I've read a few stroies in my time, I'm not bragging, I'm just cool. And if I've learnt anything
from them at all, it's that all good stories should start with a disclaimer. So, here goes.
Do not read this story if:
*You actually LIKE Britney Spears *gag*
*You think that "good triumping over evil with as little violence as possible" is a good moral.
*You want to *insert gasping animal noises* with Craig Wing (He's mine, BITCH!)
* And, finally, DO NOT read this story if u are a teenybopper dyke who collectes Mandy Moore,
Christina Aguilira or Britney Spears memoribilia. Your'e only going to give urself a nasty little
shock.
So, anyways, here's my story. And if you don't like it, then uhhh, you can, uhhh go play with
your Britney Spears Barbie doll. You know, the one with the big nose? *snicker* *cough* ahem.
Anyways, thats off the topic. My story starts in a magical setting. A sweaty, muscly setting *drool*
Yes, a football field.
The team was in turmoil. They were sweating nervously, (it gets even better) consoling each other,
each hot, sweaty guy giving the next even hotter, even sweatier guy a back massage to relax (see?), but
to no avail. Craig Wing....was missing.
Only one person could save him. That one person...was me. As much as I hated to leave the hot
sweaty atmosphere, i knew...it was my job to bring him back...and like have sex with him and stuff.
So, off I went...I knew where he would be. I was right. There was only one group of no good sluts
that would actually NEED to steal someone to get jiggy. Mandy Moore, Christina Aguilira and their
evil ringmaster, Britney Spears. As I shoved open the door of their lair, (the bathroom at Starbucks)
I felt an overwhelming presence. A suffocating presence. A smell of plastic, a whiff of cheap
imposter perfume. It was Britney. And her two evil pets, Lefty and Righty, the two most evil breasts
in the world.
I pulled out my tit-popping stick and plunged it into her chest. As Britney fell to the floor screaming
"what a world what a world", i ducked to avoid the stream of sillicon. Mandy wasnt so lucky. The
poisonous liquid struck her in the face, marring her 12 year old features.
She began to squeal piercingly, "you told me they were real! oh so real! Oh, the way that theyre
making me feel!!!" she then fell to the ground, her face in Britneys crutch.
After giggling at that amusing spectacle for a few minutes, and taking some polaroids for the
tabloids, i turned to face Christina Aquilira, who was standing in front of Craig Wing, tied up
in a chair, lipstick marks all over his face. One look at his handsome features, and i got mad.
"How dare you!!!!! you..you..hussy!" I spat out. "You got whore-red lipstick on his face! Excuse
me while I get medievil on your ass!!!"
I pulled out my weapons, one by one. My whip was first. When I saw her face light up I knew that
was'nt going to work. I needed a weapon that wpuld shock her, stun her. I grinned as i pulled out my
wallet and revealed a pink condom *classy*. Her jaw dropped open in shock
"wha-whass that????" I opened my mouth and blew. *kinkkkyyy* Luckily i had brought my extra-large
one, or else my cunning plan would have failed. When it had reached a metre in diameter, i lunged
forward and put it over her head, and watched her suffocate. Giggling madly, i untied Craig Wing,
his arms all sweaty *drool*
"Oh no," he yelled. "i have to get to the footy!" I dropped my clothes to floor and giggled.
"Dont worry...I'll play with your balls" I whispered. He never made it to the game.
Come on, use ur imagination dudes!
from them at all, it's that all good stories should start with a disclaimer. So, here goes.
Do not read this story if:
*You actually LIKE Britney Spears *gag*
*You think that "good triumping over evil with as little violence as possible" is a good moral.
*You want to *insert gasping animal noises* with Craig Wing (He's mine, BITCH!)
* And, finally, DO NOT read this story if u are a teenybopper dyke who collectes Mandy Moore,
Christina Aguilira or Britney Spears memoribilia. Your'e only going to give urself a nasty little
shock.
So, anyways, here's my story. And if you don't like it, then uhhh, you can, uhhh go play with
your Britney Spears Barbie doll. You know, the one with the big nose? *snicker* *cough* ahem.
Anyways, thats off the topic. My story starts in a magical setting. A sweaty, muscly setting *drool*
Yes, a football field.
The team was in turmoil. They were sweating nervously, (it gets even better) consoling each other,
each hot, sweaty guy giving the next even hotter, even sweatier guy a back massage to relax (see?), but
to no avail. Craig Wing....was missing.
Only one person could save him. That one person...was me. As much as I hated to leave the hot
sweaty atmosphere, i knew...it was my job to bring him back...and like have sex with him and stuff.
So, off I went...I knew where he would be. I was right. There was only one group of no good sluts
that would actually NEED to steal someone to get jiggy. Mandy Moore, Christina Aguilira and their
evil ringmaster, Britney Spears. As I shoved open the door of their lair, (the bathroom at Starbucks)
I felt an overwhelming presence. A suffocating presence. A smell of plastic, a whiff of cheap
imposter perfume. It was Britney. And her two evil pets, Lefty and Righty, the two most evil breasts
in the world.
I pulled out my tit-popping stick and plunged it into her chest. As Britney fell to the floor screaming
"what a world what a world", i ducked to avoid the stream of sillicon. Mandy wasnt so lucky. The
poisonous liquid struck her in the face, marring her 12 year old features.
She began to squeal piercingly, "you told me they were real! oh so real! Oh, the way that theyre
making me feel!!!" she then fell to the ground, her face in Britneys crutch.
After giggling at that amusing spectacle for a few minutes, and taking some polaroids for the
tabloids, i turned to face Christina Aquilira, who was standing in front of Craig Wing, tied up
in a chair, lipstick marks all over his face. One look at his handsome features, and i got mad.
"How dare you!!!!! you..you..hussy!" I spat out. "You got whore-red lipstick on his face! Excuse
me while I get medievil on your ass!!!"
I pulled out my weapons, one by one. My whip was first. When I saw her face light up I knew that
was'nt going to work. I needed a weapon that wpuld shock her, stun her. I grinned as i pulled out my
wallet and revealed a pink condom *classy*. Her jaw dropped open in shock
"wha-whass that????" I opened my mouth and blew. *kinkkkyyy* Luckily i had brought my extra-large
one, or else my cunning plan would have failed. When it had reached a metre in diameter, i lunged
forward and put it over her head, and watched her suffocate. Giggling madly, i untied Craig Wing,
his arms all sweaty *drool*
"Oh no," he yelled. "i have to get to the footy!" I dropped my clothes to floor and giggled.
"Dont worry...I'll play with your balls" I whispered. He never made it to the game.
Come on, use ur imagination dudes!