AN: In honour of Always. This is just my interpretation of what's inside Kate's head. It is written slightly different to the norm, anything in italics is running through her mind.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Andrew Marlowe and ABC.

I am also going to shamefully plug my other story. Castle: The Date, is now complete. Since it is complete it no longer gets updated therefore less new readers. I only mention it as it has had amazing reviews for other chapters but the final chapter hasn't had one. Anyway I hope the lovely Caskett readers enjoy this.

Please...

Please.

It was one word that meant so little, and meant everything all at the same time. It was a word that had flashed through Kate's mind so many times over the past few day that it was beginning to lose its meaning, beginning to lose any special power the weight of the word might bring with it. She wondered how many more times she could call it forth before whoever it was that decides her fate chose to tell her no.

She began using it when Castle came to her apartment to come clean about the secret he had kept from her.

"Are you a part of this?" Kate whispered to him, when he told her of his betrayal.

"I was just trying to keep you safe."

As she walked away from him, she whispered over and over to herself to just keep it together. Keep it together long enough to get through the conversation. She would break down once he had left. When she started yelling at him, demanding to know how he could betray her, and he broke, and the tears that were catching in his throat. She could hear them in his voice, when he told her he loves her, and if she felt anything for him she would stop…she kept whispering please…please make it stop. She was hurting…..she had trusted Montgomery and he had betrayed her, she trusted Castle, loved him, and he had joined in. The only way to make it all stop was to take down her shooter. Please…..Rick don't stand in my way.

Please.

Please let me catch my shot here. She thought as she chased the sniper up the staircase. Please….let me land my punch. This kick. Please let me land something.

Please. "Just tell me who's behind this?" She pleaded with the cold-blooded killer that she fought with on the roof.

Please…let me pull myself up. She thought as she clung to the ledge by her fingertips.

Please…..let me get a footing on the windowsills.

Please…let me hang on long enough that someone hears.

Please…let Castle know that I love him.

Please…let Castle know that I forgive him. No-one was coming to save her.

Please…let Castle find the happiness that he couldn't with me. She was only hanging on with one arm now.

"Beckett?" She could hear a voice, was it Castles?

Please…..let it be Castle.

Please…let them hear my voice, please let them save me.

As she sat on the swing set during the torrential downpour that same word flashed through her mind again. Please. Please let him forgive me.

She walked through the lobby of his building, pulling out her cell as she crossed the tiles.

When she pressed his speed-dial she whispered please pick up Castle…please.

When he didn't answer she made her way to the door of his apartment and knocked. Please….please Rick, don't slam the door in my face.

"Beckett what do you want?" His tone was cold. Distancing himself from me emotionally as much as he could. She knew then that this was the time to fight for what she believed in, not fighting for her life on a rooftop.

"You." Please…She moved towards him. He stepped back, but she followed. Kate grabbed him and did what she'd been longing to do. She kissed him. Then stopped, leaving a hand lingering on his cheek, letting him register what had just happened. He had been rigid, and still guarded. His mouth was wide open in shock, he didn't know what to do or say so Kate took over.

"I'm so sorry Castle. I'm so sorry." She whispered to him, her face still inches away from his. She clung to him, afraid that if she loosened her hold she would lose him forever. "I'm so sorry." Kate tried to kiss him again. Make him see how she felt. She kissed his lips once more but he moved his lips to the side so that she connected with his cheek instead. He pushed her away with one arm, but his lips still kissed the skin on her cheek as he broke them apart. He wanted it, but he didn't. He couldn't without being sure.

'What happened?"

Kate knew it was now or never. If she didn't do this now Kate knew she wouldn't get another chance. Please…let him believe me. Please…..no more fighting.

"He got away, and I didn't care. I almost died, and all I could think about was you." She paused. "I just want you." Kate leant in again, trying to secure her words, trying to secure everything with another kiss. Her face lingered before his lips, she wanted him to close the space and kiss her back, then she would be sure everything was going to be fine.

What was he waiting for? Oh god…..he's not going to kiss me, he doesn't want this….oh god…..please…..please…..please….please.

Kate's mind was in frenzy now but her frantic pleas were silenced when Rick pinned her against the door and kissed her with a hunger no man had shown before.

Please.…she whispered as he kissed down her neck.

Please…..she whispered clinging to him, fingers raking the muscles in his back.

Please…..she whispered as he unbuttoned her shirt and saw the scar on her chest.

Please…she whispered as he put his fingers to the burnt skin, but kept kissing Kate as he did so, reassuring her of just how beautiful she is.

Once Kate had led him to his bedroom she began to whisper the very word she had become so dependent on out loud, as he set her on fire with every touch of his lips.

"Please…." She whispered. "Please Rick…" as she begged him to complete her.

Once it was over Kate still clung to him…..afraid that this was all somehow not real. Had she fallen from that building, had she died? Was this heaven?

She lay on top of his naked body, and when he picked her up, placing her gently on the bed beside him, Kate's fingers involuntarily tightened around his arm. He noticed this time.

"Hey…..hey, Kate, what is it what's wrong?"

"Please…." It was all she could manage.

"What is it?" He propped himself up on one elbow leaning over her.

"Don't leave."

"Kate….I'm not going anywhere. This is it now, you and me."

"You still love me, even after how I treated you?"

Please….

"You didn't get that the first dozen times I whispered it while taking in every inch of your naked body?"

Kate cracked a smile. "So poetic." She had been lost in her own thoughts.

"Do you think I could stop loving you, Katherine Beckett? Hell knows I've tried over the last twenty-four hours." He smiled at her with pure adoration.

"Why would I leave?" He asked her gently.

"I've done something...you might have to resurrect Derrick Storm after all. I've resigned from the force."

"Well that makes me admire you all the more, its not going to make me walk. I have enough material to write Nikki Heat I don't have to be at the 12th. Hey, maybe I could write a crossover novel between Storm and Heat. Just imagine..." He was grinning from ear to ear.

She smiled back at him just as wide. "I forgive you Castle…..about the case, everything."

"And I forgive you. It's in the past now."

"Rick…" she wanted to say I love you, she wanted to say it back but she wasn't quite ready. Almost, but not quite there yet. "Thank you, for being here." He was right here in front of her, how he had been for the past four years.

"Always Kate. Always." He ran his hand lightly over her skin, tracing the lines of her hipbone. "Now….please let me show you…" He kissed her long and lingering. "…just how much…" he moved lower. "…I want to stay here with you…."

Their first time was slow and intimate. It was perfect, but this time would be frantic and exciting and as Rick's lips closed over Kate's pelvis she gasped. "Castle…I don't have a safe word….." She giggled.

"You can use mine, remember? It's apples."