I have seen the rise and fall of empires. I have seen things that you will never see in your lifetime, things which no one remembers except the bones in the ground.

I am not just the man you see standing before you, with the mesmerizing eyes and the high cheekbones and intellect far higher than anyone you've ever met: I am a farmer, a foot soldier, a gladiator, a philosopher, a stargazer, a priest, an aristocrat, a million others, shedding lives like some people shed clothes.

And I am always alone.

Down the centuries, I have been cursed with this blessing, if you can believe such a statement.

I have seen my loved ones being struck down countless times. I have seen friends wither and die faster than possible.

Wives, friends, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, all wiped out just like that.

Sometimes I kill myself.

Far less painful than being stabbed in the back.

Sometimes I do get stabbed in the back.

And wake up in a new place, in a new body. Still carrying the burden of all I've witnessed.

John…

I've seen men like Moriarty before. Worked for some of them, killed some of them, were brothers with some of them, loved some of them.

I see you down there, miles below me. Holding your phone, screaming my name. I am standing on the roof. I have stood on a roof like this before, decades ago. No one was calling my name like you are now.

My phone, I toss it away.

All these words I cannot say. I want to tell you my burdens, I want to tell you that I love you like a brother, that I am alone. Have always been alone.

Your presence changed everything. You made me feel as though I were not alone. I want to embrace you now, tell you that this time, I will not die.

Not today, not yet.

You will think I'm dead, and I am sorry for deceiving you, for putting you through the pain that will follow in a few minutes.

Truly.

My eyes are watering. My voice will tremble if I speak, I know.

Tell Lestrade, tell Mrs. Hudson, tell them all that I am so, so sorry.

I stretch my arms, and if I close my eyes, I can almost imagine that I have wings. I look down at you, take a deep breath.

I am immortal. If my plan does not succeed, I shall die, and a child will be born somewhere, and he will be me. And I will find you, I promise I will.

John, trust me. Trust me, I have not told you this secret yet, but one day I will.

I'll make it up to you when I come home.

I let myself topple forward. Legs kicking, arms flailing. I hear you scream my name, one last, desperately final time. The wind rushes at me. I close my eyes as the ground rushed up to meet me.

I am immortal, but I will not die.

Because if I do, I'll lose my favorite life. And you.