I closed my eyes, feeling a slight breeze stifle my hopes and dreams. I sat at a rotten wood bench in Piercon's Point Park, an hour's drive from the So Random Studio. I haphazardly kicked off my scruffy sandals, trekking across the worn sand and gradually feeling coarse shells break beneath my footing. I bit my bottom lip in contempt, singing the tune to Mariah Carey's "Obsessed". "Boy, why you so obsessed with me? You don't even know..." I said numbly, wilst scrolling through my ipod nano playlist and shrugging off my pitch black fleece. I could plunge into the waters, I thought distracted. I longed for his arms to be around me again. But, then he'd messed up... gone to cheat on me with his wretched co-star Portlyn, who worked with him on Mackenzie Falls. I felt disgusted at the memory of Chad ditching me at Nico's party last Friday and running off to drunkenly make out with Portlyn. I didn't know how I'd ever forgive him.
My cow-print cell flashed yet another text I'd received from Chad. "What is it?" I hissed, the chilly air cut through my tiny athletic gray tank.
Chad: I'm right here. Don't worry. I'm on my way to P's Point, Tawni told me.
I cursed myself aloud for being so foolish. Of course, it had been a dire mistake to ever confide in my gossipy friend, Tawni Heart. And, how could she just betray me like that? I didn't answer his text, and shut my phone off. I walked completely spent back to the bench to retreive my sandals and slipping on my sweat shirt returned to the electric green BMW Marshall's company had loaned me. I gunned up the engine furiously, tears blinding my eyes. I took off just as Chad's midnight blue Hot Rod glided down the beach parking lot and nearly collided with me."Jerk," I muttered. I refused to look back at him, driving quickly up the lane leading to the main road. My head was spinning. I slammed on the brakes, noticing a whole line of cars ahead of me. I stopped at a local Mcdonald's located on the corner to use the restroom. I stumbled into the fast food joint, palms clammy with sweat. Perspiration purely displaying nervousness on the verge of anxiety.
I rushed to the bathroom, feeling my energy drain away instaneously. I gazed at my sallow face in the mirror. My eyeliner was smeared and my lips could do with another coat of sickeningly sweet berry lip balm. I am thus reduced to nothing, I reflected vaguely. I put my head in my hands and swallowed hard. My usually curvy frame had wasted away to nothing but skin and bones. I often wore multiple shirts instead of only one mainly because I would not set a good example for America appearing skeltal skinny. I slapped cool water on my face, drying my hands and exited the restroom. A few tables away in the crowded restaurant I spotted Chad, sitting companionably next to none other than Portlyn. What. The. Hell? My blood turned to ice in my veins. My jaw actually dropped open. Then, who was in that hot rod I spotted? I wondered. Hm, I guess someone besides Chad Dylan Cooper has an identical taste in cars. I brushed my worry aside, switching the song track on my nano to Sublime's "What I got". I forced a weak smile and strutted directly for the entrance out. Chad was laughing as per usual and rolling his eyes egotistcally all the while with Portlyn. I hope they have lots and lots of fun together, I thought feigning indifference. My chest rattled with a fit of heart-wrenching coughs(I was also apparently getting sick lately too) and I exhaled breifly. I pinned my dark espresso curls back into a bun and headed for my car.
**
"SONNY!" My hopes reduced to nothing upon spotting Chad race wildly out McDonald's and head straight for my car. "What the hell do you want?" I groaned, flashing him the dirtiest look ever. But, even I could not help but succumb to those sparkling eyes. My heart slammed violently in my rib cage, and I shut my car off; waiting to hear Chad's explaination. "Look, I tried to go to the beach... to see if you were all right. Yet, you totally ditched me Sonny. Like, what's your deal? Honestly. Every one's so effing concerned these days about you. You act like a major zombie on Chuckle City." Chad said breathlessly drinking me in.
"So, what? You just went there because you pitied me?" I snorted, absolutely irritated at this whole spectacle. "And, what are you doing here with Portlyn?"
"She was just waiting with me so I could meet up with you. I didn't want you to slam into a pole or anything recklessly driving." Chad murmured. "Sonny, I don't pity you. If anything, I love you. I care a lot about you. Portlyn is only a friend. Even though I've said this a million times and you still won't forgive me might I add, I'm done with playing games. Portlyn means nothing to me." Just on cue, the sultry gray eyed model type waltzed into our conversation. "Chad, I'm gonna go rehearse with the rest of the cast." Portlyn said coolly, leaning into to peck him on the cheek(and totally oblvious to my sitting right there).
"Ok, see you later Port." Chad grinned widely and hugged her close before she clomped over to her gunmetal gray Mercedes Bentz in towering black stilettos. "Chad," I said through gritted teeth. "What was that?"
"Nothing," Chad said sighing. "She does that all the time, to every single cast member. Even girls. We're just friends'."
"Oh, right." I said disgustedly.
"Sonny..." Chad said rubbing his temple thoughtfully. "How about I make it up to you?"
"How Chad?"
"I'll take you out to dinner or something..."
"Or something," I mimicked, gritting my teeth. "You know what Chad? Whatever." I tore out of the parking lot without a reserve of respect. My heart felt hollow, I was crying again. How was it you could have a chance at falling back into something so wonderfully romantic but then reject the single person who broke your heart in the first place? How is it... I wonder.
I slipped into my car, folding my arms across my chest. Everything felt... dismal. But, it didn't have to be that way I knew. I felt like a major bitch for treating him so poorly, yet he'd broken my heart-how could I not? Disgruntled, I clenched my teeth hard and focused on my reflection in the rearview mirror. Oh, no... I would not be tearing up again. I swore it on my own grave.
**
"Sonnny," my head was pounding as I entered the apartment mom and I shared ever since we'd moved into the area months ago when I was recruited to So Random.
"What?" I didn't even look up, just brushed stray streaks of sweat off my temple with the tail of my sweatshirt.
"Nothing, I'm just glad you're home Kid." Mom stepped forward in the foyer and ruffled my hair in an affectionate manner like she'd done when I was little.
"I have work tonight, Sonny." Mom announced, reaching to grab her woolly coat off the hook hanging from the mall. "There's frozen meat loaf in the freezer. I'm gonna have to get going now. Are you sure you'll be all right?"
"Fine," I shook my head miserably. "But, did you really have to get meatloaf?" I mocked a disgusted expression.
Mom clenched her teeth and shrugged her jacket on. "I don't appreciate your attitude," she snapped. "You'll eat what's there. See you later!" Mom charged out the door without another door. I spotted her making her way down the front steps, her bright cranberry jacket visible in the night. I padded silently into my bedroom, not looking back and it was then I decided I would take a shower and call Tawni.
**
I rubbed my skin raw in the shower. After squeezing out my wet, stringy hair and slipping into the comfy slippers and bathrobe I'd set by my bathroom door; I wandered over to the bathroom mirror and applied soothing banana nut cleanser to my face. Just as I was removing traces of the creamy, fruit infused cleanser I heard a soft knock sound at the front door. A blush crept up my face fast as anything upon spotting a new text flashing on my phone. All of the emotions I'd tried to avoid earlier came rushing back from that one text:
Chad: I just wanted to stop by to see you. And, uhm talk. Sonny, I'm at your door. Let me in? Just saw your Mom pull out. :0
"Hold on!" I shouted exasperated. I flushed even redder and towel dried my hair hurriedly. I barely had enough time to scrape it into a bun, slick on lip gloss and rush out into the foyer to answer the front door in only a skimpy bathrobe, threadbare slippers and dripping wet hair.
"Sonny?" Chad eyed me surreptiously as I let him in. He blushed a bit, the corners of his mouth turned up in a grin. His glossy, sunkissed blonde hair was windswept; falling in tousled waves into those deep blue eyes. I felt myself stiffen upon his utter breathtakingly hot self. Then, I remembered why I was mad at him. How he'd cheated on me with his co-star Portlyn. My heart leapt in my throat in response, Chad regarded me curiously.
"I'm sorry," he started not taking his eyes off of the bathrobe. "Uh.. could you please join me tonight? I'm going out to this club on West Ave. Portlyn won't be there. Don't worry. I swear."
"How do I know you won't cheat?"
"Is this answer enough for you?" Chad leaned forward, pulling me in for a heartmelting kiss. His hips gyrated against mine as he pushed me against the wall. He moved downwards kissing the nape of my neck and feeling me up. His fingers felt like absolute bliss, all my anger disappated upon his touch. I could only kiss him back, feel his mouth exploring mine. His body melted into my own. Beads of moisture trickled down my spine as he removed my bathrobe. "Chad!" I slipped it back on, not in the least bit worried I'd given him a peek of the 'whole package'(after all, I was clever enough to know what a player Chad was and to dash into my room before racing to the foyer; thus slipping on a La Perla frilly, faded pink thong and black lace push up bra).
"It's ok," Chad's voice came out in a murmur. He seemed mystified as he tugged his long sleeve tee off his well toned body. I ran one finger lithely down his muscles, a tingle arose within me. I stepped back, blushing like crazy. "Shh," Chad consoled me, his breath hot on my neck. He lightly untied my bath robe once more. I motioned for him to follow me down the hallway into my bedroom. I quickly dimmed the lights, shut my curtains, locked my door, turned my ipod on its dock system to the "Clocks" cover(orginially written by Coldplay and thus remized by Buena Vista Social Club) to full volume, and Chad led me to my soft Queen-size bed upturned with downy sheets. His tongue captured mine hungrily, as he pushed me lightly backwards toward the pillow and planted a whole line of kisses down my body. I sank into the comfort of my bed and his sensual kiss. Things were right again, far as I could tell. And, what about clubbing? Count me in. I thought exuberant as Chad's hands wandered downwards once more.