Loose tag to the end of 9x10 with Dean's whole "Im poison" speech. Jeez it's not even hiatus and these weird little poems/stories won't stop popping into my head.

This Burden

He is hard edges and hard liquor

A rusted out shell of blood and sweat and smoke

He digs his own grave with a smile on his face

and a hole in his heart

Convinced he's not worth the funeral

much less a memory to be reminisced.

You tell him it's all just a game, he's just been dealt a bad hand

But he tells you that the game is rigged.

Odds never in his favor but he just keeps pushing

Just keeps losing big

Hoping for a miracle but not having enough faith

to pray for one.

He opens doors like there's a fire on the other side

and he doesn't intend on getting out alive

Consumed by flames that have ruled his every decision,

haunted his every nightmare

He is rough callouses and rough circumstances

Thrown against so many brick walls

that he can no longer see the window in front of him

Blinded by guilt and a righteous anger

that hardens his heart, encases his emotions

and carves vicious lines down a face

already drawn with age beyond his years

Too much living, not enough time

He is beautiful tragedy

A force the universe couldn't handle or predict

So it beats him down with countless blows

Leaves him bruised and battered on a cracked floor

Spending a too-short recovery wrapped in itchy sheets

and self-loathing so consuming

he almost wishes that this had been the time he'd moved just a little too slow

Wishing people would stop trying to save him

when he knows the poison that runs through his veins

was there all along

scarring his soul and tainting every good memory

with the belief that it doesn't matter

with the indisputable fact that he is damned.

But still he hefts up this burden, this infinite curse

Carries it with a raw desire, an endless need

to just keep moving

To drop caution on the nearest doorstep

and drive until the road decays beneath his tire tracks

and he falls gratefully into blessed oblivion

No longer around to spread his poison

Across the lives of those he loves the most.

I know it's different from my normal style so please let me know what you thought! Thanks so much for reading.