Chapter One
"E-excuse me… Saoirse?" Sam muttered, her body shaking violently as she approached who she felt was the most beautiful girl in the world. Gorgeous red hair and green eyes, perfect skin with freckles and a beautiful, light Irish accent. Saoirse turned around and smiled at Sam.
"Hey, Sammy… How's it going?"
"I… I… I love you, Saoirse! Will you please go on a date with me?" She said, a little louder than she had meant to. The entire hallway was looking at them now. Some of them looked shocked, some of them were beginning to laugh. Sam could feel her face heating up at the shocked look on Saoirse's face. She was so embarrassed. She should never have said anything. What chance did she stand with someone as perfect as Saoirse McCullen?
Saoirse smiled. But then it turned into a smirk. She scoffed.
"You're joking, right? This is one of those American pranks you Yankees are so fond of, right?" She asked, giggling. "You're very funny, Sam Sharp." She said, turning back around, leaving Sam rooted to the spot she was standing, her entire body trembling, tears rolling down her cheeks. She didn't know it yet, but her life at school, her reputation had just been ruined.
Everyone had heard her confess to a girl. Everyone knew she was a freak, and everyone knew how Saoirse had reacted. It would become the subject of jokes and ridicule for months after that. Sam sighed and walked out of school, walking home. When she got there, Simon was already home, having missed school because he was sick.
"Hey, Sammy… Did you confess to that… Sair-sha guy today?" Sam nodded numbly.
"Does he feel the same way?" Sam shook her head. She couldn't even cry yet. The whole situation hadn't quite settled on her yet. She just needed to be alone.
"So… You're not going on a date with him? We don't get to meet him?"
"SHUT UP!" Sam screamed. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Suddenly, Sam ran up to her room, slamming the door and locking it so that nobody could bother her. She was so angry, so humiliated, so hurt. She felt herself finally collapse in heaving sobs that racked her body. She knew she was crying, but she couldn't hear the wails coming out of her mouth. Nothing seemed real. Saoirse was always such a sweet girl…
She thought for sure that even if Saoirse didn't return her feelings, she wouldn't make her feel so ashamed, so disgusting. The way Saoirse looked at her, it was like she was a piece of shit the red haired girl had just stepped in. The way she wrinkled her nose, even as she smiled broke Sam's heart. She and Saoirse weren't exactly close friends. But Sam would have done anything for Saoirse. All the Irish girl would have had to was tell her what to do, and she would have rushed off to do it without hesitation.
She wouldn't have given it a moment's thought. She loved Saoirse so much, and she would have done anything to see her happy. That's why it hurt so much when Saoirse mocked her like that. Sam heard a knock on her door. At first she ignored it. But then, the person knocked again.
"Leave me alone! I-I don't wanna talk to you!" Sam yelled. Simon's voice came from the other side.
"I'm sorry…" He said gently. Sam's eyes widened.
"What? Why are you sorry?" She asked.
"I gave you bad advice. I told you that you should tell Saoirse how you feel, and you got hurt because of it. I never wanted you to get hurt… You're the most amazing, perfect person in the world and I thought that everyone would feel the same way that I did.
"I knew you were nervous… But you're so modest that I just thought you were underestimating yourself." Simon said, sounding ashamed of himself.
"I'm sorry… I just wanted you to be happy… I never wanted you to get hurt… It's all my fault…" Simon cried, tears filling his light blue eyes.
Suddenly, Sam opened the door and Simon collapsed backwards, falling down at Sam's feet. She looked down at him with a smile, picking him up and hugging him tightly… Yeah, Saoirse had hurt her. She made her feel bad about herself… But if she had a brother as great as Simon, things couldn't be too bad. Why was she feeling sorry for herself like this? She smiled at Simon, kissing him on the forehead. Simon pushed her away.
"Ew, gross! Girl germs!" He said, holding her off of him. But secretly, he blushed slightly. He put on an act around other people, but Sam was his favorite person in the world. He would do anything for her. Sam laughed, shoving Simon playfully. Somehow, it was hard to stay upset around Simon. He was so energetic and playful that she had trouble not having the same level of energy as him.
Finally, they just sat down and talked for a while.
"So… Tell me about what happened?" Simon asked. Sam took a deem breath.
"Well… I went up to Saoirse… God, she's beautiful… She could make Aphrodite herself blush with her looks…"
"Alright, Sammy. Gross. I don't need to hear about how badly you want to make out with Saoirse. Wait… She?" Simon asked.
"Yeah… Saoirse's a girl. Um… I never told you that?" Sam asked, trying to remember whether she had ever mentioned the gender of her crush. It just didn't seem like it mattered.
"Is that a problem?" Sam asked, feeling nervous now.
"No… I just am surprised… I know some girls like other girls and some boys like other boys… But I don't know anyone like that myself. You should've told me."
"Ahaha… Sorry, sorry. Anyway, I went to talk to her and I told her exactly how I felt… I-I asked her if she wanted to go on a date with me… And she… Smiled… I-I was actually thinking that maybe she was gonna say yes… But then she smirked and asked me if I was joking. She asked if I was playing a prank and told me I was 'very funny'. But… Maybe I just surprised Saoirse… Just because she doesn't feel the same way as I do… Maybe everything will be fine…" Sam said hopefully.
"She's a nice person. I'm sure I can just talk to her. Everything'll be fine." Sam said, brushing her hair out of her face and braiding it. She always had trouble braiding her hair. It was weird. She was able to play an acoustic guitar pretty well, but braiding her hair was difficult.
"Here, lemme help you sis." Simon said. Sam had always wondered how Simon learned how to braid hair. It wasn't the kind of things most boys knew.
"There ya go, Sammy." Simon said, tying the braid off at the end. He always thought she had really pretty hair. Sam smiled and hugged Simon.
"Thanks… You're really the best brother in the world."
"I… No I'm not… I couldn't even protect my sister from getting hurt…"
"Hey… Don't say that, Simon… It's nobody's fault this happened. It's not your fault Saoirse doesn't feel the same way about me. I'm glad she was honest with me… I just wish she was a little more tactful about it." Sam said, holding Simon close to her and rubbing his head.
"Listen, Simon… You. Didn't do. Anything wrong. You helped me find the courage to admit who I am and I'm grateful to you for that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to finish my homework and go to bed."
Simon nodded and left the room, collapsing back on the couch. He was tired, too. A fever of 99.8, though it was down from yesterday when it was 101.2. He was recovering, and he was sure that he would be able to go to school again the next day… He didn't care much for school. But he liked his friends. There was a girl he was interested in, and he wanted to tell her how he felt, but he didn't want to seem like a weirdo. She was so cool, and he was just some dumb punk.
He groaned, lying back and falling asleep again. Maybe Sammy would know what to do. Sam always knew what to do. She had taken care of him for as long as he could remember. When their father was drunk. When their mother was working. When neither parent was home. When Simon was hungry and there was no food in the house. When Simon woke up with a nightmare and was scared. Sam was the greatest person in the world.
She always took care of him. She helped him with his homework, cooked for him, helped him clean his room, gave him a bath when he needed one, put him to bed. Mom couldn't be counted on. Dad was terrifying when he was drunk. But Sam… She was a rock… She was always there for him, but as much as he tried to be there for her… He had failed her. He cried softly as he fell asleep, hoping that Sam wasn't angry at him for being such a loser.