A/N: Hello, everyone! I know it's been years since I last posted. I'm trying to get back to my writing. Let's see how it goes.
It was the night of the party. My hair was a mess and I needed to do what I could to fix it but it still won't obey. My sister was done with hers and now it was my turn. I wasn't as beautiful as her with her darker complexion—something she got from our father. I had the complexion of my mother—pale and too white. Maybe if I had gotten my father's black hair, I would be beautiful, too.
Dad always assured me that I was beautiful in my own way. He always insisted that one of the things he loved about my late mother was that she was light skinned—her features were a lot different than his. Charlie Swan was of Quileute descent while Renee Swan was a various mixture of European origin.
I always wished I was a lot like my younger sister—fun, artistic, and adventurous. And yet, here I was always afraid to take a step.
I had finished putting on my dark blue dress—something that Alice bought for me at the thrift store and added beads into it to make it stand out. Leave it to my sister to find clothing anywhere and then transform it into something beautiful. I just don't know how to carry a dress.
"Bella, you're not ready yet? Come on! We don't have much time. Sit," she commanded me.
I did as I was told. I was not gifted in the realm of cosmetics and creativity like her. I let her twirl my hair and put makeup on me. She knew me well enough to know what I wanted.
"You know, Jacob was going to faint if he sees you like this," she said as she tried to do my hair.
I smiled. Alice didn't know that my boyfriend of ten years couldn't care less. He told me that his feelings for me had long been gone. Yet, I was a hopeless fool, wishing that he'll fall in love with me again. I don't tell my loved ones how often he criticize me. How he tried to get me to learn how to be more domestic as we plan on getting married.
Needless to say, we have a plan. And yet, I don't know if I can tell people about the plan about getting married. He might change his mind yet again.
"You think so?" I asked.
"I know so. He's crazy about you," Alice repeated what she said.
How I wish that was true.
When she was finished, she handed me my handbag and we went to the school auditorium where the party was held. Jacob was supposed to meet me there. I didn't know if he didn't want to come with me because he didn't want to be seen by me or if he wanted to flirt with other women before I arrive.
Still, when I got there, I actually saw my best friend, Edward. I quickly went up to him and gave him a hug.
"Where's Tanya?" I whispered.
He pointed out to the direction of my boyfriend where they were too busy talking to each other to notice both of us.
Edward knew everything about Jacob. I didn't hold back on anything about my boyfriend. If I can't tell Edward everything, then I'll be a lot more stressed than I was.
I didn't like Tanya being with Jacob at all. Still, should I make a scene and disturb the peace?
"So, is Operation Wedding still on?" he joked. That's what he called my cooking, cleaning, and budgeting tasks—Jacob's condition for us to be married.
"Yes." I'm glad Edward didn't make a lot of comment. I knew he disapproved of Jacob but he held his tongue because he knew that I would defend Jacob. Jacob was my man and I wanted to do what was right by him—even if he doesn't do it by me.
"Let's dance." Edward grabbed my hand and led us toward the dance floor.
I'm always comfortable with Edward. There was a time when I used to think that he could be my boyfriend—that was during one of those times when Jacob and I were on one of our "breaks"—but it didn't work out. Still, I'm actually glad to have him as a friend. He's the last person who would make me cry.
Edward and I danced. I knew he was trying to distract me from my problems—the one that was flirting with his soon-to-be ex. Jacob and I were each other's first loves but we have some breaks and some breaks-but-not-completely-breaks in between. He had been with other women in the past but he had been the only man for me even now.
"Remember what I told you. Don't do things that you're not sure about," he said.
"I know. Thank you." I'm glad that I have someone like him in my life.
Alice was with Edward's best friend, Jasper. They seemed to hit it off. I'm actually glad about that. Jasper was a good man.
Meanwhile, the twins, Emmett and Rosalie just arrived. They were the ones that organized this reunion and I have to say that they did a good job.
"So, Rosalie is pregnant again?" I asked. This would be her fifth pregnancy. It usually ended in a miscarriage. Poor thing. She was one of the kindest woman I have ever seen.
"Yes. Royce wanted to adopt though. He doesn't like that Rosalie is putting herself in a lot of sorrow." Edward knew Rosalie's husband through work. They were actually quite close.
"Thank you for doing this for me."
"No problem. Let's get out of here." He grabbed my hand and we got to his car—a silver Volvo.
Edward was not perfect but he was a good man. I saw Jacob get out of the party with Tanya. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend won't cheat on me. He's just friendly with women.
"Where do you want to eat?" He asked.
"Anywhere with chocolate." Not eating enough is not my problem. Eating too much is.
He brought me to my favorite pastry shop.
"Jacob wants us to invest on flip flopping houses for his dad. I'm hesitant about it because of the market." I said.
Edward nodded as he ate his chocolate cake. "Well, what did he say?"
"That I shouldn't have an opinion in that matter." I took a bite on my cheesecake.
The truth was, I had a lot of things to say in that matter. I graduated as a business major and I worked at an accounting firm. I had seen some startup companies fail despite having enthusiastic owners. If my future father-in-law is not careful, that's likely what could happen. Starting your business with a loan only works when your clients pay. In the event that they don't, you'll be faced with a burden of actually paying the loan yourself. He didn't have enough capital to shoulder that in case that happens.
The burden falls on me. I'll be standing in as a guarantor for him as soon as I'm married to his son.
"I know how we can lose money on that business." As a business major, we were trained to know the strength and weakness of a particular business and what opportunities and threats we could face because of it.
"Does Jacob even know that?"
I shook my head. "I'm pretty sure he's not going to listen."
In that moment, it hit me. I don't know whether or not I should stay with Jacob but I have to let him go.
"Edward, thank you for listening to me. I'm pretty sure you'll tell me that I need to break up with Jacob but thanks for not forcing me to do it."
"Well, yes. Your relationship with Jacob is very toxic." The fact that I couldn't tell almost everyone close to me was a big clue.
A week after the party, I decided to break up with Jacob. I came into his house to find him eating with Tanya and another friend.
"Jacob, can we talk alone?" I asked.
"I'm tired of this. You told me you're not as in love with me as I am in love with you. Did it even occur to you that when I took you back, I was in love with someone else? I chose you over him. I chose to forget him for you." I didn't tell him I was talking about Edward.
I continued, "Then, you keep on treating me like this. You don't treat me with kindness. I just do whatever you asked and I can't even get an opinion regarding your dad. We both know that we're going to support your dad with his business venture and I can't even say my opinion?
"And this? You chose to spend time with your friends rather than with your girlfriend. I wanted spend time with you but you chose their companies instead. I was willing to drive to Seattle with you and you make excuses as to why it's not possible and then you do this? I'm tired."
Jacob was quiet for a minute. Then he said, "would you like for us to break up while you get things out of your system? You can go do someone else then we can get back together. I'm sorry I tire you."
I bit my lip and did my best to control my anger. "You're asking me to take advantage of some poor man. You know that's not how I was raised." I left without even coming up with a decision.
The next day, I met Edward at the gym. We were sparring in the ring. Edward was a black belt in several martial arts. He usually goes easy on me by dodging my punches and kicks. But don't let him fool you. That one time he side stepped my attack and elbowed me on my chest, I doubled over in pain.
"Jacob told me I could go out with anyone and get things out of my system." I said as soon as we took our minute break.
"Bella, you're good and you're a godly woman. You deserve better than that. You deserve someone who's going to cherish you and be good to you."
I got ready for another round of sparring. "Yes, but if I do that, I might find myself in another toxic relationship. You know how I am. It's going to take me a long time to get stuck again." I started punching and Edward started blocking. He was a very tough opponent.
"Don't think that. Just pray about it and don't look for him. Go on a vacation or something."
That statement just made me laugh. Edward had a good sense of humor.
"You know, that's what he did before." Jacob did it with me.
"It's not good that he's suggesting it," Edward concluded.
That's when I used my phone to tell Jacob what I want. I texted him.
Jacob, do you know what you're asking me? You're asking me to do something to someone that you did to me all those years ago. You know I wasn't raised to take advantage of anyone. I have friends and family who love me. I don't know what they'll say to you the moment they found out how you're treating me. I'm good and godly. To suggest what you're telling me meant that you didn't have a well formed conscience. I didn't know if you realize that.
A few days after that, I was at the gym sparring with Edward again. "Thanks, Edward for helping me. It's hard to get over that but I'm trying."
"How long had you known Jacob again?"
"Well, we had known each other since middle school. Hopefully, my next boyfriend would be a lot better."
"You bet."
I'm not quite sure how to handle Jacob. He's not completely gone but I know that I can ask advice from Edward on how to make sure that I don't go back to Jacob.
End notes: What do you think?