i.
sometimes, when she closes her eyes, she thinks she can remember her first few moments in panem. her first blurry glimpse of the world. the dismal, grey room. the red-stained sheets on the grimy, white bed. the sounds of talking, and the steady downpour of rain, and the tall woman who pulled her away from her mother, because bonding is weakness and weakness is failure and failure is banned and—
—and then she opens her eyes again because really, she doesn't want to remember that at all.