HAPPY ANDITH FEST 2018!

And many, many thanks to Lady Tarlea for getting us all organised...again!

My submission this year is not going to be very long, but it is dedicated to Lady Tarlea, with all my respect and admiration.

Reviews are the lifeblood to the author's pen...

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I fell in love with her at first sight. She had beautiful, wavy, copper-blond locks, and deep, rich, chestnut-coloured eyes. When she walked, she swayed enticingly in all the right places. And her tail…her tail was magnificent, and God, she knew how to use it.

Not like mine. Mine wasn't docked, not quite, but obviously some human had tried to do it at some point in my life, or perhaps another dog had bitten it, because it was awkwardly bent halfway down, and I couldn't move it beyond that point. I can wag it, but it looks very odd. I don't really remember what happened to it: I try not to think about the time before Anthony came to the pound and rescued me. That's when my life really began.

Ah, Anthony! My master. Now there was a man who needed a friend! His shoulders were stooped and his eyes…well, when I saw them I understood the human phrase "thousand-yard stare". He was walking slowly past every cage, mine included, looking at us briefly before moving on but as he passed mine I couldn't help the small whine of disappointment that escaped me. So many had glanced at me, some grimacing at my tail and the chunk out of one of my ears, without seeing the pleading in my eyes, and then walked on. I looked down at my paws sure that the man had been my final chance. It would be the one-way walk to the vet's tomorrow.

"You look as miserable as I feel, old boy."

I looked up surprised. The man had come back. He was talking to me! I padded over to the cage door and put my head on one side. Why was this human so miserable, I wondered? But I liked him. He was softly spoken, but his voice was deep and commanding, as a top dog's should be. He had kindness in his eyes, as well as sadness. I gave a quiet "Howwur?" to respond to him.

"Oh yes. You're the one" he said more to himself than to me.

I went home with him that day. I couldn't believe my luck. I kept thinking that he would notice something that he'd overlooked, like my tail, or the way my ears don't match with one up and one down, or something, and then he would take me back and exchange me for another, better dog. But it never happened. And I loved him for it.

He gave me a name. I'd never had a name before. He even let me help choose it.

"What do you think of 'Rover'? Too traditional? I think so too. 'Cuddles'? Too soft for a veteran like you. How about 'Archie'?" I barked encouragingly. "You like Archie? Okay, Archie it is…Archie!"

I slept on his big bed in his den, and I had an owner and a purpose, and I was happy.

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We fell into a comfortable routine. Up at 6am for a run in the park. Anthony isn't a fast runner so I run ahead to check that all is safe and then run back to him. By the time we get back about 7am, I want my breakfast, but I wait until Anthony has had his shower and then I eat with him. Then we get in the big-box-with-wheels-that-goes-FAST to get to Anthony's other den. There he spends about nine hours exercising his fingers on something that clatters when he presses the keys. A lot of humans do this, it must have something to do with their weak bodies I think. Meanwhile, I sleep, and greet anyone else who comes through the door. Anthony calls these people 'clients' and I understand that I should be nice to them.

Then we go back home, have dinner, watch the picture box, and go to bed.

It was heaven.

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One day, Anthony didn't get out of bed at 6am. He had been leaking out of his eyes the night before, despite all my licking them to make them stop. He drank several glasses of horrible smelling liquid, gave me a big, sad cuddle, and then we went to bed. The next day, he felt terrible. He smelt terrible too. But he managed to get to the kitchen to give me my breakfast. He went back to bed, promising me a walk later. Well, that was fine by me.

So it was mid-morning by the time we got to the park. It was one of those days when Anthony doesn't go to his other den, and there were lots of people around, far more than when we go for our usual run. There were lots of other dogs as well, and that was brilliant fun! We introduced ourselves, and chased around. I'd never really had doggy friends before.

That's when I saw her. She was so, so beautiful. Long, silky fur, big, brown eyes, and fetching drooping ears, and a magnificent tail. I knew immediately that I would love her all the rest of my life, and that I didn't deserve her. She was pedigree, and I was not. I had come from the pound, and she so very obviously was a life-long cherished pet, who was physically perfect, and I had a broken tail. I just looked at her, adoringly. Then the most miraculous thing that ever happened in my life came to pass, even more amazing than Anthony adopting me from the pound.

She came over to me and sniffed me.

Oh, she was lovely! I would have done anything for her. Given her my last bone, or fought a Rottweiler: anything. What she actually wanted from me was something much, much more surprising.

"Hello." She had a gorgeous voice as well!

"Hello." I blushed under my fur.

"Are you new? I haven't seen you here before."

"We…my master and I, we usually come very early for a run. But…I am very pleased to meet you. My name's Archie."

"My name's Annabel. My mistress usually comes about lunchtime to try to avoid someone who hurt her."

"Oh." I couldn't think of anything else to say to that. She bowed her lovely head in embarrassment.

"Sorry. I usually open my mouth and put my paw in it. I apologise for ruining your walk." She started to walk sadly away.

"Oh, please don't go! I'm very awkward too. I've never really been taught how to behave in canine society."

"Didn't your mother and siblings teach you?" she turned to me again, I was relieved to see.

"I…don't remember much about my puppyhood. I was taken away from my littermates and a nasty human tried to teach other dogs to fight and kill by attacking me. I…don't like to think of it, really."

"Oh no! Poor you. It that how your tail…?"

"Yes" I replied plainly.

She went behind me and sniffed it. It was the most erotic bit of flirting I'd ever experienced.

"I think your tail is…handsome. It makes you look a bit rakish."

"Really? Do you really?"

"Mmmhmm" she smiled. Then she made the play bow, and I couldn't help but join in. We scampered over the grass, and behind the trees and bushes. There she turned her back on me, looking over her shoulder enticingly.

And I couldn't resist that either.

We had locked by the time Anthony found us, and there was nothing he could do. I didn't even hear him sitting on the grass with his head in his hands murmuring, "oh God, oh God!"

But I certainly did hear Annabel's mistress' scream when she came running to where Annabel and I stood in utter bliss.

"What the bloody hell…Oh my God! Anthony!" She quietened down when she saw my master, and a different sort of being upset overtook her. "Is this…?"

"I'm so, so sorry, but yes, this is my dog. My new dog."

"And now Annabel's going to have his pups…"

"I'm really so very sorry, Edith."