hadn't been up until now. The Uchiha glanced every now and then, watching as Naruto's eyes closed occassionally, only opening to take in the fields as they passed. how could a damn song make Sasuke's heart sink so?
Probably because Naruto always sung along like his heart depended on it... like his heart, had experienced each and every word. And Sasuke, he knew it had. That was what made him seethe so much.
"I swear I can't take it~ knowing somebody's got my baby~~"
That was it. He glared unconsciously at Naruto before he turned the dial back to mute.
"Hey, I like that song!" Naruto fought to turn the dial back up, but Sasuke wasn't having it, fighting off his hand like they were two cats in a vicious brawl, slapping back and forward.
"I know" Sasuke growled, barely managing to contain himself as he smacked Naruto's hand away once more, before returning his hand to the wheel to curve the car to the bend of the road. Naruto studied Sasuke with his head tilted like a confused rabbit, turning the dial near to full volume, as he pulled a face at him.
Sasuke shot Naruto a death glare, almost faltering when his eyes landed on that damned pout of his his. He was gonna kill him. Sasuke was really gonna kill him.
"You know how much I hate that song" Sasuke grunted as he turned another corner. They were getting closer to their destination; the roads were getting shorter, more unpredictable... certainly familiar, but only vaguelly.
"I'm not thinking about her" fuck you pout. fuck you. Sasuke almost grimaced, but caught himself.
"Liar" he mumbled, barely listening to the faint voice the sat-nav emitted telling him where they were going, unconsciously, Sasuke knew, but everything was starting to look the same, nothing jumping out at him.
"Sasuke!" Naruto whined, "It's just a song"
"Mhm," He murmured. It was more than just a song to him, and Sasuke knew it. He sighed. Where the fuck was this damned device taking them? He could've sworn it'd made him take the wrong exit on that round-about back there.
"You're sulking" Naruto fixed him with an inquisitive stare, quite frankly oblivious to Sasuke's more important inner musings, and the fact that they could potentionally be lost, expensive sat-nav aside.
"No I'm not" Sasuke snapped, his focus switching to the road as he drove past a vaguelly familiar string of houses. Much better.
"Yes you are! You wont even look at me" Ah, so he was clever when he wanted to be, Sasuke thought with a glare as he turned to fully regard him. Naruto had hardly notice that he'd pulled up.
"I'm driving Naruto" he threw a pointed look at him as he leaned against the wheel; a look that showed more than Sasuke knew he was letting on. "I'm not supposed to look at you"
"Hasn't stopped you before" Naruto mumbled out, crossing his arms against his chest. Was this attitude Sasuke was sensing? Sassy bastard, he thought, raising an eyebrow. Glossy black eyes stared right into pools of cerulean as he breathed an exasperated sigh.
"We're here. So let's get out of this damn car already, my ass hurts." He spoke, practically already up and out of his seat, and shutting the door with an echoing thud behind him.
"I stopped being able to feel mine ages ago" Naruto called out after him, not having even heard the sound of the doors locking as he squirmed in his seat, relieving himself from the belt that clung him to Sasuke's car seat. "Finally," he breathed, trying to open the car door, only to no avail.
"Sasuke! It wont open!" He shouted so he could be heard, pulling at the door handle. He pressed his eyebrows together, trying to force it open. Through force of habit, a slight panic crept deep into the pit of his stomach. "I think your car's broke," He laughed his concern off casually, "I swear it wasn't me!" He continued to call out as he watched Sasuke walk around the goliath of a vehicle. "Ten grand my ass, thing's a pile of shit" Naruto mumbled under his breath, grabbing the poor handle with two hands as he began levering his feet on the door.
"Lemme out!" Naruto complained. There was nothing he hated more than the thought of being locked in a small space, oh didn't Sasuke know it. The raven couldn't think of a better punishment. He smirked evilly as he met face to face with the worried blonde through the tinted window.
He motioned a kiss with his lips before turning to the elegant villa he had parked outside of. He breathed a lung-full of crisp, fresh air, ignoring the faint noise of Naruto's complaints fleeting and transient with the wind. The closer he walked to his families comfortably sized vacation home, the greater the swift string of moans and curses faded... Until, he could hear nothing but the whistling wind of the night air, and the chirping of the crickets hiding in the grass land.
Oh, the sweet of silence had never been so golden.
A/N: So like all of my other stories, this sat unfinished in a folder for a few months. orz
Seriously, the things Naruto could do to his car while being locked in it. I don't think Sasuke thought much about that. Leaving an idiot in his car is certain to be a huge mistake.
Cracky sequel? maybe, what do you think?
*is totally dying for sleep* Until next time~