Ok, so here I am again. I am sorry for disappearing for a long time. College and family have been a major distraction. I am really, really sorry.

Nevertheless, I have returned. This time however, I have a better, more structured and thrilling story. It has been made with the purpose to fill those empty years of absence.

If anything, I must say that I made this because I kept thinking of a reviewer name youdon'tcarewho. The reviewer's comment had hit me hard and made me want to start over again. I wanted to give you a story worthy of you. After all, an audience is the most important part of a writer. Therefore, this is all for you. Especially youdon'tcarewho. Thanks for being there dude/dudette. Hope you like it.

Last but not least, enjoy the story! If you want to make a comment, either good or bad, write a review! I don't mind what comes in, if it's a praise or an insult, 'cause each review is a tool to help me write better (all within reason of course).

Enjoy and have fun! If anything, write a review or PM me. I'll be glad to answer.

Anaklusmosj

Disclaimer: I don't own pokémon, the regions or the character used in the fanfiction. Everything belongs to Nintendo. XD

(Jackie's POV)

I saw her on the edge again. This time I was not a spectator of what was happening. I was re-experiencing the moment for the first time in two months. Ever since her death, that night haunted me in my dreams constantly. Like a reminder that she was dead and there was nothing I could do to bring her back. I thought it ended two months ago, but I was wrong. Her death was still fresh, burning a scar in my mind.

And so I laid there, holding her hand, crying, not letting her go. My voice wasn't working and my arm was getting numb. Her eyes, those beautiful brown eyes, were full of pain and love. She offered a smile, but she was tearing up. I knew she wasn't going to last. I cried to her, my eyes full of tears, yet without my voice it was like doing nothing. On the other hand, her voice did work.

And it was as clear as day. Killing me again. Breaking my heart again. Tearing my soul again.

"Let me go, Jack. You can't pull me up."

I shook my head furiously. I wasn't gonna lose her again. Not again.

"I'm sorry. But you have to let go."

I shook my head once more. She was my everything. I wasn't going to lose her like this.

Then I looked at her eyes again. Her face was wearing a very familiar expression. Not regret, sadness or fear. No, it was determination. It was bravery. It was the face she used for doing something either really brave or really stupid.

She went for really brave.

She let go.

My voice worked again.

"Saaaaaaarraaaaaaa!"

...

I opened my eyes slowly, my skin cold and trembling. Four heads loomed over me. Two were human, the other two pokémon. A Plusle and a Squirtle specifically. After a few seconds, I recognized the two human heads.

"Solana. Miguel." I sat up but immediately felt dizzy.

"Careful dude." Said Miguel in his deep voice. "I don't know how you ended on the floor, but you have a nasty bump on your head."

"What happened?"

"You were having a nightmare." Solana explained, lying me down again. "We tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't wake to anything."

"That is," said Miguel, pointing to the pokémon "until those two decided to intervene."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Man, everything hurt. My head, my chest, my heart... specially my heart. Dealing with her death had been hard enough, but having that constant reminder was just too much for me. Two months had passed and I couldn't forget her. However, there wasn't an explanation for it, except that perhaps my heart rejects the fact that she is gone. Which would be whole new level of cruelty.

Another deep breath. My life sucks.

"Jackie, are you ok?" Asked Solana.

I smiled, trying to ease her worry. She was a pretty young woman, with teal-blue hair and sky blue eyes. She was kind, but don't let that fool you. Underneath that gentle and pretty face hides a good dose of leadership and bravery mixed with a clear and very sharp mind. She was good with both children and pokémon, which makes her a perfect example of what a ranger should be. Me? I'm good with pokémon. Children... Not so much.

"I'm fine. Just a little shaken." I opened my eyes and found her smiling. Mission accomplished.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Absolutely sure?"

"Yes, mom."

She nodded, looking a little irritated.

"He's good alright. Once he starts messing around, you can tell he's perfectly fine." stated Miguel, smiling.

Solana glared at him while both of us laughed. Miguel was my best friend since we entered the Ranger Academy four years ago. With his strong arms, big hands and coffee brown skin, he looked like a Machamp that got a tan on the beach. Graduated in mechanics, he would fix anything, from a car to a styler. Every once in while he fixed something quite out of the ordinary like plants, pokémon or even me. But that's another story.

I sat up carefully, yet the dizziness came back quickly. Both of my friends held me in place, their faces full of worry.

"You should rest Jackie. You don't look so well." Said Solana.

"Nah. I'm fine. Can you help me up?"

They exchanged looks, then Miguel took my arm. "Sure. C'mere."

With his help, I got up. The dizziness strikes again, this time with my head throbbing.

"Careful. Don't fall." I felt Solana's hands against my back. Warm and soft, just like hers were one day.

"I won't. Now, I'm hungry. Get me to the kitchen."

"He might not be ok physically, but his mind is as irritating as ever."

"Idiot." Both of them laughed. I couldn't help but join them.

A few minutes later, the three of us entered the rangers lounge. It was a big room with white walls, a kitchen, a fridge and a few tables here and there. A couple of sofas outlined a corner, with a small bookshelf next to them. For some reason, the place was empty. I glanced at the clock. 12:30. 12:30...

"Twelve thirty! How in blazes it's twelve thirty already!"

"Dude, calm down. We let you sleep that long."

I turned my head and saw Max walking to us. He's twenty-two, like me, but he looks older. He has deep blue eyes that look as if they've lived a life before being placed on him. With his white skin and black hair, he looks like a movie star. Many girls are after him, yet he rejects them all. In his opinion, the perfect woman would come when she needs to come. Meanwhile, he spends the time with me, messing around and doing dangerous missions.

"We let you sleep" he continued "because we knew you didn't get some rest last night. With the ship on fire, the explosions and whatnot, we figured you needed to rest for a good while."

"Still, 'till twelve sounds extreme."

"Says so the guy who throws himself to do dangerous missions no one else wants?" Teased Solana.

I glared at her. She simply shrugged and smiled, while the two boys snickered.

"Take me to the table. I'm still hungry."

"Good thing you've got your priorities straight."

"Shut up Max!"

He laughed, then went to pull a seat in the table in front of me. Miguel set me there, then Solana went to the fridge. She took out a few things and made me a simple ham and cheese sandwich. She gave them to me with a cup of milk and I started to eat. Five minutes later, I was happy and full leaned back in my seat.

"Amazing how you inhaled that."

"See Solana? He's more than alright."

"Miguel is right. This dude is fine."

"Why thank you. And Solana, the sandwich was great."

She laughed, then stood up. "Well I'm off. See ya later boys."

"See ya" we said in unison.

I stood up and took my dishes to the sink. Fortunately, the dizziness left. The only thing left was the throb in my head.

"I see you can stand without help." Max observed.

"Yeah, but my head hurts."

"There's pain killers on the basket near the fridge."

"Thanks."

"So tell me," Miguel started "who were you talking to?"

"What do you mean?" I frowned, confused.

"You were saying 'No, please don't let go. Stay. I can pull us up.' Who were you talking to?"

"Nothing." I looked away, trying to evade the conversation.

Now he frowned. "Jackie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just don't want to talk about it." I said, turning so he couldn't see me tear up. Bad enough I had that damn nightmare. Now this...

"Jackie, please tell-" I felt his hands on my shoulders but I smacked them away.

"Just shut up already!" I yelled, tears flowing out. "I said I'm fine. Now leave me alone."

"Jackie, please!"

"Shut up! Leave alone!"

"Jackie calm down." Said Max, getting closer slowly. "Breathe. Don't wanna talk? That's fine. Totally fine. Just calm down."

I glared at him. It was difficult to see him with my eyes full of tears. He seemed willing to help, but I didn't want help. What I'm going through has no way out. No one knows, so no one can help me. Help me deal with the grief. The grief of losing her. Of losing...

I shook my head violently, trying to dissipate my thoughts. I can't think of her name, cause then I'll be invoking her image, her body, her voice her smell... Snap out of it!

"Jackie?"

I looked up and saw Solana with two more girls. One was Rithimy, a blonde with great assistant skills, ready for anything. The other one was unknown to me. She had brown hair in two pigtails, blue eyes and a shy smile. She must be a new ranger.

I wiped my eyes carefully and walked to the exit. My heart was torn again, but well, that's the price for privacy, isn't it? I didn't let anyone know about her and thus no one understands me. But am I to take blame? I didn't trust them. They're my friends yes, but I always had a feeling that one day, one of them would stab my back.

"Jackie?"

"Yeah Solana?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You sure?"

I looked back, sure enough it was her. The girl I loved. The girl I lost. Yet when I turned, it was only Solana, worried as usual, looking pained even. I nodded slowly.

"I'm sure."

Then I went to my room, looking around to clear my mind as well as to see that no one was following me. My hand opened the door and suddenly I was in the ship. Entering the room, my bed wasn't there. Instead, there was a queen-sized bed with white sheets neatly made. On top of it laid a young woman. She was reading a book, an Eevee sleeping right next to her. She looked up and smiled.

"Hello Jack."

I blinked hard. The image faded, leaving me even worse than before. I closed the door behind me and plopped into bed.

For the millionth time, I wished she was here with me. And for the millionth time, I was still alone.

I sank my face in my pillow and started to cry. I didn't care what they thought of me. Or if they saw me nor if they heard me. It hurt too much. I couldn't keep up. I had to let it out.

"Sara... Sara... Why did you had to leave me? Why did you let go?"