Summary: Naruto's hit that sad point in life where he's just unsure of everything he's done. Does it matter anymore? Would it all become better if he just...escaped for a while? SasuNaru,Narusasu, yaoi, Dark, OOC, Suicide-Attempt. Don't like, don't read.
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kimimoto, and Sasuke. Not me ):
Chapter 1: Again.
Oh, how many times Naruto had been in this situation before. He couldn't even count them on his fingers anymore—it depressed him to no end. He stood there, exhausted but unharmed, staring into the cold eyes of Sasuke Uchiha. The raven looked exhausted as well, because, though Sasuke would never admit it out loud, he and Naruto were so evenly matched it was almost scary. Sasuke had always been top dog of Konaha, always a step ahead of the blonde, but he'd weakened through his years of revenge.
"Sasuke," Naruto rumbled in his raspy voice, sounding old and tired. His hands were on his hips as he sized up the raven before him. Same midnight hair, same pale ebony skin, and same fighting stance where he held his sword close to his hip, ready to attack at any minute. The only thing that had really changed about Sasuke was his eyes. They'd always been troubled, dark eyes, but now they held less depth, as if Sasuke had permanently cut off the connection to his soul.
Sasuke smirked at the hesitant blonde. "What's wrong, dobe? Ready to give up?" And to his surprise, Naruto laughed, actually laughed at him. His grip tightened on his katana, sensing a new unknown feeling swelling up in the pit of his stomach. His dark orbs narrowed in confusion. "What's so funny, dobe?"
Naruto's laughter subsided finally, though its strange echo lingered around the two shinobi. "Well, Sasuke, I was just laughing at the fact that you call me dobe, when you yourself are the moron here." Naruto smirked uncharacteristically, giving Sasuke that strange feeling in his tummy again.
"What?" Sasuke hissed in anger.
Naruto barked with laughter again, this time shorter and dripped with venom that Sasuke had never heard before from the young blonde ninja. "You're a moron, Sasuke Uchiha," Naruto grinned sadistically, "for knowing me all these years, and even suggesting I'd give up. I mean, honestly..." He shook his head and rolled out his shoulders and neck. "Honestly, aren't I the one who supposed to be telling you to give up?"
Taking a step back, Sasuke lowered his eyes. Who is this? He thought angrily. He'd known Naruto better and longer than anyone else, and he'd seen him mature and then resort back to his child-like behavior, but he'd never seen a side of Naruto that was so cold...
"Stepping back, S'ke?" Naruto tch'd and took a dangerous step forward.
"Don't call me that, dobe." Sasuke mumbled as he took another step back, but was ignored.
"You know, S'ke, I've always wondered what would put a hint of fear in those emotionless eyes of yours..." The blond pondered aloud, taking out his trusty kunai and flipping it around his finger as he closed in on Sasuke. "And I think I've finally figured it out."
Sasuke swallowed nervously, backing up against the wall shrine of a collapsed building behind him. He held onto his sword with shaking hands and his breath hitched. What's happening to me? He mentally struggled. "And what's that, Uzumaki?" He smirked on instinct, but it held none of the previous power-show it had before.
"I think," Naruto said flatly, emptying the space between Sasuke and himself, "and, stop me if I'm wrong..." he said lowly, taking his free hand to cup Sasuke's left cheek, stroking the smooth skin experimentally. Finally his eyes rose up to meet the Uchiha's scared ones. "I'm pretty sure you're afraid... of me."
Sasuke choked out a vicious laugh. "You've got to be shitting me! Afraid of you?" Sasuke shoved Naruto's stroking hand away and got up in his face. "You are nothing, Uzumaki. You're a weak, pathetic fool who's lost in his own fake ego. Why in God's name, would I ever be afraid of you?" He yelled.
And then there was a stinging pain on his left cheek, causing the Uchiha to jump back and yelp. He glared at the blond who now held a bloodied kunai with the usual dignity he carried it. Raising a hand to his cheek, the raven could feel three slashes, all horizontal and vertically aligned. His eyes widened in disbelief as his new whisker-marks began oozing fresh blood. Before the dark-haired teen could counterattack, Naruto already had his back turned and threw one last fleeting glance over his shoulder. "You're afraid of me, partially, because you're afraid of becoming like me." He stated effortlessly and then poof! He was gone in the next second, only leaving Sasuke with a hand on his cheek thinking, he didn't even ask me to come back to Konaha this time...
Naruto only had to take a single stride back into the Leaf Village before his friends surrounded him. He glanced at them all, Shikamaru, Kiba, Sakura, Ino, Choji, Hinata, Neji, Rock Lee, Tenten, and Shino. When Naruto was younger, him being nineteen now, he would have grinned like an idiot with all the attention, but now, he found he'd rather be alone.
"Hey guys," The blonde smiled weakly, rubbing his forehead.
"NARUTO, MY YOUTHFUL FRIEND!" Lee exclaimed, jumping into the air next to Naruto. "HOW WAS YOUR MISSION?" He practically vibrated with energy, making everyone sigh but laugh.
"It was fine." Naruto shrugged.
Ino whacked Lee upside the head as if it would magically calm him down. "Anything good happen? Bad?" She asked curiously. Naruto only shrugged again and looked away. Of course this caused a bit of a panic amongst his friends, especially considering the fact that he'd been acting...differently since he turned eighteen last year. Ino casted a worried glance to Shikamaru and Choji.
Choji took the hint. "Come on man, you know you can tell us anything!" He grinned cheekily and squeezed Naruto's shoulder. Naruto smiled sadly but shrugged off his big hand.
"Nah, I don't really feel like talking."
Everyone gasped. Most of the time, they couldn't get the kid to shut up! Shikamaru only sighed and mumbled, "How troublesome..." Ino then whacked him upside the head, because, hey, just because it doesn't work the first time, doesn't mean it isn't worth trying again! "You're not helping." She said and Shikamaru only grunted, bored. Then it was quietly awkward for a moment, before Sakura broke the silence, being the loud-mouth she is.
"You saw Sasuke, didn't you." She stated without any question in her voice.
"I guess." Naruto replied anyway.
Sakura growled. "You guess? Naruto Uzumaki! Why didn't you tell us sooner?" She reached over and grabbed his forearm. He merely grunted and took a step back away from everyone.
"I only need to relay my mission information to Lady Tsunade. It's none of your business."
Kiba's eyebrows furrowed together in anger. "But we're your friends, Naruto! Why won't you tell us?"
God, I am so sick of this village, Naruto thought bluntly. He then yelled, "We met, we fought, and he didn't come back! Nothing new, so just leave me alone!" before poof!-ing to the Hokage's office, leaving his friends stunned and upset. Lately, he just couldn't make anyone happy, including himself.
After giving a bored report to the Hokage, Naruto returned to his apartment to rest. He hadn't eaten in three days, but his appetite had been long gone since...well since, that day. The day that no one knew about except for Lady Tsunade, who discovered it by mere chance. Naruto rolled over on his bed and groaned quietly. Nothing felt right anymore, Naruto had noticed. He no longer held the Konaha fire that fueled his desires to become Hokage, train with new jutsus, or pig out on ramen with Master Iruka. Naruto didn't like spending time with his friends, either. They all seem concerned, but he just felt he couldn't trust any of them, the way they tried to stick their noses in his personal business. And the village didn't even know what to think of the young blonde ninja anymore. He was once their enemy, then their hero, and now he was just...normal. Going through every day with no spirit and a fake smile. It was all too difficult for anyone to understand, including Naruto.
How do I fix myself? He wondered sadly. The Jinchuriki-host thought about what made him happy, or at least made him feel. Ramen? No. Training? Hanging out with friends? No. Missions? No. Then at that point, it hit Naruto. If these things don't make me feel, then maybe I should escape from them for a bit? But how? Where would I go? He rubbed his eyes and yawned. Maybe go stay with the toads? Sage-mode always feels a little lifting... But the grub is sick, so nevermind... I need to be somewhere where I can be myself, with someone who won't make any judgements, or at least won't show it...
He shot straight up in bed, heart pounding wildly. With someone who shows no emotion, knows the real me. Someone who I've already become accustomed to their judgment. He ran his fingers through his hair nervously, already contemplating and planning ahead. Would he let me stay? Where would I find him? Do I really want this? Naruto scrunched his eyes together and let out a deep breath. He knew he couldn't handle staying in this village much longer, and he knew that he was hard to find, which meant Naruto would be hard to find too. It was hard to argue that it was neither a good or bad plan. All Naruto knew was that, for once, it felt right.
His escape out of Konaha: Sasuke.
End of Chap 1, this is my first fic, what do you guys think? reviews would be amazing thankyou! ^^