A response fic to Torie Rilistkrytcat's Caius is Older.
How'd you do?
You know, these days, children think they can get away with anything. The misinformed youths of my day simply believe talking in Medieval English will assure them a place in the oldies society- well, let me tell you, posing as an oldie does not make it so. So by all means, believe Caius' drivel and nonsense about pet dinosaurs called Rex, and loincloths and Nosferatu if you will, but just remember this, when he was out there playing with T-rexes as a young lad in nappy-loincloths, I was already an old man, drooling into my incontinence loincloths.
Of course, I can't actually remember what age I was when I was changed- you can put that down to senility- all the greatest oldies have it. I can't even remember what I said five seconds ago.
Of course, I can't actually remember what age I was when I was changed- you can put that down to senility- all the greatest oldies have it. I can't even remember what I said five seconds ago.
That coupled with my senility and loss of short term memory mean I can't actually remember what I just said.
That said, I can't remember when I was changed, I can't even remember what I said five seconds ago. I'm just senile like that.
Nosferatu and Dracula, they're all very well and good as far as babies go, but have you heard about Ye Olde Vampyre, and Caveman Ugga Ugga, the first recorded vampire in history? Well, it was, in fact, me who changed those people- much older lads than Nosferatu. I knew that young man when he was a tiny infant- I tried to drink his blood, only my false teeth fell out before I could bite him.
Only 3659 years old...bah! Humbug! It is Caius who is the young one.
I, Marcus, have seen many eons. I was around when the first dinosaurs crawled out of the ocean, and I ate them. I was around when the cavemen discovered fire, and I was the one who showed it to them. I was around when Caligula married his horse- I performed the ceremony. I was duumvir twice in Pompeii, I was with Alexander when he conquered Persia, as his most trusted old advisor. All throughout history, if you look closely enough, you will hear talk of the indubitably old man, who shows up at every important moment to share his senile wisdom...and then drink the blood of half the townspeople, occasionally leaving behind a used incontinence loincloth or pair of false teeth.
So remember me, dear friends, and raise your glasses, as I shall too (although with my eyesight I doubt I shall be able to see without them) to me, Marcus, the oldest vampire ever to walk the face of the earth, whose senility ensures I shall always forget you.