8/10/00
THE ALL NEW MARIO!
Prepare to be shocked!
By Kicka**Mario and KillerOddish
Original idea by KillerOddish
Ok, this story may be shocking and incredibly stupid. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Some of the Mario characters don't appear.
Also, I ditched the "Official Nintendo Seal of Quality" mark. Now it's "Illegal Nintendo Unorthorised Fanfic"
The year is 2002. The new Nintendo console has been released. The first Mario game shocked the world with it's violence and bad language. A company has made a series of Mario cartoons based on the new Mario. Instead of being called episodes, they were called, "MarioMovies." Between the game and the cartoon, there's no real difference. This is the first episode-THE MEETING OF MARIO!-where everyone teams up after their last adventure.
Mario gazed into the water he was fishing in. "GODDAMN YOU STUPID FUCKING FISH! TAKE THE FUCKING BAIT, SHITBAGS!" he yelled.
Meanwhile, in another part of the Mushroom Kingdom, Toad and Yoshi lived in the back of a car. They were toasting some marshmallows. "Ok Toad, get the marshmallows off the fire!" said Yoshi. "YAAAY!" said Toad. (He's still an idiot) "I'll just flavour it a bit..." Toad took out a bottle and poured it over the marshmallow. "NO TOAD! THAT'S..." yelled Yoshi.
WOOOOOOM!
Toad stood there, consumed in flames. "THAT'S PARAFIN, YOU ASSHOLE!" yelled Yoshi.
Mario decided to stop fishing and go home. It was then he remembered that he'd dumped a tank full of nuclear waste in that river a year ago. His fishing rod started glowing green. "Better get home," he said. On the way home, Toad ran past him, still on fire, and jumped into the river. "Uh, Mario, why am I glowing green? And am I going down into the water?" asked Toad. "Toad, that's nuclear water, and you're sinking." After half an hour, Mario managed to drag Toad out of the water. "God Toad, you fat g*t! You're dead ****ing heavy. "Uh-oh, where's Yoshi? Wait! I know my way back!" Actually, Toad had forgotten. It was a further two hours before they found Yoshi again. "Yoshi? Toad? I didn't know you lived in this hellhole!" "Hey, I couldn't get a job," said Yoshi. How's it going with Peach? "THAT ***** TWO-TIMED ME!" said Mario. "Hey, it's pretty lonely where I live. Wanna live with me?" "Sure!" said Yoshi. "YAAAY!" said Toad, and instantly ran into a tree.
Meanwhile, at a local burger bar, Peach and her stupid kangaroo slave, Kanga, served their customers. Peach still had her castle, but she needed the bar to keep it. Suddenly, a furby and a furby baby came in. "Hi, we'd like a burger and fries please!" said the furby. "Mace! Mace Mace!" said the baby Furby. "Shut up Mace, you're not getting any!" said furby. "Remember last time I fed you? You forgot how to eat!" Peach served up the burger. "That'll be $22.99!" she said. "WHAT!?" yelled furby, and pulled out a huge gun. "Or..." said Peach. "You could join Team Peachy" "What do I have to do?" said Furby. "Just kill Mario!" said Peach. "Cool! I hate Mario!" said Furby. "Excellent..." said Peach.
Back at Mansion de Mario, Mario took Toad and Yoshi on a tour. "And here's the bathroom," said Mario. "Cool!" said Toad. "Hey, what does that say?" said Toad, pointing to a machine that said "Condom dispenser" "Uhhh...that says...Balloon dispenser, Ok?" said Mario. "Hey Mario, what happened to Luigi?" asked Yoshi. Mario took Yoshi several yards away from Toad, then whispered in his ear. "Ok, so Luigi was decreasing your popularity, and..." said Yoshi. Mario whispered some more. "YOU MADE HIM SUFFOCATE BY SHOVING A "BALLOON" OVER HIS HEAD!?" yelled Yoshi. Mario whispered again. "Right, so then you brought his body to Bowser, and...FED IT TO HIM!?" said Yoshi. Mario whispered once more. "But you poisoned the body first, so...Bowser's dead!?" said Yoshi. "And you sold your old castle to Wario? Why? What was wrong with it?" "No central heating," said Mario. "Or a "balloon" machine. Hey, let's eat out at a burger bar!" "Great!" said Yoshi. "We'll fly there. I've got a wing cap, you can flutter jump," said Mario. "By the way, you're carrying Toad!"
Back at the burger bar, Team Peachy had installed a missile launcher aimed for Mansion de Mario. "Now we can destroy Mario!" said Peach. "I'm an expert at aiming missiles!" said Furby. "Boingky! Boingky!" said Kanga. "Mace! Mace Mace Mace!" said Mace.
Up in the air, above the bar, Yoshi was struggling to carry Toad. "Mario," he said. "I can't..."
"Ready..." said Peach
"..hold..."
"Aim..."
"on!"
Yoshi dropped Toad. He landed on the burger bar and completely destroyed it. "Won't Toad die?" said Mario. "Nah, his Mushroom broke his fall," replied Yoshi.
"Looks like Team Peachy's been squished again!" said Peach. "AW, SHUT UP!" said Furby.
THE END!
Playing Peach was-A SLUT!
Playing Furby was-SEAN CONNERY!
Playing Kanga was-SOMETHING FROM ANOTHER WORLD!
Playing Mace was-A SOCCER BALL!
Playing Yoshi was-YOSHI!
Playing Toad was-A PARSNIP!
Playing Mario was-WARIO!
Note:All my Mario stories will be like this. You'll might find that they might not stick to the Mario games that much, this was just a crazy idea we had so we didn't stick to the rules much. The MarioMovies were originally thought up by a friend of mine (who doesn't have internet connection, so I just called him KillerOddish for fun. He likes Oddish, you see).
THE ALL NEW MARIO!
Prepare to be shocked!
By Kicka**Mario and KillerOddish
Original idea by KillerOddish
Ok, this story may be shocking and incredibly stupid. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Some of the Mario characters don't appear.
Also, I ditched the "Official Nintendo Seal of Quality" mark. Now it's "Illegal Nintendo Unorthorised Fanfic"
The year is 2002. The new Nintendo console has been released. The first Mario game shocked the world with it's violence and bad language. A company has made a series of Mario cartoons based on the new Mario. Instead of being called episodes, they were called, "MarioMovies." Between the game and the cartoon, there's no real difference. This is the first episode-THE MEETING OF MARIO!-where everyone teams up after their last adventure.
Mario gazed into the water he was fishing in. "GODDAMN YOU STUPID FUCKING FISH! TAKE THE FUCKING BAIT, SHITBAGS!" he yelled.
Meanwhile, in another part of the Mushroom Kingdom, Toad and Yoshi lived in the back of a car. They were toasting some marshmallows. "Ok Toad, get the marshmallows off the fire!" said Yoshi. "YAAAY!" said Toad. (He's still an idiot) "I'll just flavour it a bit..." Toad took out a bottle and poured it over the marshmallow. "NO TOAD! THAT'S..." yelled Yoshi.
WOOOOOOM!
Toad stood there, consumed in flames. "THAT'S PARAFIN, YOU ASSHOLE!" yelled Yoshi.
Mario decided to stop fishing and go home. It was then he remembered that he'd dumped a tank full of nuclear waste in that river a year ago. His fishing rod started glowing green. "Better get home," he said. On the way home, Toad ran past him, still on fire, and jumped into the river. "Uh, Mario, why am I glowing green? And am I going down into the water?" asked Toad. "Toad, that's nuclear water, and you're sinking." After half an hour, Mario managed to drag Toad out of the water. "God Toad, you fat g*t! You're dead ****ing heavy. "Uh-oh, where's Yoshi? Wait! I know my way back!" Actually, Toad had forgotten. It was a further two hours before they found Yoshi again. "Yoshi? Toad? I didn't know you lived in this hellhole!" "Hey, I couldn't get a job," said Yoshi. How's it going with Peach? "THAT ***** TWO-TIMED ME!" said Mario. "Hey, it's pretty lonely where I live. Wanna live with me?" "Sure!" said Yoshi. "YAAAY!" said Toad, and instantly ran into a tree.
Meanwhile, at a local burger bar, Peach and her stupid kangaroo slave, Kanga, served their customers. Peach still had her castle, but she needed the bar to keep it. Suddenly, a furby and a furby baby came in. "Hi, we'd like a burger and fries please!" said the furby. "Mace! Mace Mace!" said the baby Furby. "Shut up Mace, you're not getting any!" said furby. "Remember last time I fed you? You forgot how to eat!" Peach served up the burger. "That'll be $22.99!" she said. "WHAT!?" yelled furby, and pulled out a huge gun. "Or..." said Peach. "You could join Team Peachy" "What do I have to do?" said Furby. "Just kill Mario!" said Peach. "Cool! I hate Mario!" said Furby. "Excellent..." said Peach.
Back at Mansion de Mario, Mario took Toad and Yoshi on a tour. "And here's the bathroom," said Mario. "Cool!" said Toad. "Hey, what does that say?" said Toad, pointing to a machine that said "Condom dispenser" "Uhhh...that says...Balloon dispenser, Ok?" said Mario. "Hey Mario, what happened to Luigi?" asked Yoshi. Mario took Yoshi several yards away from Toad, then whispered in his ear. "Ok, so Luigi was decreasing your popularity, and..." said Yoshi. Mario whispered some more. "YOU MADE HIM SUFFOCATE BY SHOVING A "BALLOON" OVER HIS HEAD!?" yelled Yoshi. Mario whispered again. "Right, so then you brought his body to Bowser, and...FED IT TO HIM!?" said Yoshi. Mario whispered once more. "But you poisoned the body first, so...Bowser's dead!?" said Yoshi. "And you sold your old castle to Wario? Why? What was wrong with it?" "No central heating," said Mario. "Or a "balloon" machine. Hey, let's eat out at a burger bar!" "Great!" said Yoshi. "We'll fly there. I've got a wing cap, you can flutter jump," said Mario. "By the way, you're carrying Toad!"
Back at the burger bar, Team Peachy had installed a missile launcher aimed for Mansion de Mario. "Now we can destroy Mario!" said Peach. "I'm an expert at aiming missiles!" said Furby. "Boingky! Boingky!" said Kanga. "Mace! Mace Mace Mace!" said Mace.
Up in the air, above the bar, Yoshi was struggling to carry Toad. "Mario," he said. "I can't..."
"Ready..." said Peach
"..hold..."
"Aim..."
"on!"
Yoshi dropped Toad. He landed on the burger bar and completely destroyed it. "Won't Toad die?" said Mario. "Nah, his Mushroom broke his fall," replied Yoshi.
"Looks like Team Peachy's been squished again!" said Peach. "AW, SHUT UP!" said Furby.
THE END!
Playing Peach was-A SLUT!
Playing Furby was-SEAN CONNERY!
Playing Kanga was-SOMETHING FROM ANOTHER WORLD!
Playing Mace was-A SOCCER BALL!
Playing Yoshi was-YOSHI!
Playing Toad was-A PARSNIP!
Playing Mario was-WARIO!
Note:All my Mario stories will be like this. You'll might find that they might not stick to the Mario games that much, this was just a crazy idea we had so we didn't stick to the rules much. The MarioMovies were originally thought up by a friend of mine (who doesn't have internet connection, so I just called him KillerOddish for fun. He likes Oddish, you see).