Disclaimer: Bruckheimer seems to own the world at the moment so they are his.
Rating: PG
Category: Catherine/Grissom, Sara/Nick
Spoilers: Up through Season 4.
Author: Traci
Summary: The members of the CSI team have personal issues to deal with. No case.
Author's note: I started this the night the Season 4 finale aired... um, it took me a few months to finish it – basically because it wasn't supposed to be as long as it ended up being.
Song belongs to Lonestar.
Resolution
Gil Grissom ran his fingers through his salt-n-pepper colored hair and sighed. How and when had things turned as badly as they were? Why had he not seen it and done something about it before it reached this point.
Walking a little quicker than usual, Catherine Willows had to hold back from running away from his office. The tension – the strain – in their relationship was more than she could handle any longer. If he had wanted to end their friendship he should have just told her, not drag it out.
The Las Vegas Crime Lab used to be something Nick Stokes looked forward to going to every night. Used to be until he watched two people he cared about as family falling apart. Drifting away from the only people they needed – each other.
Warrick Brown stopped just outside of Grissom's office, his eyes following Catherine until the elevator doors closed behind her. "Griss?"
"What is it?" he snapped.
Stepping inside, Warrick closed the door. "You've got to do something."
Grissom's eyes studied his CSI. "Which case are you working on?"
"No," Warrick said, shaking his head. "Not about a case. About Catherine."
He sighed. "If you have a problem with her you need to..."
"You need to."
"Unless it's directly work related, I am not..."
Warrick walked over to the desk. "Look, Grissom, it's none of my business, I admit. But you and Catherine... well... What you two have, or had, is special. I don't know what has come between you but it's pretty obvious something has. You two don't laugh with each other like you used to. You don't work on cases as much anymore. You guys used to go out to breakfast every morning and you don't do that anymore." He paused for a moment. "You and Catherine have been friends for a long time. Whatever this is I'm sure it's not worth losing each other over." With that he turned and left the office.
Grissom removed his glasses, placing them on the desk. His eyelids slid shut. Shaking his head, he put his glasses back on. This had been her decision. If she wanted things back to what they used to be then she should come back to him.
Sara Sidle sat alone in a lab looking over the results of the latest case that she and Nick and Warrick had been assigned. Craving the alcohol her body only recently needed, she reached into her pocket and retrieved a 'Halls' cough drop. At least it would hold her over.
"Hey, Sara, anything?" Warrick asked, surprising her.
"N...No, nothing." She slammed the file down on the table.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
"Yeah. I'll be fine." Her eyes studied him for a moment. "Are you alright?"
"Ye... I guess. Better than Catherine and Grissom that's for sure."
"Whatever," she mumbled, picking up the file again.
Warrick moved closer to look at the information. "Getting a cold?"
"What?"
"Cough drops."
"Oh. Yeah," she stammered. "So, the DNA doesn't link our suspect to the victim."
Unable to concentrate on anything, Grissom decided to grab a bite to eat at the nearby diner the CSI's frequented. He pulled into the parking lot and saw Catherine's car. He did miss her, he admitted. He missed the closeness they had. He missed the smile she saved for only him. He missed.... Again, he shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts. She had done this all herself.
He scanned the room when he walked in. An invisible hand clutched his heart within him. In a corner booth he saw the strawberry-blonde strands that were so familiar to him. Only those strands of silk had fingers running through them belonging to someone he was unfamiliar with. And Catherine was smiling that smile for him.
Before the hostess had a chance to say a word, Grissom turned on his heels and almost ran to the Tahoe. He sat in the SUV for many moments before turning the key. That was it. It was over. She apparently no longer had room in her life for him.
A few hours had passed since the diner incident. Grissom once again sat at his desk working on papers.
"Gil?"
His body froze.
"Can we talk?"
Slowly his eyes lifted to take in the image of Catherine standing in the doorway.
"Sure," he said, motioning with his hand for her to take a seat.
Hesitating for a second, she stepped in, closed the door and sat across from him.
"What is it?"
"I... Um..." Catherine looked down at her hands and fidgeted. She never fidgeted. Instead of continuing, she handed him a CD then locked her blue eyes, eyes now filled with pain and fear, into his. "Listen to it."
He said nothing, merely nodded.
"That... that was it," she softly said and left his office.
The drive home was a long one. Images of that man caressing Catherine's face, running his fingers through her hair, haunted Grissom. Glancing at the seat beside him, he took the CD Catherine had given him earlier out of the case and inserted it into the player.
A soft interlude began.
Grissom wondered what could have been so important. Was it a wedding song? Was she trying to tell him she was getting married? No, there had been no ring on her finger. But still...
'Tell me what I have to do tonight
'Cause I'd do anything to make it right
Let's be us again.'
Pulling into his driveway, Grissom sat in the idling vehicle.
'I'm sorry for the way I lost my head
I don't know why I said the things I said
Let's be us again.'
Was she trying to tell him what he thought and hoped?
'Here I stand
With everything to lose
And all I know is I don't want to ever see the end
Baby please, I'm reaching out for you
Won't you open your heart and let me come back in
Let's be us again.'
Reversing out of his driveway, he prayed he was right.
'Look at me, I'm way past pride
Isn't there some way that we can try
To be us again.'
Pride, something they were both guilty of. She was strong and strong-willed, qualities he loved about her. Yet, he was also strong-willed... and stubborn. More stubborn than a mule when he wanted to be. He had been so determined that she be the one to break this time. He had won but... what if she hadn't taken the step? Would he have allowed his pride to lose him the most important person in his life?
'Even if it takes a while
I'll wait right here until I see that smile
That says we're us again.'
Her smile. He smiled at that thought, the memories. The way her eyes sparkled.
'Here I stand
With everything to lose
And all I know is I don't want to ever see the end
Baby please, I'm reaching out for you
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in
Let's be us
Baby baby what would I do
I can't imagine life without you.'
He pulled into her driveway. Only then did he feel the dampness on his cheeks. Through tear-blurred eyes he saw the door slowly open.
'Here I stand
With everything to lose.'
Her eyes sought him out.
'And all I know is I don't want to ever see the end.'
Not bothering to turn the Tahoe off, he climbed out and took two steps towards her.
'Baby please, I'm reaching out for you.'
Catherine's shoulders rose and fell gently with her soft sobs and she lifted open arms to him.
'Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in.'
Breaking into a run, Grissom ran into her welcoming arms and held her tight. "I'm so sorry, Catherine," he whispered.
Unable to speak, she held him even tighter.
It was a full five minutes before they loosened their hold on each other.
Grissom pulled back, not letting go of her, and looked into her eyes. "I don't even know where to begin."
She smiled.
His heart leapt. It was her smile for him. It was different from the one she had given the man in the diner.
"You might want to start by turning off the car and coming inside."
"Uh... yeah." He grinned and reluctantly let her go.
She waited for him at the door, stepping aside to allow him access.
Without a word, he took hold of her hand and led her to the couch where they sat side by side. "Catherine..."
"I'm sorry too, Gil. It's not all your doing you know."
"Yeah but... What happened to us?"
She shrugged. "Life?"
"Never got in the way before."
"I might know," she whispered but offered no more.
"What?"
Her eyes found his once again. "Jealousy."
"Cath, this was going on long before you met Chris."
She gave him a small smile. "So you are jealous of him?"
Slowly, he nodded.
"He's a nice guy," she told him.
"I'm sure his is. And I guess I should give him a chance – if only for you."
"However, that wasn't who I was talking about."
"Who else would I have been jealous of?"
"Not you. Me."
Confusion clouded his eyes.
"Sara."
"Sara?"
She nodded.
Taking one of her hands in his own, he held her gaze. "Catherine, nothing ever happened between me and Sara. Why would you think it did?"
"The way she looks at you. The way you gave her so much attention..."
He let out a small laugh. "And you thought...? She's more like a daughter to me than anything else. She was interested in learning about insects..."
"She was interested in you."
Grissom shrugged. "If she was I never saw it."
Sliding her hand from his, she stared down at the floor. "There was also hurt."
He remained silent.
"When Eddie died... I think that's really when this started. You..." Finding a new strength, she looked at him. "You weren't there for me. I needed my best friend and you didn't have time for me. Gil, do you have any idea how much that hurt?"
"I... Catherine, I didn't know how to react. To be honest I was glad he was dead. I was glad he was finally out of your and Lindsey's lives. I wasn't sure if I would be capable of giving you the support you needed."
"Geez, Gil," she shouted, standing up. "It wasn't about Eddie. I mean, it was, but I almost lost Lindsey and that was what I needed your support for. I loved Eddie, sure. But we were divorced. I knew what he was. I knew what he did. But Gil, it was Lindsey." Tears began to flow freely as she opened up to him. "If I had found the car only moments later she would have... she might have..." Covering her mouth, she turned from him.
At that moment everything seemed to fall into place for him. His job required him to focus on the non-living victims and that was what he had done then. Truth be told though...
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't think of it that way because... because it terrified me to think of how close we came to losing her," he admitted then stood up and walked over to her.
Slowly she turned so she was facing him. The use of the word 'we' had not gone unnoticed. "Why didn't you say something?"
"I didn't think it was my place. It wasn't my family."
"Gil, you are family. How could you ever have doubted that?"
"You didn't come talk to me either."
Her eyes fell from his.
Lifted her chin with his finger, he smiled at her. "It's okay. I should have been the one to go to you. I'm sorry."
"We seem to be apologizing a lot to each other."
"When does Lindsey get home?"
"Not for another few hours, why?"
"Because I don't want to waste anymore time. I want us to be 'us' again and if we are going to do that then we have a lot to talk about and clear up."
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she held him close.
TBC.....