"I do really hope that's not red wine, Jane. Last time I had to scrub for an hour to get the wine out of the carpet!" Maura said as she arrived home after a long day in the morgue, and saw the large stain on her beautiful cream colored carpet.
"Well, ahumm uhhhhh, do I have bad news for you...and for me..." Jane said as she greeted her wife.
"You've spilled red wine?" Maura asked a disheveled Jane.
"Yeah..." dazed Jane said.
"Again?" Maura sounded a bit irritated now.
"Again!" Jane looked guilty by now.
"I don't understand why it's bad news for you when I am the one that has to clean it!" Maura sounded more irritated by the minute.
"Well, last time you didn't talk to me for a day. This time it could be a night on the couch..." Jane looked a bit anxious at her wife.
"I never let you sleep on the couch, Jane!" Maura sounded not very pleased.
"Well I remember that last June you did!" Jane's voice sounded small while making this statement.
"Jane!" Maura exclaimed as she thought of that particular day, "You used a piece of art as a baseball bat!"
"But I thought it was a baseball bat!"
"But you still don't have to sleep on the couch tonight, dear Jane..." Maura said sweetly.
"No?" Jane looked suspicion.
"No, Jane...You gonna mow the grass, and cut the bushes!" Maura looked very satisfied as she looked at her defeated wife.
"I thought a bullet would kill me," Jane complained, "or at least someone was gonna stab me to dead, but no one prepared me from your wrath!"
"You're exaggerating again, love. And don't look like a drowned poodle, it doesn't look good on you. Simply do as you've been told and afterwards I will even massage your hands and give you as nice cold beer!" Maura smiled sweetly, and folded her arms before her body.
"Well..." Jane scratched her head, "if you say it that way, it even sounds appealing."
"I know, Jane, I'm a master-satisfier!" Maura looked both, pleased and satisfied with her badass reply.
"Now you're spoiling the mood, Maur'!" Jane huffed.
"Go and do as told, love" Maura said resolutely.
"You're such an dictator, sometimes, Maura!" Jane whined.
"But you love me anyway..." Maura countered.
"Yeah." Jane said simply.
"See!" A pleased looking Maura said, and whispered "Whipped.."
"You said something, honey?" Jane asked.
"No, Jane! The faster you go and do it, the faster I can massage your hands and give you your cold beer!" Maura smiled sweetly at her wife of three years.
"Okidoki, ma'am!" Jane said and went to the garage to grab the needed supplies, while Maura scratched her hives...
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