A season six speculation fic, in which all spoilers are fair game (ignoring anything learned from articles about the screener release - because we wanted to stay as true to our original idea as possible). IF YOU ARE SPOILER FREE, WHY ARE YOU STILL READING? The only minor deviation we've made is changing the gender of new NYPD detective from male to female - and you'll see why later in the story ;) So we are aware that aspect won't pan out accurately. Rated M for sexual content in later chapters.
Disclaimer: We don't own anything you recognize - and dialogue from the Castle/Pi scene has been adapted from the leaked audition tape. The title has even been shamelessly borrowed from one of the episodes, because we thought it fitted so well. Everything you recognize is therefore property of Andrew Marlowe, and we're just borrowing them because we take great pleasure in making their lives that little bit more complicated. We do own Detective Stephanie Dunbar, and any resemblance to any other person is purely accidental... Basically just don't sue us because we're destitute university students ;)
Need to Know
Chapter One
"Thank you, one night will do. It is just a short trip to the city," he said, holding out his credit card to the hotel receptionist.
"Oh, that sounds lovely," she responded, swiping the card and returning it to him with a polite but manufactured smile, "and are you here for business or pleasure?"
"Perhaps both, I'm visiting an old friend," he answered with a grin, which didn't quite meet his eyes. He wasn't even lying. This was exactly the reason he had come to New York after all those years. Seven years since he had last seen her. He didn't plan on making it eight.
"I just need your signature here," the brunette receptionist said and then, with a carefully manicured index finger, she tapped onto the form they had already filled out to indicate where he needed to sign.
"Of course you do," he said and did as she asked, rewarding her politeness with a brilliant smile, "thank you very much - Diane," he added, gaze flicking briefly to the brass name tag on her shirt.
The receptionist blushed, clearly charmed by his features and demeanor, "have a nice day." She handed him the keys and he smiled at her again before he turned around and faced the lifts to his respective floor. He had chosen one of the highest levels to have a good view over the city. At least that was his official cover up story, should anyone ask and he had a feeling that come tomorrow people would be very interested in the occupant of room 1147. The receptionist and any other person didn't need to know that everything about him indeed was a cover story. Naturally, the name on his credit card was bogus. As was his reason to stay in the city. Wait, that was at least half true. He was going to be meeting an old acquaintance.
When he arrived at his floor and the doors of the lift slowly opened, he quickly scanned for his room number on the metal plates on the wall and turned right. Meeting no one, he observed where the surveillance cameras were placed to avoid them at all times. His dark grey hoodie shirt provided his first disguise and he covered his head and forehead with it, just slightly lifting his head to find his room. Mere moments later he stood in front of 1147 and slipped his key card into the slot. The door opened with a small noise and he was in, shutting it with a mechanical click behind him.
As soon as he had put his small black bag on one of the beds, he opened it and meticulously checked the contents. He was pretty sure he had packed everything he would need to fulfill his plan. Surgical knives, his black leather gloves, lock picks and several other gadgets. Not to forget his small caliber gun, unmarked of course. Nothing could hint at him. He would need to cover up his whole mission as it was semi-official.
He stepped towards the windows and took in the unobstructed view of the New York skyline. What a beautiful day it was. It felt good to be back. It was almost a shame he couldn't stay, but he needed to speak to his informant and then needed to assess possible access points to her building. It would be tomorrow.
It was unusual for Kate Beckett not to be dressed at this hour. It had just gone eleven and yet there she was sat cross-legged on her couch, barefoot and wearing his favorite Green Lantern t-shirt. She was also eating dry cereal straight from the box, having realized when she went to the fridge that she was out of milk.
Today was a rare day off, her first in just over a month and aside from shopping, which seemed like something of a necessity given the lack of food in her cupboards, she looked forward to having nothing of any importance to do. She was contemplating catching a movie if there was anything worth watching, and maybe tackling the pile of unread books on her nightstand, because it just seemed to keep growing. An aspiring Mount Everest of mystery and - which was new - more romantic novels.
A knock on the door broke her from her musings and dragged her back to the present. She placed the box on the floor, uncurling her body and getting to her feet. The knocking became more persistent, "I'm coming!" she yelled, yanking open the door, "would it kill you to have a little patience?"
"Probably not, but why take that risk?"
Her head turned so quickly that she was surprised she didn't give herself whiplash. There in the hallway stood Castle, dressed in a pair of beige slacks and a blue shirt with the top few buttons undone. His twinkling eyes met hers for a mere moment before raking observantly over her body, gaze lingering appreciatively on her long tanned legs. "I wondered why I couldn't find this last time I went home," he said conversationally, plucking at the material of the shirt, "it figures that I must have forgotten it."
"Rick," she breathed, doing a double take to find him stood there in her hallway, because he was in the middle of preparing for the release of 'Deadly Heat' and the case her team had solved yesterday afternoon, they weren't expecting to wrap up anytime soon. The short of it was they'd both been rushed off their feet and hadn't been able to arrange seeing each other for another fortnight. "You're here," her entire face lit up and her lips curved up into a mega-watt smile.
She grabbed him by his belt loops, causing him to drop his duffle bag on the floor, but neither of them paid it any attention, his arms lacing around her waist and his lips brushing chastely across hers. "You didn't forget it," she said suddenly into the silence, burying her face in his chest, and he had to really listen to catch the rest of her sentence, "your shirt I mean- I took it out of your bag when you were in the shower."
She felt him smile into the top of her head, and one hand came up to pull her hair out of the messy bun it was in, tangling in her curls, before moving down and tilting her head gently upwards to enable eye contact.
There was nothing gentle about what happened next though. She captured his mouth in a kiss that left him feeling like he might spontaneously combust at the sensation it created. Her kiss was rough, mouth parting in desperation, teeth and tongue worked in conjunction to release that little noise he makes, because she has missed that so much. Castle was by no means a passive participant, responding to the kiss with every bit as much pent up desire, pushing them to the point where they were both rendered breathless.
"What are you doing here?" She murmured when their foreheads rested together. She brushed her nose against his in an eskimo kiss, unable to hide how giddy she felt as they both tried get their heart rates under control.
"I was writing and I saw on the news that you got your guy," Castle said, his hands unconsciously finding the hem of the t-shirt and toying with it. "Nice picture they used of you too, it really did your assets justice."
Kate's face turned a stunning shade of magenta and she ducked her head, with a muttered "shut up," causing him to chuckle. "I meant to call last night and tell you, but I laid down for a moment and woke up about an hour ago. What about you? Don't you have important writerly duties to attend to?"
His hands have now slid beneath the shirt and are tracing circles against the soft skin of her thigh, "why do you think I'm here? I can't have my muse suffering from abandonment issues."
"That definitely wouldn't be conducive to your productivity," Kate played along, barely suppressed mirth reflected in her eyes, but she was unable to contain her grin.
Castle's shirt slipped down off one of her shoulders, "I've actually made a start on the new book so I figured I'd surprise you." The tail end of his sentence was hummed out against her shoulder, mouth descending on the newly revealed expanse of skin.
She leaned into his touch, sighing in delight as his dexterous fingers located her hipbone, her hands beginning to do some exploring of their own. She'd never been one for surprises, although she supposed she might make this an exception.
From the outset everything seemed the same within the 12th precinct, although there was an unusually low hum of activity in the bullpen. The only constant was the irritating buzz of a temperamental air conditioning unit - in its futile effort to combat the blistering temperatures of late - punctuated by officers bickering over whose turn it was to do a food run or the even more occasional ring of a telephone.
Things were unusually quiet on the murder front. It had been ten days since they wrapped up their last case and what had initially been a welcome reprieve was beginning to grate on their every last nerve. All active cases had been prepared ready for trial and there were only so many times a person could look through decade old cold cases without losing their mind.
Ryan had initially welcomed the paperwork days with open arms, as had his pregnant wife Jenny. Even if the precinct hadn't been the safest of all places in the past, she much preferred her husband to be in its confines rather than being put at risk while working in the field. The farther along in the pregnancy they had gotten and the more Jenny had showed, Ryan had become over protective and over-informed.
A day hadn't gone by over the last three weeks where he wasn't talking about his latest Google and Youtube findings regarding education, latest baby milestones and decoration ideas. All of that before they had learned about the gender as the baby had been shy and had turned whenever they had tried. Ryan had started calling it 'my shy bean,' if it was a reference to a soy bean he had left open, Esposito really didn't find it funny, either way.
"... and by its first birthday we could have it weaned," Ryan said and Esposito fought to suppress a yawn. This got more difficult the longer Ryan talked about all things baby. Fighting back the annoyance at your own partner did, too.
"Weaned?" asked Esposito, to fake an interest in the topic.
"Yeah, weaned. Jenny and I have agreed on her breastfeeding almost a full year. It's supposed to be best to do it longer, as breast milk ultimately is the healthiest way to start baby's life but you should also introduce solids. This is supposed to help with the tooth growth as well, but then again each baby is different and..."
"Yeah, I get it, I get it," Esposito cut in to prevent an endless monologue about baby weaning and to minimize the risk of either falling asleep or punching his partner in the face. His distraction came from an unlikely source, but he couldn't bring himself not to feel slightly relieved about it.
"Do you have a moment Detective Ryan, Detective Esposito?" The voice of their Captain cut authoritatively through the silence. It wasn't a question, they knew and the detectives in question glanced at each other before getting to their feet. This didn't sound good and they got the feeling they knew where this was headed because even though she was speaking to them Captain Gates had unconsciously glanced over to where Beckett's former desk sat empty, sans her writer's chair.
Even in the short time Beckett had been gone the 12th's case closure rate had dropped slightly, and it was no secret to anyone that she'd had been under a lot of pressure to replace her. "Sir?" Their suspicions were confirmed upon following their Captain into her office and noticing that they weren't the only occupants of the room.
The seat opposite her desk was taken by a woman who at first glance appeared to be the polar opposite of Beckett in every way. She was a good several inches shorter, wore black narrow rimmed glasses and her copper colored tresses were as straight as Kate's had been curled, framing her slightly square face. Her lips were painted a dark shade of red, standing out against her pale complexion in an attempt to make them appear fuller. You could be forgiven for thinking she was some kind of model, because the only evidence so far that she wasn't, was the badge clipped visibly to her shirt - a sheer white blouse, only half buttoned up and of which you could see the outline of the black tank top she wore beneath.
"When you've put your eyes back into your head, Detective Esposito, maybe you'll allow me to make the necessary introductions," Captain Gates started pointedly, and the hispanic detective's partner couldn't fight the urge to laugh. This quickly turned into a cough when she turned her glare onto him, "this is Detective Dunbar, who is joining us from Narcotics at the 33rd."
"Call me Steph," she angled her body towards Esposito and Ryan, "Detective Esposito right?" she took the proffered hand and smiled widely.
"In that case you can call me Javi," he returned the smile, still somewhat dazed by her appearance and it was all Ryan could do not to slap him upside the head. Anyone would think he didn't have a girlfriend - although if Lanie could be a fly on the wall - that would probably be a fairly accurate relationship status. Ryan was suddenly incredibly relieved to know that Lanie was not working in the same building, because put her in a bad mood, give her a scalpel and she was practically lethal. "This is my partner-"
"Ryan, Kevin Ryan," he jumped in, when Steph switched her focus to him.
"I trust you'll both show Detective Dunbar the ropes, so to speak. Detective Dunbar, your desk has been cleared for you to move into so I think that is everything for now. We don't currently have any active cases so I highly suggest you familiarize yourself with the division," Captain Gates broke into their introduction, before turning her attention back to the files on her desk. Steph seemed to interpret that as their cue to leave, which she did.
Something seemed to occur to both Ryan and Esposito simultaneously, although the latter of the detectives shook his head - there'd be a better time for this conversation. Later.
"Are you still here?" Captain Gates asked, barely glancing back up from her pile of paperwork, "and if either of you would like to tell me what you want, now would be appreciated."
"Sir - what about Castle?" Ryan ventured, receiving no help from his partner.
Their captain looked up at the mention of the writer's name, and gave them a piercing glare over the rim of her glasses. For a minute it seemed very much like she was going to launch into a tirade about civilians placing themselves in potentially volatile situations, but then the corner of her lip twitched slightly and Esposito could've sworn he saw her smile. "You tell him I said this and I won't stop until either of you are busted down to traffic, but Mr Castle has proved a surprisingly useful asset to the department over the last few months-"
"So he can come back?" he continued to press, unflinching when Esposito shot him a warning look. Don't push it.
"He has already been cleared to return, should he choose to do so." She didn't say as much but she didn't need to, because what she did say caused them all to wonder whether Castle would even want to come back, when Beckett was halfway across the country in DC. It had already been three weeks since they'd last seen him. Ryan wondered if Castle had lost his interest in following them around as Beckett might be providing the more interesting cases. Then again, was she even allowed to tell him about them or even have him tag along? Ryan doubted it but it seemed the only logical explanation as to why Castle hadn't expressed any interest in returning yet. "Tell Detective Dunbar I have some paperwork she needs to sign."
Esposito must have sensed that Ryan was lost in his thoughts so he tried to offer him a way out: "I think that's our cue to leave bro-"
Ryan stopped just outside the door and turned to his partner, who was wearing an equally stunned expression, "did that just happen?"
They passed along the message to their new colleague, and then to recover from the unexpected events in Gates' office, went into the break room to grab a cup of coffee. Although in Ryan's case, it was a bottle of green juice.
"Did you start that thing again?" Esposito asked flabbergasted. He had thought this period had been over since the cleansing sessions before the wedding but apparently not.
"No comment, bro," Ryan said and gulped down a large portion of the juice. Making their way back to their desks, Esposito eyed the Captain's office to see if the new detective was still in. Which she was, deeply in a conversation with Victoria Gates. Interesting.
Ryan had shaken off his surprise and apparently also the taste from the green juice as he was back to talking. Of course, he was talking about babies. Again. "There are so many cool toys we could get. Obviously, we would choose from the ones that also stimulate its intelligence at an early stage..."
"What? To make it a genius before it can even walk?" Esposito scoffed.
"Oh, I'm not sure it works that way," Ryan smiled indulgently, "but hey, if there are toys out there that are called 'baby genius', it can't hurt to try."
"Sure, sure," Esposito said, past trying to cover up the boredom that he felt, a combination of both the sheer amount of paperwork and the excessive amount of baby talk he was being exposed to. He sighed and turned back around towards his enormous pile of work. Esposito had always been a man of action and solely sitting down at a desk, filling out form after form, wasn't really what he liked too much. It was getting to the point where he actually wished that someone in the city fancied committing a murder. It was time for him to get out of this personal baby talk hell.
Considering the speed in which Ryan talked and the amount of words he had used in the last thirty minutes, Esposito was glad that a scan at Jenny's OB-GYN's office was scheduled in about an hour and a half. Ryan would probably have to leave in fifteen minutes as he planned a late lunch before.
"Eh Kev, I hate to break up Parenting digest but when do you have to get going?" Esposito asked, desperately trying to sugarcoat the hope in his voice that his partner had chosen to leave extra early.
Ryan took a quick look at his watch and panicked slightly as he answered, "In about ten minutes but there is no way I can finish this up before then!"
"Ah, you're going to lunch before the scan, right?" Esposito stated the already known.
"I am having lunch, Jenny is determined just to drink a diet coke to get 'shy bean' more active and moving. Hopefully this time it won't decide to play hide and seek because I really wanna know how we have to paint the nursery..." Ryan answered.
"If you wanna go extra early, I got this," Esposito offered and Ryan shot him a grateful look, grabbed his coat and hurried out of the precinct. Esposito let an audible sigh escape; it was going to be a long day.
Castle's phone buzzed signaling a new message and he quickly finished the paragraph which would conclude the opening chapter of 'Federal Heat' and saved his document before reaching blindly across the nightstand. As well as no fewer than four missed calls from Gina (whoops), there was a new text from Ryan.
Sliding his finger across the message he wanted to read, it unlocked the device and revealed an attached image. Castle tapped it once and a very grainy ultrasound filled the screen. He had to turn the phone around in order to try and make sense of it, and even then it was with difficulty. If that was the head - then what was-? He put it back the right way around, and his jaw dropped slightly as the penny dropped, before he grinned broadly. Holy shit.
He pulled up Ryan's contact details and hit the call button, listening to it ring once, twice, three times before the call connected. "Now it's been a while since I saw a scan picture and I could be wrong-"
"Wouldn't be the first time bro," there was static on the line, but Castle could clearly make out Esposito in the background.
"I've missed you too Javier," he answered, taking the ribbing good-naturedly.
"You're not wrong," even though he couldn't see him, he could hear Ryan's voice almost bursting with pride and elation, "I didn't believe it either at first."
"You're having twins?" Castle checked.
"We're having twins."
"I suppose I should congratulate you again."
"Thank you Castle, I appreciate it. Where are you at? Fancy coming along and livening up some boring paperwork days?" Ryan answered, hopefully.
"Ah, you know, I wish I could but I don't want to- I kinda hated those ones, really," Castle explained and chuckled.
"You say it like its news," the Irish detective laughed.
"Yeah, we do too bro," Esposito said.
Castle checked his watch, although he could still hear the sound of the shower running so he knew he had time to chat. "So other than that, how are things back at the twelfth?" Castle asked and the boys were more than eager to fill him in on pretty much everything that had happened since Beckett's departure.
"Oh you know Castle, nothing out of the ordinary," answered Esposito, "except for the hot new detective who was introduced to us today. Freshman when it comes to homicide, has worked Narcotics. Ryan says her career has been flawless so far, so we're hoping for the best.."
"Well I guess only time will tell," said Castle, "does Gates miss me?"
"Miss you, Castle," the hispanic detective grinned and it translated into his voice, „I would not necessarily say ,miss'..."
"But," Ryan cut in smugly, "Apparently you're an asset to the department..."
"She did not say that-"
"Neither did honeymilk here, if he knows what's good for him." Esposito jibed and Castle had to bite back a laugh.
At the end of the line he could make out a loud scuffling sound, a lot of heavy groaning and a muffled, "shit, my ribs," followed by a yell from Ryan.
"Guys?" Castle asked, being completely ignored, so he raised his voice. "GUYS are you okay?"
"Yeah, Castle, fine," Ryan managed, glaring at Esposito and adding, "She also says you're cleared to return if you'd like."
"Do you have a desire to be directing traffic or something?"
"Now I know you're making it up," laughed Castle, interrupting their bickering.
Kate shut off the cold water which she liked to use as extra refreshment after her shower and attempted to wring her hair with her hands before wrapping it into one of the towels. She stepped out of the cubicle and looked at herself in the mirror surprised to find that her relaxed state transferred onto her appearance. As much as she'd known she missed having him around, she hadn't realized exactly how much good he did her when he was there.
She stepped away from the mirror and, opening the door a fraction, listened, hearing Castle laugh as he wrapped up a call. She reached across her vanity for her phone and not unlike Castle had done earlier, discovered a series of missed calls, "have you been screening your ex-wife's calls again?" Her voice floated through the apartment as she towel-dried her hair.
"Which one?" Castle grinned, appreciatively as she moved into view - standing in the doorway with just a towel wrapped around her body. He reached for her, hands finding her hips and pulling her against him, supremely unconcerned at fact the front of his clothes were now damp.
Kate rolled her eyes, letting him know that she didn't appreciate the reminder, and stepping out of his personal space so she could finish getting dressed. "The one who has taken to calling me up almost daily and asking for an ETA on the new book, all because you can't be bothered to deal with her." Exasperation laced her words, and she jabbed her finger into Castle's chest, but her annoyance quickly faded. "Who were you talking to anyway?"
"Ryan - and Esposito," he answered, relieved at the change of subject. He pulled up the photo again and held the phone up so she could see, "come check this out!"
Kate took it from him, and had very much the same reaction to the photo. Her brow knitted together in obvious confusion, and she tilted her head to one side, "What am I supposed to be seeing?"
Castle reached out, gripping her around the wrist and pulling her down onto the bed with him. She wanted to protest, but instead found herself curling into his side, "you're cute when you're confused," he muttered, almost inaudibly, dropping a kiss on top of her wet curls. "Give it here."
She did as he instructed, and he pointed at a white mass on the screen, "that's baby number one," Castle tilted the phone slightly- "and that is baby number two."
"They're having twins?" She sought clarification, wonderment in her voice, and feeling a sudden wave of emotion that she couldn't quite place, and struggled to tamper down.
"That's the most relevant news, yeah," Castle answered and fixated a spot on the wall, lost in his own recollections of the discovery that Meredith was pregnant with Alexis. He was shaken out of the memories by his fiancée questioning him.
"How are things at the 12th? Did you ask?" Kate asked, surprised by how desperately she wanted to hear any news.
"It's pretty quiet by all accounts," Castle said, watching her carefully, "your replacement started today. According to Ryan she's named Stephanie and it was her first day in homicide - she came from narcotics." He eyed her warily, unsure of how she'd take the news and from the glance they exchanged it didn't seem like she understood her feelings either.
"You'll never believe what Gates apparently said about me though?" He hastily tried to change the subject.
"What?" Kate asked, though it was clear she was only half hearing him, her thoughts a million miles away from their conversation.
"That I've been an asset to the team and that I can go back if I want to," there could be no mistaking the pride in his voice, but Kate was altogether too focused on the latter part of his statement to comment on it.
"Do you want to?" she asked, frowning.
"I don't know," Castle answered honestly, "I mean I didn't even think it was still an option so I never thought about it. Would it be such a bad thing if I did want to?"
"No," Kate murmured, although she wouldn't have convinced anyone with the tone she used.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Maybe I'd be more inclined to believe you if nothing wasn't such a dear friend of yours. You don't think I should go back." Castle stated.
"That's not what it is," Kate countered defensively, pulling out of their embrace, getting to her feet and beginning to pace the space in front of the bed. "I just think you need to be careful. This is dangerous Rick, now more than ever."
Castle laughed hollowly, "seriously? Kate, I've followed you around for five years and in that time i've been held at gunpoint and locked in a freezer. I watched you get shot- and let's not forget our encounter with Toby the tiger. You can't pull the dangerous card on me- I think I know what's at stake here."
"And each of those times I was with you."
"Yes, and if you remember rightly I've saved your life more than you've saved mine," he tried to lessen the tension slightly but his words did nothing to soften the annoyance on her face. "And in case you've forgotten, it's not like I'm going off on some one-man crime fighting mission. Ryan and Esposito are trained for this."
Kate glared at him, throwing up her hands in frustration, "I know that," she snapped, infuriated by his attitude.
"And your problem with me potentially catching a few cases with the boys then would be?" he retorted, his annoyance at her ambiguity clearly showing.
"It is nothing," she answered stubbornly but could not deceive him.
"This Mr. Nothing seems to be a person dear to your heart as you mention him quite often. Why haven't we been introduced?"
Kate snorted but smiled, "have you ever considered that maybe it is just because I wanna make sure that you're safe? That I can't do that from 250 miles away?"
"And I think Ryan and Esposito are perfectly able to pull this off," he answered, "besides, I still have that paper signed ..."
"... that your lifeless remains cannot sue the city!"
"Exactly. So we can discuss this later, when I'm back in New York unless you really want to spend what little time we have together arguing?"
Kate bit back the retort that was on her tongue, letting an almost inaudible sigh escape, "you're right." she concedes, rejoining him on the bed. "You wanna go out and have dinner like we talked about?"
Castle was about to respond when as if on cue, Kate's phone began to ring and her face fell as she checked caller I.D, "Agent Beckett." She listened intently, dismay further clouding her features and teeth sinking into her bottom lip, "Okay I'll be there in twenty," she replied, ending the call and turning to Castle.
"Can we take a raincheck?" She asked sheepishly, "I can't explain why right now, but I've gotta go into work."
"Go," Castle said, forcing himself to smile, "I've still got four chapters to write before Monday, so it's not like I'll be short of anything to do."
"I shouldn't be too long, a couple of hours at most," Kate said, distracted from the conversation by trying to get dressed, "I'll pick up dinner on the way home."
A couple of hours quickly turned into four, and then six and by the time Kate let herself back into the apartment, it was just after 11pm. The room was completely dark, with the exception of the bright white light of Castle's laptop screen revealing him sat bolt upright on the sofa, apparently fast asleep. She switched on the light and he didn't even stir, and felt a stab of guilt upon noticing containers of half-eaten take out and empty beer bottles on the coffee table. As she took away the laptop, she also didn't fail to notice that the document was empty, with the exception of the chapter heading.
Abandoning her own Chinese on the kitchen counter- because she wasn't really all that hungry anymore- she moved to the couch and dropped down onto the sofa beside him. He seemed to sense the movement because his eyes opened a fraction, "Kate, hi." Sleep infused his voice and she didn't know whether he did it knowingly, but he pulled her body into his side, meeting no resistance.
"Hey Castle," Kate murmured, a tired smile making its way onto her face, and she leaned further across and feathered her lips against his cheek, "are you going to wake up for me?" As much as she could quite cheerfully have fallen asleep like that, she knew they'd regret it in the morning when they couldn't move.
Castle blinked twice, trying to clear the sleep from his field of vision, "so much for a couple of hours," he answered groggily, as he became more aware of his surroundings.
"I'm sorry Castle," she apologized, mouth close to his ear, "I just got caught up, and then I didn't notice the time until it was almost nine. I do have the morning and most of the afternoon off tomorrow, if you want to do breakfast instead. My treat?"
"Mhmm maybe," his response was unenthusiastic and Kate tried to put it down to tiredness but at the same time she couldn't quite quell the tears that welled up in her eyes.
He had every right to be frustrated but at the same time it felt like he didn't quite understand the demands of her new job. Sometimes it felt like he wasn't even trying, "let's just go to bed for now. We'll decide tomorrow." she said softly, getting up from her place and letting her hair fall across her face as she held out a hand to pull him up.
Their weight distribution was uneven, Kate stumbled slightly and she would have fallen if it wasn't for the vice-like grip he had on her wrists, putting them in greater proximity than they had been in a while. Castle let go of her with one hand, reaching up and wiping away the the tear track that glistened on her cheek, "you look exhausted."
"I'm okay," Kate answered automatically, having to stifle a yawn which didn't go unnoticed by her fiancé. He reversed their positions, using the remaining grip he had on her to steer her towards the bedroom and propelled her gently down onto the bed into a sitting position.
Kate unbuttoned her blouse, discarding it carelessly on the floor, quickly followed by the plain white bra. At the same time Castle, with surprising grace, slid her pants down her legs and went to toss her the t-shirt of his which she slept in when she was alone, but she shook her head. "Don't need that," she murmured sleepily, "I've got you."
She was too tired to notice the slightly delighted look that lit up Castle's face - whether at her words or the apparent lack of clothing in which she planned to sleep - and crawled up the bed, collapsing on her side. He quickly undressed down to his boxers and slid in beside her, pulling the covers up over them and moving so his chest was pressed to her back. Then they slept.
Did you ever have the feeling that the room you were in became smaller and smaller and it felt like the walls were gradually coming closer? How did one manage not to panic?
Even the short plane ride from Washington D.C. to New York City apparently could make someone suffer from those malicious mind ticks. Tricks which the mind played preferably on those who just wanted to calm down after a big storm. Neither fate nor the workings of his brain had had mercy with him during the last twelve hours. Too much had been going on and he couldn't bear thinking at the moment, he needed silence in his head, he needed to focus on the things that lay ahead. Except that he didn't want to, either.
Small beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He had already rolled up the sleeves of his black dress shirt but still felt hot, despite the air conditioning that was working with full force to keep the air in the cabin breathable and acceptable for the duration of the flight. He swallowed hard and pushed the small button on the screen in front of him to call a stewardess. He nervously played with the knob of the flip down table in front of him and waited for the flight attendant to arrive.
"You need anything, sir?" the young stewardess politely and unobtrusively said as soon as she stood beside him and he asked her for a cup of water. His tongue felt irrationally dry and even if it was probably just another thirty minutes the plane with be in the air before initiating the landing process he felt like he needed any intake of fluids he could get. Especially when the things that probably awaited him back in the loft slowly crept back into his all too conscious mind. He swallowed again and waited for the stewardess to return with his much needed water.
"Here is your water, Mr. Castle" she said and looked at him questioningly, quite apparently wondering if she was to place it on the table in front of him, which was still hidden in the back of the seat in front of him, or if he directly wanted to grab the cup and drink as the tone of his voice had sounded quite urgent.
"Ahh, thanks" he responded after a quick moment of remembering where he was and who he was speaking to. His mind had been elsewhere. Again. He read the name on the name tag that the young woman wore and said: "Thank you, Melanie, I appreciate it."
"Would you mind signing my copy of 'Frozen Heat?'" the stewardess asked and he grinned weakly as she already held the book and a pen in her other hand which was now outstretched and the bluish cover of his book almost touched Richard Castle's face.
"Sure" he said and received the book, flipped it open and added "do you want me to make it out to someone in particular?"
"Oh, just Melanie is fine, thank you" she responded and suppressed a giggle. Clearly, a fan. He half expected the questions asking about the sources for his inspiration, where he got all the ideas from or the ever so frequent and popular 'I am your biggest fan' but Melanie didn't use any of those, just silently stared at the little sentence that he had just scribbled into the book to make it out to her.
"To Melanie,
Who graced me with her presence and saved me from dehydration.
You have a lovely smile,
Richard Castle"
Forty minutes later the plane touched down at JFK airport and he climbed out of the vehicle as one of the first people, customarily greeted by the cabin crew and the chef steward. After he confirmed that everything had been to his liking, he stepped onto the landing tunnel and took out his phone, switched it on and waited for the never ending beeps and jingles awaiting him after his hour-long disconnection.
After all the buzzing and beeping had calmed down, he did a quick scan of the incoming messages, emails and missed phone calls to estimate if he had missed anything important but apart from safe travel wishes and some spam emails, there was barely anything that made it worth stopping and replying to there and then.
At that moment in time that would only have applied to a message or a voice mail from Kate. Considering the fact that he had left her apartment in D.C. right after she had gotten another call to come into work earlier, despite being told she had the morning off.
"Castle, look, this is important. We've made a headway with this case and now things are finally becoming clearer. They need me to come in, we might have the first real breakthrough in days and I..."
"I understand" he said, his enthusiastic expression had already turned into a crestfallen one, "the job comes first. This case comes first. And then the next case will be equally challenging which will mean that you'd be working until the wee hours of the night, too. After that is done, you might meet the next challenge. I get it, Kate. It will always come first, you know it and I know it - so why don't we just stop lying to ourselves?"
"Listen, Castle..." Kate started but soon realized that he not only had a point but also had given up making her understand how disappointed he was.
"Remember when I said that I could write anywhere? You know, I might as well do that back at the loft. I could also catch up with Ryan and Esposito. Thinking about it, this is exactly what I am going to do. It's better if we just stick to our prearranged visits, because hopefully that way neither of us will end up disappointed" he strode past her and made his way to the closet to fetch his carry on.
"It's not so bad, Kate," he added, turning back towards her watching her face fall and the corners of her mouth turn south, but really he was trying to convince himself as much as her. "I'll see you in two weeks like we planned and it'll be your turn to visit next. There's my release party coming up in a couple of months and I really, really, really want to show you off."
He strode through the airport to baggage claim, got his little suitcase in record time and headed for the exits, phone on his ear, the connection already establishing.
"Hey Alexis? Yeah, I'm home..."
As he turned the key in the lock of the loft, he wondered if he was really coming home. He felt like the loft had lost part of the meaning of 'home' for him since Beckett wasn't here with him, but in the end it had been her choice. And no matter how ready he had felt to support her no matter what she chose and decided, slowly doubt crept into his mind and he was having second thoughts about the lack of limits this assurance had insinuated.
He hadn't been happy, hadn't been able to appreciate the visits with her, unable to see her during her work time and even her leisure time had been interrupted by work calls or her being on standby, ready to jump out of the door as soon as she was needed.
Coming home to the loft also meant coming home to ...
"Mr. C, you're home, Che passa?!" said an all too cheerful young voice and he cringed at the sound. Wonderful. Pi was home.
"Where's Alexis?" he asked as soon as the door had closed behind him and he had taken a few steps toward the intruder.
"Oh, she went shopping with grandma C..."
"That's grandma R to you ... 'R' as in 'Rogers'."
Ignoring the underlying disapproving tone in the voice of the older man, Pi turned around and got back to the preparation for the dinner before he realized that he hadn't actually explained his plans. So he turned back around and faced Castle again. "Oh, I volunteered to make dinner tonight and I'm gonna get ahead on the prep. Can I count you in for a nice juicy steak?"
"Well, sure..." Castle said but after a second glance at the ingredients which had been laid out, he arched an eyebrow partly in surprise, partly in disgust and finished his sentence "...that's not steak!"
"That's papaya steak. The juiciest steak that there is...," answered the young man, clearly oblivious to Castle's notion of pain at the comparison between a much anticipated steak that actually consisted of ... well, steak ... and the thing that was being prepared at that moment.
"Is that all fruit?" he asked, his tone laced with disbelief.
"Of course, Mister C. That's all I eat, I'm a fruitarian," Pi said with unbroken conviction and apparent pride in his lifestyle.
"Of course you are." Castle let out a frustrated sigh. Naturally, the loft must have lost some of its appeal if it nowadays attracted all kinds of mad people. Fruitarian? Was that some kind of a job?
"It's the original diet of mankind. Nutrition as God intended ..."
"PI, don't take this the wrong way but how long do you plan to be in residence with us here at Casa Castle?" He dreaded to hear the answer to his question but he simply had to know what the young man was up to. He had been living in their loft from the day he and Alexis had come back from Costa Rica.
"You know, I'm actually in a bind ... In a small kind of bind ... I live In Amsterdam but I kinda ... I kinda lost my passport ... but hey, you don't wanna hear about my troubles, you have your own." PI said, obviously sensing the fact that Castle's emotions were all over the place. And even if Castle wasn't too keen on the kid living in the loft at the too generous invitation of his daughter (and mother, for that matter...) he had to admit that he sometimes hit a nerve.
His nerves especially. Naturally even more so if he touched upon the sensitive topic that was Detective Katherine Beckett. Who now was an agent. Who now lived in a different city. Which was not New York. Which meant she didn't live with him. No more semi-cohabiting, not a chance of full cohabitation. She was gone.
"Hey Mr. C?" Pi asked and Castle who had been absorbed in thoughts about the brunette slowly came back into the here and now, "I take it things didn't go so well in D.C. with your fiancée?"
"No, they didn't..." Castle trailed off, absolutely unsure why on earth he was discussing this delicate issue with some stranger Alexis had picked up in Costa Rica.
"I hope you don't mind me bringing this up but, sometimes the best you can do in situations like this ... is talk about it!" This sounded like an offer to sit down with some fancy type of tea and talk things through. He was so going to decline that offer...
"You know what? You're absolutely right!" Castle turned around, away from the papaya steak, away from the awkward and too fruity fumes in the room and away from the fact that his daughter and mother were not home anyways. He craved a real steak. Or a burger. One with actual meat.
"Where are you going?"
Unable to hide his lack of affection for the guy, Castle just said: "Find someone to talk about it with..."
When he closed the door behind him, Castle felt the strong urge to slam it shut with more force than necessary but stopped himself before he could do so. No need to become childish and stubborn at his age again, no need to judge someone without really knowing him or her in the first place. Due to his growling stomach his focus shifted towards his imminent need for a real steak or a tasty burger so he made up his mind about where to go and ended up in a booth at Remy's, a big multi-layer burger and fries on the plate in front of him and a pint of freshly tapped beer. That felt so much better and he slowly eased back into the feel of the city and the familiar places that he loved and wanted to be at.
Parts of him felt empty without her and he longed for her presence. What he wouldn't give for her to sit opposite him, dipping one of her fries into a strawberry shake, laughing at his startled expression.
"What, Castle? I like strawberry shakes. They are my favorite!" She had said innocently the last time they were at Remy's, wearing a very convinced expression on her face while he shuddered with disgust. If he remembered correctly, they might actually have sat in the very same booth as he did now. He couldn't remember and he scolded himself for the lack of detailed knowledge he had about his time with Beckett. Hadn't it been his strength to notice the small details about situations? Hadn't this been the key to solving several crimes with Beckett's team? The team, which now no longer was Beckett's. Another thing that had changed. Nothing could ever replace her, though. No one could. At least not for him. Still he had missed several hints she had given him. Hadn't it been for his mother and daughter, he would not have figured out that he should actually consider sealing the deal with a small golden band on Kate's finger eventually. Or that there was the imminent need to do so.
"But why would you dip fries into the shake?" he had asked, still wearing a dumbstruck and disgusted expression on his face.
"Because it tastes good" was her simple response as she mumbled with her mouth full. He had found it quite adorable. Another quirk about Beckett, another layer of the onion he had unpeeled. And with so much more still to discover.
When he realized that he had been staring at his nearly empty plate for longer than probably was socially acceptable, he sighed and signaled the waiter that he was done. Once he paid his bill, he realized that he had to head back to the loft which meant another confrontation with the young man that claimed to have found the ultimate alternative lifestyle.
God, how much he hoped that Alexis wouldn't turn into some form of hippie as well. Even if he had encouraged her more than once to come out of her shell and to be more adventurous, being any sort of hippie simply didn't seem to fit Alexis' character. He shook his head and hailed a cab. It was time to face his fears.
What he didn't realize and couldn't even have spotted with his senses being more awake and attentive was that a pair of binoculars was directed at him, observing his every move.
He braced himself for the worst as he turned the key in the lock and opened the door to the loft.
"Richard!" exclaimed his mother and shot towards him at an unknown speed. He didn't think he'd ever seen her move so quickly. "You're back!" she added matter-of-factly and his forced grin became even more mask-like.
"Yes, mother, I'm back," he responded, hanging his coat on the coat rack and to make peace with the situation, at least for one evening, he added "I heard that the juiciest steak in the world can be found here?"
"It can" said Alexis flatly, making no move to hug her father. Instead she hovered in the kitchen, close to her friend, which was a strange thing for her to do in itself. Especially if her father had just returned from a longer trip to Washington D.C.. He decided to let it go and took his seat at his usual spot which was still set for an occupant, the mountain blue placemats shining in the candlelight.
"I'm tired" Alexis announced suddenly and without waiting for any responses she ascended the stairs to her former room which still remained to be hers. She hadn't returned to her dorm room once since she had come back from Costa Rica, probably also because it wouldn't be as comfortable and convenient as the loft. For this Castle was somewhat glad when he learned that Pi as a matter of course had moved into the vacant guest room. There was no way these two would be sharing a room in his apartment. At least not if he could prevent it from happening.
Castle shrugged his shoulders and decided that he wouldn't go after his daughter to find out what her mood swings were all about. Not tonight. Instead he would try to fight down his annoyance at the young intruder and would at least try to enjoy the meal that he had prepared for all of them.
Pi seemed to sense that Castle hadn't found someone to talk to just yet but was wise enough not to address it again. After he sat down the plates in front of Castle and Martha he excused himself and retreated back to the guest room. To read, as he said. Probably either about saving the rainforest or the healthiest food on the planet. Or a combination of the two.
"You don't like him too much," Martha stated matter-of-factly as soon as Pi was out of hearing range and Castle coughed out small chunks of Papaya.
"Oh come on, Richard, don't pretend that you like him. But we must still acknowledge that he is a charming young fellow with good manners ..." Martha added and Castle cut in: "And a strange taste in food. Not to mention the fact that he is quite intrusive."
"Well, dear, that is true," Martha said and took another small bite of her 'steak.' Castle just continued to gloomily stare at the papaya pieces on his plate. If he hadn't eaten beforehand, this might have starved him tonight. If he had to guess, the fridge wasn't filled with anything unhealthy but only with fruits, vegetables and all other things gross. He shuddered again, cringing at the thought of having to eat out each day that Alexis' friend spent in his loft.
"And now," Martha tried to get the conversation going once again, "do you want to tell me what has been going on with you and Katherine, dear? Oh, don't look at me like that Richard, something happened and I figure you wanna talk about it. And our friend Pi..." she trailed of, gesturing towards the guest room "...is surely not the right choice, although he offers his listening qualities to pretty much anyone who will listen."
Castle snorted and shoved the plate away from him. Enough of papaya steaks, steaks that didn't deserve to be called steaks. Enough of the secrets, he needed someone to talk to and if he had gathered anything during the last couple of months, he had learned that his mother sure had her moments of wisdom. He could use one of those about this situation. But at the same time what if he didn't like what she had to say.
"Do you mind if we talk about this later? I kinda have to sleep on that one," Castle said and Martha nodded apprehensively. He needed time to reflect on his own. She respected that.
"Whenever you're ready," she said and getting up, "don't bother about the plates. I'll take care of them if you want to go straight to bed. You look tired."
"Thank you for that assessment Mother," Castle retorted, only half sarcastically. Until she mentioned it, he had felt fine but now suddenly his head was beginning to pound and the exhaustion wasn't far behind.
Author's notes-
GoogleknowsUs:
Welcome to this wild ride. Thanks for your patience, we're aware that we meant to post this earlier, heartfelt apologies for that! I hope you enjoy speculating with Leigh and myself on how season 6 might start. Come back after „Valkyrie" and "Dreamworld" to see how accurate this might have been and laugh at us, if it hasn't been. We'd love to hear from you, find my twitter handle at "Googleknowsme".
If you want to speculate in a review, feel free to do so, also. We love to read them!
WriterLeigh:
Hollaa humanity (: We hope you guys are having as much fun reading this as we have had/continue to have brainstorming ideas & writing. I'm actually really proud of this story and where we're headed as its a completely different collaborative experience to anything I've ever done before. If you made it all the way to the end of this chapter then well done ;) Reviews are pretty much love! Constructive criticism is always welcomed. You can also tweet/follow me at "justleanneee"