The school field trip was to a small museum an hour drive away from Rosewood and Spencer and Aria had been put in the same group. While Spencer was avidly writing notes on everything they saw, Aria tried to focus on the little things around her. The museum didn't have big enough walkways to fit more than four people across so they had to travel in tightly packed groups, and she was trying to remember something her therapist may have said to help distract her. None of the girls knew that her parents had her seeing a new therapist, and she didn't plan on telling anyone at all. It would be simple – see this new one for a few weeks, get better, and then everything would be back to normal. That was the plan she had eight weeks ago at least, but nothing had seemed to get better.
Talking was supposed to help, which was probably the reason why Aria hadn't yet progressed anywhere. Every session was sat either in silence or talking about pointless topics, such as what models were wearing the previous night on America's Next Top Model. She didn't even watch that programme, but neither did her therapist so it was a fun activity trying to make up all the outfits on the spot. Anytime the conversation drifted towards how Aria felt in big crowds of people she would nod and say, "I'm getting better," before hurriedly talking about the lasagne her dad tried and failed to cook earlier in the week.
The tour guide moved their group around the corner and a small look of relief was evident on everyone's faces as they thought it was the end of the exhibit. What they hadn't seen yet was the sign saying Exhibit continues upstairs. "Hey, that looks like something Miss Danbridge would wear," Spencer joked quietly in Aria's ear whilst pointing at a grotesque fur-covered animal behind a glass wall. The ends of Aria's mouth turned up into a smile but Spencer could tell that she was distracted. She had been like this for a while, but Spencer hadn't wanted to bring it up. Just like Hanna and Emily had a connection, she felt that she and Aria had the same. She could tell when something wasn't quite right, and she knew there must be a reason – if only she could figure it out.
As the guide finished talking everyone began walking towards the coffee shop sign, but before they could get close enough to smell the coffee beans they were being directed towards the elevator. Even Spencer was getting tired of making endless notes on stuffed animals, but she dragged her heels by Aria's side towards the metal doors. It was only when those doors started opening that she heard the tiny gasp from her side as if someone were crying, and as she turned her head she noticed that quiet tears were running down Aria's cheeks.
Instantly she placed her hand lightly on Aria's arm, and the smaller girl seemed to respond instantly by grabbing onto part of Spencer's shirt at her waist. She was anxious to hold onto something familiar and calming, and Spencer was in reach. "What's wrong?" Spencer asked but there was no response, not even eye contact. Everyone around them was talking in loud voices, using gossip to numb the dullness of the trip. Aria's mouth was moving but if any sound was coming out it was almost silent. Spencer leant closer and managed to hear the words, "I can't do this."
Aria wiped away the tears from her face and clenched her jaw for a moment before repeating, "Please, no more people." Hoping that she had understood what Aria was saying, Spencer held tightly onto Aria's arm and pulled her out of the crowd before they were pushed onto the small elevator. She saw an emergency exit at the side of the building and pushed through more visitors so that they could reach it. When they did, she pushed open the door and pulled Aria into the fresh air. "What's wrong?" she asked again, hoping for a more distinct answer.
With all the sound of gossip and people moving about taken away, Spencer was able to hear Aria's breathing. It was short and sharp, as though someone had taken away her lungs and replaced them with thimbles. "Aria, look at me," Spencer demanded; her voice blunt enough to finally draw Aria's attention and eye contact. "You're okay, I promise," she said and placed one of her hands over Aria's, which was still clutching tightly onto her shirt. "It's okay – there's no one around out here but me."
After about twenty more seconds Aria seemed to calm down and the panic in her eyes slowly diminished, relaxing at the sight of Spencer. "I'm… I'm okay," she eventually managed to say, hoping to get away without more questions. She wiped away the tears that still lingered on her face and put on a brave smile, but Spencer wasn't buying it. Realising that she had some explaining to do, Aria eventually sat down on the concrete and rested her back against the wall. Perhaps talking to Spencer would be better than having to face the museum again.
She waited until Spencer sat down next to her and began, "It's just people, and when they crowd around I can't focus properly. Too many people kind of scrambles my mind and I can't think."
"How long has this been going on?" Spencer asked; her voice full of concern.
Aria thought for a moment even though she knew the answer. "Since the night on the train. It's been gradually getting worse."
"Why didn't you talk to us?"
Aria shrugged. She genuinely didn't know the answer to that question; it just hadn't felt right or easy to tell anyone about it. Eventually she said, "I didn't want you to think I'm weak."
Spencer reached across and stroked Aria's arm. "No one thinks you're weak. Honestly, you're one of the bravest out the lot of us. You're small, but you're big." She knew that would make Aria smile, and it did. It was a relief to see her smile – it was a nice reassurance that the panic had subsided. "I'm okay at first," Aria explained, "Like when we first got into the museum I was okay, but if I'm constantly having to be in a group of all these people smothering around me then it soon feels like a wave of people and I can't get out."
"I understand. Whenever we're out in groups or crowded places, just stick with me and I promise I'll help. If you just need to hold my hand so you know I'm there or if you want me to take you somewhere with less people then I will. I won't say anything to the other girls or draw attention to it, just use me when I'm there, okay?"
"Okay," Aria nodded. She smiled gratefully and as they stood up Spencer playfully punched her arm and said, "You're tougher than you think."