Okay, I'm going to post this before I lose my nerve. A humorous yet semi serious short story I wrote after wondering what the senshi would say if they ever saw their TV series, because knowing television in general, their life sure didn't happen like that. I'm also not sure how many people read the manga (I found it on ) but Lita's husband, Ittou Amanusa, is from there. He was so cute that I couldn't help but put him in here. Plus I can easily picture him being more involved in their story in another time, another place...
Hope you guys have a good three day weekend, and review if you have anything to say.
That's Not How I Remember It
In a little house in Tokyo Japan six friends were gathered around a television, gawking at its flashing screen.
"What is this monstrosity?"
"I know. It's like the only thing they got right are the names."
"I don't remember this much evil monologing."
"Or heroic monologing. Did I really talk that much before I attacked the monsters?"
"And what happened to everybody's clothes? I remember some of those villains weren't exactly covered head to toe, but this is just ridiculous. It's like they all forgot what a shirt is."
"And what about our skirts? They don't honestly expect us to save the world in skirts that are shorter than our hair do they?"
"Apparently they do."
The group's angry tirade dulled for moment as the brightly colored figures on the TV screen shouted out pretty attack names and the scantly clad feminine demon was turned to shining dust by golden crescent moos.
"Oh you have got to be kidding me." The most outspoken of the five girls – a young woman with long black hair and wearing jeans and red sweater – said in complete disbelief.
"Well it certainly is pretty." Another girl – this one with a red ribbon holding back most of her golden hair – said with a smile that showed she thought this a very grand joke.
"And Serena does love her moons." Another girl – one with blue eyes and hair almost the same shade – added from her seat next to the incredulous Serena. Unlike her other blonde friend Serena wore her hair up in pig tails with two buns at the top of her head.
"Not that much." Serena cried eyes still glued to the screen as if she just couldn't make herself believe what she was seeing.
"They squeeze the first two seasons into one year too, and that doesn't even cover the troubles with the daimons and the amazons." The girl with blue hair said, her lips pursed as if she was unhappy with how the TV writers had messed up the time.
"Oh lord we could hardly deal with that evil witch in five years. How do they expect them to kill her in and Diamond in one?" The girl with the red bow asked in exasperation.
"Completely weird." The tallest of the girls said from where she leaned against the back of the couch behind Serena and the dark haired man sitting next to her.
"Don't you mean, like, totally weird?" The girl with black hair said adopting the valley girl speech the TV heroines used more often than not.
Her friends laughed.
"So Amy, you said that Hermia found this when she was at your Mom's?" The girl wearing the red bow asked the girl sitting next to Serena.
Amy nodded making her blue hair fall forward across her pale cheeks. "Yes, she came home yelling moon prism power pretending to fight off monsters with a stick she found in the yard. Nearly scared me out of my skin when she mentioned she was going to defeat Queen Beryl."
The atmosphere in the warm and happy house instantly dropped at the mention of the queen of darkness. All six remembered too well that day when they had gone to face the evil queen, Serena most of all.
"Yeah, if Jove or Io came home saying that I would've been scared too." The tall girl with brown hair said. "But hey, at least we won." She said trying to smile. The expression didn't look right on her face.
Serena shuddered unconsciously at the memory of the evil queen of the Dark Kingdom. She still had nightmares about that day; the snow cold on her face, the earth shaking beneath her feet as Beryl built her strength, her friends' bodies scattered around her, eyes blank in death...
She shuddered again and rubbed her arms in an effort to get rid of the goose bumps that had started to crawl up to her shoulders.
A strong arm wrapped around her, offering comfort. Serena looked up to see her husband smiling somewhat sadly at her. He remembered that day too.
The girl with black hair saw the heartfelt look Serena and Darien were giving each other and groaned. "Dear lord, you two have been married almost ten years and you still look like love sick teenagers. Why don't you get a hobby already?" She snapped playfully. She knew there was no use in telling them to grow up. They wouldn't listen anyway.
Darien grinned with a sly look at Serena. "I've already got one Raye. I don't have time for another."
Serena turned red but still managed a, "Like you and Chad are any better Raye?"
Raye opened her mouth to argue but the girl with the red bow quickly intervened. "Yeah I noticed that you were the only one with a steady boyfriend in this show Serena. They didn't even give me Eugene. How sad is that?"
"Well Mina it's not like you two went steady or anything. Didn't you guys only have one date?" The girl with green eyes and brown hair asked with a teasing smile from where she stood behind Serena, Amy, and Darien.
Mina glared at her friend. "We had two dates Lita thank you so much."
"The worst nights of your life if I remember your exact words." Raye shot slyly.
"And didn't you weasel your way out of the second one by saying you had a rare stomach flu that made you barf jellybeans and turned your face green with purple polka dots?" Amy asked, joining in on the fun.
Raye and Lita laughed. "I still can't believe he fell for that one." Lita said.
Mina shrugged her shoulders trying to act like she didn't care just a little too hard. "Well I never claimed he was a genius, just gross. And besides you're one to talk Lita you didn't have a boyfriend either."
Lita grinned. "Yeah but that was because I had just gotten out of a very serious relationship. Freddy dumped me right before I transferred schools. And what with fighting off alien monsters and all I didn't have time for a date until high school."
Raye rolled her eyes. "How serious can a relationship be when you don't even need to wear a bra yet?" She asked.
"Plenty." Lita defended. "Why I remember this one time when he and I snuck out at night and met down this mountain road. Man was he a good kisser. We-"
"Whoa!" Darien yelled throwing his hand out to stop Lita. "We don't want to know Lita really."
Lita rolled her eyes. "Oh like you and Serena were all sanctified the whole time you were dating. I still remember that thunderstorm in senior year even if no one else does."
"Oh trust us, we remember." Raye added with a significant look at Serena and Darien. The other girls either giggled or gave them looks of there own; the kind that said 'admit it or not we know what you two did'.
Serena and Darien turned as red as foxes. They remembered that night too. They just weren't about to admit to it.
"What thunderstorm?" Serena asked innocently.
"Yeah, I don't remember any thunderstorm. What are you guys talking about?" Darien asked.
Lita, Raye, Mina, and Amy all rolled their eyes, not buying their façade for a moment. "Right, of course you don't. It was so small after all. I think they only called it a monsoon thrice on the news." Mina said.
Lita raised an eyebrow at her. "Thrice Mina? Really?"
Mina ignored her.
"You know I don't think you can call it a thunderstorm anymore when it rains for a week straight and closes all the major buildings and roadways." Raye said rolling her eyes as she crossed her legs and threw one arm over the back of her chair.
"It sure didn't feel like a week." Serena sighed blissfully. Then she caught the bemused, knowing looks her friends were giving her and she quickly changed the subject. "Oh I mean, er, right that thunderstorm." Serena said with a nervous smile. "We didn't do anything. Well not much of anything anyway." She added somewhat irritated. "We were...interrupted." She said, her voice dropping sadly as she remembered the short tempered, pink haired girl that had 'dropped in' near the end of the mini monsoon.
They all fell silent again, remembering the girl from the future that had changed their lives almost as much as they had changed hers. The TV show continued to play, bright and colorful. A girl with pink hair had now joined the other girls. The people watching it couldn't help but feel that the writers had sugar coated the truth a little too much; not all of their adventures had had such happy endings.
"I was surprised they made her so young." Mina said as Mini Moon, decked out in pink from hair to boots appeared on screen, pink sugar heart attack at the ready.
Serena gave a half hearted laugh. "Well she sure acted like a kid most of the time, always trying to steal my man too. I wouldn't have minded so much if she had really been a child but boy did she have nerve." Some of the sorrow left her voice as she remembered the fights they had had.
"Why do you think they made her your daughter?" Lita asked as the televised sailor scouts and Tuxedo Mask celebrated their victory.
Serena shrugged. "I don't know. I guess we did fight like family."
Darien however looked more uncomfortable than his wife. "I thought that was slightly creepy. At least I wasn't hit on by my own daughter." He said, sounding as if he wished he could shake that notion right out of his head.
"Oh come on Darien," Raye said, "TV Rini doesn't really hit on TV Darien. She's just got her daddy wrapped around her little finger. She's a complete daddy's girl."
Lita gave a loud bark of laughter. "Our Rini was too. They just got the wrong daddy." She said pointing at the TV screen as a young man with blonde hair wearing a high school uniform appeared on screen. He knocked on Darien's door but when he didn't answer the boy left, never to be seen in the show again.
Lita snorted unhappily. "I can't believe they left him out. He was even more important then those aliens An and Ali and still that's the only time you see him. He doesn't even speak!" She cried in annoyance. The others smiled at her outburst. Lita was always so defensive of her Ittou.
"Well Amanusa has never been the most outgoing person, but yeah, they should've included him. The fight with Beryl would have been completely different if he hadn't been there." Darien said, a shadow crossing his face as he remembered his part in that fight. If his friend hadn't been there to help snap him out of Beryl's spell, he might have killed his Serena.
Serena watched the screen as TV Serena and Rini began to argue again. Then she sighed. "It's not that I'm not glad, extremely, profoundly, amazingly glad that you are all alive but..." She couldn't continue her sentence.
"But now we won't ever get to see her again." Amy said sadly.
Serena nodded. Amy was as perceptive as always.
"Yeah," Lita said sadly, well aware that part of the reason why their Rini wouldn't exist in the future now was her fault. She and Darien were still alive. It was amazing how only two people could make all the difference in the future. For instance they had both died in Rini's past and Serena and Ittou had been so heartbroken and lonely...
But Lita had never been one to think too hard on what ifs. The fact was that, thanks to Rini, she and Darien were alive and Serena wasn't about to hook up with her Ittou because of it. "We'll just have to remember her then. No one else can but we will. We won't let the world ever forget that Rini helped to save them all." She said with a determined nod.
Lita's speech rallied the others out of their sadness. "Right." They said almost as one.
"Right!" The TV scouts echoed.
The friends looked at the television screen in surprise. Then they all burst out laughing.
"Copy-cats." Mina said with a laugh.
"Speaking of cats where do you suppose Luna and Artemis have got to? They should have been here by now. Hermia wants to see them so badly." Amy said craning her neck to catch a view of the group of children in the other room. Her blue haired daughter was among them, laughing at something one of her friends had said.
Mina frowned lightly at her watch. "I know. They haven't called either."
"Don't worry so much." Lita said flapping a hand at her friends. "They're adults. They can take care of themselves. I'm sure they'll be here any minute."
Raye nodded "Yeah and if they aren't then will just have to eat all the ice cream before they get here."
Serena laughed. "It'll serve them right."
"Hasn't anyone told you it's not nice to keep cats from their cream?" A smooth voice appeared in the doorway.
Six heads turned to see two well groomed people standing in the doorway. They were almost complete opposites. The woman was petite and darkly colored with flowing black hair and golden eyes. She wore a yellow and black dress that ended just above her knees, showing pale, slender legs that were well muscled despite their daintiness. The man on the other hand was tall and slim with white hair and crystal blue eyes and dressed in genteel white and blue long sleeved shirt and trousers. However they did share a few similarities, such as their inhuman grace and the loving look they gave each other whenever they thought no one was looking.
"It's about time you two got here." Raye said getting to her feet to greet their strangely furless feline friends.
"Yeah you're late. What did we tell you about pussyfooting around?" Mina laughed.
Artemis rolled his eyes. "Ha ha Mina. You've a sharp a wit as always." He drawled.
Mina winked at him. "You lived with me for years Artemis. You should be used to it by now." She teased before giving him an affectionate hug. Girls never got over their first pet.
Luna leaned over the back of the couch to wrap Serena in a hug. "No wonder you use hugs to greet each other." She said as she perched on the armrest as gracefully as a cat can in human form. "They feel so warm."
Serena smiled. "How does it feel to be human again?" She asked. "I don't think I've seen you without fur since last Christmas."
Luna spread her fingers and peered at them interestedly as she rotated her wrist, marveling at the motion. "It's not quite as clumsy as before so I do believe I'm getting better at this although it still feels odd not having a tail. Oh but never mind me," she said excitedly looking up at Serena, "did you tell yet?" She asked eagerly.
Everyone's head snapped up at the mysterious words. "Tell what yet?" Raye asked suspiciously.
Serena's face turned beet red. "As a matter of fact Luna, no, I hadn't and I wasn't going to till after the party." She told her friend in a low voice.
Luna did not feel chided in the least. Instead she clapped her hands excitedly and almost purred with happiness. "Oh goody I haven't missed the fun. Well get on with it Serena. Tell them the good news." Luna encouraged.
Serena stared at her lap in embarrassment. "Well," She hesitated.
"Yeah Serena tell us the good news." Mina said watching Serena closely as if she would miss the news if she looked away.
"Erm..." Serena muttered.
"Yeah come on girl, spill." Lita said leaning on the back of the sofa again to get a good look at her friend's red face.
Darien put an encouraging hand on his wife's back. "You might as well Bunny. Looks like the cat's out of the bag now." He said with a sideways look at Luna.
The cat woman gently whacked him upside the head. "Oh not you too Darien. I thought you were supposed to be the sensible one."
Darien smiled cheekily. "Not sensible enough to avoid a good cat joke Luna."
Serena took a deep audible breath, instantly catching every eye in the room. She took hold of Darien's hand for support. Then she paused, not so much for dramatic effect but so she could gather up her courage.
"I'm going to have a baby." She said simply.
There was a moment of stunned silence as all Serena and Darien's friends stumbled over the thought, "But I thought you couldn't..." before Serena's words really sunk in.
The room exploded in a mess of congratulations and laughter. Most of the laughter came from Luna who was enjoying the looks on the others faces tremendously.
"How wonderful!"
"It's about time."
"I bet it's a girl."
"Have you told your parents yet?"
"When are you due?"
"Have you thought about names yet?"
"Alright already!" Darien yelled over the din. "Sheesh, how are we supposed to answer if you keep asking questions?" He asked. No matter how long he had known them it always took him by surprise when all the girls started talking at once and still expected an answer.
Serena closed one eye in thought as she counted off each answer on her fingers. "Let's see thank you, don't you start, we'll have to wait and see although I suspect you're right, no, May, and yes in that order."
It took everyone a moment to try and match Serena's answer to their questions. Mina took the opportunity to laugh. "Ha! Mine was last. So what kind of names were you thinking of. Come on Serena spit it out. This is the toughest question you'll have to face so you got to think about it early. You can't leave it for the last minute like you did with all your homework."
Serena gave Mina a sideways look. "Thanks Mina, but I'll let that one slide since I'm too excited to yell at you. And we have decided that no matter what, if it is a girl we're going to name her Rini." She said. Darien squeezed her hand comfortingly.
"That's sweet Serena." Amy said.
Only Raye rolled her eyes. "You're so sentimental Serena." But she was smiling as she said it.
They were still talking about the baby when the sound of small footsteps patted into the doorway. "Uncle Artemis! Aunt Luna! You're here!" A little girl yelled excitedly. A moment later little Hermia tackled her unrelated uncle, almost making him fall over. Once Artemis regained his balance he scooped up the birthday girl and gave her a kiss on her cheek.
"You are terribly and dreadfully late Uncle Artemis." Hermia said as sternly as any six year old can. "The party started an hour ago. You'll have to make up for it with a super great present you know." She said slyly.
"Hermia," Amy said sternly.
But Artemis and Luna laughed. "It's alright." Artemis told Amy with a smile. Then he placed the little girl on the floor and pulled a long velvet box out of his pocket.
Hermia's eyes grew wide. Her daddy gave jewelry to her mommy in boxes like those.
Artemis and Luna each had an incredibly pleased expression on their faces; as if they knew something no one else could possibly guess. It was a distinctly feline expression.
"Well hopefully this will make up for it." Artemis told Hermia before expertly flicking the box open.
"Wow..." Hermia breathed in awe.
"What is it Hermia?" Her mother asked curiously.
The little girl reverently pulled out a slender wand barely as long as her little forearm. The stick was as thin as two of her fingers and painted a bright, shiny blue, the color of the lake Hermia's parents took her and her little brother too every summer. The blue wand was topped with a sparkling blue marble sized sphere encircled by a golden ring.
"It's Mercury's transformation wand!" Hermia cried. "Oh thank you Uncle Artemis and Aunt Luna. I wanted one so bad. It's so pretty. It doesn't look like the one in the store though. Mary's got one, 'cept hers is red for Mars, and it's not as pretty or shiny as this one." Hermia said.
Artemis winked at her. "That's because it's the real one sweet heart."
"I'll teach you how to use it later kitten but for now don't use it inside alright?" Luna said.
Hermia nodded excitedly, not really understanding what her aunt and uncle were talking about. After another quick, "Thank you!" she ran off to show her new wand to her friends.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Am asked as a mother's fear rising in her chest at the thought of her little girl fighting evil like she did.
Luna put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We can't stop destiny dear. There have to be Sailor Scouts to keep the Earth safe. And she'll need to know before she's grown what she can do if only so she doesn't accidentally use her power and hurt someone."
"Don't worry Amy," Artemis added. "You're still Sailor Mercury. She won't have to step into your place until after you've passed which won't be for a long time." He told her reassuringly.
Amy swallowed hard and nodded. "Of course," she said, "I'm just worried is all."
"We can hardly fault you that." Luna said softly. "It isn't a safe life, but it is needed."
"We'll just have to make sure that the world is kept safe for them." Lita said with her usual driven determination.
Raye nodded. "Right, if any more morons try to conquer the world we'll just have to put them in their place."
"You said it," Mina added. "We'll pound them into dust." She said hitting her palm with a fierce fist.
Serena took Amy's hand. "That's right Amy. We'll give them a future where fighting is just a bad memory. We'll keep them safe." She said putting her other hand protectively over her stomach.
Amy's logical mind argued, saying that there wasn't a guaranteed way they could give their children that perfect future, not without severe loss. But the reassuring smiles of her friends quickly chased away this sad logic.
"Of course we will." She said.
Greg's head suddenly appeared in the doorway, a questioning look on his face. The question faded when he saw the two new figures in the room. "I suppose I should have guessed you two gave her that wand." He said. He opened his mouth to say something else when chorus of young voices started chanting, "Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!"
"Hurry up Daddy!" Hermia called above the choir.
Greg smiled at their antics and shook his head. "I think you guys had better hurry up. We can't cut the cake without out you. Besides we don't want any leftovers." He said giving Serena a look.
Serena didn't appear to notice. Her mind was too full of images of delectable cake. "Well what are we waiting for then? Let's go eat." She said quickly getting to her feet and heading into the other room.
Her friends shook their heads at her. "Some things never change." Luna said as she got to her feet and followed Serena into the living room where Hermia's birthday party was taking place, Artemis right behind her.
Amy sighed quietly as the others followed the felines. "And some things must." She said to herself.
"Come on guys," a tiny, upbeat voice called from the television speakers, "let's do this."
Amy turned in time to see cartoon Sailor Moon striking a dramatic pose, ready to go fight off evil and save the day.
"Right!" Little Mini Moon said. "If we stand together, nothing can stop us."
Amy smiled as she got to her feet. It seemed the cartoonists had gotten a few things right, number one being that both Serena and Rini loved to give speeches more then anybody around.
"Come on Mommy!" Hermia cried again, sticking her head through the open door, her tousled blue hair getting into her equally blue eyes. "You're the only one left."
Amy smiled sweetly at her little girl. "I'm coming sweetheart. I'm just turning off the television."
Hermia smiled and darted off. "Okay!"
Amy shook her head. She really was worrying too much. Her friends were right; between them all they could do anything, including keep their children safe.
With a quick flick of her wrist Amy turned the TV off and went to join the party.